4: Mixed Doubles
When you tell someone you plan on doing something, you are bound by your honor to do it. However, not everyone has a deep enough sense of honor in order to follow through. This honor can stem from a respect of the person you've told you would do something for, or in this case, a great affection.
It had been a week since Kyle had run into Nate, had seen Cassidy's face at his window. At the time he had realized that something was coming up that he and Amanda were supposed to do, but he couldn't think of it at the time, and hadn't realized it until that morning when Amanda had come to get him, despite the problems they were having in their relationship.
A charity tennis game that Amanda had wanted the two of us to partake in; I had never played the game before, but I knew enough of it to be able to take care of it. Racquets struck balls across the court, keeping inside of the lines to score, utilizing forehands, backhands, and volleys. The game seemed simple overall, but nothing was ever simple.
When Amanda and I got back together, she had already signed up for this, for a charity for terminal children in the hospitals, trying to raise money to help them. Of course I agreed to play and help her out, as she needed a partner and didn't want a random one who might not share her vision, but might be there for just the game, as charity is more important than any individual's wants or needs, in some respects.
She had said she had done this in the past, and had found those who didn't care for the charities, but rather the event itself, the game that was involved, or something of the sort. They were indeed around. Even now, even as Amanda and I aren't doing the best, she still wants me, and I still want to help her. I would do it no matter what, if only to make her happy with the charity. Her happiness is the most important thing to me, right now.
The two walked around for a bit before finding the court they were supposed to play their first game on. They had spoken little so far, other than the conventional greetings, a quick kiss that felt awkward on both ends, and very little conversation, mostly about the game. As Amanda was getting a racquet out of her bag, Kyle turned, seeing Jessi, "What's Jessi doing here?" he wondered aloud.
"Jessi's here?" questioned Amanda, looking back, seeing Jessi. She feared for a moment that she was there for Kyle, but dismissed the thought. Even though they weren't doing well at the moment due to his secret keeping, she was with Kyle, and planned on staying with him. Jessi wanted him too, however, but she would stay Jessi's hand as long as she could.
Kyle took his racquet from his bag and followed Amanda to the court, as their first game was about to begin. It wasn't about winning; it was about participating, doing their best to raise money by playing.
"How good are you?" Amanda asked him without any worry; it was all for fun, anyway.
"Never played," Kyle said, "I told you that when I signed up for you."
"You haven't practiced yet?" she asked him, kind of annoyed by the look of it.
"I haven't had the time," he replied. With Latnok and Cassidy, he really hadn't had time to worry about something like this.
"Well, it's all for charity and fun anyway," she told him, smiling, "We'll be fine."
Kyle felt the game as it started. Just like when he had started playing basketball a few years ago, he was excelling here. He knew what he was doing; his body was fast and able, able to reach the ball as it bounced to the other side of the court. He would return the volley quickly, performing quick calculations, determining how much force to deliver, where to aim it, and exactly where it would land and how it would react on the other side of the court.
When it was his time to serve, it would be an ace; they would have no chance to return. He knew that wasn't the point of a charity game, so he toned it down, making it easier to return, making the game more fair, which seemed to appease Amanda by the look on her face.
Regardless, even toning his play down, they still won. Either they had already gotten a good start with Kyle's play, or he and Amanda were just better in general than the other pair of doubles.
Kyle felt it was the former; and he felt a bit ashamed for their win as a result.
The game lasted three sets, about half an hour in total. When it was over, Kyle followed Amanda off the court, both of them rather quiet in the awkward situation they had found themselves in.
For the past week, they had had minimal interaction, and that interaction was rather awkward. This seemed to be no different.
"You played well," Kyle told her after some silence, "I think better than the other team."
"Thank you, so did you," she said, "Though I don't need to tell you that. Just try to keep it under control from now on, ok?" Her words at the end held no bitterness, but Kyle detected a bit of an edge in those words, as if she were annoyed by his abilities, despite loving presumably everything about him, or so she had once told him, abilities and all. But this was charity, she had a right to feel that way right now.
"I'll do my best," Kyle told her. He saw Jessi walking around, nobody with her. Everybody had a partner with them, but not Jessi. Kyle remembered Amanda saying that you were given a partner if you didn't have one, hence her desire to have him. He wondered who Jessi would end up with as her partner.
After walking past and briefly watching some of the other games, Jessi ended up with Amanda and Kyle, walking with them. Amanda held dignified silence, and Kyle didn't want to seem rude, so he spoke, "Jessi, what are you doing here?" Though, he felt that might have come off a bit rude, too.
"Well, I figured that if you're doing this, then why shouldn't I?"
"It's not a game to see who's a better player," he told her, "Competition isn't the point."
"Jessi, if you're here for competition, you're not really going to find it," Amanda said bitterly, annoyed that Jessi wanted to ruin something like charity for her own amusement, for the sake of play. She was now one of those people that Amanda hated at these events.
"And you think I can only be interested in being the best?" she demanded of them, "No, I'm here for the same reason you are. Charity. If you can be good and do this, then so can I."
"I don't believe that," Amanda told her. Jessi said nothing back.
"You're here alone," Kyle said, stating the obvious, changing the subject before Amanda and Jessi really got into it, "Do you have a partner?"
"I'm waiting to meet my partner at the start of my game in a few minutes," she said, "It'll be announced then."
"Good luck," Kyle said.
"Try not to overuse your abilities," Amanda warned her, "These are for fun; not competition."
"I'll do my best," she said mockingly, clearly not caring. She wanted to win, as was who she was, but she would regard Amanda's words and listen to them as best as she could, for no sake other than Kyle's, who would want her to do as Amanda had said. Even though she had implied and pretty much said she was there for competition, she really would try her best to keep herself under control. She had seen his game, after all, and had seen the change in it. From being undefeatable to being a normal player.
After a few minutes Jessi left them, heading to her game.
"Should we go watch?" Kyle asked.
"I want to see if she actually plays fairly," Amanda said.
"You don't think she will?"
"What do you think, Kyle? She's not the type who would, do you think?"
"No, not really." Kyle hated to have to say that, but he knew that Jessi probably wouldn't keep her game under control.
Wondering who Jessi's partner would be, both of them went over to watch. There was a tournament setup to these games, so they may have to play her eventually, especially considering she probably wouldn't play completely fairly. Unless they got knocked out quickly, in which case they would likely avoid her.
When she walked onto the court with her racquet, Kyle and Amanda watched from outside the chain link walls around the set of three courts side by side. She waited while her two opponents were on the other side, waiting.
"I think her partner isn't showing up," Amanda said, "Good for him, or her. Who would want to play with Jessi?"
"Just because the partner is late?" Kyle asked, looking at his watch, "A minute late."
"Just wait," she said, "I'm sure he won't show up if he's a minute late already."
Kyle noticed that Amanda was pretty bitter when talking about Jessi, when talking about anything having to do with Jessi. Sure, the two had bonded a bit when breaking into Nate's apartment, but now it was over. There were problems with Kyle and Amanda, and Jessi wasn't making things better. Anger and annoyance were being misplaced into this situation from other situations, now.
As two minutes came and went, the partner still hadn't shown up. In another half a minute they heard the door swinging shut as someone walked through it. Kyle, Amanda, Jessi, and the other two players looked back to see the person who was Jessi's partner.
"Sorry I'm late, Jessi," he said smoothly.
"Cassidy!" Jessi hissed.
He gave her a sly smile, "Come on, Jess, no need for hostility. Now, let's see how you play against these two," he said, holding up his racquet by the butt end, spinning it around his palm by twirling it with his fingers, "I love the game; I'm sure you'll also do very well. Just don't…overdo it. I want to see you play as you."
"How I play will be me," she growled, "The me that I want to show."
"As you, not as the...," he shook his head, "I want to see you play as Jessi, not as 781228," he explained, putting it in terms she would hopefully have nothing to complain on.
"Jessi and 781228 are the same," she said.
"Why do I even try?" he asked, "Just play fairly," he finished, ending their whispering. He walked to his spot as the serve came from the other side.
Three sets, Jessi and Cassidy won them all, the game taking about half an hour in total with their breaks. During the game Amanda and Kyle whispered to each other.
"Is she using her abilities? I can't tell," Amanda said to Kyle.
"I don't know," he replied, "I hope she isn't."
"You think she's that good?" asked Amanda.
"She could very well be," Kyle said, though he had never heard any interest from Jessi in the game, or anything about the game at all. So he was feeling as though she probably was using her abilities. He was actually more interested in Cassidy than Jessi.
Jessi was actually playing with a mix of her skill and as a normal girl, while Cassidy proved just how good he truly was. The game had been a stalemate for some time, as the other two were also very good, but not good enough.
When they came off the courts, Kyle approached Cassidy, "What are you doing here?" he shouted in demand.
"Keep your voice down, Kyle," Cassidy told him, "Don't want to attract a crowd, brother."
"I'm not your brother!" he hissed.
"Dispute it all you like; blood is blood, no matter how thin," Cassidy stated, "Now, the reason I'm here, right? I already said, I love the game."
"Is that it?" Kyle demanded, "I don't believe that."
"That's it," he replied, brushing past Kyle, "Later, mate."
"Kyle, maybe he is here just for the charity, or the game," Amanda said, trying to calm Kyle down. His rage was fairly visible at the moment, and she didn't like seeing him like this.
"No; I don't think so," Kyle said, "He's here for another reason. I have no doubt about that."
Cassidy, Kyle, Jessi and Amanda were all there. Kyle didn't like that at all. Was he after Amanda? Trying to get Jessi to help him? Manipulate her? Get Kyle in on his plans?
What was he trying to do?
[Break]
"Up!" Foss shouted at Declan, who was climbing the wall again, this time he was using a different approach; the rocks were in different, harder and farther spaced locations, the rocks were a bit slipperier, and Declan was wearing weights with a time limit.
"Come on! You need to finish this training! This will harden your body; make you stronger. Kyle needs strong guardians! He needs strength in his life in order to protect him! Or do you plan on failing Kyle? Failing me? Are you only halfhearted in this, Declan?"
Declan was shouting, pulling himself up inch by inch, getting a little closer to the top. He gripped a stone, his hand slipping. He only held on with his left hand now, and only then with three fingers, trying to get his other finger and thumb around it. He kicked at the wall, his feet scrabbling for footholds.
"Come on! You have a minute left!" screamed Foss.
Declan shouted, pushing his all into it. He gripped the stones in both hands, found one foothold, and pushed up, reaching the next stones. His heart was pounding rapidly in his chest, his teeth gritted. His muscles were straining, but he was almost there!
And then he made it. He fell onto the top of the wall, just lying there, catching his breath, resting.
"Good job!" Foss shouted, actually congratulating him, "Get down here and you can rest!"
"I'd rest up here if you'd let me!" Declan shouted, "I'm already here, for one!"
"Too bad! Come down!" Foss shouted to him, though evidently happy that Declan had done it.
Declan picked himself up, forcing himself back over the edge, riding down. He unhooked the rope and collapsed, panting, his body aching.
"You did very well today," Foss told him.
"This is really the first time you've complimented me on my training and I've actually believed it," he admitted to Foss.
"You've come a long way, Declan," Foss told him, helping him get his gear off, "As soon as you finish your marksmanship, I figure you'll be ready."
"I'd rather not have a gun," Declan told him, "Nothing but trouble. Besides, I don't think I could use it when the time comes."
"When I was in Iraq, I always thought to shoot at the uniform, at the idea of what the enemy should look like. It was always hard to shoot someone not looking like you thought the enemy would look. They looked too human to shoot. No matter the situation you encounter, Declan, the enemy will look too human to you."
"I don't think I'd be able to shoot regardless," he admitted to Foss.
"In the heat of the moment, defending your life and the lives entrusted to you, you can pull the trigger," Foss told him.
"You had to?"
"Yeah. It's hard, but it's worth defending those you care about."
"Do you know where Kyle is today?" Declan asked him.
Foss nodded, "Yeah, a charity tennis game with Amanda. It's my job to know where he is. Didn't you know? You should start learning where he's going to be without having to ask him; learn without asking, learn on your own. That's something you'll have to start doing now."
"Yeah, I'll start on that," Declan said. He noticed something off about Foss's voice when he had mentioned a charity tennis game, "Is…is something wrong about Kyle going to that game?" he questioned Foss.
"It just got me thinking," Foss replied to him, remaining vague, as if hoping that Declan wouldn't ask, even though he knew the younger man would ask him.
"What were you thinking about?" he questioned.
"Adam Baylin," he replied, "Kyle doing this…it reminds me of Adam, of a story he told me from when he was younger."
"What are you talking about?" Declan asked.
"Adam once told me that he had gone and participated in a charity tennis game, as he had enjoyed the sport, and he wanted to help out the charity. He had a girlfriend at the time, and she had been there with him. It wasn't doubles; it was singles, so she watched him as he played.
"However, Sarah was there as well, and she had a boyfriend. They were both playing, both were very good. Adam wasn't so good, but he was better than those he had been playing, at the very least.
"Eventually he ended up playing against Sarah, who was much better than him. When they played, Adam couldn't do anything, and he lost. But…during their game, there was something that had happened between them. This was their first meeting, and they ended up talking, and they left together, ignoring their significant others. Adam abandoned his girlfriend and Sarah her boyfriend. They didn't start dating yet, but it was obvious where things were going."
"Were you there, or something? How do you know some of these details? I don't think Adam would have told you that it was obvious, considering that seems like something from an outside perspective." He stopped for a moment, "You weren't the boyfriend, were you?"
Foss had a shallow, dry laugh, "No. I wasn't, nor was I there. Adam actually told me those details as well." He shook his head, then he continued, "I know that Kyle just got back together with Amanda, and you told me they were already having trouble with Kyle's secrets about Latnok. I'm wondering if this can't pull them closer together, if Kyle is enough like Baylin to end up fixing it."
"Baylin left his girlfriend," Declan pointed out.
"But there's nobody there to be Kyle's Sarah," Foss said, "I would assume."
"There's Jessi," Declan said.
"I doubt she's there," Foss replied, "Or that history actually will repeat itself."
[Break]
"Why are you my partner?" Jessi demanded, grabbing Cassidy by his collar and pushing him against a wall behind a locker room.
"I was randomly given to be your partner," Cassidy told her, "Luck of the draw, that's all." He pushed at her hands, but couldn't break her grip, "Would you mind releasing me, partner?"
"You're doing this for a reason," Jessi growled, slamming him against the wall, "I'm not your partner," she hissed, then added, "Tell me why! If you don't, I'll get angry; when I get angry, I start hurting people."
"I'm serious; it was just luck that we got drawn together," Cassidy told her, "And like it or not, we are partners."
"Luck for who?" she demanded, releasing him.
He smoothed out his shirt, "You, for having a good partner, me for having someone to talk to."
"Talk about what? I won't betray Kyle."
"I don't want you to," he told her, "Just tell me something. How much do you know about the babies?"
"You were going to sell them to the highest bidder," she growled, "Make them into a profitable slave force, or something like that. That's what I know, and I don't care that you know. We know who you were lining up as buyers; we know how much they were going to pay. We don't know why they wanted them, but it isn't for anything good, we can imagine."
"You keep using 'we', as in you and Kyle, correct?"
"That's all you get."
"Fine, fine," he replied, "All I need to know." He walked off, giving a wave backwards towards her before thrusting his hands into his pockets and turning the corner, back to the courts.
[Break]
As the day went on, the remaining duos were becoming fewer and fewer. Declan got away from Foss and went to watch, stating he would watch over Kyle during this, and that it might do Kyle some good to have someone else to think about, rather than just Amanda and their problems.
Meanwhile, Kyle and Amanda were having some problems. Talking about Jessi, theorizing about her purpose, as it was something they kept bringing up inadvertently, and arguing over. They were trying to make things work out a bit better, but they kept coming back to the old issues of Jessi knowing – despite Amanda recognizing her as someone like Kyle – and Amanda being left in the dark, and that Kyle evidently didn't want the relationship to work out, if he was keeping things secret. This had been going on through the entire day from Jessi's first game up until now.
However, before Declan could go up to Kyle and talk to him after finding him, a game was starting. Declan went and sat down a bit away, pulling out his phone and making a call.
"Jackie, pick up," he said, "Come on! I've been getting your voicemail for weeks! What, you don't like me anymore? Just call me, please." He wasn't going to worry; she could get distracted with work, he knew that. He had heard that Lori hadn't gotten in touch with Mark for a while, but told her not to worry about that, either. He knew there were things to worry about; however, he just didn't want to think about them.
After all, Nate and Cassidy were still around. He had been to the UW, seen other Latnok students. Was it just friends of Kyle's friends who were being targeted by Latnok, perhaps? Was this about Kyle, or coincidence that neither had been picking up recently?
Declan looked around the people going about their days here, watching the various games being played. He saw Jessi and Cassidy playing as a team in one court, shocked that Jessi was even there, let alone playing with Cassidy as her partner. He started to worry about Kyle, about what Foss had commented on history repeating.
He prayed that Kyle would make the right choice. That if history was meant to repeat, that Amanda wouldn't be hurt by this. He knew that Kyle would do anything for Amanda, and had just gotten her back. Even though they had a rough patch, he knew Kyle would do anything to make it work out, other than expose her to the dangers of Latnok.
He just prayed he wouldn't hurt her more by falling for Jessi, as Adam had fallen for Sarah at an event just like this one.
Declan then took another glance around, catching sight of Nate, making his way towards a locker room. He had just seen Kyle leaving it to go into the court. He figured that the players kept things in there while carrying their bag and racquets with them to the courts, while clothes and everything else was in the lockers.
Why would Nate go there? He wasn't playing, by the look of him. He was getting in the way again, wasn't he? Declan got up and ran towards the locker room, slipping inside, following behind Nate as the man went towards a locker and started to try the padlock, trying different number combinations, but not getting anything.
"Cracking that code a bit too hard, Latnok boy?" questioned Declan from behind, "Let me guess; it's because it's not a computer, right?"
Nate turned around, "What are you doing here?" He didn't speak of Declan's shot at him of being a computer geek or anything, because Nate didn't care. He knew he wasn't; he was valuable, and he wouldn't let that eat at him. After all, it was a worthless insult by someone who wouldn't get the better of him again.
"Whose locker is that? Or do I even have to ask? Kyle's, isn't it?"
"What do you care?"
"You really don't understand friendship, do you?" Declan questioned.
After his long training with Foss, Declan was ready for just about anything. When Nate reached into his pocket, no doubt for his electrical weapon, Declan was just as fast, if not faster. He confirmed he was faster when he drew first, drawing the handgun Foss had licensed to him from his jacket, pulling it up on Nate, stopping him from completing his draw.
"Put it down," Declan threatened.
"You won't shoot me," Nate said without a hint of worry, hand still in pocket, "I know you won't. Not with all these people around, not with your self-righteous attitude. You're not a murderer, are you?"
"I'm Kyle's guardian," Declan said, "I'll do what I must to protect him."
"You don't even know if I was after him, so this could be for nothing, you know."
"I have no doubt you're after him with some plot," Declan said, "Hence your entire point for being here, and possibly Cassidy's as well. Now, remove your hand from your pocket, leave the weapon inside."
"Why are you willing to give your freedom for Kyle?" Nate demanded, "I just don't get it."
"Because I'm his friend. This is what friends do for each other. Kyle protects the people he loves; and that's very admirable. I want to do the same, so I'm protecting him so he can continue to protect those he loves, those who are his friends, his family. I can't do the things he can, so I'm just giving him more time and freedom to continue on his own way."
"I see," Nate said, "Do you have the ability to shoot me?"
"No," Declan easily admitted, "But I will stop you no matter what."
Nate removed his hand, revealing that he had left the weapon in his pocket, "Go," Declan said, pushing him towards the door. He put his gun in his jacket, keeping it out of sight. Even with a concealed weapons license, he didn't like to let anyone see it. He pushed Nate again, "Stay away from Kyle, Amanda, and Jessi. Just stay away, or you'll pay."
Nate walked off, seemingly heeding Declan's words.
[Break]
After a few more matches, the finals were up. Kyle and Amanda had had some difficulty holding normal conversations with each other, as they always went to Jessi or Latnok and the secrets. During these conversations, as they walked, Kyle was also haunted by Cassidy's face every time he saw Cassidy or Jessi, keeping him quiet about the incident where he had seen Cassidy, and also holding his tongue from completely talking about Latnok. As far as he was concerned, Latnok and Cassidy were the same; the quieter that was kept, the better for his emotional and mental state. Amanda didn't realize what it did to him, bringing it up.
They had continued to win, but at this point the games were harder. Kyle played completely fairly, and their wins were only out of luck sometimes. None the less, like Jessi and Cassidy, they had reached the finals. Kyle almost wondered if Cassidy hadn't had some part to play in this, such as paying off the other teams, or something like that.
"We get ten minutes for a break," Amanda told Kyle, "I'm going to the girl's locker room until the game," she said.
"I need to go to the boy's locker room," Kyle said, parting ways with her. He had only gone because Cassidy had gone inside. He needed to see the man before they played their game, or he would certainly be unable to play properly.
As Kyle walked in, he went into the bathroom, where he figured Cassidy was, as he wasn't in any of the main locker room.
"Kyle, what do you need?" Cassidy asked, lifting his dripping face from the sink where he was splashing water up onto himself. He used a paper towel to dry his face while Kyle spoke to him.
"Were you at my house a week ago?" he demanded, "Spying on me in the rain?"
"No," Cassidy said quickly, simply. He was a good liar, Kyle decided, or he was truthful. It was hard to tell, "Why? You miss my face? Or did you hope that your big brother had come to see you?" he mocked a bit, playing with Kyle's emotional state, knowing that he would hate this.
"You're not my brother," Kyle growled.
"By blood, yes I am," Cassidy told him.
"Brothers and sisters are people who are there for each other. I'm Josh's and Lori's brother; we've had fights, we've had our problems, but we've had our moments. We've shared; loved, laughed, fought…that's what being a sibling is. Blood doesn't matter." Kyle said, reiterating Declan's points from weeks ago.
"Blood is all that matters, Kyle," Cassidy told him, "Are you trying to separate yourself from our mum? Is that it? Or from me? You can't outrun your family, Kyle. We are your blood family; the only ones you have left, now that Adam Baylin is dead and gone. We are your fate, your destiny, now, Kyle. Join us, and you'll understand that."
"I will never join Latnok," Kyle growled.
"Good; then it's my heritage," Cassidy said, "I don't have to share with my little brother. I don't understand how you would have gotten it in the first place; you're the younger brother. But now mum will be disappointed…"
"You're only the face; you've said as much yourself," Kyle told him, "What would you want with Latnok?"
"Power," Cassidy said, turning to completely face him, a grim smile setting in on his face, "Tell me…have you told that attractive little girl you're with anything yet? I know you haven't, because you want to keep her safe. But let me tell you something, Kyle. If it wasn't for mum, I would have our people going after her again, not as a test this time, but as a way to make you cooperate.
"Mum has a sense of honor that I don't quite understand, as it only comes up in this situation; but I would do whatever was needed for Latnok. I would grab that girl myself if I had to; I would torture her in front of you, rape her in front of you, if I had to, in order to get the secrets from your head. Will I have to do that, little brother? I'd sooner rape her, as much as I hate the prospect of the action."
Anger isn't something someone should embrace. Anger isn't a good emotion; it's volatile, disturbing, but it can feel good. Striking someone should never feel right, but at this moment, it did.
Cassidy hit the sink as Kyle punched him in the face. He gasped out and slid to the ground, nursing his cut cheek from where Kyle had punched him, "Can't believe you broke the skin on that one," Cassidy muttered, picking himself up and taking some toweling and turning on the sink to try to clean the cut.
Kyle walked away from him, leaving Cassidy in the silence to fix his cut. Kyle headed back to the courts, where Jessi waited. He had been surprised that Cassidy hadn't called out after him, said anything.
"You're going to lose," she told him, falling in beside him.
"I'm not in the mood, Jessi," Kyle told her darkly.
"What's wrong?" she questioned.
He looked back, Amanda was there. Cassidy followed close behind, eyeing Amanda, making sure that Kyle caught that. He knew what Cassidy would do if he were in charge of Latnok, and it made Kyle's blood boil. If Cassidy got his way, then Kyle had basically failed.
No matter what, he had to bring down Latnok, or Cassidy. Or did he have to accept that his fate was to lead Latnok? Mold it into something new? Then he would control Cassidy, or rather, those who controlled Cassidy. He broke off from Jessi, allowing her to walk to her end of the court.
"What happened to you?" Jessi asked Cassidy when he met up with her. A small smile played on her face at the sight of him.
"Nothing to worry about," Cassidy assured her.
"Kyle, wasn't it?"
"No; just slipped and hit myself on the sink," he replied.
"I saw Kyle follow you in," she told him.
"By sink I mean fist," Cassidy told her.
When Amanda and Kyle were beside each other, they said little, other than Amanda saying, "Do your best, but don't –,"
"I know," he replied, cutting her off, then he wished he had let her speak, rather than sound so rude and curt like he just had.
As the game began, it was a first poor start for Kyle. Every time he saw Cassidy, he saw that night a week ago, Cassidy's face appearing. He could hear his threats, his threats to torture and hurt Amanda. They were the most vivid threats, the most vivid imagery that unwillingly came to his head.
As the game continued, Kyle was basically useless. He had left Amanda to try on her own for the most part, and it wasn't working. Cassidy was too good, and even with Jessi playing as she would have if she weren't a prime example of a human, it was evident that Cassidy alone could beat them. Jessi was no longer contributing in comparison to their abilities.
She was like a candle to the roaring bonfire that he was in terms of skill.
"Game, set, match," was heard by Kyle after long moments of losing himself in thought, in anger, in pain. He looked at the scoreboard, scarcely realizing that Cassidy and Jessi had easily won.
"We played our best," Amanda told him, "I think you could have stepped your game up a bit during this one, even though Jessi wasn't. Just to try to match Cassidy a bit better. I mean, I wouldn't have minded, after what he did to you and your house."
"Amanda…I couldn't do anything," he admitted, "I…no, never mind."
"Kyle, tell me!" she urged as the spectators were leaving. They were alone on the court now, with only Declan nearby, Cassidy having left already, and Jessi about to leave, though Declan was unseen, and Jessi wasn't by the court, but could hear.
["Bent" by Matt Nathanson; ends at the next set of brackets: .com/watch?v=ZsSKidg84lg]
"Just like before…I can't tell you," he said, shaking his head, "As much as it hurts, I just can't tell you. There are two things," Kyle told her, "I can't tell you either."
"Then why even tell me that?" she questioned him.
"Because I want you to know how much pain I'm in. Amanda, I want to tell you everything I can. I know I'll lose you if I don't…but I can't put you in that danger."
"I won't be in danger, Kyle," she told him softly.
Cassidy's words flooded Kyle's mind: I would grab that girl myself if I had to; I would torture her in front of you, rape her in front of you, if I had to, in order to get the secrets from your head.
"Amanda, if I told you or not, you'd still be in danger. Cassidy told me as much. He would hurt you no matter what." It hurt Kyle to have to admit her danger, but he knew he had to. He hated not being able to tell her either way, but still believed she'd be better not knowing.
"If he told you, then tell me," she urged him, "If it doesn't matter, then let me know. You were withholding to protect me, weren't you?"
"I withheld to protect you, and shield you from the sins against humanity they were committing. I can't tell you. Even if you're not safe either way, I can't let you know about how dark this side of humanity is, Amanda."
"If you can't tell me anything…"
"Are you breaking up with me?" Kyle asked her, pain filling him, his breath catching in his throat, his heart beating faster with the urgency of what could happen.
"No. I don't want that. But…but I do want time apart from you, Kyle. I think we need time to ourselves. Maybe you'll come to tell me when we get back together; if we get back together. Kyle…we just need this time apart."
I knew the wisdom of her words. If we spent time apart to think as we had to, to think differently, we may reach conclusions about how to proceed with our relationship. I might realize in time that I had to tell Amanda, that she could handle it.
Or maybe I would realize that her soundness of mind over not knowing these atrocious sins that Latnok was committing was worth my not being happy. No matter what, I would have to focus on her, and these problems, over the time apart.
"If that's what you want…"
"It is."
"Then we'll spend some time apart," he said, hiding the pain.
Declan was nearby, keeping out of sight as Foss had taught him. He became shocked by their conversation. He shook his head, thinking about Foss's story, and that history could repeat itself.
"Please Kyle, figure something out," he muttered, finding that he was better off with Amanda than Jessi, "Don't fall into the same situation as your father."
Amanda and Kyle parted ways with a kiss, and both left. Declan watched as Amanda left, with Kyle just standing there. He may have been accepting of it, but he was obviously in shock.
Kyle looked down at the court, then lifted his head. He didn't watch Amanda leave; he just looked ahead, remaining standing there.
He may have been ok with parting ways, but clearly it still affected him deeply. He was losing the woman he loved, and even if he did something about it, it wouldn't do much good.
There was little he could do for her safety anymore. He had guardians, but could he be Amanda's guardian? He wondered…Latnok had managed to trap him into a role he was willing to play, and that he would be all the easier to get under control from.
I have people willing to protect me. I have Tom Foss, my friends, family, all of them willing to help me, willing to give for me. But…can I be that same man for Amanda? I'm the one who's important…is it my job to protect her? Yes. Yes it is. But something still doesn't feel right about all of this.
Latnok was winning, it seemed. He hated to think that, but knew it to be true.
[Song ends]