A/N: Yet again a lovely warning concerning gore.
Chapter Nine : Greeting Death
Kristen could see a lot of things, but her body was incapable of moving. In the distance even in this bleak, still darkness, the How could be seen. It was so close, so close to being safe and returned to their families. Granted there was only fifty soldiers returning from being trapped behind the gate, but, it was better than not returning at all. Each individual, whether they be satyr or tiger, badger or bear, feared for the loss of the one person that had saved them. Slowly they watched her choke on her own blood, her wounds far too great.
Bane rode on faster, his hooves grinding into the grass and dirt. He was greeted by a swarm of his fellow Narnian's coming out of the How. In particular he could see the joy on his mother's face as she looked at him. But the joy was replaced with horror as her eyes then befell to a person on his back, staining his coat crimson. Blood was dripping from Kristen's body, slowly patting onto the stone beneath her from her limp fingertips.
"What on earth is going..." Peter started but he spotted wounded Narnian soldiers and then spotted Bane.
"My lord, she is injured gravely. We need help, she needs help!" he called.
With the help of his fellow soldiers, they relieved Kristen from his back and lay her on the stone ground. She choked, her chest heaving and blood pouring out of her neck more. Peter ran forward, diving down to his knees as he pressed his hand over the wound on her neck and looked down at Kristen. Her eyes were wild, unfocused, looking around, but not seeing anything or anyone.
"Get Lucy! Quickly!"
But there was no need because Edmund, Lucy, and Susan were running up the steps and once they saw Kristen they all ran towards her huddling around her. Susan propped her head up on her lap, and was smoothing her blood soaked hair out of her face.
Edmund set to work as he snapped off the feathered end of the arrow in her shoulder and with a powerful tug he ripped it from her body. An unearthly scream filled the air, making her neck wound rip open more and the scream was silenced with the gurgling of blood pouring down her esophagus.
Everyone was gazing on, their head bowed and hearts heavy as they watched Kristen suffer.
Lucy trembled as her hands uncorked her cordial and with the help of Susan, got Kristen's lips to part. The juice dropped down and into her mouth and Susan quickly shut her mouth and held it closed tightly by placing her hand over it. She choked more, but it was the only way to get the healing juice to get inside her body and do its job. She flailed, her hands clawing, but soon she fell still.
Her eyes were wide as they stared heavenward and everyone was watching and wondering Peter reached up shakily back towards her neck with blood stained hands and felt her pulse. It was rapid, and the skin beneath his hand mended but not without leaving a nice faint scar along her neck.
It was moments before she sat up quickly gasping for air and frightened, crawled away from the Pevensie's on her hands and knees. She turned crouching as she looked at them with a crazed look. Lucy stood and walked towards her, her hand stretched out.
"It's alright, it's Lucy. It's your Lucy." she said sweetly. "Remember me?"
"Lucy." she sat back on her legs and looked up at the young girl.
Suddenly images flooded her mind, and she felt eerily cold. Caspian's face, pain, and then...the White Witch.
"Where is Caspian!" she stood quickly and everyone flinched away from her as if she was a wild animal.
"We haven't seen him in hours. You're still in shock, you have to lie down." Edmund tried to rationalize.
"No, no...no I'm fine...Caspian. I need to–find him." and with a blink of an eye she had dissapeared with inhuman speed.
"Where did she go?" Susan asked boldly as she stood up. "She just healed, we have to find her! Search the How!"
When Susan was worried or upset, she turned mightily commanding. It was the only way she felt things would get done properly and this situation was no exception.
Lucy looked about as everyone filed back into the How but she ran up and grabbed Peter by the hand, stopping him. He looked down at his little sister with worry.
"What is it Lu?"
"The Stone Table. Don't you remember what happened to Kristen there?"
"Your right. We'll look there first."
Peter motioned for Edmund to follow as he drew his sword and the two brothers set off in a sprint towards the room where the Stone Table was being held and the next stage of the battle was going to take place.
It was far from being over for anyone.
Kristen appeared in the Stone Table room to see a ritual taking place. There before her, in only stories she had heard, incased in a mirror of ice that stretched up between two of the largest rock columns, was the dreaded White Witch. Her fleshy hand was extended out towards Caspian and his to her. It didn't take one of extraordinary thinking capacity to see what was going on. Kristen jumped up on the Stone Table behind Caspian and a hag and werewolf hissed and growled at her. She would have took them on but Peter and Edmund came charging in and Lucy, dear Lucy even took charge and was handling Nikabrik with her small little dagger.
Jadis looked up at Kristen, her dark eyes calculating the blood soaked woman. She retracted her hand and looked at her for a long moment.
"Another witch. Aslan actually allowed another witch into this realm."
"My magic is of good." Kristen said as she hopped down and pulled Caspian out of the enchanted circle. "It is of Aslan."
Jadis hissed at that name and then extended her hand out to Kristen.
"One drop of your blood and I am freed. I can show you how to use this power, so you will never be wounded or weak again. I can show you so much, little witch."
"Stay away from them!" Peter pushed Kristen and Caspian to the side as he now stood in the circle, his breath becoming fogged. His brandished his sword, the tip pointing at Jadis. She looked surprised to see Peter there, but then an almost loving look crossed her features.
"Peter dear, I've missed you." she said and extended her hand once more. "Just one drop, you know you want to."
"Don't listen, Peter. It's a spell." Kristen said and Peter hesitated but he still lowered his sword. For a moment Kristen thought he was going to do it, but instead a sword point through the other side pierced Jadis. Everyone watched the ice burst, taking the witch with her and behind the once thick wall stood Edmund. Sword raised he lowered it slowly glaring down at his brother.
"I know, you had it sorted." he mumbled as he walked away.
Peter turned watching him pick Lucy up with the help of Trumpkin and carry her out past Susan who stood there watching it all unfold. Kristen was standing in the middle of Peter and Caspian and felt oddly out of place and almost trapped as Susan glared in their direction. She turned and then taking the hilt of Jadis' wand, plucked it from the stone and held it. It may have been broken but it still had magical properties to it. But the moment it touched Kristen's skin, the jewels that were once icy and clear turned blood red. The color of fire.
She walked passed the young Prince and the King she had called a lover and up to Susan. Susan shook her head and grabbed hold of Kristen's hand, pulling her along and out of the room, leaving the two ignorant men alone to possibly talk.
Once Susan and Kristen were walking down a tunnel, Kristen pulled her hand away and looked at her for a moment, trying to find some comforting words to say, or possibly ask if her dear friend was upset with her.
"I-I'm sorry." Kristen said slowly and Susan shook her head a sympathetic look crossing her features as she walked up to Kristen and threw her arms around her friend. Susan buried her face in Kristen's neck and heartily began to sob. Kristen put her arms around Susan and pat her back, running her fingers through the ends of her beautiful long hair. "Shh. It's okay."
"N-no it's not!" she pulled back a bit to look up. "You were a-almost gone for good! I-I never have seen so much blood in my life! You almost died, do you not realize that!"
"I do. But I did it save whatever Narnian's I could."
"This is Peter's fault. Because of him we almost lost you."
"I do not blame him." Kristen cooed as she looked upon her weeping friend. "I told him to go, because there was nothing he could have done. I would rather see all of you safe, then live to see another sunrise. It's how much I love you all, how much I will continue to love you all...put you first."
"How can someone love us so much, when we make so many awful mistakes?"
"Not too awful." Kristen joked. "But, it's because you're my family. I grew up with you all...so isn't it a given that I would protect you all? No matter what Peter and I are going through, it wont stop me from protecting him. Love isn't conditional, Susan. It's freeing and gives you a clarity of right and wrong and the difference between do and don't."
"You almost died. I couldn't bear it." she shook her head and hugged Kristen tight again before pulling back and wiping her eyes. Susan's eyes caught sight of the wand in her hands and looked at it shocked before looking at her. "W-what?"
"I don't know either." Kristen said looking at it as she raised it up. "For the thing that stabbed Ed, it sure doesn't feel malicious."
"He's not going to approve of you using it."
"Oh I know...but, still, it's worth trying to see if I can make some use out of it." Kristen pointed it at a fallen pillar and concentrated. For a good five minutes nothing happened and Kristen held it up and sighed. "Maybe I used too much during battle."
"You have limits?" Susan enquired.
"Don't tell anyone that you know that I have limits to my magic, Susan. If you did it would mark us at an even greater disadvantage."
"What happens if you're on the battlefield and you can't use and then what?"
"I-I just have to get stronger."
"The Telmarine's could attack any day now."
"Then we have work to do." Kristen strode past her and Susan stomped her foot angrily huffing as she did.
"When will you learn your limits and learn to just stop and rest!" Susan yelled and Kristen turned around, wide eyed and shocked.
"Because I can't stop." Kristen said shakily her fist curling tighter around the wand. "I'm addicted. And Jadis knew that."
"What does it mean to be addicted?"
"Elves, who had become addicted to their magics, slowly started eating away at their life force. Though they could live forever, it consumed them, creating someone different inside. They changed, and with time withered into something unimaginable, and eventually they became monsters...evil, and carnal."
"W-would that happen to you?"
"I don't know. Not many humans can use magics the way I can. Jadis called me a witch, I say that it's a gift from Aslan. So I hope, with all my heart that all of this power isn't something bad...but something good. And I feel like I need to put my faith into that. It keeps the addiction at bay."
"I just hope we all make it through this." she said. Susan walked up to her and reached up running her fingers through matted blonde hair and cringed a bit. "Let's get you cleaned up. You still have...blood caked everywhere."
"Susan?"
"What?"
"You have incredible strength you know. Thank you...for doing what you did to help me."
Susan nodded and took her arm as the two girls walked along to the underground spring that would offer them some privacy and a chance to clean up.
When they arrived, the sun had reached it's apex above the small hole in the cavern, warming up the small pool that lay in the rocks. Kristen settled the wand on a high rock and her and Susan together, climbed down and took off their shoes. The two of them sat pool side whilst Susan used ripped pieces of a cloth that were left for bathing to help wipe away the blood on Kristen's face and arms.
When Susan reached Kristen's neck, she paused and looked at the thin scar that ran from the underside of her jaw to almost her collar bone. The line was jagged in some areas from having torn open more from the pain she endured and her screaming. Susan froze, her hand trembling as she gazed upon the now imperfect skin. Tears started to fall from her blue eyes and fell down her cheeks. Kristen looked at her friend having not felt the damp cloth move and gazed at her for the longest time before realizing Susan was staring at her neck.
Leaning over the pool, Kristen looked at her reflection. She saw a pale girl, with a ordinary plain face, long blonde hair that was stained red as well as her clothes, and now a thin line ran down her neck. Reaching up she ran her thin fingers along it and then shakily retracted it.
Kristen looked back to Susan and smiled weakly.
"You don't have to help me anymore than you feel comfortable. You need rest too."
"I'm sorry." she muttered. "I just...can't."
"You really are gentle, Susan. You care so much. I'm not upset or angry."
"Okay. I-I'll just go get you some new clothes and something hot to eat. I'll be back later to check on you."
Susan stood up, and took her shoes as well, looking back at Kristen with one last apologetic look and soon was walking off down the halls. In all honesty, Kristen wanted to be alone. She felt like she was so tired and was exhausted keeping up appearances for everyone else. Kristen looked at her reflection again in the pool and then shook her head as she wiped her eyes as they stung. She felt that familiar pressure build in her nose, the swelling of emotions as they bubbled to the surface with no lid any longer to keep them tucked inside. Suddenly sobs were echoing out in the cavern and Kristen was sitting there letting the emotions of almost dying come swimming back.
The emotional and physical pain was too much to bear in that moment. She remembered her body feeling cold, but at the same time feeling sweltering and on fire. There was sensations of skin tearing and the feeling of her chest caving in from all the blood she was swallowing. She remembered that the most. Remembered all that blood and the taste of copper liquid filling her every sense. The ability to breath was lessened as she choked, or the feeling of Susan's hand as it closed her mouth and the feeling of being suffocating became more. She held no ill will over Susan, but it felt like everyone else wanted her gone and dead.
"It's not that bad really." a voice said behind her and Kristen whipped her head around to see Edmund sitting there looking at her. "The scar I mean."
"O-oh." she sniffed and tried to wipe her eyes but it just smeared blood more all over her making the dried substance, wet again.
Edmund cringed as he scoot down next to her and looked upon her with no judgement or calculation. He reached out taking the cloth from her hand and dipped it into the pool. The blood caked on it fell off and made the water pink for a moment before it washed clear again. Edmund wrung it out and began to pick up where Susan left off. He had heard most of their conversation, because Edmund had been following and watching. After what happened to Kristen, he couldn't bear not knowing if she was alright. But what she had said to Susan and now her breaking down, told him she was bearing a whole different kind of pain.
"You're still beautiful."
"That's not what I'm upset about, Ed. You know I don't care much about looks."
"I still think you need to hear it." he said softly. He then raked his fingers through her hair and took handfuls of water and began to wash it out. It was honestly soothing for Kristen, as Edmund worked his own kind of magic.
She had missed this. This comfortable nature that they had around one another.
"You're beautiful...inside and out. No matter how many scars you have, I will always think you most beautiful."
"Ed." she said lowly as if chiding him and he turned her head so she could look him in the eye.
Slowly Edmund took off his tunic and then untied his shirt as he took it up and off. It lay next to him and Kristen was met with pale skin, that wasn't as broad and firm as when he was older but there was a thin scar between his ribs that she would never forget. He took her hand and gently pressed her fingers to that scar.
"Do you remember? When you asked me about how I got this, and how painful it was for me?"
"Yes, I remember."
"Then share with me, how painful it was for you...for these." he touched her shoulder and then ghosted his hand up her neck and cupped the side of her face. "You need to let it out, or it's going to consume you."
"I can feel...all the blood." she said so quietly he almost couldn't hear. "All I remember is choking on it and feeling like I wasn't going to make it. The pain, the numbing, then more pain. The first time I had been so close to death, I don't even remember it. Aslan spared me that...but this time he didn't."
The tears started to fall, escaping out of her ducts as they fell down her cheeks.
"Go on."
"I can't say that I have lost my faith in him, but...why? Why did it hurt so much? Why, when I close my eyes all I can feel is my neck ripping open and it becoming harder to breath?"
"You'll feel this pain for a long time." he took both sides of her face as he forced her to look at him. "But it'll fade, and those horrific images and feelings will be replaced with good ones again."
"How can you be so sure?"
"You did it for me." he smiled and Kristen couldn't help but smile too. She wiped her eyes more and nodded as if accepting it for what it was. It didn't make the current pain any more or less, but it gave her strength and a knowing she could beat this fear.
She was good at overcoming fear.
"I love you, Ed. I always have."
"I know. Me too." he let her face go as he turned forward and looked into the pool. Kristen reached out with her and and took his and he looked at it and then back to her.
"I never wanted to be with Peter. I wanted to be with you."
"But you love Peter...at least I thought you did?" he asked confused.
"Of course I do. But you always would have been my first choice. But you wouldn't have me."
"I was stupid to have done that to you."
"You did, because you were standing up for your heart. You didn't want me to go, but at the same time you were protecting yourself as well. I get it."
"Where does this leave us?"
"Right where we started." she sighed. "I can't leave Peter...no matter what his actions have done to me, he needs me. I can't do it to him."
"I get it." he took a deep breath in and Kristen looked back up at him.
"But, I want one thing before it ends for good and we go back to being just Edmund and just Kristen."
"What...anything."
"Kiss me."
Edmund shook his head and looked down at their hands and Kristen reached up placing her hand on his face and he slowly looked back to her.
"Kiss me." she requested again and he felt this elation inside of him as the words left her lips. He leant forward and captured them, claiming this kiss as his own. He felt a fire rush under his skin and hers as well as their lips glided against one another's. The pulled away suddenly breathing heavily as they looked at one another with wide eyes.
Edmund was the first to grin as he then started laughing and soon Kristen did too. She leant on his shoulder her laughter joining his as they let out their joy, anger and frustration in a healthy way. When the laughter died down, all that was left was a comfortable silence.
He rubbed her arm gently as it hung around her protectively and she sat up and pecked his cheek.
"I promise I wont tell Peter. This is just for you and I, and something we needed to figure out. And now it's figured out."
"No, I'll tell him." she breathed. "And he's gonna hate me for it, but, we needed to know."
"I'll always love you." he said casually.
"Me too Ed...met too."