Author's Note: I AM ALIIIIIIIIIVVVEEEEE! IT'S A MIRACLE!

Holy crap! My last update was… 6/11/11! Over three months ago! SHEESH!

Since I'm sure you're not in the mood to hear me ramble, I shall just say I was ridiculously busy and let you continue with the chapter.

Speaking of the chapter… I suppose I'm happier with this one than I am with the previous one, but… I don't like the way the Hyorinmaru encounter turned out. It seemed good while I was writing it, but now that I'm looking over it again it doesn't seem right somehow. I think the tone of it changed too much without me really noticing; now instead of being a scared little wimp, I'm cussing him out. owo

I've probably been staring at it too long. I'll just leave the opinions to you readers. In any case he'll be back to normal eventually, and will start to think about nomming my face off before actually attempting to do it. XDXD

Before I start though, I'd like to give a big Arigatou! to Lychee no Shinjitsu, whose encouraging words gave me inspiration enough to resume work on this fic even in the midst of my homework hurricane. :D

Anyway, on with the fic! God knows you guys have waited long enough! X3

Chapter 4: Effort

I had that same damned dream again.

Except this time, instead of a bloody Aizen, Hitsugaya showed up, cut completely in half and demanding that I give him his body back.

Not a pleasant experience, especially when he then tried to separate my head from my body via Hyorinmaru.

However, this time I didn't wake up screaming (don't ask me how or why; I have no idea why that wasn't creepy enough to make me scream). Instead, what slowly woke me up was the fact that my arm seriously itched.

Not opening my eyes (I rather hoped I could get some more sleep), I drowsily reached over and tried to scratch it, before a gentle hand closed around it and kept me from moving.

"Hold on one moment more please, Captain Hitsugaya. I'm almost finished," I heard a woman say. Dimly I realized that the itching was coming from my injured arm (so it was a good thing that I hadn't scratched it), I apparently had fallen asleep in the shihakusho, and that Unohana's calming presence filled the room (which, I must add, I don't remember entering last night to go to bed… Hmm…).

I opened bleary turquoise eyes and saw my/Hitsugaya's arm bathed in the emerald light of a healing Kido. The sleeve of the shihakusho was pushed up, and the bandages were off, so I could see the skin slowly reforming. The cuts themselves were little more than thin red lines now. As I waited I idly noticed the hazy light streaming through the windows and realized I must have overslept again; typical me, wasting time even when I'm not meaning to.

A couple minutes later she was done; nothing remained of the four long cuts, not even faint scars. Evidence of her incredible skill with Kido. The itchy feeling had left with the glow, so when I pushed myself up, Unohana let go of my hand, and passed me a white paper bag.

"I requested that the Head Captain give you the rest of the week off for rest. Lieutenant Matsumoto has already been notified and will tend to all work during that time," she said, her calm aura making me drowsy again. "In the bag is some medicine to help you sleep; take two each night. There's enough to last two weeks, and if needed, you can come see me for more."

She stood up and moved toward the door. I opened the bag, and, while there was a little bottle of pills in there, there was also a folded-up sheet of paper… a sheet of paper that, when unfolded, revealed itself to be a map, with a red line leading from here to Squad 4.

"Unohana," I blurted before I could stop myself. Her hand paused on the door as she glanced back at me. "Uh… Is it all right if I stop by the Squad Four barracks later today? I need… help with something." Forget staying in character; I really needed someone to help me out, or else my status would get even worse than "Royally Screwed."

She smiled slightly. "Of course, Captain Hitsugaya. Is noon all right with you?"

I nodded. It wasn't like I'd be doing anything important or work-related today anyway, so whenever she was available was good enough for me.

Her job done, she slid open the shoji and stepped out… right as Matsumoto stepped in.

"All better, Captain?" she asked cheerily, bouncing as she walked to the bedside.

"You called her here, didn't you?" I asked, keeping my voice level. Even when I'd told her not to-

"Yes. I was worried about you," she replied, a little bit of her Rangiku-brand enthusiasm fading.

-she went and did it anyway.

'THANK YOU!' I thought gratefully, SO happy she'd disobeyed my "order" (especially since it was one I hadn't wanted to give) and saved Hitsugaya's arm from a few new scars.

"Don't worry. He won't do it again," I said gruffly, although I really had no idea if Hyorinmaru would or not… I was of course hoping for the latter.

Rangiku gave me a sort of exasperated smile.

"You can ask for help once in a while, Captain," she said, flicking strawberry-blond hair over her shoulder. "It's not going to kill you."

I snorted. "Matsumoto, I'm a Captain. I'm the one doing the helping," I shot back. "And speaking of helping, shouldn't you be in the office right now?"

"Oh, uh, right away, Captain! That paperwork will be done in no time!" the buxom Lieutenant said enthusiastically. Then a light bulb seemed to come on over her head, and she suddenly walked out of the room, reappearing a few seconds later with papers in her hand.

"Speaking of paperwork, Captain…" she said as she passed them to me. "What were you working on last night?"

Ooooops.

So that's what had happened. Rangiku must have brought me in here after I must have fallen asleep on the patio, then tried to decipher my writing.

Since it was in English, she wouldn't have been able to read it (unless she's secretly bilingual), but…

"It's… haiku," I said lamely. Ohhhhhh, why can't I be in MY body and Hitsugaya be in HIS?

Rangiku looked like I'd just said I planned to go to a bar with Shunsui tonight. "Really? Captain, I didn't know you wrote haiku," she said, surprise evident in her tone.

"It's relaxing," I said as I shrugged, "and Unohana barred me from the office anyway. I didn't have much to do."

"Can you read me some?"

"…Why?" I asked, feeling completely stupid about the whole thing. WHY hadn't I come up with an excuse? WHY had I said HAIKU?

"Because you wrote it in a different language or something and I can't read it," she replied, giving me puppy eyes (which of course had no effect whatsoever) as I mentally hit myself in the head. "C'mon, Captain, I promise I won't tell anyone."

Frick.

Yeah, writing haiku was relaxing, but that didn't mean I always liked what I came up with. Besides, there were very UN-Hitsu haikus in there, having to do with white dragons and other such metaphors: grinning snakes and emo peaches and orange strawberries and the like.

I knew full well that she would keep nagging me about it, but I tried to weasel out anyway.

"Matsumoto, if you don't want more paperwork on top of what you should already be doing, you will drop the subject and go to the office," I said forcefully.

"All right, Captain, have it your way, then," Rangiku replied with a completely unconvinced smile as she walked out.

Great. She'd nag me later, then.

As she closed the door behind her, I flopped back down on the bed. Damnit, Rangiku could be annoying sometimes. Fun and awesome, but also annoying.

Hmm…

Since I was already going to Squad 4 to tell Unohana about my predicament, I might as well bring Rangiku along as well. While letting more people know about me is soooo bad of an idea that it could change the fate of and possibly destroy the universe (okay, maybe not that bad), Rangiku should know, because she's the closest person to Hitsugaya not counting Miss I'm An Aizen-Obsessed Fangirl. That means that she knows him well, and because of her position as Squad 10's Lieutenant, she could help me cover my tracks, so to speak.

As well as help me train, because I'm gonna need it if I'm going to get myself out of this mess and live to tell the tale.

That decided, I realized I should probably go get cleaned up. Rangiku had removed the haori but had left me in the shihakusho, so I'd have to find a spare after I got out of the show-

Oh.

OH.

OH GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!

I have realized something. Something obviously important. Something pertaining to my sanity. You might be wondering what it is. I suppose I'll tell you.

Of all the characters I could have landed in, it couldn't have been Rukia, or Orihime, or even Rangiku, or even some nameless girl! It just HAD to be Hitsugaya.

Hitsu-fucking-gaya.

A GUY.

You might be wondering why I'm freaking out and using so many of those wonderful expletives. If you are, you're either a complete idiot, or you obviously can't remember my gender. I am a GIRL, a girl who has the current misfortune/curse of being stuck in a GUY's body.

And not only did I need a shower, but of course there just HAD to be something else.

Nature was calling, and nature does not like to be ignored.

If I would've looked in the mirror, I'm pretty sure I would have seen that Hitsugaya's face was tomato red. And that one of his eyes may or may not have been twitching.

Seriously, for a moment I think I died and went straight to Hell.

Because if you haven't yet noticed…

THIS SITUATION IS NOT AIDING MY MENTAL HEALTH IN ANY WAY.

You know how you never see anime characters in the bathroom unless it's for comedic effect? So all the characters are "holding it" for several episodes, if not entire plot arcs.

If I'd ended up in an ANIME anime version of Bleach, theoretically I'd be able to "hold it" until the end of the frickin' series.

But obviously there were no lines to be found and no signs of cel shading anywhere. This Bleach was real, real, real, right down to every grain in the wooden floors and each snowy hair on Hitsugaya's head.

So I had NO CHANCE WHATSOEVER of "holding it," and unless I wanted to have another reason to look for a spare shihakusho, I needed to get to the bathroom ASAP.

…I think I stood outside the damn door staring at it blankly for a good half-hour before nature insisted I get in there and get it over with.

I shall NOT go into any details, but let's just say that I dearly hope none of you girls ever have the misfortune of getting stuck in a guy's body and leave it at that.

However, there is good news: Nature was no longer bothering me, I'd gotten the shower over with (I think I was literally steaming I was so red), and I found a bottle of hair gel! So now Hitsugaya's hair was back to full spikyness.

…My life obviously really, really, REALLY sucks if I'm calling all that crap "good news."

By the time I was done with everything, it was a couple minutes past 10am, which meant I had an hour and a half to kill before I had to hunt down Rangiku and find my way to the Squad 4 barracks (I'm HOPING the way there won't take thirty minutes, but I'm allowing for any sort of "road blocks" or "detours" we might encounter).

So I decided to spend that time getting a few of my thoughts in order.

I pulled out some more paper, found the inkwell and brush, and began to write down what I knew:

-Stuck in the Arrancar arc,
-Winter War in four (-ish?) months,
-Need to train if I want to live,
-Hyorinmaru wants to eat my face off,
-No idea how to get back in my body and get Hitsu back in his,
-No idea how to use even basic soul reaper techniques,
-Must stay in character and hope no one can read English,
-Unohana and Rangiku will soon know about me,
-Possibility of Hitsu death during DiamondDust Rebellion (whenever it happens)
-Rangiku needs to close her frickin' shirt,
-Momo's still in a coma,
-Gin is awesome,
-Yamamoto is a bastard,
-Aizen needs to die,
-And my life officially sucks.

An hour and a half later found me wandering the halls of the Squad 4 barracks with a bemused buxom Lieutenant in tow.

Actually, I was in tow of HER. I'd told her, my tone completely serious, that she needed to escort me to Unohana; don't ask questions, just do it, because this was important and I'd explain later. I didn't want to waste time with the map (I'd memorize it later), and Rangiku was going to know about everything soon anyway, so…

I could almost feel her confusion, but I didn't say anything until we reached Unohana.

The motherly Captain was standing outside the door to what seemed to be a randomly-picked room in the hall. We walked in, and she closed the door.

"What did you need to speak to me about, Captain Hitsugaya?" Unohana asked, though I'm sure she already knew the answer.

"No one's going to randomly barge in here, right?" I asked. She nodded.

"And no one can eavesdrop?"

Nod.

"Good," I sighed in relief. The last thing I needed was word of this spreading around.

"Captain, what's going on?" Rangiku asked, blatant concern on her face.

"Before I say anything, I need both of you to promise that what I say here will never leave this room," I said seriously. "If word does get out, it could be disastrous for everyone. Understand?"

Both women nodded.

That over with, I let out another sigh. How to put this delicately…

"You know how I fainted yesterday?" I asked Rangiku, not attempting to stay in character anymore.

Rangiku looked a little uneasy. "Of course."

"Well, you were right. Hitsugaya never faints."

Yep, that's me, completely lacking any sort of tact. Rangiku looked confused but I quickly cut her off before she could say anything.

"I'm not Hitsugaya," I blurted, mentally saying 'Screw tact! Let's just get this over with!' "I mean, this is his body, but I'm not him." I looked at Rangiku apologetically. "Hyorinmaru was furious when he found out; that's why he attacked me," I said quietly.

"So if you're not the Captain," the buxom Lieutenant said worriedly, "then who are you?"

I felt my face get warm, and based on Rangiku's surprised look, I realized it was probably her first time seeing Hitsugaya blush.

"I, er… Um…"

Crap.

It was an awkward, fidgety moment as I tried to figure out a good way to put this.

"First off, I'm American." That seemed like a good start. "What you saw on those papers was English. I wrote all that haiku stuff last night when I started getting depressed."

"How is it that you can speak Japanese?" Unohana asked, probably just for the sake of asking.

I decided to wait until they knew who I was before I told them how I knew of their world. "I'll get to that in a minute," I replied. "Second, until this happened, I was perfectly normal. No soul reapers or monsters or strange powers or anything. And third…"

I swallowed, and felt my face get even warmer.

"I'm a girl."

One look at their shocked faces and I knew that not even Unohana had expected THAT, though she didn't look nearly as shocked as the Squad 10 Lieutenant.

"Um, I-I'm Allison… Allison Kane," I stammered, feeling incredibly nervous and completely ridiculous and about twenty other things all at once. Keep in mind the fact that I'm not saying this; technically, it's Hitsugaya. That doesn't help towards making the situation any less awkward.

Unohana, being Unohana, must have sensed (or most likely seen) my intense discomfort, because the next moment, she was leaning down to give me a hug. It felt so warm and just plain mom-ish that I completely broke down, burying my face in Unohana's haori and dampening the fabric.

It had been so long since I'd actually cried. Sure, there'd been frustrated eye-watering whenever my dad yelled at me, maybe a tear or two shed over character death, but I haven't cried since I was ten.

"I'm so confused…" I murmured. "I don't know why this happened… Why it had to happen to me… I just want to go home…"

Rangiku walked over and put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "It'll be all right," I heard her say. "We're here to help."

"But it won't be all right," I shot back, getting back some control of my emotions. Unohana released me, and they both gazed at me with concerned expressions.

"See, where I'm coming from, you guys, everyone you know, everything in this world, is just an anime," I said. "Just a made-up world created by a really cool manga author. In my world there is no Soul Society, no Hollows, no afterlife, no nothing. My sister and I watched Bleach – the anime you're all in – because we liked the plot and the characters and it was a good distraction from boring reality. We never thought that Bleach could ever affect us like this – why would we? – but now that I'm here, it has, and I don't know why."

Rangiku's stormy gray eyes were wide. "But… How is that possible?" she said, disbelief clear in her voice. "Our world… just… made up? Just fiction?"

"I know it's hard to believe, but it's true," I replied, trying to break this to them gently but failing absolutely miserably. "And it gets worse. I've seen plenty of Bleach episodes, and I know a lot about what's going to happen, but unless I have some help, everything's gonna get screwed up because I have no idea how to fight!"

I ended up kind of yelling that last part out of frustration, my fears coming back and slapping me in the face with all the subtlety of Mayuri's bankai.

For once, Unohana's graceful smile wasn't present, replaced instead with a sort of worried/concerned/thoughtful almost-frown. "What exactly is going to happen?" she asked quietly.

I shook my head. "I can't tell you," I said apologetically. "In order to make sure everyone who's supposed to be alive stays alive, I need everything to play out as close to the original anime as possible. That's where I'm going to need your help. While I know enough about Hitsugaya to act like him for a while, I won't be able to keep the illusion up without your help. Rangiku, I need you to teach me how to fight, and Unohana, I need to learn some healing Kido. Like, really soon, because I already know I'm going to need it."

Unohana nodded, while Rangiku blurted, "But what about Hyorinmaru?"

She had an excellent point, one I'd already started to think about. "I don't know," I replied slowly. "I plan on talking to him if he's willing to listen, but… I think I'll have to convince him that helping me is the best way to keep Hitsugaya alive, because if I can't use him, it'll seriously get everything messed up… as well as get me killed."

"How do you know that?" the blond woman asked, a slight quiver in her voice.

I looked away, blinking back the start of more tears. "In his next fight, he won't be able to survive the battle without bankai," I whispered, my voice cracking. "If Hyorinmaru won't help me… Hitsugaya is going to die, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."

The three of us talked for at least another hour or two, discussing various abilities, battle tactics, my sort-of-kind-of-not-really up-to-episode-136 "omnipotence," and universal loopholes I might be able to use to get by without Hyorinmaru's help.

We didn't come up with much for that last one. If the damn dragon didn't decide to help me… well, I was kind of screwed. To put it VERY nicely.

After Rangiku and I left Unohana and returned to Hitsugaya's house, I made up my mind to try to talk to Hyorinmaru.

Even though less than a day had passed, and Hyorinmaru's fury probably wouldn't have lessened by much if any at all, I had to try. If I couldn't convince him to help me to save my life, then I at least needed to attempt to convince him that he should help me for his wielder's sake.

We were back in Hitsugaya's bedroom. I was sitting cross-legged on the bed with Hyorinmaru laying in my lap (I hadn't touched his hilt yet), while Rangiku stood in the doorway, watching me in concern.

The walk back had been quiet and awkward, more than the walk over there had been. Thinking back, I suppose she was in a similar position as Hyorinmaru: suddenly someone close to you had been taken away and replaced with someone else in their guise. She hadn't known what to think of me, I think, after I'd told my story.

But she was worried about me; there had been a subtle change in her demeanor after Unohana had hugged me, a change that had her go from feeling like a good friend to feeling a bit like a mom.

"Are you sure about his?" she asked carefully as I made myself comfortable.

"Nope," I replied. "But I have to try. For your Captain's sake if not for mine."

I looked up at her, reading the concern on her face.

"Don't worry; I'll be fine," I said, doing my best to actually sound reassuring. I took a deep breath.

"Wake me if I'm bleeding."

Before Rangiku could comment on that, I grabbed Hyorinmaru's hilt.

I didn't have to wait long; I woke up in the snowy plain almost instantly, covered in snow yet again and noticing a giant ice dragon's spiked tail hovering dangerously over me.

"Why are you here?" Hyorinmaru hissed, his voice full of fury and loathing as he glared at me with intimidating crimson eyes.

I pushed myself to my feet as I had last time, noticing that the dragon seemed bigger than he'd been before; more threatening, too.

"I'm here to talk," I called back, trying to keep my voice level as I held his gaze.

Hyorinmaru snarled, his eyes becoming narrowed red lines. "What could we possibly discuss, human?" he roared savagely. "You are an intruder here; leave now, or I will crush you where you stand!"

"You won't if you want your wielder to stay alive!" I shot back forcefully. "I'm here because I need your help, Hyorinmaru. Hitsugaya is gone, and unless you help me, you're going to get Hitsugaya's body killed!"

"This is your fault to begin with!" the giant dragon roared, his wings beating the air in agitation. "You took him! Now bring him back!"

"I can't! Believe me, I would if I could but I CAN'T!" I yelled as I was buffeted by gusts of wind from his wings. This whole thing was going downhill fast, and unless I could come up with something to calm him down, I was going to be one dead pancake.

"Just listen to me! I want to be gone just as much as you want me gone, but right now there's nothing we can do about it! Hitsugaya will die if you don't help me, so if you want him to live you're going to have to work with me whether you like it or not!"

"You lie! What proof could you possibly have that my wielder will perish if I do not aid you?"

I bit back a scathing retort. This wasn't going anywhere, and I'd only be digging my grave by speaking my mind.

However, Hyorinmaru seemed to take my silence as a challenge. I heard splintering ice, and quickly forced myself to move to avoid the dragon's tail, the tail that had slammed into the ground where I'd just been not a second earlier, peppering me with icicle shards.

With a roar that made the ground shake, he whipped his tail toward me again, and I had to throw myself on the ground to avoid it as the spiked tip sailed mere centimeters over my head. Had Hitsugaya been any taller, Hyorinmaru's tail would have caught his head as he was falling, doing much worse damage than a mere concussion. I thanked every god under the sun that Hitsugaya was as short as he was before swearing and jumping away from another attack.

I could feel the rush of adrenaline in my veins, giving me a boost as I moved, but it wasn't enough. The very tip hit me as it whizzed past with enough force to spin me around and actually throw me a few feet, its sharpened point creating another lovely gash (this time on my shoulder), and I swore again when the wound stung as I moved to push myself up.

I should probably have been scared out of my wits (like I'd been last time), but all I felt now was anger; anger at the dragon's damn pride, anger at his refusal to listen, anger at this whole goddamned situation…

'Damnit…' I thought, breathing hard as I shakily rose to my feet. 'This is ENOUGH. I have HAD IT!'

"Hyorinmaru, god damnit, stop attacking and just listen to me!" I roared furiously, and as I watched some invisible force seemed to stop his deadly tail just as he'd raised it to strike again.

However, in a split second it was not his tail I was faced with, but his head, his giant icicle-like fangs showing as he curled his lip contemptuously at me.

"You dare command me, human?" he hissed, his icy voice filled with primal rage as it echoed across the plain. "I am a dragon; I obey no one!"

I glared at him in frustration. This damn lizard was making me pissed off enough to swear out loud, and believe it or not, that's something I never do.

"You obey your wielder, don't you?" I retorted scathingly, remembering how I had known last time that he "bowed to no one but Hitsugaya." "Does that mean you're nothing more than a dog, a dog that listens to no one but its master and turns on others when he's not around?"

"YOU ARE TESTING MY PATIENCE, FOOLISH GIRL!"

"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT YOUR PATIENCE!" I spat, tired of arguing in circles with the damn dragon. "You're not a dog, you're a dragon! You say you obey no one, right? So what are you going to do? You're going to ignore whatever the fuck I say and decide! Decide for yourself on whether or not you want Hitsugaya to die! If you don't care about my life, well it sucks for me, but it's your choice! If you won't do this for me, then at least do it for him, damnit!"

I could feel angry tears sliding down my face, but I couldn't care less. At that point I could feel my anger slowly start to trickle away, but I wasn't done yet. No way in hell was I done yet.

"I'm willing to do what I have to in order to protect Hitsugaya, but I can't do ANYTHING unless you help me! So decide, dragon! Are you going to help me survive or are you going to run and hide because your master's gone?"

Hyorinmaru literally seethed with rage. I could feel his overpowering fury tearing the air apart, the falling snow being swept up in the maelstrom. The fierce gale tore at Hitsugaya's robes, threatening to knock me down and force me to submit to Hyorinmaru's dominating anger, but I held my ground, defiantly meeting his blood-red gaze and glaring back at him as the snow swirled around me.

"You overstep your boundaries, human," Hyorinmaru hissed dangerously, his tail thrashing the air.

"Decide!" I yelled forcefully.

His head moved lower until his crimson eyes were leveled in front of me. They were full of hatred and scorn, at me and at my very existence, but I glared at him for all I was worth, putting all my anger and frustration and everything else I could think of into my gaze.

After a moment of harsh silence, Hyorinmaru suddenly reared back and roared, his strident cry echoing through his domain and shaking the world around me, and everything went black, as if his jaws had closed around me once again.

I woke up back in the "real" world as if I had been picked up and forcefully thrown back, the mental impact leaving me winded.

Rangiku was at my side in an instant. "What happened?" she demanded.

"I chewed him out, and he didn't like it," I muttered rebelliously. Glaring at the blade as if he was the cause of all my problems, I picked him up and, in a fit of childish anger, threw the stupid sword against the wall. "Damn dragon…"

Rangiku hurried over and picked him up, glaring at me. "What happened?" she repeated, more forcefully.

I glared back, SO not in the mood for what definitely sounded like an upcoming lecture.

"I don't know, and at the moment I'm not really giving a damn," I replied darkly. "I tried to get him to talk, he attacked me, we yelled a lot, and then he roared and kicked me out. God damnit that dragon really pissed me off!"

"He didn't agree to help, did he?" Rangiku commented as she placed him on his stand.

I threw my hands up in frustration. "I don't know, okay! I don't know! He didn't say before he kicked me out!"

The blond fukutaichou huffed. "You're not helping, you know. We need Hyorinmaru's cooperation."

"How am I supposed to get it if he won't talk to me?" I yelled angrily. "The damn dragon won't get off his high horse to talk to a lowly human!"

I don't deal with anger well, as you've no doubt noticed; probably a result of keeping most of it bottled up for most of my life.

Deep down I knew Rangiku was probably just trying to calm me down, trying to get me to start thinking again instead of just blurting what I was feeling, but instead her efforts just pissed me off further.

"Why did I have to be stuck here!" I yelled to no one in particular. "I didn't ask for this, damnit!"

SMACK!

I stood there in shocked silence for several seconds, the sting of Rangiku's slap numbing the side of my face.

"Get a grip," she said forcefully, her gray eyes hard. "Yelling and crying about your situation isn't going to help anyone!"

Silently I sat back on the bed as if in a daze, my anger dissipating in an instant to be replaced with exhaustion, guilt, and self-loathing.

"God…"

I stared blankly at the wooden floor.

"I'm so weak…" I murmured. "Get me out of my comfort zone, and I start freaking out and acting completely pathetic. Hitsugaya's missing, the Winter War is coming up, and I'm pitching a fit like a petulant child." I laughed humorlessly. "I'm a fool."

"I can't claim to know what you're going through," I heard Rangiku say quietly, "but I think anyone would be stressed and scared if they were in your situation. Your whole world has suddenly changed; it's not an easy thing to deal with."

She sat down next to me and put a hand on my shoulder.

"That's no excuse to start throwing a temper tantrum," I muttered. "If Hitsugaya was stuck in my body – and hell, he probably is! – he'd be dealing with it calmly and rationally, and he'd start coming up with ways to get everything back to normal. Plus he'd have Katie to help him out since she knows me almost as well as I know me."

"Well, I'm sure your sister isn't Hyorinmaru," Rangiku retorted. "While I don't know him, Captain Hitsugaya has made several comments about how he's usually level-headed and wise. The fact that he's this angry shows that the issue is concerning him greatly, but the fact that you stood up to him says something in its own right."

I snorted. "That I have a death wish?"

She chuckled. "No, that you have a purpose; a reason for doing what you did."

I turned to look at her, quirking an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"Just what I said," she replied with a smile. "Sure, you might be stressed now, and I'm sure Hyorinmaru wasn't helping, but look at what we were doing for the past two hours! While we didn't come up with many ways to try working around Hyorinmaru, we did come up with some good combat strategies. You have the advantage of knowing what's going to happen, at least up to a certain point, which is a huge asset, especially with this war coming up soon. You handled your explanation rationally, and while it might not have been as professional as Captain's explanation would have been, it was just as detailed and just as logical. You're also putting others above yourself, even while you're in this situation. You're doing your best with what you have, and trying to work with it to find a way to get things back to normal. Believe me, Allison, you're not weak."

I couldn't help it; I smiled, Rangiku's little pep talk doing wonders to get me back on track and start thinking straight again.

"Thanks," I said with a tired smile. "I really needed that."

"The slap or the pep talk?"

"Both, I suppose." I chuckled. "Thanks for not hitting me harder, too."

She smiled back at me, her stormy eyes twinkling. "Well, Captain wouldn't appreciate me bruising his face in his absence, would he?"

"I would think he wouldn't appreciate you bruising his face at all, really."

She laughed.

After that, we pretty much just talked the whole time. It was weird; even though I didn't actually know her, and she didn't know me, I felt oddly comfortable around her. We talked like we were two good friends that hadn't seen each other in a long time, catching up on events in our lives, laughing about past blunders, giving a sympathetic pat when a bad moment was brought up… It was nice. I told Rangiku about my various conversations with Katie and debated with her on the epicness levels of some of the Bleach characters (Hitsugaya came up quite a bit, though I avoided Gin for her sake), while she told me about some of her sake escapades, what it's been like for her since she became a soul reaper, and other tidbits of her life I didn't know about.

By the time the sun had set, we had moved into the living room. I'd helped Rangiku make dinner (sort of; mostly I just passed her what she needed to cook), and we sat on the couch, chatting and eating noodles (Rangiku said it was udon) and breaded shrimp thingies (tempura). (1)

It wasn't until we were finished eating and everything had been put away that Rangiku brought up a dreaded subject:

"So, are you going to read me your haiku?" she asked, grinning as she laid down on the couch next to me.

"You seriously want to hear my crappy haiku?" I said, arching a snowy eyebrow.

"Sure, why not?" she replied cheerily. "Maybe I could offer some constructive criticism."

I gave a snort of amusement as I pulled out the paper. Since she knew I wasn't Hitsugaya, it wouldn't scar his image by reading it, so I figured I might as well do it so she'd quit nagging me about it.

"All right then, if you're so dead set on it. First one:

The sound of silence.
Dawn's light touches the sleeper.
The peach does not wake."

"Who's the peach?" Rangiku asked, lifting her head to look at me.

"Our resident Aizen fangirl," I replied. "Usually I don't like her all that much – she's not exactly one of my favorite characters – but I wrote it while I was thinking about… well, stuff."

"Is this "stuff" something you can tell me?" the fukutaichou asked curiously.

I shrugged. "I suppose I could… Let's just say there's a bunch of Bleach fans that write lots of fanfics, many of which involving pairings between the characters, and I was thinking about one of the more canon pairings."

"'Canon' meaning what?"

"Actually existing; not a figment of fan imagination. Pairings can be divided up into, in my opinion, three groups: there's canon, pairings that actually have solid evidence. Then there's the pairings that people get by reading in-between the lines, what I go ahead and call fanon since I don't know if there's an actual term for it. And then there's the crack."

"…Should I be concerned?"

"Most likely. Actually, yes. Yes you should. See, fans are crazy. They'll literally pair up anyone with anyone, no matter the compatibility… or even the gender. I think one anime-slash-video game has over NINE THOUSAND pairings (2), or ships as they tend to be called. I've seen… ah… well, some Bleach fans just really scare me sometimes. I think I'll leave it at that. ANYWAY, back to canon."

Under NO circumstances would I be mentioning yaoi. NOT. ONE. WORD.

Or HitsuMatsu for that matter. That might actually scare her, considering it's my OTP.

"While Bleach doesn't exactly focus on romance, it is there. So pairings are bound to pop up," I continued. "The more canonical pairings are IchiRuki – Ichigo and Rukia, IchiHime – Ichigo and Orihime, since some fans argue that Ichigo could end up with either one, Renji and Rukia, Byakuya and Hisana – probably the only really REAL canon pairing in Bleach, Shunsui and Nanao-"

"Those two are oddly suited for each other, aren't they?" the buxom Lieutenant giggled. "What other ones are there?"

"This is like good gossip to you or something, isn't it?" I asked, chuckling. "Well, there's those, and… crap, I can only think of two more."

"What are they?"

"…I'm not sure if I should tell you."

"Oh, come on. If it's canon like you say, most likely we already know about it, right?" Rangiku said. "Go ahead; tell me."

I stared at the ceiling as I replied, "HitsuHina, which is Hitsugaya and Momo, and then… there's you and Gin."

Rangiku was quiet for a long minute.

Talk about awkward. I knew I shouldn't have said anything.

"Yeah, fans sure are weird," I said loudly, studiously not looking in her direction. "ANYWAY, I was thinking about angsty HitsuHina Momo-in-a-coma stuff and that seemed like a good haiku to fit the moment. So yeah, let's not get all depressed and stuff, okay?"

"I'm not depressed," she said evenly, though there was a note of something in her voice that made me not believe that.

"…Is it all right if I talk about Gin?" I asked quietly. "I mean, I'm kind of used to talking about him, but if it makes you uncomfortable-"

"No, it's all right," she said, propping herself up with her elbow. "In fact, you could tell me what you think of him."

"Hmm… Well, I think he's pretty cool," I said, shrugging. "I mean, the way he talks and the way he smiles and always keeps his eyes closed just makes him seem all cool and mysterious to me. Plus he's got that kind of… oh, I don't know, snarky? Anyway, he's just got a sort of aura around him that makes him – to me, anyway – seem more like a prankster than someone actually bad. Kind of sadistic sometimes, maybe, but not bad. He's a great character in my opinion, but… I just don't get him. I suppose that's a good thing, otherwise trying to figure out his motives wouldn't be as fun, but I don't know why he did what he did. It's irritating because he doesn't seem to have any motives!"

Rangiku gave a tired sigh. "I suppose that makes two of us," she murmured, and I could tell she was getting lost in thought, most likely remembering her past. "Even with as long as I've known him, I've never been able to figure him out…"

I sat up as a thought hit me, and I smiled. "Hey, Rangiku."

She glanced up at me.

"How 'bout I make you a promise?" I offered. "Help me learn to fight, and I promise I'll help you get Gin back."

Her stormy gray eyes widened. "Allison-"

"I'm serious," I said, cutting her off. "I'll drag him out of Hueco Mundo and force him to tell you why he left if that's what it takes, with or without Hyorinmaru. At the very least you deserve to know that much."

"But… What if we can't…"

"What if we can't what?" I said. "I just made you a promise, and I'm gonna make damn sure I see it through. So now I have no excuse to give up and stop trying, and neither do you, since you're gonna help me get there. Plus… I don't think it'll be as hard as you think it will."

She was sitting up now, looking at me as if she was trying to discover some hidden intent. "What do you mean?" she asked.

I smiled softly. "He still loves you, Rangiku. I'm sure of it."

Yeah, the whole thing was probably really idealistic, but even though hell would freeze over before I learned how to properly fight, Hitsugaya had the power to actually do that! I would learn how to fight even if Hyorinmaru didn't want to help, and I was going to help Rangiku get Gin back, plotline or not!

"So don't start moping and thinking about the past, okay?" I continued as she stared at me in shock. "We'll get Gin back, and we'll kill Aizen, and we'll get Hitsugaya back, too, so focus on that! I'll browbeat Hyorinmaru as much as I have to in order to get him to work with me! Let's both work hard to get things back to normal, all right?"

Rangiku returned my soft smile. "I didn't know it was your turn to give the pep talk," she said softly, and I could hear a small note of amusement in her tone.

I snorted. "Yeah, well that was a really sucky pep talk compared to what you told me a few hours ago," I said, "but then again, you're not being a crybaby."

She chuckled. "No, I suppose I'm not." She gazed at the ceiling as she sighed and said, "You make it sound like it'll be so easy to accomplish, though. Do you know that we'll be able to do it?"

"You know I technically can't tell you that," I replied. "Buuuuut… no, I don't know. That's why I'm sure it'll work."

She quirked an eyebrow. "…You lost me."

"Since I don't know what will happen with that, I can't know if we'll fail or not," I explained. "So, being the optimist that I am, I'm going to see things as half-full, so I'll believe I can do it, so I actually can do it! If you're still confused, just ignore me. That's my typical Allison logic. And also possibly Orihime logic."

"…I'll just have to take your word for it," she said with an amused smile.

"Plus by that time I'll have most likely convinced Hyorinmaru to help, so it'll be even easier to accomplish!" I said cheerily. Sheesh. Since I started spouting stuff about promising to save Gin – which came out of nowhere, by the way – it was like I was the one getting the pep talk; I felt like I'd just pep talked myself, I was so peppy.

"All right," Rangiku said, and I could tell she was feeling much less depressed now. "I'll work hard at training you. We'll get Captain Hitsugaya and Gin back, and we'll make it through the war."

I grinned, happy that I had gotten the conversation back to happier territory.

"That we will, Rangiku, that we will."

Author's Note: That whole Gin promise thing was soooo random… I just came up with that on the spot. Not sure if I really even like it, but since I have come to realize that I actually do like Chapter 3 instead of being completely dissatisfied with it like I said earlier, I'll just give it time. Maybe I'll end up liking that part, too.

But probably not. I really hate that last section as a whole. D:

ANYWAY.

Here's some info for those that care:

(1) Udon and tempura- Udon, copy-pasted from Wikipedia, is a type of thick wheat-flower noodle of Japanese cuisine. It's usually served hot as noodle soup in its simplest form (kake udon), in a mildly flavored broth called kakejiru which is made of dashi (quote, "a class of soup and cooking stock"), soy sauce (shōyu), and mirin (a common condiment in Japanese cuisine). Tempura is "a Japanese dish of seafood or vegetables that have been battered and deep fried," and is a common topping for udon. The tempura I'm referring to is battered shrimp (not deep fried). And that's your Japanese food lesson for today. :D

(2) "I think one anime-slash-video game has over NINE THOUSAND pairings."- This actually isn't me making an anime reference. I'm referring to the Pokémon anime. I read somewhere that it has over nine thousand named pairings, probably because someone took the names and faces of EVERY TRAINER from EVERY EPISODE and just put everything in a big blender. I mean, COME ON! That is TOO MANY PAIRINGS!

Hey, while I'm on that subject, can someone tell me if there's a list of Bleach ships? Because I'm making a list of my own and coming up with names for them (and there's a reason behind my naming, too), but it's kind of pointless if there's already a list out there. If someone could direct me to it, GREAT! If not, then SHIP-FIC, HERE WE COME! I'll take each pairing (that ISN'T completely creepy and worthy of brain bleach) and do a oneshot or something, and it'll have the name of the ship as the chapter title. Tell me if you're interested in me doing that, too, while you're at it.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, BRING ME A COOKIE!

I'll shut up now. :D

Comments and constructive criticism are appreciated as usual (I could seriously use some for this chapter…), and if you want the next chapter out ASAP, you'll send in a nice little review! :D C'mon, click the button!

YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO. :D