Date Written: 8 October 2011
Date Published: 9 October 2011
Even without sight, Ed could see the sanguinary twist of Shadow's pale lips. "I'll try."
If it was possible for something to be hated as much as Ed hated himself, surely the world would be split apart until only the fiery core remained. Already it felt as if the pressure of the darkness weighing in around him would suffocate him if he didn't find a way out...
He screamed, but the darkness swallowed it, leaving the void empty. No sight, no sound, and yet no silence.
Ed scoffed. What was he bitching about? It was all just a bump in his road. He flexed his automail—he'd almost forgotten he still had it—and relaxed a little at the thin lines of energy dancing underneath his skin and warming the metal. Heh, four years without his alchemy, and it still felt like yesterday. Well, * that * was an unexpected turn of events.
Ed grinned as the blue lights crackled and exploded from his connected palms, driving away the void. The grin faded slightly at the sight before him.
At the center of the spherical room lay an upraised pool filled with sloshing silver water. The sound of the waves lapping gently at the water drew him to it, not caring that the skeletons scattered around the basin all lay stretched towards it, one palm touching the pedestal. He couldn't see anymore, the light dying away immediately as his palms fell away from each other, but he could feel it. If only he could touch it, feel it, hold it...then he would know truths that not even the Gate knew...
Wait...what?
Ed fell backwards, feeling as if he had been pushed. The memories he hadn't realized he'd forgotten flooding him.
Ugh. What was happening to this damnable world? Did everything just want to fuck up and decided to ruin his life? He couldn't even remember the last time he bathed
But he could remember the look of desperation on Mustang's face when he made the deal; it was like looking into the eyes of a mother loosing her last child.
Ed shuddered. He never should have come back, never should have let Havoc lead him into the familiar offices and hear the familiar words dancing in the air and tempting him to try his luck.
He'd given himself hope...
He'd hurt his friends...
He'd made Mustang cry...
A sob escaped his throat as he slammed his fist into the floor beneath him. He'd sold his soul to stay in the world with everyone and what does he do? He fucks it all up! He could almost remember the feeling of the warmth that enveloped him and made him feel safe for the first time in so many years. The voice of his mother calling him from the other side of the light—a demon calling his name from the darkness. His choice hadn't been hard. He'd gone with the one that would let him see the people he loved one more time.
"Edward..."
He jerked his head around, touching hands to bring the light back. Nothing. He must have imagined Mustang's voice.
"Edward!"
The pool began to glow.