The lake was beautiful and Allison was enjoying the company. Wilson was telling her all about his cat, Sara, and she found it amusing that he was so taken with this cat. A tiny bit of her wished she had one, something to keep her company when she wasn't at work, She didn't go out much. But beyond that, she realized how much she missed Wilson's calm, reassuring voice. She'd never said goodbye when she'd left Princeton, although they kept in touch by email every once in awhile and were Facebook friends. No matter her intentions, she couldn't put everything about PPTH behind her.
They danced around the facts of her leaving, but finally, he couldn't resist. He wanted to know why she'd left and if she'd ever come back.
"Will you ever come back to PPTH, Allison?" he asked as they stood by the lake, looking out across to some boats.
Allison turned her head in the other direction, looking far out over the lake. "I don't know, James, I really don't. I miss it a lot, but there is a lot of water under the bridge. I don't know if I can work alongside Robert and House."
"May I ask why you left? I mean, I heard rumours." Wilson probed, hoping to get answers.
"Wilson-" Cameron began, not sure she wanted to talk about it.
"I can only speak for myself when I say that you are missed there." It was true, he did miss her. They hadn't been just co-workers, they'd been friends.
"Do you believe people are unfixable? Because I think I'm unfixable." Sadness crossed her face.
"I don't believe that, Allison. You shouldn't label yourself that way. You're a good person."
"Do you really believe that? Because I don't. Things got tough between Chase and I and I did what I did before. I ran. It was easier for me to deal with things that way. That's why I think I'm unfixable. Chase did something that I couldn't handle regarding work. I thought we could leave, start over fresh, go together. But he couldn't leave. He had to stay for himself. And I couldn't stay. I ran." Allison said quietly.
"Do you still love him? Do you wish you were still married to him?" They resumed walking by the lakeshore.
"Somedays, I really miss him. I really did love him, no matter what he thought. I told him that when I came to get the divorced papers signed. I just didn't love him enough, I guess. Sometimes I wonder why we married at all, it was all over so fast." She kept pace with Wilson, feeling a weight lift from her. She hadn't talked to anyone about this, ever. It helped, getting it out.
"Well, I'm sure not the one to ask. Between the two of us, we've had five marriages." he laughed.
"I'm serious here, Wilson!" But even at that, Allison couldn't keep a smile off her face, so she swatted at his shoulder.
He caught her hand, giving her a funny look, before releasing it. He smiled at her, glad he'd helped her get some of this out. Before he released her hand, she looked at him, catching his brown eyes. A shiver ran through her. She hadn't felt something like that in a long time. Something about being with him after all this time made her feel good. She liked it. He moved closer to her, almost as if he was going to kiss her, before he backed up and gave them some distance. It was as if he thought better of it.
He started walking again, and she followed. They found a place further on with a bench and they both took the opportunity to sit down and enjoy the view. Allison found the scene peaceful and quiet. She hadn't had much of that the last few months. She let out a sigh. Wilson looked over at her and moved closer to her, putting his arm around her in a hug. She stiffened slightly, before accepting it as a gesture of support.
"It will be okay someday, Allison. That's what you told me when Amber died. You won't ever forget, but you move on and deal with it."
"I know, I know. It still feels a little bit of me died when I left. I wish I could go back and change everything. Just everything."
He hugged her tighter, and she rested her head on his shoulder. It had been a long time since she'd done this with anyone. It felt good to have some support, however brief. They sat that way, looking at the rippling water for quite awhile, not speaking. Finally, Allison broke the hug James was still giving her, getting up.
"We should get back. Have to get ready for dinner. Will you join me tonight?" She asked him, hoping he would sit with her.
"I'd like that. Yes, I suppose we should go. This is the opening of the conference, this dinner. I'll make sure we're seated together. Pick you up at 6:30?" he asked her.
"That's fine. You know my room number, I'll be ready." she agreed quite readily. Suddenly the prospect of a boring conference dinner didn't seem so bad, now that she had someone to share it with.
They got back to the hotel and parted. Allison felt a pang of something as she watched him walk away. It had felt good being with him and she felt happy. Something she hadn't felt in a long time. She went in the opposite direction, heading for her room. Now that she had his company, she felt much better about this whole conference. She hadn't known how she'd longed for someone to talk to. And Wilson was very good at listening, being a shoulder to cry on. No wonder he had the reputation he had, he really did pay attention when a woman talked to him. That made her smile more, laughing at herself really, thinking that she'd gotten some of the "Wilson treatment". As she reached her room, she began to wonder what the rest of the "Wilson treatment" might be, and if she was willing to go along with it. She shook off the thought, letting herself into her room to get ready for the evening. She suddenly found she couldn't wait for this evening and being in his company again. It was the first thing she'd looked forward to in a very long time.