I Remember
2 months later…
I sat staring out the window. Watching the rain fall.
I haven't left the apartment in two months.
People have come and gone.
But only certain people knew why i really haven't come out.
I asked Denise not to tell him.
He doesn't need to know.
He didn't want to be a part of it anyway.
They knew i didn't want to talk about it.
Jennifer brought ice cream, and let me cry it out.
I remember it like yesterday.
Those bright headlights. Even in the day time.
I remember shouting at the Medics.
"Please Someone! Save my baby! Please!"
I remember waking up and them telling me i lost her.
I always wanted children. I wanted them with him. I wanted a family.
I wanted many things.
But i can never seem to have them.
It makes me sick.
I always looked forward to the swollen feet, eating for two, mood swings.
But i didn't even get the chance to show yet.
It got taken away from me when i turned that corner.
It's my fault.
People told me it wasn't. But i knew it.
I always wondered it would have his hair, and my eyes. Or his eyes and my hair.
It didn't matter anymore.
I can't cry anymore. But i want to. So bad.
I want to rewind, and have just stayed in that driveway.
But i can't.
The boys will be home tomorrow.
I won't be able to look at him, and wonder what could have been.
I came out of this accident with a broken leg, a miscarriage, and broken heart.
No matter how many people signed my multi-colored cast, or how much ice cream i ate, or how many tears i shed…
I still can't get my baby back…