A/N: And on we go

"Aoshi was always my friend, even through rough patches. I guess you could say...I trusted him more than I trusted most men. I trusted him more than Kaoru sometimes. I know that sounds dangerous, but it's true.

"The trouble was no one really saw this trust, since it was more of a nonverbal thing than anything. Then one night he called me late, and I wasn't sure why, and I had an awful feeling inside."

-Kenshin Himura

"One of our accountants..."Hiko grit his teeth.

It was now 1982. Kenji was eight years old and hard as hell to control. It sometimes felt like I could so nothing to control him, and it seemed like sometimes there was nothing that could appease him. At the same time, Kaoru had changed on me. From the time she miscarried, she seemed a little less energetic than she usually was. Eventually her fervor for life came back, but it wasn't the same. We argued sometimes, and they were over little things that bothered her. She no longer made effort to have any children, and often she took as many precautions as she could to keep it from happening. I knew, somewhere, that it was my fault. If I hadn't messed with Enishi, then he wouldn't have messed with Kaoru.

"What the fuck is happening..?" Hiko looked around at everyone, his brows furrowed.

I folded my hands in my lap calmly. I never kept my money with "our accountants" because I always thought it was too risky. The only bit of my money of mine that was mixed with theirs was the money that Hiko took when I was sixteen and invested. I had no cause to be alarmed by the statement of "our accountants" selling us out after just leverage with the police. If I wasn't associated with the money, then I had no reason to be afraid.

I wiped the sweat off of my brow, and looked to the hot spring we were having. The new place that we met at wasn't as well ventilated as other places, and I was always sweating. It was also where I would get nosebleeds the most, which also made it the place that I was berated the most.

I went to Megumi after a while, just so that Hiko would stop telling me to go to a doctor. I walked into her clinic one day, and it only took one look from the nurse before I was urged back into one of the examination rooms where Megumi was. She gave me this weary little smile and told me to sit. It was obvious that Hiko had already told her about what was going on, and it seemed like she was ready for anything for when I actually came around to her.

She did a small work up on me, and through all of that, it only proved to be the weather that was the cause of the ailment. Hiko begrudgingly excepted this as truth, but he told me that it was unnatural for it to have started randomly while I was in prison. He told me that it was my punishment, even after I was out of jail, for more than just the assault, but for my straying ways. I didn't attempt to argue with him. I got tired of explaining my relationship with Tomoe.

"Are they trying them together?" Sozo asked. He was like me. He didn't pool his money either.

"As an organization, yes," Hiko replied.

He'd already went through the preliminary hearing, since his money was along in the pool, but he'd posted bail. "So the question is...why'd the accountant suddenly turn into a turncoat?" Sozo said aloud. It was what we were all thinking. "What could the police possibly offer him that would be better than a large client?"

"Immunity, probably," I'izuka said. "What's also the question is how the police even knew he was our accountant. There's more than one turncoat. There has to be."

I lowered my head and rubbed my temples. I could feel a headache coming on. These meetings annoyed me anymore. I'd begun to find blame in them for their own problems. It was their own sloppiness in this more technologically advanced era that was causing all their faults. Most of the men, Hiko included, were use to a simpler way of doing things, and believed that the police would always be none the wiser. But the police were getting ahead of them, and they didn't seem to want to admit that fact.

When I kept thinking about it, the more they kept saying that there was a turncoat, and most specifically, it was I'izuka who enjoyed saying it, or at least, stating the fact, the more I was looking at all of my comrades, a scope on, feeling as though I knew something they didn't.

Of course, that might have been because I did know something they didn't, but I didn't plan on telling them anytime soon. Really, I didn't know all that much, but what I did know was that, if they ever found out what I had been doing, I was dead meat.

Let me start first by saying that I had nothing to do with the magical blabbing accountant, that was merely coincidence. No, I was more of a selective informant, if you could put it that way. I never meant any harm within my own family, but I was tired of knowing that the police were looking at us and the other families in great detail, and feeling like I was the only one that could see it. Of course I wasn't, but that was beside the point.

It happened nearly a year earlier. It was late at night, and me and Kaoru, having been through our trials and tribulations, seemed to be a little cold, at least in bed. We had our backs turned to one another, and it was at least three in the morning. We had a phone in the bedroom, something she liked to keep there for safe measure, since she seemed to spend a majority of her time in there anymore. (There was a television in our room also, something she said helped her get to sleep at night. I think it's just because she didn't like it quiet at night.) The phone went off one night, sometime in the early part of the year.

It took a few rings, but I eventually picked it up and pressed it to my ear. Kaoru was pulling the blanket around her, pretending that she wasn't intentionally trying to take them from me.

"'Ello?"

"Himura?" Aoshi's solemn voice was on the line. My eyes opened wide, and I slide my hand down my face. For some reason, chills went down my spine, effectively waking me up.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Yes and no."

I looked back to Kaoru, who seemed sound asleep, and I got up out of the bed, picking up the phone base, taking it with me into the hallway. I closed the door, hoping that I wouldn't disturb anyone else. "What's the matter?"

"The body of Enishi Yukishiro has been found, buried along with another unidentifiable corpse," he said calmly, as if he delivered this news everyday. Shock went through me.

"E-enishi? Dead?"

"Multiple gunshot wounds."

I put my hand to my mouth, pondering a moment. I could only wonder, but of course, it seemed natural to think who had done it. The last nail in the coffin was the second body, mostly likely of the thug that Sanosuke beat the crap out of years before, while we were in the bar. I laughed ironically, thinking that Sanosuke was smart enough to become a lawyer, but dumb enough to bury the bodies in the same place. At the same time, I never thought that the original body would have been found since the place we buried it was so recluse that no one would ever think to dig it up again.

"H-how...how were they found?"

"There was an condominium being built. They dug the bodies up, told the police. That happened about two days ago," I nodded to myself.

"Took them time to ID Enishi then, huh?" I asked. Aoshi gave a shallow sound that was something of a 'yes'. "So...what should I be worried about?"

"Charges," he said. "There was a man who spoke of the second man, the unidentified one, said he remembered seeing a man with red hair the night that a patron was beaten. If it's true, you could get complicity."

"I didn't do it."

"It doesn't matter," Aoshi said. "Facts are facts. I'm assuming that it was Sagara who performed the act?"

I didn't know if I wanted to tell him or not. If I told him, I would be putting Sanosuke in danger by saying that he was the one who killed the thug, and also, unintentionally, proving that he was the one that killed Enishi. At the same time, if I said no, it would put me more at fault for everything, which was also something that I really didn't want to have happen either.

"Look," I said, hoping to steer away from the accusation all together. "Do the police have a warrant or anything?" I asked. I was thinking that this was all I needed. Not only could they try and pull me in on complicity, but a parole violation as well.

"If not they're drumming up one as we speak," he said softly. "I'm going to come over and collect you in the next few hours; Sagara as well. It's for the best."

And I wondered if it was a good thing or not. Aoshi hung up with me, and I looked at the phone curious. I started to dig at the edges of it, pulling at the sides, until it finally came open. I looked around in the wires of the phone, seeing if there was anything that I noticed out of the ordinary. It had not been tapped, at least not that I could see.

I stood up, putting the phone back together. I looked into the cracked door of Kenji's room. I walked into it, being as quiet as I could, and I stood overtop of him, watching him breath. He always slept haphazardly, the sheets and pillows strewn about. He had a small stuffed dinosaur tucked under his arm neatly. I ran my knuckles down his face, and he flinched but didn't wake.

I left from his room and went back into ours, putting the phone back where it was on the nightstand, and then went to the closet, dressing quickly. Kaoru had woken, and looked at me with bleary eyes. I went over to her, kissed her on the lips, and hugged her tightly, as if I were leaving into the purgatory.

She didn't seem much the wiser. I rose early a lot of the times of my accord. She just laid back in bed and said: "Night."

I waited outside in the cool air, my hands folded between my thighs. And Aoshi picked me up.

That night changed everything. I went from being the family's best friend to its worst enemy. The worst part was, I agreed to help them, so long as any charges against me were dropped. I gave them bits of information on cases, things that could point them in the right direction without actually telling them what was going on. They were smart enough to put the pieces together.

So as I sat in this room, with these people, and I knew that there was at least two people, me being one of them. Finally the tirades ended, and the words of fear went away. I went downstairs, the headache only getting worse, and I came up to Kaoru hugging her once again. She noticed that I wasn't myself, and she offered a meek smile saying that dinner would be ready soon.

Kenji was outside playing around with Yahiko. Yahiko had taken residence with us after his mother passed away from illness. We were more than happy to share our home with him, and it seemed like Kaoru had lightened up after he came. I suppose, to her, she felt like a mother to two boys instead of one, and it filled a little bit of that void that had been cut into her when she lost the baby. I'd come to terms with the fact that I was incapable of filling that void. I just told myself that if she was happy then I was happy for her.

I walked outside and took a deep breath of the spring air. There was a hum of insects in the distance, and the laughter of Yahiko and Kenji as they ran around the yard. Megumi was also outside sitting awkwardly on a glider. She was pregnant and I suppose she was getting very uncomfortable as the months kept coming. If I wasn't mistaken, she gave birth sometime in June, just a few days shy of my own birthday.

I came up beside her, but I didn't sit. She seemed like she needed the entire glider and I wasn't about to make her uncomfortable. Sanosuke had been on everyone lately. When it came to his wife and his child, he was the ultimate protector. It was cute to watch him be so loving. He stayed home with Megumi so often it seemed as if he had disappeared. I knew he was proud though. He was going to be a father. I could only imagine how he was going to raise the kid though. He seemed so volatile at times. I kept telling myself that the baby would change him. Everyone in the family was looking for a change.

"I can't wait until then," Megumi sighed out. "Seeing my little boy run around."

"You think it'll be a boy?" I asked her. She shook her head.

"I know it will. It's that maternal instinct."

I cracked a grin. "The kid isn't even here yet and you already have maternal instinct?" I asked. Megumi nodded proudly. There really was no other person for Sanosuke. Megumi was the perfect package. She was sweet and sincere, but at the same time she could rule with an iron fist. Even if Sanosuke was known as a brute in the family, Megumi held his balls in her hand and she could squeeze at any time. I would dare to say that if she were a man, she'd be worse than Sanosuke. But she wasn't. She was just a smart woman who managed to grab a wild husband.

"Mr. Himura!" Yahiko called out. He had Kenji hanging upside down in his arms, and Kenji was slipping quickly. I went over to the two of them and grabbed Kenji. The moment I did he started to kick around.

"Let go Dad!" he squirmed until he hit the ground. "Geez!"

I wanted to laugh, but somehow I couldn't. I looked back to the house to see where there were a few other people at the door.

Ever since I became a selective informant, I felt that there were eyes constantly on my shoulder. Everyone from Sanosuke, to Sozo, to I'izuka and even Hiko (though strangely, he was the least suspicious). I knew it looked bad to be constantly looking over my shoulder at everyone, but I couldn't help it. There was that cold chill rushing through me all the time. The bullet scars on my arm would tingle, and I would be waiting for somebody to come up and point a gun at my head and blow me away. That was how it worked. They came up when you least expected, made a mess, and left without a trace. I'd seen Sanosuke do it enough times that I didn't have to guess how I would go if anyone ever found out about my part time "job".

"Dad?" I looked to Kenji. He itched at his upper lip and I knew what he meant. I wiped my nose on my wrist without a second thought, and then I brought out a handkerchief, mildly stained from a previous time. "When are we going home?"

"Soon," I said quietly. I picked him up, and this time he didn't try and squirm away from me. "Is something the matter?"

He shook his head. "I want Mommy," he said. I set him on the ground and he ran towards the house, disappearing behind the door.

Several weeks later I was doing nothing of importance. I wasn't ever doing anything of importance anymore, even when I went out on late night escapades with Sanosuke, or was running the kitchen during big rushes. Hiko was gone so frequently I was named the head of the entire establishment, and I was often on the phone, or working with those outside the business (the real business that is).

In the middle of doing hardly anything, my day suddenly became interesting. The back door came flinging open, a rush of warm spring air flooding into the kitchen. I put down my knife momentarily to see who it was that had burst through the door. My heart had skipped, naturally, because good things rarely came through that door. I was intrigued to see that it was Yahiko, who was just making it for his shift.

"Sozo! Mr. Himura!" he called out. He rushed through the kitchen pushing through the rest of the workers to try and find us. I was the one that he came to first. He was out of breath momentarily, so I let him suck in a few before he tried to speak. By that point Sozo was at my side trying to coax Yahiko into telling us whatever seemed to be so urgent.

"It's Sano!" he said. His eyes were fiery, but I couldn't read the difference between extreme happiness and a queer sadness. My stomach flopped a couple of times, as I imagine Sozo's did before Yahiko said: "He's being made."

I lit up immediately, but just by seeing Sozo's calm reaction I knew that he was already aware of this fact. Of course Sozo knew though. Sanosuke was his son. Who else would he have told first? Sozo's grin was wide. I wondered why he never told anybody that Sanosuke was being made. Obviously it had been made apparent to Sozo sometime prior, and he never felt like it was important to tell us. Maybe he was just trying to keep everyone calm. Or maybe he knew something that we didn't.

Either way, I was happy. Since Hiko was away that day, I felt like I would be generous in his place. I was sure he would have done something like it (seeing as Sanosuke was somewhat like a son-maybe a half-son or something). I pulled out a wine bottle and a few shot glasses and let everyone have a drink. Sozo declined and kept at his work.

The next opportunity I got to talk to Sanosuke, I did. I went over to his place, chatted with Megumi for a few moments, and then met him downstairs. He'd been fixing up the baby's room and was doing it on overdrive. When I got there he was painting. "I didn't know you could be made," I said to him. He flung around, throwing paint from the roller. "I didn't know you were full-blood."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged. He didn't know what to say about it either. Sometimes a lack of words was the best thing though. You could feel the emotions instead of having to describe them. It made them much more meaningful, at least, that was what I thought.

Sanosuke hugged me. "Man, I wish you could be too," he said. "But hell, you already are. What with Hiko and all."

"Why didn't you tell anybody?"

"I didn't want to make a fuss," he said. "I've been busy lately. Megumi's kept me home," that was his cover for his softness. Megumi was keeping him home. Family was important, so no one really cared if Sanosuke was slacking some because of it. "I told Dad. I figured he'd be a damn blabbermouth and tell everybody."

"Yahiko did," I told him. "Came in and told the whole shift."

"The ceremony of...rite...or whatever the hell the thing is the makes it complete is in a few days."

"Good luck working your way up the ladder."

Sanosuke smiled. "Maybe I'll be as big as you."

"Please..."I shook my head and sat down. We continued to talk for the next half hour, inflating each others egos. I could help but feel proud. Sanosuke was my best friend; my brother. Of course I was proud. He would have been just as proud of me too, I was sure of it. Somehow he was like his Dad though. Reserved about the entire thing. It was like he wasn't as proud of himself. I figured maybe it was because he was a bit of an informant himself. He was more selective than I was; probably because I was the one that told them anything and they rarely had to use him. I knew he was probably thinking about what would happen when he became a part of the inner ranks. The police would want to know what went on at that point. They'd be shoving him with questions like they were stuffing a teddy bear. And yet, he found some glimmer in it. That was Sanosuke. That was the strange man he was.

Was...

A/N: I realize it's been forever. I've been busy with school and AP classes and working on solo things...I'm graduating this year, so I'm focusing in on college. I haven't forgot you, my faithful readers. Just give me some leeway. I'll keep 'em comin'. Honest to goodness...