Here is the second oneshot! The italics are memories (written in past tense) and in regular print is the present, written in present tense.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji or any of its characters.
January 13, 1992 - 8:12 AM - Tenth grade
Ciel stepped into the classroom, and immediately all eyes turned to him. He cringed; he really hated being the new kid, and it was made even worse since he had transferred in the middle of the school year. It also didn't help that he was a year younger than the other students, having been allowed to skip a grade.
The teacher smiled warmly at him. "You must be Ciel Phantomhive, correct?" He continued at Ciel's nod. "You can have a seat in that empty spot right there." He pointed to a desk by a boy with black hair and red eyes.
Ciel nodded and quietly moved to the spot indicated as the teacher returned to the lecture. Sitting down, he pulled out the correct book and began to flip through the pages as he tried to find the right page.
"Page 197."
Ciel jerked, his gaze flying over to the boy next to him. "Oh, um, thanks."
"You're welcome. I'm Sebastian, by the way," he said, offering his hand.
Ciel glanced at him before slowly shaking it. "Ciel. But you already knew that, didn't you?" His face flushed, and he wished he could disappear.
"Ciel," Sebastian mused. "That's a nice name. French, right?"
Blue eyes blinked. "Um, yeah, it is."
"But you're not French." It was more of a statement than a question.
Ciel shook his head. "No, I'm British, through and through."
Sebastian hummed quietly, then suddenly spoke, "I think we'll be great friends, you and I," he smiled.
"Really?" Ciel asked. "We just met. How can you know already?"
"Trust me," Sebastian assured him with a wink. "It will always be you."
Ciel laughed lightly, feeling a bit giddy from the red-eyed boy's infectious attitude. "Forever?" He asked before realizing that it might sound stupid.
"Forever," Sebastian agreed as he nodded his head.
Ciel offered him a shy smile before returning his gaze to his book. He called this a miracle. Within five minutes of entering this class, he already had a friend. Perhaps going to a new school wouldn't be that bad, after all.
April 24, 1994 - 4:56 PM - Twelfth grade
"Sebastian, I thought you came over here to study, but all you're doing is pacing back and forth," Ciel said with an exasperated sigh.
"I did come here to study," Sebastian replied.
"Then get your ass over here and study!" Ciel said, irritated.
A deep scowl crossed the older boy's face, and he stayed where he was across the room. His arms folded stubbornly, and he leaned against the wall.
"Sebastian, what's wrong?" Ciel asked, his brow furrowing as he shifted on the bed. His friend was behaving strangely, and he wasn't sure how to take it. Usually, Sebastian had no qualms about being close to him, but for the past several days, the red-eyed male had been avoiding him. They sat further apart than normal, and Sebastian was even more silent than he usually was.
"Nothing's wrong," Sebastian bit out with a scowl.
"Oh, yeah, I believe that," Ciel said, rolling his eyes. "Stop being a drama queen, and tell me what the hell is going on."
Time seemed to freeze as the friends glared at each other. They were both stubborn, both unwilling to lose. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity had passed, Sebastian huffed and looked away.
Ciel hid a smirk, realizing that he had won. "Tell me, Sebastian."
The red-eyed boy hesitated, then crossed the room in two strides. He took Ciel by the shoulders, leaned down, and kissed him.
Ciel was stunned, and he couldn't move from the shock. His eyes widened as Sebastian pressed closer to him, his tongue sweeping across his lips as he looked for entrance. Tentatively, Ciel opened his mouth, and he moaned when Sebastian's tongue plunged in. They remained that way for several seconds until Sebastian pulled away, his head lowered as he refused to look at Ciel. The realization of what he had done hit him full force, and he groaned.
"Sebastian?" Ciel breathed, trying to get him to look at him.
"Shit," Sebastian cursed as he stepped back, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just... Shit..."
Ciel watched as Sebastian paced the room, clearly agitated. He sighed. "Sebastian, what the hell is going on?"
"I like you!" The red-eyed male blurted out.
A blue-black eyebrow raised. "And I like you, too."
"Yeah, I know you do. I mean, we are friends, and friends are supposed to like each other, but... Huh?" Sebastian paused and blinked when Ciel chuckled. "What's so funny?"
Another chuckle filtered through the room as Ciel stepped towards his friend. "I know what you're trying to say, Sebastian. You like me as more than a friend, but you don't have to worry. I'm not going to yell at you or run away screaming in horror or disgust because I like you in that way, too. I have for a while now," he confessed. "I just never had the courage to say anything."
A pleased smirk found its way to Sebastian's lips. "I'm glad we feel the same way."
Ciel gave a relieved smile. Truth be told, he had actually liked Sebastian since he had first met him, but he hadn't wanted to say anything for fear that he would alienate himself from having any friends. But now that he knew Sebastian's feelings, he had nothing to worry about.
"Okay, so now that that's out of the way, we can study," Sebastian said. "We have to get good grades on these tests if we want to get into college."
Ciel nodded and went back over to the bed, plopping down beside the book. "Okay, let's get to it then."
Sebastian sighed and lowered himself next to Ciel. "I can't wait to get out of this town, go to college, and meet some new people."
Ciel froze, his heart painfully skipping a beat. "R-right. Sounds fun." He tilted his head down to stare at the book, but the words blurred together and made it impossible to decipher.
"Hey, what's wrong with you now?" Sebastian questioned, lifting Ciel's chin up and forcing him to look at him.
"I'm scared," Ciel admitted. "What if you find someone else that you like in college?"
"That won't happen. It will always be you, Ciel," Sebastian assured him, giving him a peck on the lips before wrapping him in his arms again.
Ciel hummed contentedly. "Forever?"
"Forever," Sebastian said.
October 3, 2010 - 7:18 PM - Twenty-five and twenty-four
There is an annoying beeping sound, and Ciel growls, determined not to open his eyes because damn, his head hurts. Actually, his entire body aches when he stops to think about it, and he can't help but wonder if maybe Sebastian had been a little too rough last night.
The beeping continues, and the blue-eyed male finally gives up. Apparently, Sebastian is already awake; otherwise, the alarm would have been turned off by now. Opening his eyes slightly, he rolls over to hit the snooze, only to find that he is unable to do so.
A cry echoes through the room as a sharp pain rips through his body from his head to his toes. His vision swims, and he struggles to focus through the haze that he finds himself in. As he squints and glances about the room, he panics upon realizing that this is not his bedroom. The tension only rises when he discovers that his right leg is immobilized and he has bandages covering half of his body. Wires are attached to him, too, and as his eyes follow the trail, they lead to several machines monitoring his heart and breathing rates, as well as other vitals.
It hits him then, as to where he is. A hospital. But the next question is, why is he there? What happened? He doesn't remember.
His heartbeat increases, and then a shadow falls over him. He jerks his head up, yelping at the ache radiating from his head. Familiar red eyes and black hair come into view, and he relaxes.
"Sebastian?" Ciel croaks.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Sebastian questions softly, resting his hand lightly on Ciel's shoulder.
"Like shit," Ciel replies. He leans into the touch but is surprised when Sebastian seems to flinch and pulls his hand away. He frowns, but says nothing about it. "What happened?"
"You were in a car accident. Do you remember anything about that?" At Ciel's shake of the head, Sebastian continues. "Apparently, some drunk idiot ran a red light and smashed into your car. The doctors said you were lucky to get off as easily as you did." He pauses to reconsider his words, sitting down on a nearby chair. "Not that your injuries aren't serious now, but they could have been much worse."
"What injuries do I have?" Ciel inquires. He's aware of the obvious ones, but he wants to know everything.
"Broken right leg, mild concussion, various cuts and bruises, whiplash, sprained wrist," Sebastian recites. "You had me listed as an emergency contact, and I knew that you didn't have anyone else to come for you, so I did," Sebastian says, shifting slightly on the chair.
Ciel gives him a quizzical look. "Of course you would come. We do live together, after all." He watches as Sebastian opens his mouth to say something, only to snap it shut a few seconds later.
"Yeah, we do." Sebastian leans forward, concern evident in his gaze. "Ciel, what's the date today?"
Ciel's face scrunches up as he concentrates. "July something? Wait, somewhere around July 20, right?"
Sebastian says nothing, only purses his lips as his eyes narrow slightly. "Why don't you rest some more, okay? I need to go tell the doctor that you're awake."
"Okay," the younger male responds slowly. He doesn't argue, even though he wants to know what Sebastian is hiding. But he's tired, and rest sounds so good. He tells himself that he will sleep for only a few minutes, and then his eyelids drift closed.
7:31 PM
"Dr. Spears!" Sebastian calls out to the man, hurrying towards him.
Will pauses and turns around. "Yes, Mr. Michaelis?"
"Ciel woke up a few minutes ago, but there's something wrong. He doesn't remember something that happened about three months ago, and he thinks the date is around July 20," Sebastian speaks.
A frown crosses the doctor's face. "Could be amnesia. He definitely hit his head hard enough for that. I'll have to examine him myself to be sure." He begins to walk towards Ciel's room when he pauses. "This event... What was it?"
A moment of silence, and then Sebastian shakes his head. "It's not very important right now, and I think it will only cause Ciel more stress."
Will studies Sebastian for a moment before grunting. It's none of his business, and frankly, he isn't interested in his patient's personal life. "Very well. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."
The red-eyed male watches as he scurries away, grumbling to himself about now having more paperwork to fill out. And then Sebastian begins to plan. He'll have to call the pharmacy where he works to let them know that his work schedule will have to be altered slightly so that he can take care of Ciel, and he'll have to...
He frowns. There is a lot to do in the few days that are left before Ciel can go home, and he has to make sure that everything is perfect. A twinge of guilt rises inside of him before he squelches it. He shouldn't feel guilty. It's not his fault that Ciel doesn't remember.
January 5, 2011 - 8:24 AM
Blue eyes flicker open, slowly adjusting to the bright sunlight streaming in through the window. Ciel is tempted to roll over in bed and go back to sleep, but the delicious smell of food wafts over to him, causing his stomach to growl. With a groan, he realizes that he won't be able to get back to sleep. Sitting up, he stretches and grimaces when his back pops, then climbs out of bed.
He moves slowly into the bathroom, favoring his right leg. It is still sore and tender, even after three months. He has a doctor's appointment tomorrow to check the progress he has made from going to physical therapy. After a quick shower, he dresses and heads to the kitchen.
He is greeted by the sight of Sebastian placing pancakes on two plates, and he sits down at the table to wait.
Sebastian glances over and smiles. "Morning, Ciel." He crosses over to him, setting the plate before him, and leans down to give him a kiss.
Ciel smiles up at him. "Morning. How did you sleep?"
"I should be asking you that question," Sebastian frowns. "I heard you tossing and turning last night. Is it your leg bothering you again?"
Hesitating, Ciel slowly nods. "Just a little."
"Why don't you take some medicine for the pain?" The red-eyed male places a hand on his lover's shoulder.
Ciel shakes his head. "No, it's bearable. It doesn't hurt enough to warrant using medicine. It just makes it uncomfortable."
The frown on Sebastian's face deepens, and he sighs. "Ciel, that's what the medicine is for. If it's causing you to lose sleep, then just take the damn medicine."
"I'm fine," Ciel insists.
"That's not what the bags under your eyes say." Sebastian pokes Ciel's face. "I'm just worried about you. I could have lost you in that accident, Ciel."
"But you didn't," Ciel reminds him.
"I know," Sebastian replies, but there is something hidden behind his eyes. He leans down and presses his lips to Ciel's, tongue flicking out and slipping inside of his lover's mouth.
Ciel moans quietly and grants him full access. A hand comes up to clutch at Sebastian's shirt desperately, pulling him closer. The kiss turns rough, the sound of teeth clicking together along with small pants of air fill the room.
"Mm. As much as I'd like to stay and continue, I really have to get to work," Sebastian murmurs, reluctantly pulling away after one last kiss.
"Have fun dealing drugs," Ciel teases.
A chuckle fills the room, and Sebastian bends over to press a kiss to Ciel's forehead. "If I'm dealing drugs, then what does that make you?"
"Your accomplice?" Ciel supplies with a cheeky smile.
Sebastian laughs and shakes his head. "Brat. I'll be back later tonight. Behave, and don't forget to take your medicine."
Ciel rolls his eyes. "Yes, Mother," he says in a sarcastic tone before breaking into a smile. "I love you."
"I love you, too," Sebastian replies quietly with another quick kiss. "But now I really need to leave before they decide to fire my ass for being late."
"Ah, now that would be a shame," Ciel nods ruefully, but his eyes are alight with mischief and teasing. "You have such a nice ass."
Sebastian growls slightly as he takes a step back, red eyes smoldering. "Just you wait until tonight, Ciel. It's going to be a good night," he promises then takes his leave, making sure to lock the door behind him.
After Sebastian leaves for work, Ciel gets up and goes to the room where he keeps his photography equipment. There are albums and loose pictures scattered everywhere. In total, there are hundreds of pictures, and at least half of them are of Sebastian. He smiles; it makes sense considering Sebastian is his favorite subject. He loves catching the red-eyed man off guard and snapping pictures that way. Whether the man is awake, asleep, in the shower, or eating, Ciel is there with his camera, ready and waiting for the perfect moment.
But there are some pictures that are hidden away, only to be seen by Ciel and Sebastian's were taken in the throes of passion, when they were lost in each other, entwined together. The camera has captured them in their most vulnerable moments, their expressions unguarded, pure, and full of emotion that they only show for each other.
A soft smile crosses his lips as he reverently touches a picture of Sebastian with his fingertips. He loves the older man and only needs to think of his promise that it was him forever if he's in a bad mood, and suddenly, he's feeling better.
Ciel stares at another picture, noting the look on Sebastian's face. It's so full of love and pleasure and lust, and Ciel bites back a moan. He loves it when he has the opportunity to see that expression. Catching his lower lip between his teeth, he reaches a hand down to palm his hardening erection and moans at the friction.
He undoes his pants and slides his hand under the waistband, fingertips caressing the head of his cock before he takes it in his hand. He strokes himself, gently at first, but as the pleasure increases, the pace becomes faster and faster.
The shrill tone of the phone causes Ciel to nearly jump out of his skin and clutch his chest. He tries to control his heavy breathing as he reaches for the phone. "H-hello?"
"Hello. Is Sebastian there?"
"No, he's not. May I take a message?" Ciel shifts some items around on his desk, trying to find a pen and piece of paper.
"No, no, that's fine. It's nothing urgent. I just needed to talk to him about something that happened a while ago. I'll call back later."
The dial tone comes on, and Ciel is left staring quizzically at the phone. What the hell was that?
5:41 PM
The front door opens and closes, and keys jingle as they're hung up. A long sigh is heard as Sebastian runs a hand through his hair. Work had been long and hectic, and he's just glad to be back home.
He pads into the kitchen and grabs a bottle of water before traipsing through the house to find Ciel. Usually, Ciel is there to greet him when he gets home, but today he isn't. The quiet house does nothing to soothe his worry, and Sebastian finds himself hurrying faster. The living room, bathroom, and Ciel's office are all ruled out, and the red-eyed man opens the door to the bedroom. His shoulders sag with relief as he catches a glimpse of the younger male asleep on the bed.
He leans against the doorpost for a minute, content to watch him sleep since he hadn't gotten much sleep the previous night. A soft smile plays on his lips before he steps towards the bed, the temptation to touch Ciel too much to resist. Settling onto the bed, Sebastian reaches a hand out and brushes strands of hair out of Ciel's face. He bends down and presses a kiss to his lips, which is returned despite Ciel being asleep.
Sebastian smirks as he lowers a hand to Ciel's covered cock and traces the small bulge present there. The low moan that his action elicits sends waves of need and arousal straight to Sebastian's own length, and his red eyes darken. He nips at Ciel's ear as he applies more pressure to the younger male's length.
Blue eyes flutter open slowly, blinking to clear his vision from the fog of sleep. "Sebastian?" He mumbles.
The older man doesn't answer, merely captures his lips once more. His tongue pries into Ciel's mouth, coaxing his tongue into playing. He slides his other hand up Ciel's shirt to tease and pinch the hardened nipples.
Ciel gasps and arches his back into the touch, teeth nipping at Sebastian's lower lip. A tiny bead of blood bubbles to the surface, and he quickly licks it away, soothing the small injury. He allows Sebastian to pull him up in order to rid him of his shirt, and he does the same to Sebastian.
Hands roam and pinch, teeth and tongue following in their wake as Sebastian laves attention on Ciel's chest. He loves the wanton sounds his young lover makes, each cry and moan only serving to fuel his own arousal.
Pants and boxers are quickly shed, both men longing to feel skin against skin. As soon as they are able, they are pressed against each other once more, lips, chests, and erections. Twin moans filter through the quiet room as they buck their hips together, creating the friction that they both are searching for.
Ciel whines when Sebastian pulls away, and his hands fly out to catch the older man and bring him back down to his level. He is ignored, the red-eyed male intent on finding the bottle of lube they keep in the bedroom. Soon, Sebastian is back by Ciel's side, and a slick finger is inserted into his entrance.
Ciel lets out a cry, his fingers clutching the sheets tightly. His vision bleeds white as Sebastian attaches his mouth to his cock once more, his tongue pressing flat against the underside. A second finger joins the first, and both begin poking and probing for that spot deep inside of him.
Sebastian forces his gag reflex down when Ciel's hips buck as Sebastian's fingers rub against his prostate. Relaxing his jaw enables him to take more of Ciel's length into his mouth until the tip touches the back of his throat. His free hand comes up to play with his balls, cupping them in his fingers.
Ciel moans as he's allowed to thrust lightly, his hips jerking as his prostate is stimulated again. "S-Sebastian," he gasps out, tilting his head back.
Sebastian groans, feeling the urge to bury himself deep inside his lover. He removes his fingers and mouth, much to Ciel's displeasure. "On your hands and knees," Sebastian pants as he begins to rub some lube onto his erection.
Ciel hesitates for only a second before rolling over. He winces as he puts pressure on his bad knee, but merely bites his lip and shifts to alleviate some of his weight to his other knee. He feels Sebastian's body drape over him and discovers that he can't hold the older man's weight like he could before the accident, especially since he's trying to keep from using his injured leg. Arms shake and tremble as they struggle to keep him up.
Sebastian can feel his lover quivering beneath him and immediately backs up. "Ciel? What's wrong?" Red eyes scan over Ciel before coming to rest on his right leg. "Shit." He carefully lowers Ciel to the bed so that he's facing Sebastian. In the heat of the moment, he has forgotten about Ciel's injury that makes it difficult to have sex in different positions, such as on all fours or even with Ciel riding Sebastian. "I'm sorry."
"It's not your fault." Ciel shakes his head and sighs. "I'll just have to get used to not having full use of my- Hey!" He yelps, caught off guard as Sebastian lowers his mouth onto his cock. A low moan escapes his mouth, and blue eyes close in pleasure.
Sebastian maneuvers himself so that he's lying the opposite direction of Ciel. He presses his hips forward and is pleased when Ciel gets the hint and takes his length into his mouth. Sebastian dips his tongue into the slit, tasting the small drops of pre-cum that are beading at the tip. As always, Ciel tastes sweet, a testament to his love for sweet food.
Ciel slowly licks down Sebastian's length, tongue swirling around his balls as he lightly sucks on them. A hand languidly strokes his cock, thumb swiping away the pre-cum from the head before being replaced by a tongue and teeth.
Fingers slide up and down, aided by saliva and pre-cum. Ciel moans and thrusts lightly into Sebastian's mouth until the older man moves his hands to hold his hips still. Ciel swallows around Sebastian's length, and hums softly, the vibrations causing him to jerk.
Sebastian lets out a hiss, his teeth scraping against Ciel's cock as he pulls his mouth away slightly. His tongue swirls around the head, gathering up the milky substance weeping from the tip as a hand slides up to stroke Ciel's length.
Ciel lets out a cry as his orgasm hits, his seed spilling into Sebastian's mouth, who swallows everything. He pants heavily for a moment before returning his attention to his lover's length, which is still aching for release.
Sebastian groans as his lover sucks and licks before dragging his teeth over the tip. A harsh breath escapes his mouth, and he bucks his hips, searching for completion. A finger traces the vein on the underside while a tongue works at lapping up the pre-cum, and Sebastian can feel his insides tighten more before releasing. He comes with a low cry of Ciel's name, his body shaking from the force or the orgasm.
After the high from orgasm ebbs away, Sebastian moves around and pulls Ciel into his arms, resting his chin on his head. The silence stretches on until Ciel speaks.
"I've been thinking lately, and I really want to remember the past few months, Sebastian. I can't stand not knowing what happened during that time between you and me. I know that we have many years of memories before that, but it's just frustrating because I want to remember everything," Ciel confesses, eyes downcast. "Every touch, every kiss, every word. I don't feel complete without those memories."
Sebastian swallows hard, tugging Ciel to him. "Ciel, listen to me. I don't give a damn if you never regain those memories, and while I know it's upsetting for you, just focus on the good times we've shared. That's all that matters." He presses a sweet kiss to his lover's lips. "And if you're still upset, we can always create new memories, just like we did right now." He nips at Ciel's ear before nuzzling his neck.
Ciel gives a small laugh and tilts his head. "Mm. I wouldn't disagree with that. I'd love to stay in bed with you all day."
Sebastian's eyes sparkle with mischief. "Well, how about we spend the rest of today in bed? I don't have anything else planned, and I don't think you do, either..." He snaps his hips forward, drawing a low moan from Ciel as their hardening erections brush together.
"L-like I said before, I'm not going to disagree," Ciel replies, running his tongue down Sebastian's neck.
Sebastian chuckles before rolling over on top of Ciel. The younger male is already prepared, and with a small groan, he pushes himself inside of him, intent on making this a night to remember.
January 7, 2011 - 10:52 AM
The ringing cell phone breaks the silence surrounding Sebastian as he relaxes on the couch, reading the newspaper. He lowers the paper, glaring at the offending phone before promptly ignoring it. It's his day off and he plans to enjoy it.
But then he remembers that a few of his coworkers had either quit or been fired recently, and therefore the pharmacy was understaffed at times. With a heavy sigh, and knowing that he will regret it later, he grabs the phone and answers it. "Hello?"
"Hey. It's been a while."
The red-eyed man freezes for just a second, his mind whirling, before he manages to calmly reply. "Yes, it has been."
"Haven't seen you at work recently, but when I asked, I was told you hadn't quit. Are you avoiding me?"
"I just took a different shift," Sebastian says. "I'm taking care of my boy-...someone," he finishes lamely.
"Ah, that's right. I heard about the accident. How's he doing?"
"Fine. He's recovering well, and the doctors are pleased with his progress." Sebastian stretches out on the couch, rolling his neck to alleviate the stiffness.
"That's good. I'm confused about one thing, though. I could have sworn that after the incident a few months ago, the two of you had-"
"Yes, we did," Sebastian interrupts with a scowl. "Although I don't see how it's any of your business."
"I'd have to disagree with you there, but what happened to change that?"
Sebastian doesn't speak for a few moments as he tries to find the right words to say. "He doesn't remember it."
There is silence on the other end, before, "You at least told him about it, though, right?"
Sebastian sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "No, I haven't told him yet."
"Are you crazy? You need to tell him, Sebastian. Otherwise, he'll find out on his own and I don't think he'll be too happy."
"He hasn't had any flashbacks at all. I've talked to some doctors, and they said that sometimes memories never come back. If that happens, then everything will be fine," Sebastian argues.
"Oh? So if he never regains his memories, then you're just going to keep on living your life like nothing happened? You won't ever feel guilty for living a lie?"
Sebastian pauses. He already feels bad for deceiving Ciel, but what else can he do? "I can't tell Ciel now. I'm in too deep. If the truth were to be known, he'd end up hating me again. And I don't want that to happen."
"This is going to come and bite you in the ass, you know."
"I realize that," Sebastian says slowly.
"And yet you're continuing with it anyway? You're an idiot."
Sebastian is about to reply when Ciel limps into the room, and he frowns. "Hey, I've got to go. I'll talk to you later."
"All right. But don't forget what I said."
"I won't. Goodbye." And with that, Sebastian hits the 'end call' button and places the phone back on the coffee table. "Take your medicine."
Ciel shakes his head. "I'm fine, Sebastian."
"You keep telling me that, but I'm finding it rather hard to believe. You're having difficulty sleeping, and now you can't even walk. That's really doing fine, Ciel," Sebastian snorts.
Ciel bristles and glowers at him. "I can walk. It just hurts a little."
"And that's why I'm telling you to take your damn medicine. It will help you feel better."
"But I-" Ciel tries to say but is interrupted.
"Ciel, it is not a suggestion! Take. The damn. Medicine," Sebastian fairly growls.
Blue eyes blink and regard the older man. Sebastian has never spoken to him like that, and Ciel finds it oddly unnerving. Sebastian's behavior has been strange as of late; he seems to be secretive, and Ciel will often find Sebastian staring at him with an almost guilty look on his face. He frowns, unsure of what to make of it all but not knowing how to proceed from here.
Even though he wants to protest, he finally takes the medicine to appease Sebastian and keep the peace before sitting down next to him and cuddling close. "Who were you talking to before?" Ciel asks, cocking his head as he studies the older man.
"A coworker," Sebastian replies. "Nothing important, just work-related stuff."
A slow nod, and Ciel seems to be content, but he is actually filing away the information for later thought. He knows most, if not all, of Sebastian's coworkers at the pharmacy, and he doesn't know why Sebastian has not revealed the name.
Unless he has something to hide.
Ciel begins to frantically think about all of the coworkers, trying to identify one that might pose as a threat. The female staff are immediately discarded, since Sebastian has no interest in them. Most of the male staff are either married or in a relationship with a woman. The remaining few aren't Sebastian's type, except for-
Ciel suddenly freezes, and his bright blue eyes dim slightly. The room around him slowly fades out to black, replaced by a forgotten memory.
September 21, 2010 - 2:47 PM
Humming a cheerful tune, Ciel slipped the key into the lock and opened the front door, entering the house with his purchases. Tomorrow was Sebastian's birthday, and Ciel had, for once, managed to keep him from finding out about his surprise party. In years earlier, Ciel had had the party the day of Sebastian's birthday, but this year, he'd made arrangements to have the party a day early. The red-eyed male had no idea what was coming. Smiling broadly, Ciel set about decorating the place before Sebastian got home.
He had just begun to hang the streamers from the ceiling when he heard a noise come from the bedroom. He froze, instantly alert, and slipped down from the small stepladder he'd been perched on. Grabbing his cell phone, he dialed Sebastian's number. A second passed, then he heard it begin to ring from inside the house.
Ciel blinked. Sebastian was home? Sure enough, there were Sebastian's keys and phone on the coffee table. "Dammit," he swore softly, scowling. How was he supposed to hide it from Sebastian now?
With a sigh, he walked down the hallway towards the bedroom. He might as well see what Sebastian was up to. The thought that perhaps Sebastian was jacking off made Ciel smirk and wonder if the older male would allow Ciel to join in on the fun. Turning the knob, he pushed the door open and stepped into the room, a remark waiting on the tip of his tongue.
All words fled him at the sight that greeted him. He could only stare in horror as his blue eyes caught on Sebastian lying on the bed, head tossed back in pleasure while another male, whom he recognized as Sebastian's coworker Claude, rode him. A sick feeling welled up inside Ciel, and he pressed a hand to his mouth, struggling not to vomit.
His head spun. Sebastian. Cheating on him? It couldn't be possible. And yet, as he lifted his gaze back to the bed, that's what he saw. Only now, instead of the red eyes being closed, they were open and staring right at him.
"C-Ciel?" Sebastian stammered as he swallowed thickly. "Wh-what are you doing home?"
"I was getting ready for your surprise birthday party, but I guess I'm the one who got the surprise," Ciel spat out, anger and hurt flickering in his eyes.
Sebastian glanced at the male who was currently sitting on top of him as he thought about what to do. He wasn't entirely sure of what was going on. Everything seemed so hazy. Should he move or should he stay in his current position? He shifted slightly and had to bite back a moan, but he managed to shove Claude off. "Ciel, wait a minute. Please."
If looks could kill, then the icy glare that Ciel threw at Sebastian would have been overkill. "I'll be in the hallway. Come out when you're decent." He shakily moved out of the room, slamming the door shut behind him. He leaned against the wall and squeezed his eyes closed as hot tears pressed against his eyelids. He wouldn't cry.
From inside the room, he could hear harsh whispers. It was the worst feeling ever, catching your lover screwing someone else. After what seemed like an eternity, the door opened and Sebastian stood there.
Red eyes glanced over at Ciel, and Sebastian was about to say something but was interrupted as a hand shot out and hit his cheek. He gaped at Ciel, stunned that the younger male would actually slap him. "Ciel?"
"Why?" Ciel asked, his shoulders slumping. Fists clenched and shook as he resisted the urge to rail at Sebastian.
"I-I honestly don't know," Sebastian said lamely.
Ciel's gaze snapped up to meet Sebastian's. "You don't know?" He repeated.
"Ciel, listen to me. I have no idea what came over me. I hardly remember a thing before this," Sebastian tried to explain.
Ciel snorted. "Right. I'm sure that's the excuse everyone uses when they're caught cheating."
"I didn't mean to cheat, Ciel. I told you, I have no idea what happened. You have to believe me," Sebastian said, red eyes pleading as he held out a hand for Ciel.
A lump formed in Ciel's throat, making it nearly impossible to breathe. "No, I don't have to believe you. I trusted you, Sebastian. All those years ago, you said that it would always be me. So what changed?"
"Nothing changed. Ciel, I still love you. I swear." Sebastian was panicking. He felt like everything was spinning out of control and he had no way to stop it.
"You sure have a funny way of showing your love," Ciel whispered, blinking back the tears that threatened to blur his vision. "What happened to your promise that it would always be me? Am I suddenly not good enough or not enough for you?"
"No, Ciel, that's not it. I swear. It's still always you. If you would just listen to me, then-"
"Listen to you? Why? All you'll give me are these stupid excuses, and I don't want to hear them," Ciel spits out. "We're through."
Sebastian physically stumbled backwards, staring at Ciel in horror. "What?"
"You heard me. I'm done with this," Ciel said. He shook his head sadly. "I just can't believe that I bought all those lies. I guess I was just too blinded by love not to notice the truth."
"Ciel, they weren't lies. Just hear me out, okay?"
But Ciel was already halfway to the door. "I'll be back later to pick up my things," was the last thing he tossed over his shoulder before disappearing behind the closing door.
11:04 AM
The flashback ends just as soon as it had started. Ciel is left in shock, his whole body trembling as he stares straight ahead.
"Ciel?" Sebastian becomes concerned and quickly pulls him closer, pressing his hands to Ciel's cheeks. "Hey, come on. Snap out of it, Ciel." He is unsure of what to do. It's apparent that Ciel has had a flashback, but of what, he isn't sure. The car accident? Or something else entirely?
Tear filled blue eyes turn towards Sebastian. "We're not dating," he says quietly.
Sebastian's heart plummets to his toes. "What do you mean? Of course we're dating."
"No, we're not. I broke up with you before my accident." Realization dawns on Ciel, and he jerks. "You knew. You knew that I had amnesia, that I had forgotten what had happened between us. That's why you asked me what the date was when I woke up."
"I had to make sure that my suspicions were correct, Ciel. That was the only way I knew to check to see if your memories were intact or not," Sebastian explains.
"You lied to me!" Ciel shrieks, his eyes stinging with hot tears.
"I didn't lie to you," Sebastian attempts to console him, but Ciel isn't having any of that.
"Don't touch me," Ciel seethes as he pushes Sebastian's hand away. He jumps to his feet and retreats a few steps backwards, distancing himself from Sebastian. Wrapping his arms around himself, he tries to make sense of this all. Sebastian has led him to believe that they were still together and their relationship was strong, while in reality, Ciel has actually broken up with him. He glances at the older man, a tear falling down his cheek. "You took advantage of my amnesia, Sebastian. You betrayed my trust. Again."
Sebastian feels his heart break, and he desperately searches for some way to salvage the situation. "You're right. I did take advantage of that, and I'm sorry. I just... I never wanted to lose you in the first place. And I never meant to cheat on you, either. I just wanted you back, and-"
"And you thought that lying about it would do the job, is that it?" Ciel snaps. "How can I trust you? How do I know that you weren't sneaking behind my back with whatever his name is?"
"Claude," Sebastian says, then winces when Ciel snarls. "Look, Ciel, it's not what you think."
"Not what I think?" Ciel rages. "You don't tell me that we broke up because I caught you cheating on me, and you have the nerve to tell me that it's not what I think?"
Sebastian realizes that the situation has gone to hell and most likely will not get any better. "Please, Ciel, just calm down. We can talk about this, and-"
Ciel shakes his head as he backs up, tears in his eyes. "I can't... I can't do this, Sebastian. I'm sorry. But I have to leave now." He quickly turns and heads out, pausing when he gets to the doorway. "I'll be back for my things tomorrow after you leave for work." And then he is gone, leaving Sebastian standing there in the middle of the living room, arm outstretched and the words 'I'm sorry. I love you' on the tip of his tongue.
January 8, 2011 - 9:28 AM
The next day, Ciel arrives at Sebastian's house to find that all of his things are neatly packed away in his bags. He has difficulty carrying his bags to the car, though. His leg is bothering him, which makes it hard for him to go up and down the front steps. By the time he is done, he's in pain and his leg is cramping, protesting the overuse. He gets into the car and stares blankly at the house.
This is the second time he's driven away from his life with Sebastian, and as his chest tightens, he knows it will be his last. Thinking about the older male and what he has done makes moisture spring to his blue eyes once more. He rests his forehead on the steering wheel and sobs. Ciel feels so used and betrayed, and he isn't sure how much more of this he can take.
His tears dry after a few minutes, and he puts the car in reverse, backs out of the driveway, and speeds away without another glance.
January 16, 2011 - 6:19 PM
Sebastian puts the leftovers into the fridge and sighs. He isn't hungry again, and hasn't been since Ciel left a week ago. He blinks, hardly able to believe that it's only been a week. It seems like much longer, he concludes as he begins to wash the dishes.
It's so quiet. There's no laughter, no teasing, no love-making. There's only Sebastian, left alone with his guilt and regret. Reflecting back, he knows now that it was indeed a stupid move to have kept Ciel in the dark concerning their relationship. He'd only been thinking about himself and his feelings, neglecting to think about the man he claims to love. He really has no one else to blame for his predicament but himself. He has brought it upon himself, and now he has to live with it.
Closing his eyes, Sebastian leans against the counter, shoulders slumped and head lowered. He wishes that he can go back in time and fix what has happened, even though he knows that it is useless. The past cannot be undone, and the only thing that Sebastian can do is try to move on.
He doesn't want to move on, though, and that's what will make it so hard. He wants Ciel by his side. No one else will do. Ciel is the only person that he has ever truly loved, and now that he is gone, there is a void in Sebastian's life that will go unfilled.
"Shit!" The expletive is accompanied by the sound of breaking glass, and Sebastian stares at the cup that is now shattered across the room. He runs a hand down his face before shuffling over to the closet to retrieve the broom and dustpan, then sweeps the mess up.
The buzz of the doorbell captures his attention, and Sebastian quickly throws away the broken glass before walking over to the door. He opens the door and is surprised to see Ciel standing there. "Ciel?" He asks cautiously. "Why are you here? Did you forget something?" It is the only reason he can think of as to why he is there.
Ciel is staring intently at his feet, a frown present on his face. "May I come in?"
Sebastian, although confused, doesn't hesitate and simply swings the door open wider for Ciel. "Have a seat on the couch. Do you want something to drink?" At the shake of the younger man's head, Sebastian sits down on the chair opposite the couch, watching Ciel twist his hands together nervously.
"I miss you."
The confession is so soft, Sebastian has difficulty in determining whether he actually heard those three words or if he imagined them. He stays silent, waiting for Ciel to speak more.
"I remembered something else yesterday," Ciel continues quietly. His gaze remains focused on his folded hands. "I was on my way over to see you when I was in the accident. I wanted to apologize for acting so rashly. I should have listened to you and tried to work things out calmly instead of reacting the way I had."
Sebastian's heart speeds up as he stares at Ciel. He dares not to move or breathe lest he wake up from this dream.
"Dr. Spears said that my amnesia was a result of my brain attempting to forget the painful memory of our break-up. Since I had been on my way over to see you, it was only that much easier." Ciel utters a soft laugh. "I was an idiot, Sebastian. I flew into a rage and made assumptions without knowing the facts. Of course, the evidence was rather damning, though. "But I'm going to ask you something that I should have you asked you months ago." He glances up at the red-eyed man. "What the hell happened?"
Sebastian's tense muscles relax, and he closes his eyes in relief as he can finally share the truth. "One of the drugs that Claude was working on got crushed, and I went over to help him get it all cleaned up. I suppose that we both ended up inhaling it, because that's the last clear memory I have. After that, it's all blurry until you showed up," Sebastian says softly. "Whatever happened between me and Claude, Ciel, was an accident. It was honestly the first and last time something like that happened."
Ciel gazes into Sebastian's eyes and knows that he speaks the truth. There is anguish in those red orbs, and any doubt that Ciel has now flees. "Sebastian," he whispers, bringing a hand up to cup his cheek. He leans forward and connects their lips.
For the first time in a long time, Sebastian feels complete. His arms loop around Ciel's waist as he draws him even closer. Their mouths meld together and their tongues tangle, but soon they have to part for air, which they do so reluctantly. Sebastian rests his forehead against Ciel's, and they stare at each other with soft smiles on their faces.
"I love you, and only you," Sebastian whispers. "It will always be you."
"Forever?" Ciel asks.
"Forever," Sebastian echoes.
Ciel closes his eyes and presses closer to the older man, breathing in his scent. He is content to just stand there, wrapped in Sebastian's strong arms and the knowledge that Sebastian belongs only to him, and he to Sebastian.