On Being a Pumpkin
Disclaimer: Oh, come on, after my awesome one last chapter, like I have any creativity left to think of a new one.
Announcement: I BROKE 100 REVIEWS!!!! I've never done that before!!! Thank you everyone so much, I'm serious when I tell you that I cried. I am 100% touched.
Chapter 8: My Way
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The ball was a day away.
THE ball. You know, the one I've been spazzing about? Yeah. That one.
I pulled my dress from the closet and smoothed it over. Yes, it was still gorgeous, yes, it was still perfect, but no… I couldn't wear it. What had I done in my life to deserve to dress up like a princess and pretend that nothing was wrong – like that day a week ago never happened? I didn't deserve it.
I thought about the odd moments I'd shared with Sesshoumaru and I felt cold. Something about the time I'd spent with him had made me feel special… like some one was actually looking at me and seeing the real me. Not just that girl. Yeah – that's over now.
And I was angry. I was really angry. And there sat my dress, sprawled over my bed like a smirking reminder of what I'd ruined. I hated it. I hated the hopeful feeling I had when I bought it, and I hated the kindness and concern that I'd seen in Sesshoumaru's eyes after Kouga attacked me. And I wanted to destroy it all. So I did. I ripped my dress. I tore it to shreds in a fiery rage. And in the middle of my room, I collapsed amidst the torn shreds of silk and cried.
Crying is a bad thing for a that girl. A common thing – yes (at least for me it is) but a bad thing. And Kikyo decided to waltz into my room right then just to prove my point.
"Finally come to grips with reality there, Kagome?"
I looked up and glared at her, for the first time in my life wishing that I actually were Carrie so I could teach that bitch a lesson. Turns out I'm actually not her, so all that happened to Kikyo was that she got a great show of my tears.
"Dear Kagome – this life is made of two types of people. Those who have and those who have not. I have, you don't. Don't take it too harshly – there's nothing you can do about it. Just accept it. You weren't meant for balls and fine dresses – or men like Sesshoumaru Tashio. You're too simple, too plain, and too-" she sighed dramatically, the evil gleam never leaving her eyes, "too Kagome. It's a shame you missed your chance with Kouga. You and that freak would have worked, but no, you aimed too high and fell short. Poor Ducky."
And it all snapped. It was probably just in my head, but I swear I head a loud click as the light bulb went off in my head. All the things that Kaede had said – so happy and uplifting… it wasn't just crap she'd said to make me feel better. While sickeningly optimistic, it held a kernel of truth and made sense to me. Yes, I am Kagome – that girl extraordinaire, but that wasn't all I was. Kikyo could say all the mean and cutting things she wanted about me, and those who have and don't (which was mighty corny if you asked me) but it didn't change a damn thing about me. I was still Kagome. And obviously there was something likeable about me – I mean, Sango and Kaede were my friends, Miroku and I were on good terms (regardless of how many bets he took on me), and Sesshoumaru had seen something in me that made him talk to me. They didn't see me as just that girl. I was Kagome. Ka-Go-Me. Do you know how powerful that feeling was? Realizing that there were people out there who saw me for me – damn, it was a rush.
Oh, I had my power now, and unlike Carrie, I couldn't set the cafeteria on fire with my mind, but I could still teach Kikyo a lesson. So I smiled. It was one of those smiles like the Cheshire cat had, stretching long across my face. I know it made Kikyo nervous, because she took a step back. It only fueled my new found sense of power. No one can stop me from being me. There are people out there who love me; I was just so caught up in my own feelings of worthlessness to even see it. Time to change that – now.
So I rose slowly and crossed to Kikyo. And I slapped her. I slapped her hard. Across the face, willing her cheek to turn purple for days. When her angry eyes turned to meet mine I locked on them, staring her down. "I am too Kagome, but I like it this way. Dress or no, ball or no, nothing you can tell me will ever change who I am." I stalked out of the room with my head held up high for the first time in my life. As a thought crossed my mind, I turned and shared it with my stunned step sister, "And you're right, Kikyo. There are two types of people. One type is terrified of the world, the other takes it for what it is. So when are you going to stop hiding behind money and clothes, popular boyfriends, and fake smiles? Me and the rest of the world will be waiting when you do... 'till then, good luck."
"I'm going to tell Mom you hit me!"
I had to smile, "Please do. She's just like you, you know. Too afraid to come out from material things to see the world for what it is. Why else waste money like she does? Why the lavish house and expensive clothes? It's all just a show and I'm tired of it. Good bye." I left my room and my house in the dust. I had more important things to worry about than Koto's cleaning list or her anger for me striking her precious little Kikyo. I had to find Sango… I have a lot to apologize for.
Her house was about two miles from mine, and it felt like I reached it in no time. I rang the doorbell, waiting for her to come, plans of kidnapping her or tying her down just to get her to listen running through my head. But was I ever shocked when the door opened and Sango lunged at me. I wasn't going to get the chance to apologize – she's going for my throat!! NOOOO!!
But a clean jugular tear was not what she wanted. In fact, she was currently curled up on my shoulder sobbing her eyes out mumbling something about being an idiot. And so was Kagome confused.
I pulled her off of me and made her look at me, "Sango – what the hell happened?"
She sniffled a bit – something I never thought I'd see... Sango's so tough! She then said, "You've been so angry at me this last week. I don't know what I did, but I am so sorry.
I laughed… I had to. My high from the epiphany hadn't worn off yet, and this was entirely too funny. Didn't I come all the way here just to apologize to her because she was mad at me? Nuts!! We're all nuts!! I hate being a girl – shit like this happens. I've never seen Miroku and his friends crying over a misunderstanding. 'Course, there is that whole standing up to pee thing… sitting's far more comfortable. Never mind, I retract that. I like being a girl. (Damn it how did I get so off-topic?)
So I hugged her and told her that I wasn't mad. "I came all the way here to apologize to you – I figured you were mad at me!!" Oh yeah, a good laugh was had by all.
When we finally sobered enough to talk she asked me about my last week and I told her the whole sad story. She did go for my throat when she heard about the dress. "How could you!?!? That dress was perfect for you! You would have gotten Sesshoumaru for sure!"
"I don't want to 'get' Sesshoumaru. And if the only reason he wants to spend time with me is because of a dress, then what the hell am I doing? Plus, did you not read the invitation fully? Who ever he picks, he marries. I'm seventeen, Sango. Not time for marriage."
She frowned a bit, "So no ball then?"
"Nope. Just best wishes for him and whoever his bride is."
"And you're just gonna let him go like that?"
"I never had him."
She smiled sadly, "Do you know what happened after you passed out? He caught you – like Prince Charming catches his princess. He even held you while you were out. Right out of a fairy tale… It wasn't until security told him you'd probably freak if you woke up like that that he laid you back on the ground. Whether you wanna see it or not, he likes you… you had him."
WHAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?
"Er – he did what?"
This time her smile had a distinct malicious tint to it, "He held you. And talked about you – or I should say asked about you."
Sango is a sadist!!! Withholding information is a crime and violates the girl code of honor!! I demand you spill now!! But, clever me tried to play off the way my heart was beating just a little too fast. "Oh?"
That gleam didn't die, "He wanted to know why you seemed so afraid of him. But I didn't tell him – I just got you water. I shouldn't have to get you the man too."
My head was spinning so fast that everything else was a blur. I had a chance? He liked me? But remembering what happened after, by heart sank, "Is it too late?"
"It's not too late until the ball, course, you don't have dress anymore, do you?"
DAMN ME AND MY TEMPER!!!
It was official. I had a chance, one shot, twenty-four hours, and no dress. Today was not my day.
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Review Responses
KogaKagInulover – Yes, yes she does, but doesn't that just make it all the more delicious? Oh, by the way, please don't die – that would be entirely too sad… so, to prolong your life, a new chapter!
Dragen Eyez() – Eh, I write this from my own experience, and at my university students have to complete anywhere from 20 to 500 hours of community service, depending upon their major. I'm one of the lucky ones that doesn't have to do any, but that doesn't mean I haven't… (I've got well over 500, and trust me, it ain't easy.) So, he's a busy boy… and since the author is a meddling wench (bows), he runs into Kagome a lot. I'm so evil.
Alynxkia – Oh, I was gonna try to be serious, I mean, a character was about to impart words of wisdom, but when I got to thinking about Eleanor Roosevelt, the voice of my friend Aryka popped in my head and asked me if I knew she was a lesbian. I had to write it down… sorry if it ruined the moment. Shippo is one of my absolute favorite characters in Inuyasha, and it kinda breaks my heart when I see him get portrayed as an annoyance – he's not, I mean, he can be, but he's not. I'm glad that he's not coming across annoying.
Kagome Goddess Of Light – YAY!! I'm finally not annoying!!! Sara's tears are running like waterfalls.
Platerair Queen – Ah, no worries. It's not like this is class where you can be tardy… I'm just happy to hear from you! I'm sorry your life is kinda stressful right now… and I totally feel your pain. I'm undergoing a long slow death by subs that totally sucks.
UltaAnimeFangurl2004 – Yay driving! I hope it goes better for you than it did for me… Poor Mr Hall, I probably forced that man into early retirement. Sigh
bittersweet-memory – I'm so happy you like my little tale so much- thanks, your review made my day.
LEELA() – I'm glad you like it. Eh – you did catch me though. I tend to not use a lot of dialogue, cuz frankly, I suck at it. But I'll give it more effort. Thanks.
Shinimegami-025 – There ought to be some Rin in here somewhere… I'll work on it – as for the window, I hope this chapter is close enough.
Sessy-Sama Lover – Yeah, her life is awful harsh. It makes me feel bad to do these things to her, but without the dark, there can be no light… and Bunnicula-sama says LET THEIR BE LIGHT!!! BRING ON THE FLUFF!!!
Sora the Taske – That's ok, I don't need a cookie your review was more than enough for me. Thanks!
Waterdragonmaster – I'm so very glad to hear that! Yay for a new update!
drea-chan – This story is nothing more than an outlet for some pent up bitterness from high school, a reflection back now that I'm sitting here in college, and a stab at letting people know that it's not as bad as it seems. I had some real problems in high school with fitting in and stuff like that – it was dark for me, but my very loving fiancé helped me through it all, as well as some awesome friends. The humor is just a by-product of it all I guess. I love your reviews – and I totally agree with you on everything from hovering to timing, and the guilt over scoring a point. Thanks for reviewing!!
Syrinxsong – Yeah, I'm a junior in college – 21 years old, and I totally get you on the feeling younger than everyone else on this site. Sign me up for depends and dietary supplements – I'm not long for the nursing home! And the kicked puppies? That came from the glorious Nadrim in their last review. I personally thought it was brilliant, and I can say that because I didn't think of it!!!
hyper person - Good, I'm glad. Oh yes – juicy… time for more juice, I crave it. (man that sounds dirty)
Hanoi – Yay! What a glowing review!! I'm blushing – honest! See, I'm not usually one for high school fics, (Unless its Smells Like Teen Spirit by Link Worshiper Gundam Wing) In which case I'm addicted. Anyway, this story wouldn't leave me alone so here it is!! I'm glad you like it!
Sesshyangel - commences quaking in fear I'M SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY! In the chapter where he takes her home, Kagome concedes that she guesses it's not so strange that he knows where she lives because they live in the same neighborhood, plus, remember that Sesshou's little brother is dating Kagome's older step sister. It sounds far fetched, but I know where my sister's boyfriend lives, so I figured it worked. No he's not a stalker, but he's interested in her, so it got logged away somewhere in his brain. And yeah, the quote is rather uplifting and optimistic and you know – happy, a bit over the top, but I liked it. I understand where you're coming from though… do you think I should find another? Anyway – SO very sorry I didn't respond, and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.
artemis347 – Do you really have to ask why he cares so much to apologize? I think he likes her.
Rogueicephoenix – glad you liked the moral – don't wanna disappoint!
twilightsuzuka8890 - The best story you've ever read? dies from compliment over load oh wait, did I update? Yes, good. returns to being dead Thank you so much!!
Nadrim – Yay! I'm glad you liked the chapter. I swear, I was going to play it straight and be serious for once in my life, but I had to crack a joke. Anyway, I'm really glad that you're not mad at me for using your review for inspiration. It really saved my ass. Thanks!
SkyBlueSunShine – Yeah, well truth of the matter is, I had no idea what to say in the summary. So I just threw something down. I know very well that the summary's boring, but I honestly can't think of anything better. No offense taken at all, but if you can help me think of something better, let me know, and that bad boy will be changed. Anyway, glad you like the story! (P.S. I had no idea that I had gotten 19 reviews in an hour – I'd been at work, and when I checked my email, your second message was the first one I saw. Needless to say, my reaction was "holy shit!")
Sarcasm Girl8 – How could I not respond?!?! You and everyone are so very kind leaving me all sorts of lone in my in-box, I just have to write back!!! And no biggie on not reviewing last chapter – I'm touched I'm getting any reviews at all.
Kookey – Yay!!! I didn't want this to be straight up Cinderella, so I'm having fun with it. And I was worried about Sesshoumaru's character being OOC, but I'm glad you still enjoy it!!
carol() – Yeah… yeah the angst fairy went nuts on that chapter! I feel like I've been hugged long distance with that one of your favorite author's comment. Thank you!!!
Allison() – Yes, yes, Kagome's head is a good place to be – I'll try.
Tsuki Yume() – Sorry about the shortness… I'm kinda an ADD child sans Ritalin. And when I say kinda, I mean certified… and no drugs. It makes writing for long periods of time really hard, and I actually have my own supply of ear plugs and a dark corner just to keep my attention on the computer. I'll try for longer.
sesshyrox() – I'm really glad to hear that – I'm serious touched (I know I say that a lot, but honestly all this love from everyone is overwhelming.) If you want me to email you when I update, I will.
Wrenna – Consider it updated!!
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Thank you so much to all my lovely reviewers. You rock my world.