Chapter 4: Dreams to Reality

`The hall felt less comfortable with each passing second, Lavi dually noted. The event from yesterday was still being discussed and it only made him feel more uncomfortable. Everything felt weird now that Allen would have no innocence and left arm and was in a minor coma. Howe could Allen not really be Crown Clowns accommodator. It didn't feel right. Scratch that, It didn't make sense. The innocence that Allen was born with that innocence and yet, it was basically just that Allen was just a handler who would give it to its actual owner. Like Allen was just being used till the innocence found its rightful owner. What was the point of him having it if it was just going to be taken and given to someone else? It was cruel. Like his…no…Antonio's innocence was only doing that to spite him. Because of it, Allen had suffered so much and when he finally was welcomed to the world, he had to start again. Lavi sighed trying to diminish any sign of his annoyance. Screw annoyance, he was pissed off. Plus, to top that off, now he had to help Antonio train with his innocence. It was all just wrong. He just felt like something was going to happen.

What was worse was the fact that his innocence wasn't showing resistance, or anything for that matter. It was working in perfect sync with him. Lavi held his breath and patiently waited for Antonio to activate the innocence. He wanted Allen to wake up. He wanted Allen to quickly wake up from this 'coma' so that he could take it back. No one should be able to control that fragment apart from him. Screw being a bookman. No matter what bookman said, bookmen were still human. They still would have some human emotions.

It was dark. Everything was dark and deathly silently. And he wasn't moving. He couldn't move. His body was chained down to the chair that he was in. The dark was clouding his senses making everything hard for him to identify. All he knew was it was too dark. He felt frighteningly comfortable. So much so that he felt lifeless. His eyes were a dark dull grey taking on the mixture of both worlds. For some reason that was repeating in his mind. Step into the world darker than black and whiter than white. Yet he was in grey. Everything was thrown off. Where was he anyway? He uncomfortably shifted and was responded by something hard and cold tightening its grip on him. Then his eyes widened. He was chained down. Allen bit back a scream as he tried et again to break through the chains but each time he tried the chains only responded by getting tighter. Before he knew it he was bleeding. It stung.

"Stop or that will cut you in half"

Allen froze. His mind barely registered the chains drawing blood through the long trench coat that he had just realised that he was wearing. That voice. His head snapped up and he felt himself freeze at the recognition. Or, similarity. It was frightening.

"Tyki?" The counterpart smiled and moved closer making Allen's breath hitch on response. When he was close enough it was then that Allen felt himself freeze. No movement or response, just freeze. There was a kind of pressure on him, like gravity, that prevented him to even move. He was only able to gulp and feel beads of sweat break out on his skin.

"Now" The other spoke. His voice was melodious yet childish. Similar to his, Allen noticed. The other walked towards the chair that he was seated at and dropped to his knees silently with his grin never leaving his face. Up close His appearance didn't look like Tyki's one bit. Only the hair. Only the style. He didn't look like Tyki one bit. In fact, the other teen in front of him that had just knelt was grinning.

He resembled two different people. It was wrong.

It gave him evidence of two things.

One, he knew he would not get the answer to, while two, the answer was obvious.

'The fourteenth and Man were brothers.'

Allen's breath hitched again and he was left staring at all the teenage features in front of him.

'Did Mana love me?'

'Mana kinda lost it when his brother died'

Allen's mind was screaming at him. The background was dying black with it. Did Mana love him, or was only because he harboured the fourteenth. It was heart wrenching as if he had gotten his answer. He features resembled man in minor ways but in the most obvious ways it mirrored someone else. As if Allen was staring into a distorted mirror. Black hair, no scar. Grey skin. Yet…he still looked like a mirror image.

"Do I look like Joyd now?"

The matron was walking quickly. In fact, she was panicking. Almost running. What was Levierrier thinking. She really hated that man. He cared nothing about them apart from his own life. He even abandoned his own family to die and selfishly took over. Now he was planning to rip apart someone else's family. And he was doing a devastatingly good job. What on earth was he thinking. Was the man born to be the reincarnation of that sadistic German bastard. She didn't believe in that rubbish but here it seemed to make sense. If so, then Levierrier was rejected as an artist before.

She shook her head and entered the medical department feeling the same annoying dread as always take over her. Who ever said working in a hospital was an easy thing to do. It hurt both mentally and physically. There wasn't a day where she regretted deciding to work for the order. A normal hospital would have been much easier. Here, if the superiors wanted something or someone for and experiment they got it. Here, people would appear twice as injured as any stranger you would find in a normal hospital. Here, the wounds where inhuman and life altering. It was disturbing to know someone and then try your hardest to save them only for them to die. It was heart wrenching. What was worse was that the exorcists just kept getting younger and younger each time. Children who hadn't even gotten to live were dying.

She stopped at the door she was at reluctantly before pushing forwards and walking in. Not the time to be thinking of such things. The latest patient had internal injuries and he was just 16yrs old. He hadn't even been in the order for a year and he had so many problems . She felt sorry for him. Such a sweet boy. Levierrier had gone too far this time yet there was nothing she could do. Nothing that anyone could do.

"Has he reacted to anything?" She asked alerting the other nurses and doctors of her presence. She also took note that the boy was breathing hard as if he was in a panicked state. Any little movement or reaction would be crucial. If they didn't take notice of any reaction it would prove more difficult problems. Working at the Dark order was a very hard job as it always left her stressed whenever she was able to take time off. She had also aged dramatically with the stress. She used to be a carefree teenager like the others and now she entered the order and was struggling. It wasn't like she was regretting her choice as she met varieties of people. But she would have like to have chosen a different career aspect.

"We've given him some morphine to try and take him out of his state of unconsciousness, but that has done nothing but cause his pulse to rise. Although he is just barely stable. It's like he's fighting his state of consciousness and the whole in his heart is also causing problems. We cannot perform surgery with him in this state. Maam" The doctor said. He turned to her with the notepad at hand and she gave a depressed sigh then walked to the boy's side. He was still in the same unconscious state. The coma was a shock but it was in itself a relief as there could have been worse problems that could have appeared. The whole in his heart reopened as his innocence left him which could have killed him instantly with internal bleeding. Talk about fortunate. The only problem was he immediately fell into a coma, and coma's were, daresay, unpredictable. Who knows how long it would be till he wakes up or, will he even wake up? Those were the depressing questions there. Still she would put her faith in him. Child or not, he was proving to own the status of a General, even if he didn't possess his innocence.

The fourteenth moved away. He just stood and turned away from him. Then with a click of his fingers the chains shattered. Allen remained seated though staring at the retreating figure. Just what the hell did he mean by that? Just as fast as the chains shattered, they reformed but only around him, nto tincluding the throne like seat. Allen ignored it.

"What do you mean you're not 'exactly' going to control me? Isn't that what you Noah's do?" He shouted. The fourteenth just turned to him. His expression was a mixture of bored and annoyed./ It took Allen by surprise that he flinched in the seat still not standing. He didn't understand why he was so uncomfortable around him. It wasn't because of the resemblance that he thought was the reason Mana adopted him. Nor was it because of the fact that the other was a Noah. It was more like just his personality was…abnormal. Scary in a way. His behaviour was scary as he was so laid back and his thoughts kept going back to how the fourteenth was able to kill all the others of his family. That's what was frightening. How they could be just as human as everyone else yet so sadistic.

"Like I said. I don't plan to kill you. Never believe in Cross. He always lies" He said. He sounded so care free. His attitude spelt fear though. Allen hissed and looked around quickly at all the dead trees. This background, it was exactly the same as the one before. Dark Crimson sky, Dead trees, and the black moon in the centre. Not the place he wanted to return to. It was the reason he hadn't slept in the first place. Allen hissed silently feeling sweat across his temple. What now?

"What now! Do you plan to kill me and take over now that I don't possess innocence!" The other shook his head. Allen cautiously stood up onto his feet keeping a steady gaze on the Noah the whole time. The sound of crumbling quickly filled his ears swept with the wind though shaking his concentration. Allen's head snapped back in panic as he turned to stare at the seat…or the remainder of the carved seat, almost like a throne, crumbled. Simply crumbled. It looked like it was reflecti9ng a part of his soul by the way the pieces turned quickly into rumble forming cracks upon the still undamaged pieces and breaking it away before landing and sinking into the floor. Then, before he knew it, the pebble like path flooded. The rocky path of marbles and pebbles sunk being swallowed by black oil, and he was standing directly in the middle of it. Allen quickly spun back to the fourteenth in sheer panic feeling ridiculous for asking such a stupid question. It was basically like asking to be attacked wasn't it. The fourteenth was still looking at him with the same bored expression then his head tilted.

"If you think like that then you'll ruin the mood even more" He said. Allen froze. His resentment was returning.

"Then WHAT Happened!"

"You also won't get an answer from me unless you kill the hostility" He flinched. What hostility?

"I'm not being hostile"

"Whatever you say kid" The fourteenth replied. Allen was left staring at him. Jeez, what was with all the Noah's?

"We're still human kid"

Allen flinched again and looked back up towards the other in confusion.

"I didn't say anything"

"Doesn't mean you didn't think about it" Allen froze, yet again. Could this guy read his mind?

"Yep" Allen was left staring at the fourteenth after his immediate answer to his unasked question. He began walking towards Allen alerting him of his smile that was mischievous and sinister in a way. Allen automatically stepped backwards. His leg was halted though. When he looked down he realised that the oiled surface had changed so that a it had outstretched and pulled his left leg down a bit restricting his movements. This was a bad sign that he wasn't going to like whatever was going on and there wasn't a thing that he could do. Answering his thoughts the chains tightened. He shuddered against them and struggled to pull himself free feeling panic creep its way into his sense. Still, he took the risk. He'd rather die and have some knowledge than die and have nothing at all.

"What do you plan to do?" Allen shouted. The fourteenth just grinned.

"I'll explain everything later" He whispered. He pushed a finger into Allen's temple and immediately a shadow took over his vision then as he stared in front of him he froze with recognition. Instead of the lookalike mirror, the same shadow that haunted his dreams grinned at him. He stared into hollow eyes unable to pull away and felt shudders climb along his body. Then the curved smile widened and Allen felt his skin pale at an impossible rate.

"For now, See you soon" It whispered. Shadows rose all around them but he was still paralyzed from fear. Then, like a waterfall, the shadows rushed engulfing him. He suddenly felt like he was falling through oil and couldn't breathe. It was flooding his system rushing in through his nose and mouth and even eyes blinding him with its blackness. He tried to scream but all that came out was a gurgled ripple in the sea of black. Tears escaped his eyes and he finally loosened unable to breath in the current world. He had lost and now it was the end.

Allen's eyes snapped open and he immediately fell into gasping for air and choking. His heart was practically pounding in his chest trying to escape from the mental torment. Allen was left choking in ghis spot and at reflex he gripped at his chest in pain. He couldn't breathe. He felt like something was burning in him. After a few minutes the pain subsided leaving him just gasping for air. What had happened? Was that a nightmare. Talk about scary. I t was more graphic and frightening than the last one that he had. It was too realistic. The loast time that he had slept was a week ago and it was also the last time he ate, wasn't it? Everything was to stressing on him. Now what was going to happen.

Allen was breathing hard and he turned to the machine that had been beeping loudly eversince he woke up. Why was there an tube connected to his chest? Now that he thought about it, where was he? It looked like the clinic. He fingered a plastic coated tube connected to his chest that was attached to the tube then noticed how light everything felt. And how lightheaded he felt. Something was missing…from his… side?

Alllens head automatically snapped to his left side and his mouth opened in a silent gasp. How hhe wished everything was just a nightmare. But it defiantly wasn't.

He wouldn't be in so much pain if it was just a dream. That's why…It looked like his arm had been completely cut off neatly by the shoulder. Like he had removed his sword. His bangs covered his eyes and his teeth grit together. This wasn't a dream. Allen started shaking. His teeth were clenched tightly together as he attempted to force down his upcoming crys. He really had lost his innocence. It wasn't like last time. It wasn't that it was destroyed. No, this time it had completely left him. Willingly left him. His innocence left him. He felt betrayed. He couldn't stop trembling even if he tried. His innocence left him. Allen's hands fumbled quickly as the beeping in the room increased as well as his heart. He couldn't stop trembling and could feel himself hyperventilating. Everything was wrong.

Unfair. Unjust.

He felt like his entire existence was basically a lie. To be used. He was simply being used. Allen's fingers fumbled across himself and the shock pads and IV tubes were ripped off. The beeping stopped. His eyes felt blurry and his throat heavy, but still he refused to allow tears to escape. What use was it to cry here.

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was nothing but…but…

'Ink on paper'

Ink on paper. The words echoed in his head for some reason that he didn't understand or remember. But, it was matching.

A loud shrill echoed from his room. And Allen faced the side to where the shrill came from. It was loud. Obnoxious in a way, yet he felt mad. Why? He was smiling. He was still able to wear Mana's mask even though there was a loud crack that ran straight6 through it.

He was still smiling.

"SUPERVISOR! Walker- Kun has woken"

Komui's head snapped up instantly form his desk. He paused for a while still dazed about the information but then he felt his eyes widen even more. Allen was awake? That was great. He was out of his coma. It had been over a week.

The matron stood at the door then he noted how the usually stern woman looked distressed and worried. That was never a good sign. A loud shrill echoed off the hallway and the look on the other woman's face was priceless. Utter fear. He felt his heart jump with the noise.

"Hurry" She called running in the direction of the infirmary. That was a rare sight so he knew something was wrong. The shrill was a drastic fear. He was sure that everyone else heated it too.

He jumped up from his desk leaving his report to rush over and find out who was in danger while he silently prayed that it would not be Allen. Death might be an escape in the war, but there were people that needed him. Selfish or not, he didn't want to lose a member of his family.

He could finish writing about Antonio's progress later. Things had changed over the past week and if Allen was fine, he would have to tell him the news about his status, which, in his opinion, was worse than death.

Everything would be different and it would be best for him to be the bearer of bad news.

Komui halted. Not slowed, halted. Better him than Levierrier. He slowly began to walk following the direction the head nurse had stopped and he nervously peeked in past her through the doorway that she was. A breath of relief was let out. There he was. Obviously in some pain but alive. In fact he was even smiling like nothing was wrong. As much of a relief it was he felt grief and the burden of the news within him.

Allen was so young…yet he was destined to suffer.

Allen's head popped up and he stared at the head nurse feeling himself breaking more under her gaze. Still, he felt his smile broaden. How was it that he couldn't stop he didn't know. The older woman rushed to his side with annoyance evident all over her face, quickly snapping something on the machine which, to his relief, stopped the high pitched and piercing sound. Then she sighed.

"You mustn't worry us like that Walker" The woman muttered. He stared at her speechless then sighed. She really looked tired.

"Allen-kun?" Komui interrupted. The white haired teen turned to face the person who stood in the doorway. He felt his face curve into a smile.

"Hi, Komui."

"You really had us worried. How do you feel Allen?" Komui continued. He looked a bit uncomfortable to be there Allen noticed. The teen gripped his left shoulder nervously. There really was nothing there.

"I'll be fine" He whispered. From the look on Komui's face he could tell that there was something else to his question. Something to do with his arm. It was unsettling but he still weakly smiled feeling exhausted.

"How long have I been out?" He asked. This time the head nurse answered.

"You've been in a coma for a week now" She answered. He dually nodded not really caring. It was a surprise to the two other occupants in the room. Still he ignored them. He had been in that world for a week. It felt like an hour at most. It really was funny how time worked. Speaking of which. Everyone would have probably been given missions or training.

Antonio must have been training.

He didn't want to know about it. That innocence that he was born with was now in possession of someone else. It simply spelled out betrayal as an emotion of his. Allen's eyes glazed over at the thought. What would happen to him now. He wasn't an exorcist anymore and was also amputated of his formerly deformed limb. It was probably deformed because he wasn't the original owner. Like that gladiator…Victorio. He was just being used by innocence.

"Allen-kun?" Komui called. He hadn't realised when the supervisor had moved into thw small room. The look on his face showed that there was some news to be said that he wouldn't like.

"What else Komui?" The boy asked putting on another smile without even realising it. It had become so easy. Komui gulped. He noticed how the older man fidgeted. He wasn't going to like this one bit. Still, how could things get worse?

"You've been rebuked" The man said. Allen stared at him refusing to frown.

How could things get worse?

"Since you no longer possess innocence, you are no longer an exorcist"

He nodded.

How could things get worse?

"Does that mean that I have to leave?" He questioned. If he had to leave everything behind he would probably commit suicide. It would end his pain and keep the fourteenth at bay.

"No." Komui continued. Allen's head perked up.

"Since you know about the order you will stay here and continue to work"

"As what?"

Komui gulped then changed into his serious mode where he was could seem heartless. Allen just stared at him with his eyes glazing over. He repeated the question and Komui sighed then turned away from him ready to leave. He stopped just at the door and turned to look over his shoulder.

"You will be a finder putting your life on the line from now on" The man said. Then he left. Allen just stared at where he had left from. He was frozen and felt his previous thoughts replay in his mind.

His existence was simply to be used. He wouldn't make and walk on his own path. He was simply to be used.

How could the situation get worse?

That's HOW! Allen mentally screamed. His head fell backwards and let his head hit the pillow then turned his head to face the opposite direction of the other occupant. He heard a sigh and then footsteps leading out of the room and let out a breath that he didn't even realise that he was holding. Great, just great. Now he was going to just be put out there to die. He would be basically going first in the rush, to die. Just great.

How could things get worse?

"It'll be fine.

Allen shuddered. He quickly snapped up from the bed and looked around feeling anxiety rush with adrenalin through his system. There was no one else in the room and that voice was the last thing he ever wanted to here. It hoped that it was only from his nightmare.

It wasn't.

"Over here" It whispered. Allen's head snapped to the direction of the voice and he felt another cold shudder run through him as his gaze settled on a long mirror on his left side. There, instead of the familiar ominous shadow that he Had forced himself to get used to, it was fading. And quickly at that too. Like someone was blowing ashes away into the wind. And underneath the cleaning shadow, was none other than the fourteenth himself.

"Told you I'd see you soon." He whispered. Each word sent a cold ice creeping up Allen's spine. The golden eyes. The ashen grey skin. And the black formed crosses. He gulped while the fourteenth smile broadened.

"Call me Neah"

Yoohooo. Fianlly Finished YEAH! Hope you enjoyed, please continue to review as it motivates me. AND SEND ME SOME IDEAS!PLEASE!