Author's Notes: Sorry for the massive delay. I was detained. Upgrading my OS to an XP and transferring all my files in the process made me lax in my updating. My apologies. This chapter is not as much overdue as Shattered is (that's a whole other fic altogether, so don't even worry about that), but I hope its worth all the wait. Barbara beta'd most of it, but I thought I'd just post this now because I adore you all too much.

Chapter 6

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." - Henry Ward Beecher

Lois leaned against the window overlooking the Kent Farm. After the awkward moment in the house, Martha led her to the barn and up the second floor for some privacy. Lois could tell the older woman was torn between staying with her son and helping a perfect stranger understand the less-than-perfect circumstances. Lois was still angry despite the calming serenity of such a humble home.

"Did he think I couldn't handle it?" Lois finally voiced out loud, her thoughts running away with her.

"I don't know," Martha replied. There was so much that needed to be said, and she knew Lois needed to hear it from Clark, and not from her, an old woman she's never met before or knew even existed until now.

"I mean, I know he had secrets, but this..." Lois gestured to Martha and around the barn "Seeing the Fortress made a lot more sense than this." Lois sat down on a nearby chair before her legs couldn't hold her up anymore. "Clark and Superman, one and the same – how will I ever get past that?"

Lois looked to Martha, her eyes desperately pleading with her to tell Lois what to do, and Martha wished she had all the answers. Martha never knew the details of her son's relationship with Lois but she could pretty much guess that it was serious. So serious that the great Lois Lane she had heard so much about both from Clark and from the news was crumbling before her; her heart reached out.

"I'm sure once Clark gets all his memories back, you two can finally sit down and work through this together."

"That's the thing," Lois said tiredly. "Once he gets them back, assuming he does, I don't know if I could ever face him."

"My son loves you, that was never in question," Martha assured her matter-of-factly.

"Love," Lois mocked the word as if to spite it. "A lot of good that did. He pretends he's two different people, leaves without saying goodbye and then comes back still pretending he's two different people." Then she adds just for the hell of it, "How can he do it?" She didn't expect an answer but she got one anyway.

"Years of practice, to be honest with you," Martha explained softly. She moves to sit beside Lois and tells for the first time the fears she's kept hidden inside her since Jonathan died, and the fears they had long before he passed away. "Ever since he was a child, his father and I were so protective, we were afraid that if anybody knew, somebody else was bound to find out and people would come and take him away. Even my father didn't get a chance to get to know his grandchild."

Lois looked away, afraid to meet her eyes as Martha continued.

"We drilled it into him that no one can ever know, that as special as he was, it was too dangerous. It got harder when he reached high school; he so desperately wanted to be like the other boys."

Lois tried to hide her tears but it seemed inevitable not to break down in front of Martha. Despite her tumultuous feelings, Martha presented a warm soothing presence she didn't expect. Listening to her talk about Superman, no, Clark, about his childhood gave her a different perspective than the one she had. To be honest, hers was easier to accept because being angry was all she wanted to feel. Unfortunately, Martha would not have it that way and her anger toward her lover and colleague dissipated little by little.

"He was so young, so full of dreams," Martha remembered nostalgically. "Finally, a year after his father passed away, he decided to leave. With nothing but a backpack and a couple of hundred dollars in his pocket, he left Smallville and traveled the world. One day, he found himself north and that's when he discovered how the crystal worked."

"The Fortress of Solitude," Lois said, knowing exactly what that crystal was for. She remembered him talking about it to her once. At least there were some things about him that Superman hadn't felt obligated to keep to himself, but that didn't make the pain feel any less.

"Mrs. Kent – "

"Please call me Martha. Coming from you, it makes me feel old."

Lois smiled but then turned somber. "How much exactly has Sup— Clark told you about us?"

"A little bit of everything, I guess," Martha replied. "He talks about you a lot, but never about the two of you together. Clark's always been guarded about his feelings, he always believed that everyone else comes before him."

"Yeah, he's quite the Boy Scout, I'll give you that," Lois commented, overlooking the part where Martha said that there were plenty of things that Clark hadn't spoken of in regards to their relationship.

Martha let out a small weak smile. For the past hour, talking about her son to Lois felt cathartic. Her tenacity seemed like a perfect counterpart to Clark's often careful demeanor. And there was a spark in her eyes when she spoke about Superman but unfortunately, it was overshadowed by her anger and hurt over the knowledge that he kept his real identity from her a secret all these years.

"I can't apologize for Clark, but I do want you to know that when he feels, he feels deeply."

"No, I get why he didn't tell me at first, but so much has happened since our first interview. Way too much. There really is no excuse for him now. We've got too much between us, and Jason! I don't even know where to begin with him."

"Who's Jason?" Martha wondered.

"Oh, he's my son," Lois answered automatically, her mind too filled to comprehend the curiosity in Martha's words.

"I remember now," Martha said. "He's the little boy you had with you when you visited Clark at the hospital."

"Yeah. Wait. Hospital?" Then Lois remembered the debacle that surrounded the aftermath of Superman's return from Krypton. "Oh, right. The hospital. Sorry, that's sort of a time I don't want to relive again."

Martha nodded. "I completely understand."

"Jason was scared though, but brave also. I wouldn't know what to do if anything happened to him. I guess finding out that Superman is really Clark and that he grew up here on Earth makes it easier for me to believe that Jason has a chance as well."

Martha looked at Lois, confused. "I'm sorry, is something wrong with your boy?"

"Jason?" Lois is completely unaware that she was about to drop the biggest bomb on Martha Kent's lap. "He's a bit fragile, being only six years old, I think he's been in and out of the hospital more times than I care to count." She recalled a memory of her son drawing on Clark's lap one day and smiled. "He adores Clark, by the way. This is obvious now considering he's his son."

"I'm sorry… what?" Martha interrupted with more than a little shock in her eyes.

"Sup— Clark is Jason's…" Lois stopped and her eyes widen. "He hasn't told you about that?" Martha remained speechless, her heart rate speeding rapidly. "Oh," Lois added for lack of anything else to say. She fumbled with words afterwards. "Um… maybe we should head back inside, get you some water or something." Lois began to worry. "Seriously, this is not how I pictured meeting Superman's mom would be."

" Miss Lane," Martha finally said but Lois was still fidgeting around nervously.

"If I get to call you Martha, then you have to call me Lois. Not that you have to. Because you don't, but please do. Please." Lois didn't feel like the head strong person she should be in the presence of Martha Kent. Actually, she felt like a little girl waiting for punishment.

"No," Martha said softly, taking Lois's shaking hands with her own. Her eyes watered as she took a longer look at the beautiful young woman before her. She pulled her forward, wrapping her arms around Lois. "I'm a grandmother." The realization seemed surreal to the Kent matriarch.

Lois, at first, felt uncomfortable with how maternal Martha was being, but as she allowed herself to feel as she did, she let her eyes fill with tears as well. Slowly, Lois returned her embrace with one of her own and silently cried in the safety of Martha Kent's warm and safe arms.

"What do you think they're talking about?"

Startled, Richard looked up at a concerned Clark and shrugged. "I'm not entirely sure."
He'd been deep in thought and for a moment, he forgot that he was standing in Superman's living room. Or, at least, Superman's mother's living room.

"Richard?"

"Hmm?"

"There's something that's been bothering me." Richard gulped and waited for the question. It could be one of a million that's crossed his mind. "You knew my name was Kal-El," Clark paused to think about what he was going to ask. "How come you didn't know I was Clark Kent, too?"

Richard sighed. That was one question he wasn't prepared to answer.

"We should wait for Lois."

Clark was getting impatient. "Why are you avoiding the question?"

"Because it's not my place to answer."

"Look, I'm grateful for everything you two have done for me, but I'm sensing a lot more is going on than either of you have led on."

"Could we just wait for her, please?" Richard insisted.

"Fine," Clark said in defeat, moving away from the window and to the fireplace where a bunch of pictures lined the mantle and found a pair of glasses beside one of them. He looked at it, recognition briefly flashed across his mind. He unfolded them and placed them on the bridge of his nose, his vision clearing immediately. "Oh. Now everything looks clear," he muttered to no one in particular. He was just happy to finally see clearly.

Richard turned to him and was momentarily amazed at the man before him. How could a simple pair of glasses change a man's look so much? The only real difference that separated Clark and Superman was the way he held himself.

"Wow."

Clark looked at him. "What?"

"Those glasses," Richard pointed.

"Yeah, it looks like I need them. I was wondering why I could barely see the street signs when we were driving through the town."

"So you can't see through things?"

Clark frowned. "Why would I be able to see through things?"

"Nevermind."

Suddenly, the door swung open and Martha Kent entered. The sight of her both made Clark and Richard stand up in relief.

"Where's Lois?" Richard asked.

"She's still in the barn."

"Is she okay?" Clark asked as well, his blue eyes filled with genuine concern. He stuffed his hands in his pocket and he raised himself up and down on the ball of his foot in anticipation of an answer. He looked ten years younger just then.

"I don't know," Martha truthfully answered, moving closer to her son. She slowly pulled him into her embrace and whispered, "You should go to her," and with a light pat on his back, she let him go and looked over to Richard.

"I think I hear Ben pulling up. Would you like to help me make dinner tonight, Mr. White? Clark normally helps me when he's around but I thought…"

He interrupted her before she can finish her question. "That won't be a problem, Mrs. Kent. I'll be glad to help." For Richard, it was the first time since this whole mess started, he felt like he can finally breathe.

At the bottom of the stairs that led to the second floor, Clark reluctantly moved one foot in front of the other. His hands started getting clammy and his breathing was erratic, and on top of that, he felt a nervous flutter at the pit of his stomach with his heart beating faster than he felt was normal.

"Lois," he called out to her softly. When she didn't answer, he walked up the steps and peaked above the leveled floor as soon as he reached it. "Lois," he said again. "Are you there?" The silence was unbearable until she finally replied.

"I'm here."

Clark relaxed and appeared fully in the room. "Hey," he greeted her with his normal friendliness. "Mom said you were up here. Is everything okay?"

With her back turned, Lois answered. "I don't know if anything is ever going to be okay."

Clark looked down, feeling responsible for hurting her even though he didn't know what he did to cause it. The only thing he knew with absolute certainty that something happened the moment his real identity came out that changed the way she looked at him.

Not knowing what else to say, he could only think of one thing and he gave everything he felt was real and true to it.

"I'm sorry."

To be continued…