*A/N*
Three more chapters to go sweethearts. This is going to be so fun. Plus, you've kept me away from serious room tidying, so thank you!
Once again, dedicated to Grace, who had a minor fan girl-squee under the legendary stairs at the mention of the proposal.
Song of the Chapter: Addicted - Morningwood.
There was nothing. No sense of reality, no flavour of life, no touch, no taste, no meaning of being alive anymore.
It was as heat had gone out the world, all love and brightness had been cruelly swallowed up and hidden from his view.
Time stood still, the air turning unfeasibly cold as he stared down at the lifeless body stretched out on the white hospital bed. A bed in which he had cuddled with him and their son, a bed that he had proposed on mere hours ago. Now holding the still body in his arms, he let all the anguish pour out of his body.
He choked back tears as he desperately his hands through L's dark hair, his skin still warm.
"Come back… Come back" he whispered desperately, nuzzling L's ear with his mouth, kissing his neck as he begged.
"Time of death… 6.36 am" a subdued voice of the nurse accompanied with the soft scratching of a pen on paper filled the silent room.
Light whimpered at that sound, sliding onto the bed and crushing his body against his limp fiancé.
"Baby, don't go…" he scrubbed his eyes. He trailed his lips across L's face, staring at the peaceful smile that was on L's face, his eyes shut.
They were lying; it was just a deep sleep, a coma at the most! He was L, Lawliet, and Ryuzaki, indestructible, loving, fantastic… He…H-he couldn't die. Not now… Never.
Light kissed him hungrily, sobbing as he didn't feel the usual pressure of L fighting for ownership of Light. He pulled back, stroking his face before burying his face in L's chest, feeling his heart slowly disintegrate in his torso.
He couldn't breathe.
He couldn't move.
He couldn't eat.
Nothing made sense anymore.
And for the first time Light didn't care.
It felt like a deep hole. One which, to Light's knowledge, he wasn't going to crawl out of.
"Drink this" a polystyrene cup was slammed in front of him. Light stared at it dumbfounded, before slowly pushing it away, not taking his eyes off the door of L's room.
Near sighed, and picked up the cup, glancing at the dejected boy. After Lawliet's passing - Near still couldn't accept the simple fact of death had stopped the great detective - Light had been forcibly removed out of the room - screaming and kicking the whole time - and now, he was sitting here, grasping on the visitor's room so tightly his whole body was rigid.
Near looked down at his boyfriend, the familiar clenching sensation rocking his body as he whimpered, looking at the tear lines on Mello's face. Mello was suffering too…
Near sighed, sitting beside him and sliding his arm around his sobbing boyfriend. Sometimes he hated the limited knowledge he had on proper human emotions. Other then love, intelligence and a complex mind, Near didn't seem to understand grief.
"..What happened again?" Near turned to Mello who was staring at Light. Light raised his head, his dull eyes filling with tears once more.
"B-blood clot… Apparently… They were worried about it, but since he seemed better when I saw him, they assumed" he spat that last word, "he was recovering. It was a common factor in why most male pregnancies didn't work but… He seemed so healthy and vital. But… When I got here h-he went into cardiac arrest… and… And" Light swallowed, and leaning down he buried his face in this hands, his body twitching as silent tears dropped onto the floor beneath him.
Mello stiffened up beside Near, his eyes growing larger as he digested the information again. Without a word he turned and burrowed his face into Near's shoulder, he own tears drenching Near's already damp shoulder.
Three men.
Each one equally as shocked.
Only one knew him as a true friend.
Only one had his life revolving around him.
"What about Masahiro?" Near questioned. At the sound of his son's name, Light sat up, his eyes slowly coming back to life at the memory of his son. L's son. That link, that singular tiny thread of a link that can never be broken. He stood up, looking wildly around him, and with the determination that only Light could encompass, and he ran down the hallway towards the maternity room.
As he turned the corner, he saw the original nurse from L's room come down. He marched in front of her, his eyes staring at her.
"I need to see Masahiro" he said quietly. She nodded, before reaching out and patting his arm awkwardly.
"I'm sorry for your loss Mr Yagami" she squeezed his arm, before turning around and heading down the corridor.
No.
It wasn't a loss. A loss implied it could be found again. A loss gave the person hope again. A loss meant something minor, like losing your keys or a dollar. A loss didn't include death.
Death was a whole different category.
It was the second time he'd held his son, and this time he felt the rush of familiarity swept over him as the baby grasped onto his shirt front again. It almost destroyed him to look at Masahiro's face, it was a mirror copy of Lawliet's, down to the eyes that had lost their father's brownish tinge and gone deeper.
He held Masahiro close, slowly swaying him as the baby snuffled in his arms, his eyes sleepily opening.
"You're loved Masa, you are so loved" Light whispered into his ear.
"Daddy loves you. Even though he can't be here baby, he loves you so much".
The loneliness that had been creeping up on Light throughout the day washed over him. He thought that a person had a certain quota of tears, and after that he just went through live without shedding so much as one more, but so far, this didn't seem true.
He bent his head
to rest alongside Masahiro's, closing his eyes as a few more tears dropped onto the baby's shawl.
"It worked Light-kun. I'm going to have a child" L announced. The day had barely started and they were sitting in a busy café, drinking coffee. Light choked on his toast as he looked an L's blank face.
"W-what?" Light muttered.
L shrugged.
"The doctor told me a week ago that the insemination had worked and that I was 6 weeks pregnant" he answered, leaning forward and grabbing a sugar cube out of the bowl on their table.
"..Why didn't you tell me?" Light folded the paper he had been reading up and leant forward, his eyebrows knitting together.
"I just did Light-kun" L said, and with a quick movement he licked the sugar off his hand.
"That's how your Daddy Light found out Masahiro. Daddy had kept it from him for a week. God knows why".
"Hmm…" L patted his stomach from the office chair. It was dark in the office but from the computer Light saw L illuminated.
"What?" Light looked over to him, chewing on a pen as he worked.
"Nothing much. The baby kicked for the first time" L shrugged, leaning forward and tapping the computer a few times.
Light turned around, staring wildly at the seemingly oblivious man.
"It kicked? Like a proper kick?"
".. I think you'll want to rephrase that question again Light-kun. A person cannot half-kick" L rolled his eyes.
"Don't push me preggers" Light shot back, but when he turned back to his work, L didn't fail to notice the huge smile that Light had adopted.
Light smiled, rocking Masahiro slowly.
"He was so frustrating. He used to tell me life-changing occurrences without as much as a tear… Apart from… Then of course".
"Light…" a whisper from the windowsill greeted him when he opened the apartment door. For the last few days, Light had come back to noise pounding from the apartment with L centred in the middle of it, computers blaring out noise. But now, there was silence.
"Lawliet?" he replied softly back, quietly setting his keys down. A sniffle answered him, causing Light's ears to prick up. He quickly moved toward the figure in the windowsill. L was curled up, his usual posture forgotten about, a blanket failing to hide his shaking form.
Light's blood froze, and in a singular movement, he picked up L and sat down, wrapping the small man in the blanket tightly and securing him on his lap.
"Baby… What's wrong" he crooned, tracing his thumb down L's face. L hiccupped and buried his face in Light's broad chest, stifling the building sob in his boyfriend's warm. Light frowned and with a feather-like touch he coaxed L's face up.
The dark-haired boy eyes were sparkling, the tears in them close to over flowering, and with a quivering bottom lip he looked like a broken doll.
"Mello called" L whispered, clutching onto Light's shirt with desperate hands.
Light raised his eyebrow in an enquiring fashion, winding his arms around L's waist like a vine. L opened his mouth, looking like he was going to reply, but only a sob came from his body. Light pressed him closer to him, stroking his back soothingly.
"It's Watari…He… He had a heart attack and…" L stuttered, fresh tears running down his face at the thought of his fallen mentor.
Light looked down at L's shaking figure in shock. Not only had that Watari passed away, but seeing Lawliet like this. That's what was killing him.
Light sighed, and rubbed Masahiro's back gently. It was getting dark now, his son was breathing deeply as he slept after being lulled by Light's warmth.
Light sighed as he looked out of the window. It was clear outside, the frosty blanket of winter sweeping over them, giving everything outside a thin layer of white. The sky was an inky black, dotted with silver stars, hinting at the true celestial glow even through the city lights.
It was a night for lovers to embrace the first time, the night for an extra comforter to be taken out of its summer retirement. A night that should have had Light and L curled under a duvet, watching the rare slushy rom-com and blushing as their hands met in the popcorn bowl. The night people fall in love, the night for midnight river walks, gentle kisses under shine of the moon.
A night for romance and pure devotion to that special someone.
That, Light concluded bitterly, could never happen again.
"I wish you were here Watari. You could've saved him" Light whispered, gently kissing his son's head.
"No Light Yagami. I couldn't have".
Light turned his head around sharply, recognizing that dry voice anywhere, a voice he never thought he'd here again.
"Watari?"
Hope y'all like it! Two chapters to go and counting!
*Disclaimer*
I only own the plotline. None of the characters (Apart from Masahiro) come from my creation.
All credit is given to the Death Note creators.