AN: Thank you to everyone who has been reading. I was out on the deck in the backyard this morning typing this and I decided that the sounds of nature aren't enjoyable when trying to write. Shit was distracting. Anyways I hope that the connection of what is going on in this chapter is easy to understand. Just because it was easy to understand in my head doesn't mean it actually is cause well sometimes I think just a little too differently.
Nero's mind faded between a calming blackness and dream's of repressed memories. The scene was familiar to him, even though it had happened years before. It was one that he hadn't thought about in just as many years though. His dreams were the only place where he had no control over suppressing the memories.
The dream began to play at as if it was currently happening. Nero was at home with Kyrie, the two of them had just went into the drawing room of the house. Kyrie sat down at the piano that was located in the large room in a far corner. She placed her fingers on the keys, pausing for a moment as she waited for Nero to sit down on the couch in the room. As soon as he seated her fingers began to glide over the keys. Something that required years of practice on her part.
Five years had passed since the day that Nero went in for his first operation. Kyrie had tried hard not to notice the changes that had been happening to Nero but the change in his personality was starting to be the one that was affecting her the most. His moods were so severe now it was hard to pretend anymore that nothing was happening to him. Kyrie continued to play as she watched Nero beginning to relax on the couch.
The sound from the piano was a soothing welcome from his everyday struggles. The music soon became an easy escape for Nero. It eventually became the only way for him to drown out the noises of his everyday life along with the noises from the memories always threatening to overtake him.
Nero laid his head against the back of the couch as he let his legs hang off the edge. He closed his eyes, allowing him more focus on the music. The notes flowed easily from the piano, each touch of the keys sounding like it was meant to. Nero began to relax as his mind was being taken away from him once more.
Kyrie's eyes flickered away from the keys for a brief moment to look at the boy on the couch. With here eyes locked on him, her fingers slipped on a key causing a loud noise that was clearly not a part of the intended music. Nero sat up quickly at the disturbance looking over at Kyrie who was now so focused on the piano it was almost as if it was the only thing in the room.
Kyrie focused one more on the ivory keys in front of her as her fingers slowly started the song again. Out of the corner of her eye she could see Nero lay his head back down on the back of the couch. His brown shaggy hair that now was streaked with white fell in front of his eyes. Kyrie knew there was only a matter of time before his chestnut hair disappeared completely to be replaced by this bright white. Kyrie's heart ached as she remembered the kids at school. It was becoming common for the kids in their grade to tease Nero since it wasn't exactly normal for a thirteen year old to have white in their hair. With the change in his hair came the change in his eyes. The emerald eyes that she was so used to look at everyday were slowly fading. Now when she looked at him a pair of dark blue eyes would meet hers.
Nero continued to lay on the couch unmoving as he listened to her play, letting the music flow into him. It was the only time her could rest, when he was listening to Kyrie play for him. There was something about the way her delicate fingers made the music sound that helped him for a brief moment in his day forget about everything. An unspoken agreement had formed between the two of them. Everyday after school they would come into this room and she would play the piano without saying a word to him. She did this to help in and partly because she hoped that the boy she used to know would eventually come back through this. The boy who used to laugh, play and fully be there for her would come back to her and she would no longer have to see the boy who walked around in a sullen state and only talked when he wanted to. Even then when he spoke it was with an attitude that she had never seen in anyone their age.
All Kyrie knew was that he was this way because of the procedures he went through every few months. In between the operations check-ups were required. Kyrie didn't know what went on at these operations or appointments that came after but Nero came home each time with his arm in a bandage. The last time was the worst for her when he came home looking to have a sickly yellow tint to his skin as it stretched tightly around his bones. He looked better now but all that meant to Kyrie was that the next time he went in he would come home in a worse condition.
It had been three months since that operation. There was no longer a bandage covering his arm. When the bandage came off though Nero resorted to wearing long sleeves on his shirts or to jackets even in the hot summer months. Kyrie looked over at Nero letting her playing slow down as she did so. This time she was more aware of the keys beneath her fingers as she continued to look at him. She stopped playing completely as she tested to make sure that Nero was asleep. The only movement coming from him was the slow rise and fall of his chest.
Kyrie walked across the wooden floor barefoot, her light footsteps barely making any noise as she made her way over to the couch. She sat down on the empty spot on the couch next to him. The couch sank in with her weight moving Nero's position the slightest. She thought she could she his eyes pinch closed even tighter as she moved on the couch. Kyrie didn't move to make sure that Nero was asleep. With a few seconds without a movement she placed her fingers lightly on the sleeve of his shirt. After a few more seconds passed she rolled the cloth up passed his elbow. With the skin on his forearm exposed she began to take in every detail of the pink, purple and white scars of skin. Each color representing time that had passed after each incision. Some of the scars were raised his on his skin from the deeper cuts. There was a hesitation in her fingers as she let her hand hover above his arm. Static flowed between them and the hairs on his arm slowly began to raise to meet her finger tips. Her fingers closed the gap between them.
A shock ran through his body as the dream was quickly pulled away from his mind. The images were quickly replaced with the calming black that he had surrounded him earlier. Even in this state Nero was semi-conscience of the tings that were happening to him. A small pulsing started to beat in his demonic arm. It was the only part of his body that he was starting to feel. The pulse was erratic at first, his body startled by the feeling of it. The pulse soon slowed to a normal pace.
The scene behind his eyes stayed black as he kept his attention focused on the slow pulse he could feel under his skin. A welcome from the memories that had been pulling him under. Nero concentrated on each slow beat, each one a small throb under his skin. With each beat he hoped to regain any other feeling, wanting the nothingness that enveloped his senses to finally disappear. Small prickles began to run up and down the length of his arm. They seemed to have a point of concentration on his forearm as he tried to focus on the feeling growing under his skin.
Just as quickly as the feeling came to him it was abruptly pulled away from him as he fell right back into his dream where it had left off.
Nero's hand was gripped tightly around Kyrie's wrist. Her eyes were wide with panic as Nero stared at her with a fierceness she had never seen from him. Her fingers began to tremble as they started to turn a deep red.
"You're hurting me." Her words were barely a whisper but Nero knew what they were. His hand let go of its rough grasp. He pulled down the fabric of his shirt to once again cover his arm. Kyrie leaned away from him, her eyes too afraid to meet his.
Nero sat there watching her retreat into herself. Nero continued to look at her as he waited for an apology to come out of her.
"You weren't asleep were you?" She continued to keep her eyes on the old French floral pattern on the couch as she asked the question.
"No, I wasn't." Nero replied sharply as he stood up form the couch. Kyrie's eyes shot upward to see if he would leave the room.
"I…I just wanted to see. You never talk about what goes on when you leave here for those operations or even they they're about. Ever since that first time, I have been worried about you. Why wont you talk to me?" Her voice broke as she spoke but she continued on until she finally finished asking him what she had been wanting to.
Nero looked down at Kyrie who's eyes were shinning in the bright light of the room, the tears slowly starting to escape her eyes.
"We've had this conversation a dozen times. Why do you do it when you know I wont give you an answer? When you know that every time you end up more upset than the last. Why do you do it to yourself?" The agitation was clear in his voice as he looked down at her.
"Because its obvious you've changed and I just want to know what it is that is changing you." Kyrie was standing now just a few feet away from Nero. The fire for wanting answers was burning through her as the tears were beginning to dry.
"Just drop it." Nero's voice was loud but suppressed as he spoke through a clenched jaw and the grinding of his teeth. His fingers curled into fists at his sides, his nails digging crescent shapes into the flesh of his palm.
"At least answer me this, do you still scream when you're there?" The question caught Nero off guard. It was so unusual from her normal onslaught of questions. He knew she was talking about the first day that he went in and how Kyrie had waited for him there only to hear his screams coming from behind one of the doors. How even then he was more concerned for her than himself.
His anger began to dissolve as his hands fell to his sides. She continued to look up at him, letting their eyes meet. "No, I don't scream anymore." It was the only true answer he could give her. He didn't scream anymore, no matter how much pain there was. In his mind there was always that fear that somehow Kyrie would hear him going through that pain. It was unbearable to him to think of her being there, that she would hear those things. He wanted in that moment to tell her that it didn't hurt, that the scars on his arm were nothing. He couldn't bring himself to lie to her though. It was better to just say nothing.
A small smile played at Kyrie's lips. All of her hope that he would one day be the boy that she knew so well was coming back to her. She stepped closer to him, her eyes gazing up at his with intensity. "If I'm close enough, I can see small flecks of green still left in your eyes." She moved even closer to him letting her chest press against his.
"What are you doing?" Nero whispered as her eyes stayed locked onto his.
"I just want to memorize them like this before they're completely changed too." They stood together like that, completely still for minutes. Nero could feel the hover of her hand as it lingered in the air above his arm.
"Its ok." He whispered to her as he closed his eyes. That was all she needed to hear from him as both her hands delicately lifted up the sleeve to his shirt once more. This time he have her time to look at all the imperfections of his arm knowing that this would be the only time he would let her do so. He opened his eyes back up as he watched her carefully. Her fingers hesitated again even with the open invitation. The flicker behind her eyes disappeared as her fingers touched his arm once more.
The dream was ripped away from him once more. The veil of darkness once more enveloping him. The feeling of the pulse in his arm was back immediately. The tingle under his skin was there in his arm, concentrated more to one spot on his forearm of his Devil Bringer. The feeling of fire licking away at his skin was more dominant to that one area as the tingle was more of a background feeling. The feeling stayed in his arm, the only place in his body that he could feel anything still. His whole arm pulsed but that one area just above his wrist seemed to be burn with an intensity as if he skin really were on fire.
He would have thought that the pain would be unbearable but there was a comfort to him that Nero didn't know could exist. The dream didn't seem to be coming back to him. Nero began to let his mind rest as the burning in his arm started sending warmth through the rest of his body slowly. He finally let his mind start to rest as the pulse in his arm stayed steady along with the other feelings starting to come back to him.