Sorry this one took longer to get up. I'm living at my cabin now instead of home while I'm in college, I've changed my schedules around so I don't stay up to write as much anymore because of early classes... This new computer is a bit difficult to type on, so there may be a few errors I missed, with spelling, or improper spacing, but I'm still getting used to it.

This is by far not my best work. I remember writing up the synopsis for this one months ago, when I was planning the season, and I dreaded this one. It's basically a four scene chapter, with three scenes being short. But I think the message that Kyle learns came out right, and the next two are going to be great. The two I've looked forward to writing the most are the final two. Hopefully I'll get the next one up in two or three days for you guys.

And one final thought; because it took so long, the final chapter titles are "Black on White" and "Unfinished Business".

8: Business as Usual

I was shaken by the appearance of Grace Kinglsy; my birth mother. At first I was shocked and feeling a series of negative emotions towards her appearance. Why should she come now? My suspicions were confirmed when she tried to recruit me into Latnok.

That woman may share blood with me. She and Cassidy may share blood with me, but that hardly makes them family. They are not my family, nor will they ever be. My family is the Tragers, with an extended family in their friends, who have also become my friends over the time I have been with them.

Declan is like a brother to me; a confidant, an ally. He has proven himself time and again for me, and is connected to me through Lori.

Andy isn't as close as Declan, but through her connection with Josh, and that she's helped me to put things into perspective with her cancer in the past, she is equal to a family member, if for no other reason than she makes Josh happy.

Hillary, through Lori, is harder to classify, but she is still a friend. She doesn't know much, nor does Andy, but as Lori's close friend, she counts, to me.

There's also Amanda and Jessi, but they don't apply in this situation. Amanda is through myself and Lori, while Jessi is through me, as the only person who can ever truly understand me, or so I sometimes tend to think, as she has stated in the past. Amanda is the one woman I hope to love for many years to come, but is hard to figure out, especially based on our current relationship stance.

There's one reason I think of this now. Grace Kingsly shook me by appearing, and now, to try to return things to normal, I'm with Lori, who by extent, brought Declan and Hillary with. And, perhaps out of boredom of not having Andy around, Josh is here with us. Perhaps this can settle my mind and bring things closer to normal.

"Where are we supposed to go anyway?" Josh complained, "I mean, with The Rack gone, where do we hang out?"

"We?" Hillary questioned him, "Well, the rest of us are going to find a place, but why are you here anyway?"

"Hillary," Declan told her sternly, having taken up a more protective stance as of late, for reasons that none of them really understood, "You kind of sound like a bitch saying that."

"Excuse me?" she yelled at him.

"I mean that in the kindest possible way," Declan stated with a hint of a smile.

"He's right, Hills," Lori said, "Even though I don't want Josh tagging along either…" She hoped he would get the hint. He didn't.

"Look, with Andy gone, and no job, I really don't have much to do," Josh told them.

"You could be playing your games," Lori told him, hoping to convince him to leave.

"Without Andy?"

"You're online; find her," his sister said.

"She told me she was grounded!" he said.

"If she's grounded, then how did she get you a message?" Kyle asked him.

"She managed to get it out before being grounded," Josh said, "So that's out of the question."

"Go make new online nerd friends," Lori told him.

"Andy is not a nerd!"

"But you don't defend anyone else?" Lori asked.

"Wha- Look! That's not the point," Josh said, "I'm just…sick of it. I need some human interaction."

"Don't get enough with yourse-" Lori was cut off.

"Shut up!" Josh shouted at her, "Or do you want me telling everyone here something that you wouldn't want anyone to know?"

"Come on, it's not like we can't figure it out that you do that," Hillary told him, "Though it's gross to think about."

"What secret could you possibly have about me?" Lori questioned him.

"You really don't want to find out," he said.

"Empty threat," Lori said.

"You know, I'm kind of interested," Declan said, smiling, hoping to provoke Lori into some interaction with him, since recently it had been getting less and less again, after having gone so well.

Kyle looked around them as they were all walking down the sidewalk, going from person to person as they spoke. Was this his normalcy? Was this his life? Yes, technically it was, but this wasn't the life that he usually had. Little of this really mattered in life, that they spoke about, but this was what he was getting. He preferred to talk about things that mattered, but just being with friends was enough.

"Maybe you should stop, Josh," Kyle said.

"What?" he asked, "Why?"

"Do you really want to make Lori mad?" he was sure that Josh had something, but didn't bother to try to tell if he was lying or not. Brothers and sisters usually fought like this, as far as Kyle knew, and sometimes it was a bluff, while just as many times it was the truth.

"What do I care if I make her mad?" he questioned Kyle.

Brothers and sisters – family – should try to keep a wellbeing amongst themselves. They shouldn't argue or fight like this. But then again, this is family; the fighting like this. But which type of family do should I support right now? Should I try to keep them in line, or should I let them go on like this, as siblings do?

"Josh, Kyle is wiser than we'll ever be," Declan said to the younger man, "Maybe he has a point."

"You're just siding with him because you're his friend," Josh said.

"Are we going to be childish like this?" Hillary complained, "That sounds like such a little kids excuse!"

Lori and Declan both gained smiles and bits of laughter, "Yeah, kind of does," Declan said.

"Fine!" Josh exclaimed, "I can see that I'm outnumbered here."

"Thank you for quieting down," Lori told him.

"Yeah, no problem Trager," Declan said. He shook his head, despite her not looking at him, "Sorry, I'm trying to stop."

"Well, at least you're trying," Lori said offhandedly.

"You think he can stop?" Hillary asked Lori.

While they talked about him, he hung back, getting towards Kyle, "So…you really want to stick around?" he asked Kyle quietly.

"I do," Kyle replied.

"Why? I mean, I wouldn't be here if I hadn't told Lori I would. Or if I wasn't someone to keep my word," Declan said.

Kyle couldn't tell him about Grace. He wasn't sure if Lori had told him, however. But he didn't want to tell Declan, worry him over anything he didn't need to be worried about. He hadn't even told Tom Foss about Grace's appearance.

"I just haven't been around all of you guys recently," Kyle said, "I like to be around all of you. All of my friends."

"You consider Hillary a friend?" he asked quietly.

Kyle looked to her, then back to Declan, "She's Lori's friend; that's what matters."

"I guess," Declan said, not really wanting to think about himself and Hillary, and the strange relationship that they had.

"What are ya talking about?" Josh asked them, hanging back so as not to be bored.

"Nothing really," Declan said.

"Friends," Kyle said, not caring if Josh knew, nor caring about what he would think, unlike Declan, who clearly cared for some reason.

"Friends?" Josh asked.

"Yeah," Kyle told him, "Why? Does that sound strange to you?"

"No," Josh said, "Because friends and family are basically a step away. Is that what you're thinking about?"

"What does he mean?" Declan asked Kyle.

I can't tell him about Grace Kingsly. He may be my close friend and confidant, but this is something I can't tell him. It's something to keep in the family. But Declan is like family, and family as much as the Tragers are. But I can't tell him.

"Nothing," Kyle lied, looking to Josh, "He doesn't mean anything."

"Yeah, that's right," Josh said, catching the hint.

"Whatever," Declan said.

Because of their lagging behind, Lori and Hillary turned to them, "What are you boys talking about that's so secretive?" Hillary questioned.

"Nothing," Declan said, "We're just not that interested in the latest gossip that you two are no doubt talking about."

"It's good, though!" Hillary defended. She was serious; they were talking about gossip, and she did think it was good.

"Yeah, to you two, maybe," Declan said, "We have our own things to talk about."

"You want to be a part of the conversation?" Lori asked him, "We can make you part." She looked to Hillary, "You want to do the honors here?"

"My pleasure," Hillary replied, "So, Josh. You're apparently not a virgin anymore; you really think anyone believes that?"

"Where did you even hear that?" Josh shouted, looking angrily at Lori, who shrugged innocently, "And how is that your business anyway?"

She ignored him, "Declan, how's that girl, Jackie?"

He didn't answer. Lori also felt a twinge in the pit of her stomach at the mention of Jackie. Not over Declan; she came to terms with her feelings with him, but over the inability to get in contact with Mark.

"Kyle, Amanda or Jessi?"

He looked down. She wasn't trying to get to him, she was just kind of annoyed by the three of them. She didn't mean anything by it, he told himself.

But yet he felt a lot of pain at that question. Which woman?

"Maybe I went too far," Hillary said quietly to Lori.

"Yeah, I think you did. But it seems to have helped a bit," Lori replied, "Well guys, sorry about that. Now, let's all talk again and I won't sick Hillary on you."

Kyle looked up at them as Josh and Declan went closer to the girls. He just said, "I don't know."

They looked back, "What?" Lori asked him.

"I answered Hillary's question," Kyle said, "I don't know which girl. I just don't, and I wish I did."

"That wasn't a serious question," Hillary told him.

"I know," Kyle said, "But still, it's a question I've needed to answer. I don't know…and I'm confused."

"I think he needs help," Hillary told Lori, though loudly enough for them all to hear.

"Not our kind of help," Lori told Hillary, "I don't think we could make it any better for him."

"Well, if it gets you two to stop annoying me, go for it," Josh said, looking to Declan, "You've been pretty cool so far today, you want to keep going?"

"Yeah, no offense, but we're not friends enough for me to," Declan said.

"Fine," Josh said, "I'll just go off on my own then."

"You do that," Declan said.

After a moment, Josh didn't go anywhere, "I was bluffing."

"I figured," Declan said, "We're the best you've got."

"Yeah…that's really sad," Josh muttered.

"Come and sit down," Hillary told Kyle, pulling him by his arm to the park that they were passing by, sitting him down at a picnic table, "Now, Hillary your problems."

"It's not really a problem," Kyle said, "I wasn't looking for advice."

"You were just speaking up, then?" she asked, and he nodded, "Well, too bad. I'm here to help you so you don't mope around."

"Was I moping?" he asked, confused.

"Not on the outside, but on the inside, I'm sure. And that still brings us all down," Hillary said.

"Hillary, just let Kyle figure this out himself. We've all accepted that for some time already," Lori told her.

"Well clearly he hasn't figured it out on his own yet," Hillary said, "So I have to help, since he can't do it alone. Now, tell me the problems."

"I don't really feel comfortable doing this," Kyle said, "I don't want to talk about them behind their backs, not like this."

"Well, too bad for them," Hillary said, "But I can promise you that they won't find out."

Kyle sighed, "Well…I'm in love with Amanda…"

"Stop right there," Hillary said, "You're in love. Is this real love, or just puppy love? Last I saw, I think its puppy."

"Does it matter?" Kyle asked, not too familiar with the term "puppy love", but he could get the gist of it.

"Yes, of course it matters!" Hillary told him as if he were stupid, "True, deep down love and innocent puppy love are two entirely different things. True love can be passionate, reckless…dangerous, dirty. Puppy love is pure, innocent, it doesn't go very far."

Kyle thought about both women. By the way Hillary explained it, his love for Amanda was puppy love, while with Jessi, it was true love. If Hillary was any expert to go by.

He hoped she wasn't, while at the same time he hoped she was, confusing himself even more.

"Now that you know, what do you think your love for Amanda is?" Hillary asked him, clearly expecting an answer.

I didn't want to answer. Some naïve part of myself thought that if I withheld the answer, that I could keep that information from becoming real; from being a fact. I knew that it was foolish, that it was either true or not, but I thought…

"It…its puppy love," he finally said. That's all it could be. All he and Amanda ever had was innocent, pure emotion, it never went far.

It was unfortunately puppy love. Not real. He didn't know why he trusted Hillary so much, but he did.

"And now, what about Jessi, the woman we would all should prefer not to name, because of what she did to Lori?" Hillary asked him.

He thought about the time he had with Jessi. It was sick, wrong, passionate, wild, right. It was all of that and more.

He couldn't tell anyone about that. He couldn't admit to anything with Jessi. He didn't want it to be real, because he knew it could present a problem for himself and Amanda in the future. He just didn't want anyone to know; for fear that Amanda would think less of him, even if they weren't together at that time.

"It's neither," he lied, knowing that it was real love that he had for Jessi. He wished it wasn't. He would have given anything for the positions to be reversed, but he couldn't change things.

Amanda was a puppy love, while Jessi was real love.

"Ok, good. Now that we have that settled let's go," Hillary said, "My work is done for now."

As they continued to walk, Kyle kept quiet, lost in his own thoughts. He vaguely heard Hillary make another comment.

"You know, it's kind of like it used to be," she said, "Except for Kyle and your brother," she told Lori, "But you, me, Declan. Even Kyle, I guess. Without Jessi or anyone else around, it's like it always used to be."

Kyle looked up when she said that. He thought about her words.

Normalcy. Jessi is a part of my normal life, as is Latnok now. But years ago, they wouldn't have been. Before I knew of either, before I knew of any of my heritage, of who I really was, this would have been normalcy.

It's odd how the sense of normalcy can change like this, so quickly, so vastly. One year we're together as friends, no secrets because there were none to be had. Now, a few years later, we all have secrets from each other, most pertaining to me. Like a spider sitting at the center of its own web, except I'm not manipulating the threads.

Maybe this is what it is to have a normal day, now. Maybe without Jessi or Amanda, without the threat of Latnok, Cassidy, Nate or Grace Kinglsy. Maybe this is how things should be from now on.

I hope this is how things can continue to be from now on. But with Amanda by my side, and no threats to worry about, even in the back of my mind. I hope that we can take care of all of it, and soon.

I hope that normalcy really can return.

Declan's phone went off. He pulled it out, "Hello? Right, completely forgot. Sorry, I'll be right there." He closed it.

"You have somewhere you need to be?" Lori asked him.

"Maybe it's a date," Josh said, taking a jab at his sister.

She glared at him, some jealousy in her eyes, then looked back to Declan, "Well?"

"Yeah, I do. I made plans a while ago that I forgot about. It's important, or I would blow them off, seriously. This was fun; we need to do it again." He turned and ran off, clearly not wanting to continue talking, as his speech had grown more erratic towards the end as he sped up his words.

"I wonder where he could be off to so quickly," Hillary said.

"Like I said, probably a date," Josh said.

"Shut up!" Lori snapped at him.

"Whoa! I thought you were dating that Mark guy! Why so angry?" He smiled slyly, "You still have a thing for Declan, don't you?"

"If you don't quiet down, I'll make sure you never see Andy again, or anything else for that matter!" she threatened him.

Kyle wasn't interested in the bickering and fighting of siblings. He wasn't interested in Hillary standing there, watching the arguing. He was only interested in trying to figure out between Amanda and Jessi.

Who is to say that puppy love can't be real love? Amanda and I may be innocent and pure in our relationship, while Jessi and I are volatile and self-destructive, but that doesn't mean anything. My love for Amanda can be real, while my feelings for Jessi can be anything other than love.

There's nothing set in stone dictating that one must be real, while the other can't be. There's nothing dictating that a man can't have two loves.

But I only want one. I only want Amanda. So why did I give up the chance to be with her again? Even if it wasn't for the reasons that I would want to be with her, why did I give it up? I should never give up the chance.

Never.

"I should go," Kyle said.

"Not you too!" Hillary said, "You're not going anywhere, Kyle!"

"I have to go and talk to Amanda! I have to get her back!" he told her.

"Is this about something I said?" she asked him, "You know, I may know what I'm talking about, but…" she couldn't decide how to finish that thought.

"You probably shouldn't listen to Hillary for relationship advice," Lori finished.

"Hey!" Hillary snapped.

"What? You were basically thinking it too," Lori said, turning back to her argument with Josh.

She shrugged to Kyle, "Well, she is right. Did you think of something after listening to me?" she questioned him.

"I did," he told her, "I figured out that no matter what, I want Amanda. I don't care if its puppy love, innocent, pure. That's who she is; that's how our love should be. It will become real love someday, but for now, it's the love that suits her."

Hillary sighed, "Like Lori said, you shouldn't be listening that seriously," she told Kyle.

"It's the only thing I have!" he said loudly, "It's the only way I can make myself be with Amanda at this point! I need to listen and bend what you say to fit me!"

They all looked at him in his desperation. Kyle looked at all of them, then back to Hillary, "I need to listen to you. I need to take at least some of your words to heart and work on my relationships and life."

"Go then," Hillary told him, "I won't stand in the way of true love."

"True?" he asked her.

"If you care about her that much, it must be," Hillary told him.

"Thanks," he told her, running off in the other direction.

"Do you really think that?" Josh asked her.

She shook her head, "No, but whatever makes him happy, I guess." She smiled, "I'm too nice for my own good, I guess."

"Yeah," Josh said sarcastically, earning a slap to his side from Hillary, "What was that for?" he yelled.

"Everything," Hillary said, "Come on, Lori, let's go."

"What about me?" Josh questioned.

"Do you really want to be hanging out with your sister and her friend?" Lori questioned him.

"You make a good point," Josh said, running off, just as Declan and Kyle had already done.

"So, where do you think Declan had to be?" Hillary asked Lori.

"I don't know," Lori said, pretty annoyed.

"I could try to find out for you," Hillary offered.

"I don't want to know," Lori told her.

"Are you sure? You clearly still like him," Hillary commented.

"I'm with Mark," Lori said.

"And you told me you couldn't get in contact with him for how long?" she asked.

"Weeks," Lori muttered.

"Right. So why not assume the worst and go back to Declan? You two were always so good together," Hillary said.

"Because I need someone better than Declan," Lori said, "And Mark is better, as I've found."

"Are you sure? Or were you just using him as a substitute while you couldn't be with Declan?" Hillary asked her, "I think you just used him for a while to compensate for Declan. Not that there's much comparison; Declan is far better."

"You don't know Mark like I do," Lori told her.

"But be honest; am I right?"

"Well…"

"I am right!" Hillary said, "So why don't you just go and try to get with Declan again? So what if you're both dating other people? Drop them and get that great couple back together!"

Lori looked away, afraid to admit that Hillary was right.

"You're late," Foss told Declan.

"I was with Kyle," Declan told him, panting from his running to get there roughly on time, "I'm sorry."

"The end of your training begins soon," Foss told him, ignoring the apology, "Are you going to be ready?"

"Of course," Declan said, "What does the end mean?"
"You mean what do you have to do?" Foss questioned him.

"Yeah, exactly that," Declan replied, "What do I need to do to finish training?"

"You need to survive," Foss told him.

"Survive?" Declan questioned.

Foss pointed to a backpack lying on the floor, "Look inside."

Declan walked over to it and crouched down, picking through the items inside. He found a flask for water, a survival knife, a flint, a small oiled tarp, and not much else, other than a length of rope tied around the outside.

"So…survive?" he asked Foss, "Where?"

"I'll get you that information soon," Foss told him, "Just store that in your vehicle and await instructions. You'll need to survive for twenty four hours in the place of my choice for you. Then and only then will you have fully shown me that you're ready to be Kyle's guardian."

"I'll do my best," Declan told Foss, picking up the pack.

"No gun," Foss told him as afterthought, as well as, "Your best won't cut it. You must simply survive; don't try to impress. Just survive."

"Got it," Declan told him, "So…"

"We're done. Go and put that in your truck."

"Right," Declan said, running off, leaving Foss alone in the large, empty abandoned building to watch him go.

Kyle was soon running down the block towards Amanda's house as well as the Tragers house. He was going to go to Amanda and take her back, after she had offered to get back together when he was in the hospital.

It wasn't for the right reasons, but sometimes that didn't matter. To Kyle it always mattered, but Hillary had made him really think about the types of love, and that he should be with Amanda, even if it wasn't for necessarily all of the right reasons. They were right enough.

As he continued to run, he slowed when he saw a car outside of Amanda's house. It was a taxi, he noticed. He could see Amanda getting into it with a suitcase in hand, and then they were pulling out, coming his way.

He stayed standing where he was. He turned to look inside as they passed. He could see Amanda looking out. For a moment, their eyes connected, and then she was gone. She hadn't had the taxi stop so she could talk to him; she just went on.

He slowly made his way towards the houses now, seeing Amanda's mother outside as he passed. He stopped at the end of their driveway, "Where did she go?" he asked her bluntly, ignoring the fact that he was fairly rude by asking in such a way.

Mrs. Bloom didn't seem to notice, or she didn't care today, at least not on the outside, "She went to look at colleges in New York," she told Kyle, "There was a chance for her to go to a good one, so she took it. She'll likely be able to end up going there, and if she likes her visit, I have no doubt she will go. I don't like her being away, but she saw the chance, and I let her go. Because of you."

"I didn't…," he couldn't argue with her, not over something like this, "When will she be back?"

"Amanda gave me instructions that, if you asked, not to tell you," she told him.

"Why?" he questioned in an outburst.

"I don't know," she replied, "I've grown to kind of like you, Kyle, but whatever you did, Amanda isn't that happy anymore, and I'm starting to grow to dislike you again. Because I don't like people who make Amanda mad. Who she holds in bad grace."

"Did she say that?" he questioned.

"I can just tell that there's something wrong with her, involving you," she told him, "Now, I have work to do," she walked back inside, having been out to see Amanda off, and possibly to wait for him, knowing that he would come.

And now Amanda is gone. Because of me, she may not be here much longer. What would I do if she went to New York for college? Would I be able to follow her? I don't think she would want that, so I couldn't. And I have my family here, and Latnok is here, and I have to stop them.

I can stay with my family, stop Latnok, but I may lose Amanda forever. Is it worth it? Is my duty to stop Latnok worth more than my love for Amanda?

I guess I'll have to make the most of any time I have left with her. Left with anyone, in case others begin to leave, or if I leave…

["Boston" by Augustana .com/watch?v=xtTXLNojljE]

"Why did you call all of us here?" questioned Hillary.

It was Hillary, Lori, Josh, Kyle and Declan once again, meeting in a park. Josh brought up the same point, "It's not like the last time went very well," he told Kyle.

"There's a very important reason I called you all here," Kyle said, "Because we're all friends, in some way."

"Is that it?" Josh questioned him.

"No. That's not it," Kyle replied, "It's because…our paths are going to be going away from each other soon, right? College, our paths in life…how long do we actually have left together? How long until we part ways?

"I went to see Amanda earlier today. She was going to New York to look at colleges out there, without telling me, without leaving me anything about when she would be back. She's still hurt, and I realized I might not see her again, not in the way we used to see each other, if you get what I mean."

"I'm sorry man," Declan said.

"It'll work out," Kyle said.

I hope.

"So I called you all her because…when our paths do part, I want us to have a memory like this. I want us to all have had this time together. Times have been hard for us recently, in a variety of ways. We've all had our own hardships, but…our friendship is a constant.

"We need this friendship. We need something to hold onto. We need a past to hold. Isn't that right, everyone? We just need something like this."

"I agree," Declan said, "I don't have any plans for leaving Seattle but…we need this."

"I don't plan on leaving for a while," Josh said, still having another year of school left.

"I…," Lori shook her head.

"Go on," Kyle said.

"I'm going away," she said, "For college. I don't know where yet, but I am going to leave."

"You didn't tell me?" Hillary questioned, "Why not?"

"Because I wasn't going to tell anyone," Lori said, "Not until I found a school. I'm…I'm going into music still, but I don't have a place yet."

"I'm not going anywhere," Hillary said.

"What about you, Kyle?" Declan asked.

"I don't know. I think I'm going to stay. This is my home; I can't leave it."

We may have different plans in life. Lori going to a school somewhere else. Declan is going to stay. Josh will probably stay, and Hillary is also staying. Lori may be the only one leaving, and possibly Amanda, but we still have our different paths in life.

Josh is probably going to try to be with Andy, and go to her. Hillary doesn't seem like she would want to stay here for too long, when she could be seeing places. I feel she'll leave eventually.

Declan says he'll stay, but knowing him, he may go after Lori. He obviously still deeply cares about her. And Amanda may be going to New York.

That leaves me. I may be staying here in Seattle, but I won't have a normal life by any means. My entire goal is to stay here and to stop Latnok.

We may persist here, together, but we all have our different paths. At least we have these memories. Normalcy can continue. Not everything has to change.

Our friendships won't.

[Song ends]