Uncanny Suicide Squad

Chapter 7: Arrows and Bar Brawls

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC.

Quote of the day- 'If your nose starts to bleed, it means you're picking it too much, or not enough.'
Star City-

The exiled Tamaranian known as Blackfire flew for her life through the back alleys of Star City. In her hand she carried a clutch of arrow that up until recently had belonged to the young archer and member of Titans East known as Speedy.

'Ha!' This is too easy!' Blackfire laughed out loud as she flew a loop in the air. 'I'll never know why Jinx wanted me to do this to prove my loyalty to the Suicide Squad, it's too damn easy!'

'If this is easy, then I'm not doing my job right!' Speedy responded as he leapt down from the roof of a nearby building, landing on top of Blackfire.

'You idiot!' Blackfire hissed as she began to tumble through the air. 'You're going to get us killed!'

'I don't think so…' Speedy responded as he shot out a grapple arrow and swung away. Blackfire barely gained control before she crashed to the ground.

'I just stole a few of yours arrows.' Blackfire threw up her arms with an exasperated sigh. 'It's not as if it's a big crime. Don't to have some big bad to fight instead of screwing up my fun?'

'Stealing isn't my definition of fun.' Speedy replied as he nocked another arrow in his bow. 'Now, are you going to give up or will we have to say hello to Mister Electro-Net Arrow?'

'I wouldn't do that if I were you…'

Speedy spun around at the sound of the voice. It was Jinx, acting as a distraction. That was all Blackfire needed as she blasted Speedy in the back with a Star Bolt.

'Didn't Green arrow tell you anything?' Blackfire tutted as she leant over the stunned Speedy. 'You don't turn your back on an enemy.'

'I'm not beaten yet…' Speedy hissed as he slowly got up to his feet. 'And I don't need by arrows to beat you…'

'Speedy, sweetie…' Blackfire sighed. 'There are two of us and only one of you. Seriously babe, you don't stand a chance…'

'Yeah…' Jinx said as she sidled up beside Blackfire and leant on the alien's shoulder. 'You wouldn't want to hurt two beautiful young women, would you?'

'You know, we might be grateful if you let us go…' Blackfire purred as she stroked her hand across Speedy's chest. 'Verrrry grateful…'

'I know what you're trying to do…' Speedy frowned as he narrowed his eyes at the two young women. 'And it isn't going to work. I'm not Green Arrow. I don't get distracted by a pretty face.'

'Oh, isn't that just typical?' Jinx tutted. 'The best ones are always gay.'

'W-what?' Speedy sputtered. 'I-I-I'm not gay! I-I like women. I love boobies!'

'Glad to hear it, sugar…' Blackfire smiled as she stroked her hand down Speedy's neck. 'Now, sleep!'

Blackfire promptly chopped Speedy on the neck, knocking him out.

'Well, will you look at that…' Blackfire sniffed as she stepped over the unconscious Speedy. 'Boys are such fragile creatures, aren't they, Jinxie?'

'They certainly are, Blackie.' Jinx grinned.

'So, does this mean that I'm part of the team now?' Blackfire asked.

'I should think it does.' Jinx grinned as she linked arms with her friend. 'You know, it was pretty hot the way you tried to seduce him like that.'

Blackfire cocked a curious eyebrow.

'Are you hitting on me?'

'Is that a problem?' Jinx asked.

'Not that I can think of.' Blackfire shrugged as she walked arm-in-arm with her friend out of the alley. 'You're hot, I'm ever hotter. It's a natural pairing. And if the others don't like it, they can just screw themselves.'

'I'm pretty sure that Captain Boomerang already does that.' Jinx commented.

Blackfire stuck her tongue out in response.

'Eww! Just a little too much information, thank you.'

Las Vegas-

The wall to Cesar's Armpit exploded outwards as the intergalactic bounty hunter known as Lobo was forcibly ejected from the establishment. Power Girl was close behind him as she flew out of the gaping hole she had just created.

'That wuz a good punch, Power-Babe…' Lobo grinned as he wiped blood form his chin. 'But it wasn't quite good enough. Whadda ya say we quit al this an' find a bed somewhere. The Main Man's got an itch that he needs to scratch!'

'Oh please!' Power Girl sneered as she visibly shuddered. 'I wouldn't go with you if you were the last guy in the Universe!'

'I'm sure you'll change ya tune soon enough, babe.' Lobo grinned as he got back up to his feet. 'The Main Man's got a way with the ladies!'

That comment earned Lobo another punch to the face. This time the intergalactic bounty hunter ended up smashing through a parked bus.

'Some work out this ended up being…' Power Girl muttered as she dusted herself off. 'I wonder if Darkseid's up for a tussle…?'

Power Girl was then knocked off her feet as Lobo tackled her to the ground.

'C'mon, give the Main Man a kiss…' Lobo leered down at her. 'Ya never know, ya might just like it.'

'As much as you'd like this…?' Power Girl sneered as she kicked Lobo in the groin, catapulting him into the air once more.

'Ooh, she likes it rough.' Lobo chuckled as he got to his feet. 'A Chickie after the Main Man's own heart!'

'How about I rip it out and show it to you?' Power Girl sneered as she flew at Lobo once more, smashing him through another building.

'I love it when the chicks talk dirty.' Lobo leered as he slapped Power Girl on the backside. 'Mmm, perky. I like that in a woman.'

Power Girl sneered in disgust as she picked Lobo up and tossed him in the air.

'Hey Lobo, prepare to kiss my asphalt!' Power Girl crowed as she caught Lobo once more and slammed him into the ground, creating a huge crater in the process.

'Y'know, this is starting to become pretty fun.' Power Girl chuckled as she dove onto Lobo with an almighty elbow drop. 'Most normal guys couldn't put up with the kind of pounding that I can deal out.'

'Glad to be a help, Power-Babe.' Lobo retorted as he kicked Power Girl in the gut. 'Now, Howsabout you help the Main Man with his itch?'

'How about I don't?' Power Girl sniffed as she threw a punch at her opponent, only for him to catch her hand and pull her close.

Lobo licked his lips, as he looked Power Girl over. And as you would expect, two of the first features that his attention was brought to were her breasts.

'Fraggin' hell!' Lobo blinks. 'Those babies look like you got two bald guys stuffed in there!'

'I'm glad you lie 'em…' Power Girl retorted as she headbutted Lobo, making him lose his grip on her. 'I grew them myself. No enhancements. I'm all natural, baby!'

'How about givin' the Main Man a closer look?' Lobo chuckled.

'No, I don't think so.' Power Girl replied as she gave Lobo a second kick to the ground, punting him into the air to come crashing down upon a parked fuel tanker.

Power Girl was blasted off her feet as the tanker exploded in a giant fireball.

Power Girl got up with a cough.

'Aww, crap…' The super-strong clone groaned as she looked down at her costume, it was practically torn to shreds. It was a miracle that the remains of the garment stayed on at all. 'Do you have any idea how much it costs to make these things? Knowing my luck there'll be pictures all over the 'net by morning.'

'You say that like it's a bad thing, Pee-Gee.' Lobo retorted as he stepped out of the flaming wreckage.

'Aww, dammit!' Power Girl groaned once more. 'I hate it when they don't know when they're beat!'

'I guess I'm just stubborn like that.' Lobo chuckled. 'Now, about that kiss…'

Unfortunately for Lobo, but fortunately for Power Girl, the alien bounty hunter was halted form making any more inappropriate advances as he was presently positioned under a giant blue landing strut.

Power Girl looked up at the blue insectoid craft that had just landed in front of her.

'About time you got here, stud…' Power Girl smiled. 'For a minute there I thought that you'd stood me up.'

A hatch in the side of the craft opened up and a blue-clad figure stepped out.

'And why would I want to stand up a lovely lady like you?' Blue Beetle chuckled as he prodded Lobo's foot with his. 'Heh. Just like the Wizard of Oz, but without the shiny footwear.'

Power Girl flew up to her cerulean-clothed saviour and planted a smacker on his lips.

'Mmmm, my hero…' Power Girl purred as she smooshed her more than ample chest up against Beetle's chest.

Blue Beetle found himself returning the kiss. Well, it was not as if he could stop her. Or that he particularly wanted to stop her either. Hell, who wouldn't want somebody like Power Girl smooshed up against them?

Power Girl finally let Beetle up for air and stroked his cheek lustily.

'Are the seats in that thing adjustable?' Power Girl asked as she looked up at the giant blue beetle.

'Why yes, I believe they are…' Beetle replied. 'Why do you ask?'

Power Girl just giggled excitedly and grabbed Blue Beetle by the hand, dragging him into the Beetle.

'Right, stupid question.' Beetle realised. 'Gotcha.'

Power Girl quickly closed the door to the Beetle and activated the autopilot to make sure that they wouldn't get disturbed.

'Now, why don't I show you just how grateful I am for that save…?' Power Girl purred as she pushed Beetle into one of the seats and straddled him.

'I don't see anything wrong with that…' Beetle smiled as he looked Power Girl in the face with a smile.

TBC…

Next: Catfight!

A long night of monitor duty becomes a little less boring for Cheshire as a certain Feline Fatale makes an unannounced appearance. Bring your beer and popcorn folks, cuz we've got a catfight brewin'! Aww, yeah!