Uncanny Suicide Squad

Chapter 4: Shopping with the Superbuddies

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC.

Shout Outs-

DarkKnight92- Galatea and Bizarro? Please! I know I like random pairings but that is just too crazy for me. Yes, you guessed correctly as to the inspiration for this fic. Well, the casting of Deadshot and Cheshire anyway. No Catman however cuz… LAME!

Kagura2005- Hurray for Galatea! However, you might not be able to call her by that name anymore as I'm going to change her name to make her more like the comic book Power Girl.

Doza- I don't really see the Suicide squad as villains, more like anti-heroes. They do jobs that the Justice League wouldn't dare to touch.

Todd fan- Yeah, DC villains do have funny names. Heh-heh. Losers.

Suicide Squad HQ: Nevada-

Floyd Lawton and Jade Nguyen, also known as the former assassins Deadshot and Cheshire, were lying in bed snuggled up to each other.

Floyd gently tickled his lover behind the ear, a sure-fire way to get Jade in the mood. Lawton frowned at the lack of response.

'Jade, you okay?' Floyd asked concernedly. 'Are you ill or something? I just tickled you behind the ear, but you didn't do anything. Usually when I do that, you're all over me. What's up?'

'I'm thinking…' Jade replied simply.

'Okay, spill it.' Floyd said as he looked Jade right in the eye. 'I'm no psychologist but I know when there's something up.'

Jade bit her lip nervously before continuing. This surprised Floyd once more as Jade was never nervous. Not even when she was faced with certain death.

'Floyd…' Jade mumbled uncertainly. 'Would you say that we have a… solid relationship?'

'As solid a relationship as two former assassins could have.' Floyd responded honestly. 'Why, what's on your mind?'

'How would you react if I told you that we wouldn't be alone in this relationship for very longer?' Jade asked rhetorically.

'Don't tell me you're thinking of having a threesome.' Floyd responded, hoping that it was the case.

'Floyd, I'm serious…' Jade said, looking him right in the eye. 'I'm talking about children.'

Floyd nodded his head in realisation.

'Oh, riiight.' He nodded. 'Well, if you said that you were pregnant, I'd think that you were making a joke at my expense. What woman would seriously want to have a kid with me?'

'I would for one.' Jade answered honestly. 'I can see our relationship going very far. Sure, at first I was in it only for the sex. But now… Now I'm in this for the long haul. I love you Floyd and… and… I'm expecting your child.'

Floyd's eyes shot open in surprise.

'Oh my…' Was all he was able to say. 'A-are you serious? Are you really pregnant? With my child?'

'Yes, I am.' Jade nodded solemnly. 'When I noticed that my monthly cycle was late, I went to a clinic downtown just to make sure. The tests came back positive. I'm pregnant, Floyd. We're going to be parents!'

This was a lot for Floyd to take in.

'Wow…' The former assassin blinked. 'I'm gonna be a daddy. This is just… wonderful news! When are we gonna tell the others?'

'I think that we should wait a few days before dropping the bombshell.' Jade replied. 'Give ourselves plenty of time to adjust to the news.'

'This is just great!' Floyd grinned proudly. 'I'm really going to make a go of this relationship. I'm going to be a real father to my child this time, I swear!'

Jade closed her eyes with a satisfied smile as she snuggled close to the father of her child.

'No child of mine is going to be born out of wedlock.' Jade teased gently. 'So you'd better get started with the wedding plans.'

'I always wanted to get married in Vegas.' Floyd responded. 'Can we get Elvis to lead the ceremony?'

'What ever you want, my love.' Jade murmured as her eyes began to grow heavy with sleep. 'Love you…'

'Love you too.' Floyd responded as he kissed Jade on the top of her head. 'And I really mean that.'

Meanwhile, in London-

London. Capital city of England. Present home of the International branch of the Justice League. Place of very many fashionable shops.

Four figures walked down the street laden with bags. Well, the one guy in the group was laden with bags. The muscular black-haired guy followed his three female companions without a word of complaint. His companions were a statuesque redhead, a teenage girl with bright pink hair and a voluptuous blonde that was practically spilling out of her revealing top. They were Bizarro, Giganta, Jinx and Power Girl. They were in disguise as not to cause any needless panic.

'Well, I think that's the shoes front covered.' Jinx mentally checked off her list as she strolled along, peering into the shop windows as they passed. 'But then again, you can never have too many shoes.'

'I hear that.' Power Girl grinned. 'I still need to buy some boots to go with my new ensemble.'

'Are you keeping the Power Girl codename, then?' Giganta asked.

'Yup.' Power Girl nodded. 'But I'm thinking of changing my name. Galatea is kinda lame, don't you think?'

'What're you gonna call yourself then?' Jinx asked. 'Hooty McBoob?'

'Good one, kiddo.' Power Girl rolled her eyes. 'Real classy. I was thinking of something a little more normal. Something like… Karen. Karen Starr.'

'I like it.' Giganta grinned. 'Goodbye Galatea, hello Karen.'

'Karen am a pretty name.' Bizarro piped up. 'Am a pretty name for a pretty lady.'

'Aww, you think I'm pretty?' Karen smiled.

Bizarro nodded in reply.

'You're cute, B.' Karen said as she kissed the imperfect clone on the cheek. 'But I think Giganta'll get jealous if you keep on hitting on me like this.'

'W-what do you mean?' Giganta spluttered. 'Bizarro and me…'

'Oh, please.' Jinx snorted. 'You and Bizarro are so together. You're practically inseparable!'

'Giganta am Bizarro's friend.' Bizarro quickly replied. 'Giganta and Bizarro am not dating.'

'Whatever you say, B.' Karen snickered.

Bizarro stopped and cocked his head. His super-sensitive hearing had picked up the telltale sounds of trouble.

'Hey B, what's up?' Giganta asked.

'Trouble.' The imperfect clone responded. 'Am a bank robbery not far away.'

'It looks like our shopping trip's been cut short.' Jinx sighed as she pressed a button on her watch, her civvies changing into her regular black and blue stripy tights.

'It's hero time!' Karen grinned as her civvies changed into her regular revealing costume with the cleavage cut out.

Not far away-

A couple of blocks away, there was indeed a bank robbery in progress. A couple of masked thieves were holding security guards at bay while their fellows took care of the money.

'Get yer arse into gear.' The lead thug ordered. 'We'd better get outta here soon, or we'll get the Justice League on us!'

'The League don't bother with bank robberies.' One thug snorted. 'They're too busy takin' care of alien invasions an' all that bollocks.'

'Just get a bloody move on before you get a fireball up the arse!' The lead thug ordered.

Suddenly, there was a cacophonous crash as something smashed through the window.

'Kill him!' The lead thug ordered.

The lackeys did as they were told and opened fire on the S-Shielded chest.

'You am stupid.' Bizarro tutted as he shook his head. 'Bullets am not hurt Bizarro!'

One thug tried to punch Bizarro in the chest, only for his hand to break with a nasty sounding snap.

'Silly.' Bizarro shook his head, grinning widely as he picked the thug up by his broken hand. 'Punches am not hurt Bizarro either. Bizarro am strongest there is! Bizarro am Number One!'

The thug let out a scream as Bizarro tossed him through the air, smashing through the bank's wall.

'Hey, B…' Jinx frowned as she somersaulted in to the bank and blew up some thugs' guns with a hex bolt or two. 'Leave some for us!'

'This is what you get for ruining our shopping trip!' Power Girl growled as she grabbed the lead thug under the arms and flew upwards, smashing through the roof.

'Ahhh! Lemmie down, ya crazy bint!' The lead thug screamed.

'That's really not the thing you wanna say when you're fifty feet up in the air, buddy. Trust me.' Power Girl tutted. 'Unless you wanna end up as pavement pizza.'

Back down on the ground, Giganta was taking on a van full of the thugs.

Even faced with a woman as tall as a skyscraper, the thugs kept on shooting.

'You know, you could have somebody's eye out with those things.' Giganta quipped as she kicked the thugs' van, scattering the masked raiders all over the street.

The giant woman made to grab a thug up in her hand, only for a green shield to appear, blocking her reach.

'Move away from the masked scumbags, red!' A voice ordered.

Giganta spun around to see the Green Lantern known as Guy Gardner hovering nearby. With him was the Brazilian fire-wielder known as Fire.

'Do what the Lantern says, Giganta.' Fire ordered. 'Unless you wanna get burned!'

'Are you mental?' Giganta snorted. 'We're here to stop these guys from making away with the money in the bank!'

'Yeah, like that's ever gonna happen.' Guy snorted. 'You're most probably arguing over the loot!'

'Leave Giganta alone! Giganta am best friend!' A voice bellowed.

Guy tried to block, but ended up getting knocked out of the air by a purple blur.

'Guy!' The Norwegian ice-wielder known as Ice screamed. 'You'd better hope that he's not hurt!'

'Lantern am started it.' Bizarro crossed his arms as he hovered in front of the Justice Leaguer. 'Bizarro and friends am only trying to help.'

'Bizarro's right…' Blue Beetle, the JLI's leader, said as he came running up with Jinx. 'Jinx here told me all about it.'

'And you believed her?' Fire snorted. 'You know I usually agree with your decisions Teddy, but… How do we know these guys are telling the truth? They're villains for God's sake!'

'Federal agents.' Jinx responded as she showed the Leaguers her ID card. 'Well, not actually Federal… We work so many levels above that. Anyway, by interrupting this bust you're in violation of federal law.'

'Damn Feds.' Guy hissed as he got up to his feet. 'Always spoiling our fun.'

'This guy won't be any more trouble…' Power Girl said as she slowly lowered herself down to the ground. 'He kinda… fainted.'

'Hellooo!' Guy grinned as he looked the scantily clad heroine up and down.

'Guy!' Ice hissed at her boyfriend.

'Not the face…' Guy winced.

'Sorry about this guys, I really am.' Beetle apologised. 'Some of us are a little…' He glared at Guy. '…headstrong.'

'Bite me, Beetle.' Guy sneered.

'Well, I'd like to say that it's been fun working for you but… it hasn't.' Power Girl shrugged. 'Although… I have seen something that I'd like to investigate further…'

'And that would be…?' Beetle asked.

'You, stud.' Power Girl gave him a sexy wink. 'Call me.' The super-strong heroine purred as she fished a piece of paper with her number on it out of her cleavage.

And with that, Power Girl and the other Suicide Squaddies left.

'Tramp.' Fire sneered as she watched Power Girl fly off. 'Did you see the way that… slut was dressed? And I thought Encantadora had no shame. Oh, and another thing… If her boobs are real, then I'm Batman!'

'Holy silicon implants, Bat-Bea!' Guy quipped, laughing. Fire shot the Lantern a glare.

'Bite me, Gardner.'

TBC…

Next: The Doctor Is In

Deadshot goes hunting for a doctor in preparation for his and Cheshire's impending child. Who does he choose…? Dr Mid-Nite! 'Nuff said.