CHAPTER 6

'Someone once said life was for living, life was for happiness, life was love. I cannot help but feel that I have been lied to. How can life be for love when all you have left is hate? How can life be for happiness when all you can do is scream in silence? How can life be for living when you have nothing to live for anymore?

My eyes slowly flickered, rhythmic to the steady rumbling airing from the tight leather seats. I stretched my body and felt my legs crumple against the hollow shell of the truck door, my clutched limbs aching and straining. My vision was faded and blurry, but as I slowly opened my eyes, squinting in the seemingly bright light, I made out Tal's outline above me. He stared down at me, and I realised a faint, pleasant sensation as he rubbed a claw down my arm.
My head rested on his thigh, and we were both squeezed into the back of the truck, with Cassie sat, driving at the front.
I could hear faint noises. The sound of talking. I moved my arm to rub my head, my hearing faded and distant. Tal was speaking. I could hear his voice now, and I felt the vibrations buzz through his body to me as he spoke.
I raised my head from his thigh and looked through distorted vision, trying to make sense of it all. My body throbbed and I collapsed back onto Tal, clenching my teeth as the memory drifted through me.
The parade. Tal's eyes…
I looked upwards at his chin and, noticing my stirring, he craned his neck to look back. I burrowed into his eyes. Tal's own red eyes.
Not blue, nor green. Not dead.
Normal, bright eyes.
"Toby wake up."
I jerked a bit, my sense of hearing and sight coming back to me as I heard him utter those words. My legs twitched, life springing back into them as I felt energy returning and boiling up inside me.
Warmth. Tal rubbed my cheek with the back of his hand, and whispered, too quiet to make out.
Where was I? What was happening?
I bolted up as the questions circled me and I sat upright in my seat, shivering as the sudden effects of my mind once again subsided. The aching of my body forced me to lean against the door, but at least now my senses had returned to normal and I could see the bright city lights fly past my window, covered in the dark purple veil of the night.
The trucks vibrating grew quieter as I gazed through the glass window, and the lights slowed to a stop, just as the truck did.
Cassie shuffled in her seat to face us, a total look of seriousness on her face. "Toby."
My eyes widened as I focused on her, still dizzy and nauseous from earlier. "Yes?"
She bit her lip and looked over my body, like she thought I was hiding something. "There is something wrong with you."
Of course, she was right. "I believe so."
She hesitated, cautious about what she would say next, and glanced over at Tal. "Would you like to tell me what's going on?"
I took my eyes from her, feeling cornered and momentarily split from Cassie. I had no answer.
"Please, Toby." She said, her expression showing much concern. "Is there something you want to talk about?"
I shook my head, resting my gaze on her again. "… I do not know."
She hummed thoughtfully to herself, before gently rubbing my knee. "I think we need to take you to the clinic."
I nodded acceptingly. Maybe I was just ill. A trip to the clinic could only be for the best.
Tal was keeping quiet and fiddled his claws quizzically on his side of the truck, legs crunched into the seat before him and his tail set aside. I could feel confusion and fear airing from him.
Surely what I saw before was an illusion. A figment of my imagination brought on by some illness…
Yes, it was just me. I was sick. That was why I was going to the clinic, and why I was hallucinating.
I was just sick.
Cassie turned back to the steering wheel and the car roared, heading out of the city and in the direction of Yellowstone park. I thought everything through my head - the images, illusions, and tried to put together the pieces. Something was happening to me, but I could not explain what it was, or why it was happening.
Was Tal feeling anything? He certainly seemed troubled…
"Tal." I said quietly, nudging up beside him.
He replied with a small, meek grunt.
"I am not mad at you." I explained.
He lifted slightly, yet unable to hide his sense of guilt. "Tal is sorry."
After a brief pause of just staring at him, I decided it would be best to change to a lighter subject. "Have you enjoyed your day?"
"Yes."
He said no more, and he did not seem at all sure if he did like it or not. Something was on his mind. My hand reached over and wrapped around his. That caught his attention.
"Do not feel bad about what happened, Tal." I said.
He opened his mouth to speak, but hesitated, before saying it in our own language. " 'Cassie say Tal do bad. But Tal nap.' "
That took me by surprise. " 'You were asleep?' "
" 'Tal…' " He froze, like he was unsure. " 'Tal walk away, but Tal sleep…' " He held his head in obvious bafflement.
This was getting stranger and stranger…
He continued, " 'Tal sleep on roof. Not wake up on roof.' "
" 'Where did you wake up?' "
" 'Tal wake up on road next to Toby.' "
I started to feel tense, squeezing his claw tighter. He replied by squeezing back and leaning against me.
I wanted to feel better. I wanted to make him feel better. To take things off my mind and just enjoy the rest of the night, to go to my nest when I was tired and not have to stay awake and demand answers from myself. To wake up in the morning happy and care-free.
My eyes rested lazily on Tal, focusing on him as the scenery around us grew darker. He made me feel strange, distant in a way, like he was all I really needed on this strange planet. We were compatible.
"Tal." I said quietly.
He opened his eyes wider and trailed them to mine.
I smiled invitingly. " 'When we get back home tonight, I would like to have some more of that bark you gave to me. Could you show me the tree?' "
The light in the car had quickly gone black. It was impossible to make out his face, but I knew he was smiling.
" 'Tal will take Toby to tree.' "
" 'Thank you, Tal.' "
As the night spread over the horizon to fill the sky, and the last of the city noises died away, we sat in deep silence - all three all us. Cassie said nothing for most of the journey, concentrating on the road and her thoughts. Both I and Tal were sat uncomfortably in the limited space of the truck, bound close and leaning back into the seats, worn out.
Our claws clutched together, so familiar, yet so new. I had never felt this feeling before, and I never wanted it to stop, not even for even a brief second. I dropped my head on his shoulder and watched the world pass by through the windscreen. The clinic, lit with dull amber light, dragged itself up over the horizon like a beacon pushing its way up through the dirt.

It took two hours, and I was fine.
Perfectly fine.
Cassie had done all sorts of tests on me, and they all said that there was nothing physically wrong with me.
Physically, at least.
"I don't understand." Cassie muttered as we squeezed back into the car. "Are you sure you haven't hit your head on something recently?"
"I am sure." I said, as I got into the front seat beside Cassie. Tal crawled into the back.
She sighed impatiently. "Maybe you just need some sleep. I'll take you both back to your camps."
"Thank you Cassie." I said with a smile, as she got the truck started and the music began playing. I jerked as it blared in my ears, nudging into Cassie. She turned it down and tuned it to something slightly less aggressive.
Tal gave us a huge, gaping yawn as we left the clinic car park for the second time today. He may have been tired after a long day, but I was wide awake to the point where I was not going to sleep tonight.
Cassie, again, stayed mostly quiet, but she would occasionally glance over at me with concern.
The little flickering lights of the truck were all that kept me amused, since it was now impossible to see outside apart from the occasional orange streetlight flashing above and in the distance.
"I hear there's a feast on tonight." Cassie said from out of nowhere.
"Yes, there is." I replied. "Several camps gathered bark together this morning. They will come to our camp, I believe." I faced her. "Would you like to come?"
"Sure, I guess. I can't stay long though." She kept her eyes firmly on the road, no expression shown. "I don't want you to feast tonight. You need to get some sleep."
"I understand."
I knew deep down that I would have wanted a feast, but Cassie was right, I needed a long rest.
"I think I should talk to Ket aswell." She continued, quickly adding, "… About her broken toe."
"I am sure she will join the feast." I said. I leant back over my seat. "Will you go Tal?"
He turned his attention from the back of my seat to me. "Tal not know."
Cassie shrugged, still focused on the road as we turned into a small residential area. The lights were bright here, so I could look out of the window clearly. The houses were much larger than those in the city, and bordered the park barely metres from the enclosures edge. The road followed a bend over a light hill, then began to level out as the buildings became denser and more tightly packed in.
Then the line of buildings stopped, and we drove again past bare, fenced land. Above the hill, outlined by a faint orange streetlamp glow was a large single storey building, half submerged by the park and a host of small trees. In the light, a large, golden jumble of letters was barely visible, sitting in the centre of what appeared as the front of the building. I read it.
Terry's.
I supposed that I would be missing the opportunity to meet him again tonight. Cassie would take us home, and by then it would be too dark to make my own way there.
Surely enough, he would not mind if we did not go tonight. I doubted he would be at all surprised.
The truck began to pull itself up the shallow hill and towards the building which sat on the opposite side of the road, surrounded by the streetlamps and forwarded by a small sheltered bus stop. A shaving of crescent moon rose over the roof and battered it with a simple white glow.
We passed the attractive restaurant and wheeled onto a more level patch of road, edged by pavement sidewalks.
A shadow lurked on our side of the road on the cracked dim sidewalk. It became obvious that the human was male as the trucks headlights rested on his body. He wore clothing that looked inadequate to keep him warm, though fancy as if he were here on important business.
However, the most noticeable feature was his dazzling array of facial hair. It was brown, as the hair on his head was, and it was styled into what I have heard is called a 'combo', trailing over his lips and going down his cheeks, before covering his entire lower jaw.
He was tall for a human, and was roughly the same age as Cassie. He sported a healthy and fulfilled expression, wise and experienced despite his youth.
Cassie seemed no less interested in the man as I was, and within seconds she seemed to have recognised him. "Erek?"
The truck slowed and sidled up to the sidewalk where the man walked, and as we came to a stop beside him I began to see the face I had known before.
My window slid down into the car door, and Erek swivelled around to see me looking down at him. He raised an eyebrow and stepped slowly to the door. He eyes lit up as Cassie leant forward to look past me.
"Cassie?" Erek said.
"Hi Erek!" She grinned and rested her arms, crossed on the steering wheel. "I didn't expect to see you here."
He leaned against the truck door and spoke in a relaxed and casual tone, returning her smile. "I'm on vacation, staying in a hotel for a couple of weeks. I was planning to visit you in the clinic tomorrow."
"Well I'd love for you to drop by." She replied. "I can't remember the last time we spoke."
"Too long ago." He darted a strange expression to her and patted the truck window frame. "I see you got yourself a big vehicle. Never thought I'd see you driving one of these."
"I needed the space." She quickly replied.
"Is it new?"
"I bought it this week. Only driven it properly today though."
Erek gave it a thorough look-over and hummed, impressed. "Good driving?"
"I love it. I've never driven so easy since I had that Chrysler."
He winked at me, perhaps finally recognising me. "What do you think, Toby?"
"I enjoy being driven around in this truck." I said to him. "You have grown facial hair. I think it suits you."
"Thanks," He said. "At least I know now that somebody likes it."
"I think it makes you look very mature." Cassie complimented, though a contradictive grin showed through.
"Well, the ladies like a mature man." Erek cooed, posing against the door in an attempt to impress Cassie. She was not at all moved.
She shook her head in amusement. "So where are you going? Isn't it a bit late for a casual stroll?"
"I'm going to that new restaurant just over the road. Terry's. I know the manager."
"Terry O'Donnell?" I interrupted.
"Yeah. You know him?"
"I have met him." I said blankly.
Cassie leant forward a little more to see past me at Erek. "I've heard of him. Doesn't he own a chain of restaurants in Europe?"
"Yep."
"And you know him? Personally?"
"We're good friends. I met him a year back when he built his first restaurant in America. Nice guy. Very good food. He hires only the best chefs."
Cassie tapped my arm. "So where did you meet Terry?"
"This morning in the waiting room." I replied. "While I waited for you."
Erek, finally taking notice of Tal sitting quietly in the back seats, seemed unsurprised. "I'm sure he's busy advertising. It's all he ever does."
"Well, I may have to check it out sometime." Cassie said.
"Why don't you come with me tonight?" Erek offered. "Would be nice to hear what you've been up to these last couple of years."
Cassie bit her lip and looked briefly at the steering wheel. "I don't know…"
"Come on, Cassie." Erek tempted. "I'm paying for the champagne..."
"Alright then." Cassie replied instantly. I was briefly taken back, but as they both began to laugh, I recognised it to be yet another example of humour.
She continued, "But I have to take Toby and Tal home first. They've had quite an eventful day."
Erek raised an eyebrow. "Something bad happen?"
"Don't worry about it." Cassie concluded dismissively.
"Ah…"
I looked over the road at the large brightly-lit building on the left. A slight silhouette of two men stood by the entrance, with fumes twirling from their cigarettes, and their voices echoing through the open window of the truck. Inside, I could barely make out the luxurious rows of newly laid tables. Candles dotted throughout like shattered glass. Something told me that I should accept Terry's invitation. I wanted to be there.

Maybe I needed to be there.
Either way, I spoke up.
"Cassie, would it be alright if I came with you and Erek? I would like to see Terry."
Erek looked bemused. "You want to see Terry?"
"Yes Erek. I believe he wants me here tonight."
Silence. They stared to each other, then back to me.
"You two must have really hit it off in the waiting room." Erek said. I did not understand what he meant. Though Cassie found something to smile about. "But being serious, he probably just wants to get to know the locals, though I would think advertising a five star luxury restaurant to Hork-Bajir is a slight step-back in terms of business."
"He wouldn't advertise to the Hork-Bajir," Cassie pointed out, "He may be trying to attract more people." She swivelled to me. "Are you sure Toby? I think it would be best for you to just get home and sit down for a while. Get rid of whatever is wrong with you."
"I am sure."
She breathed deeply and nodded. Erek had no idea what we were talking about, but was acceptant that something had not gone to plan today.
Tal's voice echoed up from the back. "Tal stay with Toby?"
Erek, forging ideas, grinned and winked at me. I tilted my head back at him.
"I'm sure Terry wouldn't mind." Erek said to him. "What's your name, big guy?"
"My name Tal Ganat."
"It's nice to meet you Tal." Erek said politely. "So, I suppose I'll see you inside Cassie."
Cassie nodded and began to rev up the engine. "Remember to get a good table. I'll see you in five."
We drove away, and around the next corner in a U-turn to come back down the same road and turn into a large open car park to the right hand side of the restaurant. It was surrounded by small, neatly-trimmed identical plants and trees. The truck came to a stop in a space beside the back of the building, a small porchlight set an orange glow in the car. I managed to undo my seatbelt and aided Tal in getting out of the back. We stood there together, waiting for Cassie to get ready.
"Where we going?" Tal questioned.
"This is called a restaurant." I told him. "We are going to see Terry O'Donnell."
He smiled and shifted his weight from one leg to the other. "What is restaurant?"
"A restaurant is where humans go to if they wish to eat in public or do not want to cook for themselves. At least, this is what I have heard."
There was a brief pause as we waited, and a cold breeze blew over us. I felt the warm touch of Tal's skin embrace my arm, as he pressed his body against mine. "Cold."
I leant back into him, finding his warmth almost irresistible. "Yes, it is, but we will be inside soon."
Cassie slammed her door shut and strolled past the bonnet, a big grin on her face. "Come on, you two. They'll be waiting."