Uncanny Suicide Squad

Chapter 8: Catfight!

By

The Uncanny R-Man

Disclaimer- All familiar characters belong to DC.

Suicide Squad HQ, far below the Nevada desert-

Cheshire was bored. The other members of the Suicide Squad had gone off on their own business. Giganta and Scorch had gone to play the slots in downtown Las Vegas. They had also dragged Bizarro and Firefly along with them. Deadshot, Captain Boomerang and Killer Frost had their own little mission in Zandia. Jinx and Blackfire were off doing God-knows-what. Power Girl was still having shenanigans with Blue Beetle. And Dr Mid-Nite had his medical practice in Washington. That just left Cheshire to keep watch in the monitor room.

The Vietnamese former assassin was starting to wish that Darkseid's forces from Apokalips would invade. That's how desperate she was to have something to do. Although to be fair, wishing for a full-blown alien invasion was perhaps not the greatest thing to do when you're pregnant.

Cheshire patted her steadily growing bump as she checked the security monitors for the umpteenth time. Still nothing. Or was there?

Cheshire narrowed her eyes as she saw a shadow move in one of the monitors. Why would one of her fellow Suicide Squaddies need to be so sneaky? Unless it wasn't one of her teammates at all.

Cheshire smiled to herself as she got up off her seat. It looked like her night was going to get a lot more eventful.

The dark-haired former assassin slowly crept out of the monitor room in search of the intruder.

'Come out, come out wherever you are…' Cheshire called as she crept along the corridors of the Suicide Squad Complex. 'Digger, if it's you screwing around, it's not funny. You're only going to get a poison dart up the ding-dong.'

'Ooh, that sounds kinda kinky.' A feminine voice purred. 'I never knew you assassin types went for that kind of thing.'

Cheshire looked up above her head only to get a whip lashed around her neck. Cheshire struggled to release herself as the intruder started to pull her up.

'Ooh! I've got me a wriggler!' The intruder chuckled. 'I'm gonna get you little fishy!'

'That's what you think, Kyle!' Cheshire hissed as she yanked on the whip around her neck and pulled her would-be captor down to the ground.

'Oh, pooh…' The feline criminal known as Catwoman sulked as she punched the ground in exasperation. 'You Squaddies are no fun!'

Cheshire just crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at Catwoman.

'What do you want, Selina?' The Vietnamese assassin sighed. 'I do have better things to do than tangle with you.'

'Oh yeah, monitor duty.' Catwoman snorted. 'That must be real fun!'

Catwoman lashed out with a kick and swept Cheshire's legs from under her.

'Now, I'll tell you what's fun…' Catwoman grinned as she unsheathed her claws. 'A good old-fashioned catfight!'

'Hmm, how fitting…' Cheshire smirked as she got up to her feet. 'Cheshire and Catwoman.'

'Then let me wipe that Cheshire Grin off your face, sweetie.' Catwoman hissed as she lashed at Cheshire with her glove-mounted claws.

Cheshire easily caught the attack and kicked Catwoman in the gut.

'No, I don't think so…' Cheshire sighed. 'Bad kitty!'

'Mmrrowr!' Catwoman hissed as she leapt at Cheshire once more.

'A little too much catnip in your diet, don't you think?' Cheshire quipped as she rolled with Catwoman's attack and threw the feline criminal over her shoulder.

Catwoman just hissed in response and tried to slash at Cheshire with her claws again.

'Why so glum, Selina?' Cheshire asked. 'Has Batman found a new playmate? I hear he's shacked up with Wonder Woman now.'

'Don't you dare mention her name!' Catwoman hissed. 'Batman loves me! Me! Not some Amazon cow!'

'Saucer of milk, table three!' Cheshire quipped. 'Meow!'

And so the catfight went on, scratching, hissing, hair-pulling and bad jokes. Deadshot and the others were missing out on quite a sight…

Elsewhere in Las Vegas-

Somewhere in the city of Las Vegas, two of Cheshire's fellow Suicide Squaddies were hanging out in a swanky hotel. Jinx didn't have to be back with the Squad's newest recruit for a while so she and Blackfire decided to live it up a bit.

Jinx was sitting in the hot tub sipping champagne and munching on expensive chocolates while she waited for Blackfire to join her. Now, Jinx wouldn't actually call herself gay, but you couldn't resist somebody like Blackfire. The exiled Tameranian princess was hard to say no to. Add to that the fact that Tameranians were a very open race. The golden-skinned aliens were never known to keep their emotions hidden. Blackfire had even told her that same-sex relationships were common place with her people. That kind of thing was encouraged instead of shunned, like it generally was on Earth.

'Come on, Blackie…' Jinx called her friend. 'The water's starting to get cold and I'm starting to get all wrinkly.'

'Mmm, we don't want that, do we?' Blackfire chuckled as she slunk out of the bedroom clad in nothing but a skimpy white robe.

Jinx moved over so Blackfire could join her. Jinx couldn't help but appreciate just how well-made Tameranians were when her friend removed her robe.

'Enjoying the view?' Blackfire teased.

'Oh yes…' Jinx smiled in reply. 'I could eat you all up.'

'You do know that cannibalism is against he law, right?' Blackfire quirked an eyebrow.

'That never stopped us before.' Jinx shrugged. 'Want some bubbly?'

'Don't mind if I do.' Blackfire grinned eagerly. 'There's nothing I like more than sitting in a hot tub with a glass of champagne before seducing a beautiful young lady.'

'Oh, is that what you're thinking?' Jinx tutted. 'Then I'm afraid that I'll have to disappoint you there…'

Blackfire narrowed her eyes in suspicion. Jinx was plotting something…

'I was actually planning on seducing you myself…' Jinx admitted.

'Ooh. Somebody's developing a kinky side…' Blackfire chuckled as she leant in close and looked her friend in the eye. 'I trust that you're going to be gentle…'

'No promises…' Jinx smirked as she looked back at Blackfire. 'I usually make stuff up as I go along…'

'Such as?' Blackfire asked, her curiosity piqued.

Jinx's cheeky grin just widened as she ran her hand down Blackfire's side.

'Ooh, that's good…' Blackfire shivered in pleasure. 'What's next…?'

Jinx leant down and dotted gentle kisses on the alien princess' collarbone. That elicited another shiver of pleasure.

'Ooh, Jinxie…' Blackfire whimpered. 'You've done this before…'

'I learnt from the best.' Jinx smiled up at her friend. 'Now, for the icing on the cake…'

Blackfire's eyes widened in surprise.

'Ooooh…'

Back in Suicide Squad HQ-

Back with Cheshire and Catwoman, the two ladies' catfight was in full swing. Gone were thoughts of spiffy moves and witty comments, to be replaced by incoherent hissing, cussing and eye-gouging.

Even though Cheshire was heavily pregnant with Deadshot's child, she could still kick butt with the best of them, which Catwoman was well aware of.

Cheshire grabbed Catwoman by the hair and pulled her up to her feet.

'Now, are you going to tell me why you're here, or will I have to inject you with liquidised kitty litter?' Cheshire hissed threateningly in the feline fatale's ear.

Catwoman just hissed in reply and smacked Cheshire's face with the back of her head.

'Nobody gets to touch me like that!' Catwoman hissed. 'Not even Batman!'

Cheshire just scowled at her opponent as she wiped blood from her nose.

'You had better hope that there isn't any lasting damage, Selina…' Cheshire sneered. 'Because I'd rather not inject you with anything nasty.'

'You won't get a chance.' Catwoman sneered back. 'That bun in your oven's made you slow.'

'Tell that to the scratches on your back.' Cheshire retorted. 'I may be pregnant, but I can still give you a good thrashing.'

'This isn't getting anywhere…' Catwoman sighed. She may be in the middle of an adrenaline high, but it wasn't worth her getting killed. 'I didn't get paid to end up dead.'

Cheshire just stared at Catwoman in disbelief.

'What?' Cheshire sputtered. 'Who paid you?'

'I shouldn't really tell you…' Catwoman replied. 'Employee confidentiality and all that.'

'Tell me and I can assure you that you will be paid for the service.' Cheshire told her.

'Just how much are we talking about?' Catwoman asked.

'More than you can possibly imagine.' Cheshire smirked.

'Oh, I don't know…' Catwoman tapped her chin in thought. 'I can imagine an awful lot…'

'Then you'll get it.' Cheshire assured her. 'Now, who paid you to attack me?'

'Are you familiar with a gentleman called Roland Desmond?' Catwoman asked.

'Also know as Blockbuster.' Cheshire nodded. 'Yes, I know of him. I carried out a few jobs for him before I joined the Squad. Why?'

'Well, story has it that Rolly has a big mad-on for you.' Catwoman explained. 'Now, I don't usually do mercenary work, but I'm kinda owe the big lummox.'

'I think I know why we wants to kill me…' Cheshire thought out loud. 'Several weeks ago, we were assigned to intercept a drugs shipment that belonged to him. The damages must have cost him quite a bit.'

'Not to mention the henchmen that ended up fricasseed.' Catwoman nodded.

'I had nothing to do with that…' Cheshire held up her hands in defence. 'That was all Firefly and Scorch's doing. Damn pyromaniacs.'

'So what are we gonna do know?' Catwoman asked. 'Rally up the Squaddies and go kick Rolly's ass?'

'What do you mean we?' Cheshire retorted. 'You will have no part of this!'

'Well, I was kind enough to warn you about the bounty on your head.' Catwoman pointed out. 'It's the least you could do.'

'How do I know that you're not going to hand me over as soon as we get there?' Cheshire narrowed her eyes in suspicion.

'You'll just have to trust me.' Catwoman shrugged. 'Besides, you'll have the rest of the Squaddies by your side. I'd be mental to try anything.'

'Hmm, I guess you're right…' Cheshire sighed. 'Just give me a moment to notify the others.'

Catwoman clapped her hands excitedly.

'Oh, this is wonderful! Cheshire and Catwoman teaming up together! It's a fanboy's dream!'

Cheshire just shook her head.

'I have a really bad feeling about this…'

TBC…

Next: Blockbusted!

The Suicide Squad travels to Blüdhaven to take on Blockbuster. But first they will have to contend with his army of mercenaries and assassins. Not everybody will return home from the mission. Who will live and who will die? Tune in next time to find out…