Would love at least one review :(

Chapter 4

The day had taken a lot out of me. I was extremely exhausted but I knew sleep would evade me for at least a little while longer, Cass was practically bouncing in her seat as soon as Lex walked off the bus. "So what the hell is up with that Jacey? Are you guys a thing now or what?" Cassy sounded like she was accusing me of something and I didn't like it. No, I said. We are not a thing. We are just hanging out. And who pissed in your wheaties why are you being such a bitch about it when you were the one encouraging me to do it in the first place? "sorry, sorry. I'm just in a bad mood today, I wanted to hang and you were gone with Gaskarth. I thought if you guys got together all four of would chill together but I guess I was wrong."

She was really getting on my nerves with this shit. Cass, it was only the fist date, it's not like we can't hang out together next time. I said. "AH HA! I KNEW IT! YOU ARE A THING YOU SAID DATE!" Fuck. I had to back track, Lex and I never really talked about whether or not it was a date. So I couldn't really call it that. "well no, not really a date. I don't know why I said date." I said totally embarrassed. Then Britta and Brilyn showed up on in the living area of the bus with Ian right behind them. "BITCH why are you all up on my man!" Ian said. And we all lost it. Seriously my ribs were aching we were laughing so hard. Then Britta piped up "you said date, because you wanted it to be a date." I looked at her like shut the hell up stupid. "Jace, we all know it. And have known it for years. Even before we got to where we are today. You want him to want you, and now he does" It was true, back in the day before I knew him I did want him. But all of that had changed when we started the tour.

Look, I said. That was all a long time ago. I think Gaskarth is a sleaze but he swears he isn't normally like that. I guess we will see. If he isn't well then awesome. Yeah I like him, but what happens when tour is over? You guys know I would not deal well if he did to me what he did to Lisa.

They all seemed to consider that for awhile. Then Cass had to put her two cents in. "Look Jacey, Jack and I have talked about this a lot. And he said that Lex isn't like that normally too. Lisa just had him all fucked up. He has feelings for you. And has since tour started. I know you don't want to hear this but, Tyler has moved on. I mean have you checked out his facebook lately? He isn't coming back and you owe it to yourself to move on too." that was the last thing I wanted to hear right now. Tyler was my ex. When we went on tour he wouldn't come with me because he had school and shit. He promised everything would be fine and we would stay together. But two days into the tour he text me and said it wasn't going to work. And immediately after posted a pic of him and some skank on FB.

It hurt bad. When I wasn't on stage I was either crying, writing, or sleeping for the first week. We had been together for about 2 years and it was over just like that. It sucked but it made for some awesome songs. Now, Cass had brought it up and the hurt hit me all over again so much that I thought I might double over. I fucking know that Cassy! You know I know that. I'm not waiting for him to crawl back or anything. I don't want him back he is a fuckhead, but having said that why the fuck would I want to waste my time and emotions on someone that acts just fucking like him? I said. I was getting severely pissed off. Some how my band mates had turned my awesome day out into shit. Thanks fuckers. I had had to much, ya know what? I said. Fuck this. I'm out of here. I will see you guys tomorrow at sound check. And I walked out the door.

I had no idea where I was going, I was just going. I walked and walked for awhile. Just trying to clear my head. I had finally let the idea of me and Alex being together sink in and actually thought I might be ready for something like that, then Cass had to open her big fuckin mouth about Tyler. I know she was trying to help in her own twisted way, but it just made me feel worse. Some how I had walked in a circle all the way back to the after party bar. I sat down at the bar and ordered a shot of jose and a coke. Fuck them, i'll drink my problems away. The batender brought me my drink and I slammed it and bummed a cigarette off the woman sitting next to me. She gave it to me and gave me a light. I coughed. I wasn't a smoker, but tonight I felt like doing a lot of things I normally didn't. I ordered shot after shot, and after six I stopped counting. I was hammered, but I was happy again. I paid my tab when the bartender called last call. Then I stumbled to the hotel next door.

Once I got to my room I decided to check my phone I had lots of texts and missed calls. I listened to my voicemails and decided to wait til I could see straight on the texts. I had 5 new voice mails

first new message: Jacey this is alex, Cassy just called and said you ran out. Where are you? I have text you a million times. Just let me know you are okay. Please?

Second new message: Jacey god dammit you know I wasn't trying to piss you off, just come back to the bus so we can talk. I'm family and i'm worried about you.

Third new message: Jace, it's Ian I know you are pissed right now, rightfully so. Just be careful okay? Love ya lady.

Fourth new message: Jacey it's Alex again, still no word from you, if you don't reply soon I'm coming to look for you.

Fifth new message: God Dammit Jacey Rae you are being so fucking childish right now. Get your ass to the bus we have a show tomorrow stupid. I called alex and he is freaking out too you know!

Oops, I didn't think they would call a god damn amber alert on my ass. I guess I better call them. Fuck it. I'll call Alex just in case he is out there looking like he said he would be.

Damn. I got his voice mail. How ironic. "Alex, it's Jacey, I'm sorry Cass had to go and worry you, I'm at the hotel from the other night. Same room actually. Just wanted to let you know i'm safe...and drunk."

I hung up and sat on the couch in my hotel room, the next call I made was to room service, I ordered a BLT, french fries, and a coke. I had to get something into my stomach, I recently learned drinking on an empty stomach was a bad idea. While I waited on my food I took my pants off and sat in my underwear and tank top and watched Fuse. Soon after I heard a knock at my door. Thinking it was room service, I yelled coming and walked to the door in my underwear to collect my food. I opened the door to see a very pissed off Gaskarth standing there. Uh oh.

He pushed past me into the hotel room. "What the fuck Jacey? Everyone was worried sick about you." he said as he paced in front of me. Ugh I so didn't want to get into this with him. Oh fuck them. They all suck right now. They can be worried. Well not all of them just fuckin Cassy. Did you tell them i'm ok? I didn't want to talk to them and I can't text right now. I said. He looked at me and sighed, walking towards me he said yeah I called them and told them you were ok. Jacey why didn't you just call me if you were upset?

He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. I cried then. "because Gaskarth just because! Cass well she was pushing me and pushing me and I just had to get out of there. And I had to get out quick." he stroked my hair and shushed me telling me it would be okay and led me to the couch. We sat there for awhile and there was another knock at the door. That's room service I said, can you get it? I'm all puffy faced. He laughed and got the door. He sat back down next to me and said. "Cass told me what happened after I left, Jacey I know you don't want to talk about it. But I would never do what he did."

how could you possibly say that Alex? You cheated on Lisa all the time, I know you said it was different but, it doesn't look that different to me. I said. He shook his head "look love, I know it looks bad but you will never know if you don't give me a shot." I still had tears staining my cheeks and he gently wiped them away. As soon as the tips of his fingers touched my cheek I felt a burning desire, a hungry passion that only his touch could quench. I wanted him. Now. Alex, I said. Yes love? Alex, kiss me. He looked surprised, but that didn't stop him. He did as I asked. He kissed me like he had been waiting forever to do it. I pushed myself against him hard. I couldn't get enough of him.

We broke apart both needing to breathe. I cuddled close to him, feeling so much better.