15 – The Grand Finale
So here we meet again, at the end. This is the final chapter, as promised, I miscalculated a bit, which means this thing is longer than anticipated at first, but I'm sure you won't be bothered by it. No one guessed the last victim, but enjoy anyway.
Inside a dark room, a rather tall penguin rose himself in a sitting position. He grabbed his head and looked around. He immediately spotted his teammates and Marlene, all unconscious on the ground. "Guys! Please, wake up!" he began nudging everyone, but they just groaned and turned away.
He wiped his forehead in relief, when he saw they were all alive, and focused on their whereabouts instead. He looked around and immediately noticed that they were inside a cage. He approached the bars and looked at the closely, "Hmm, manganese steel? Pfft! What do they think we are, slugs? Rico will cut this thing easier than diamond cuts lead."
Meanwhile in another room, somewhere else in the compound, a cloaked figure was fastening his next victim to a chair. The red rodent was already waking up, but he still needed a few seconds to realize what was going on.
The cloaked figure stepped away and watched the squirrel as he began pulling on his restraints, "What in the name of Stalin is going on here – wait, it's YOU! What are you doing? I already played your game once and won. I even have, or rather lack, the eye to prove it."
"Indeed you do, or don't in this case. You surprised me last time with your actions. Removing your own eyeball to reach a key positioned behind it? You left me with so many questions that day, but when I ran an analysis of your blood, I was disappointed. You had so many painkillers in your body, you could barely walk."
"Pfft, so what, I still passed your test. Now let me go!" the squirrel demanded and tugged on the restraints further.
The figure chuckled and pulled back his hood, revealing his identity to the rodent.
"Gasp, it's you," Red spoke in an incredibly sarcastic tone, "what other bird could be so obsessed about my demise. Now what do you have for me?"
The penguin smirked, "Have you ever heard of LD50?"
"Of course, the median lethal dose, why"
"You weigh exactly 2 pounds. And each hour, for the next 24 hours, I'll be injecting you with the exact median lethal doses of different substances. Your job is simple, survive. Understand?"
The squirrel began laughing hysterically, "Do your worse."
The bird smirked and waddled over to his table and took a syringe, "Three grams of salt. Amazing that only half of the tested subjects survived an amount like this." He then waddled over to Red and stabbed the needle directly into his stomach, "Good luck."
The bird stepped back and watched the rodent as his breathing picked up, a migraine struck him and finally, he had a seizure which finished him off. "Just as expected," he pulled up his hood again and then waddled over to some computer monitors. "Let's see if you can do any better, Skipper."
The captain had reached another door, the last one. "ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR," it said and he entered. It was pitch-black, he couldn't see a thing, "This darkness is getting old you know." There was no response from the earpiece, so he pulled it out and threw it away.
A light source, revealed itself. Skipper waddled closer to it and found out that it was a television. Billy the penguin slowly turned towards him, "Hello Skipper. Welcome to your final judgment," the puppet began.
It looked quite creepy, with the voice and all, it sent shivers down the captain's back.
"I am certain that you are familiar with this otter," the screen switched to a picture of Marlene for a few seconds. "And I'm also aware of your feelings towards this individual."
Skipper growled, but managed to calm down quickly.
"But what would you do, if I told you that you two wouldn't be the best match. What if there was someone else, her real soul mate?"
Skipper was confused, where was this guy going with all this. A light on Skipper's right turned itself on and he looked at it. It was a strange device, but he recognized it immediately, "That's Kowalski's Lov-U-Lator."
"I see you remember the device and its function."
"It was a bust. We didn't find Marlene's perfect match."
"Just because you failed to find him, doesn't mean the device is faulty."
Several lights turned themselves on, revealing a large machine. The captain made a few steps back so he could see the entire thing. It looked like a giant electric meat grinder. It ended in a funnel which led directly into the Lov-U-Lator and hanging right above the opening, was a small brown figure.
"I'm sure you're wondering who that otter is."
Skipper's eyes widened, 'MARLENE!' he thought.
"And no, it's not the girl, it's her perfect match. The creature which she would be most happy with, the being that would forever stand in your way if she knew about his existence, Skipper, I give to you, Antonio."
The captain observed the otter. Different thoughts went through his head. He could kill him, then Marlene would be all his, but he shook them off, "So that's it, I can just proceed?"
"Of course you can," a door illuminated and Skipper began waddling towards it, but as soon as he got close, two more lights turned on, revealing three different exits. The captain examined them all, "So, which one is the right one?"
"*Chuckle*, oh come now Skipper, you know me better than that. You only get one shot at this, and have a 33% percent chance of guessing right. Once you open a door, the others will be locked forever. But know that everyone you've been fighting for until now is behind the right door."
The captain observed the three exits, his eyes stopped on the one furthest to the left. They were all the same, but something was telling him that it's that one and, a rumbling in his stomach, confirmed it. He was about to make a step when Billy spoke again, "But you know, the Lov-U-Lator works both ways. You could use the girl's perfect match to find her, but he'd need to give you a genetic sample."
Skipper was stopped in his tracks, he turned around and looked at the electric meat grinder and of course the otter above it. He had been part of this sick game long enough to know exactly what this guy was thinking about.
Drop the mammal, grind him to bits, blood pours into the machine via funnel, it shows where Marlene is, he finds his exit.
Sounded simple enough, but until now, he had never doubted his gut, he never had to question its reliability. He tried turning around and going for the door, but he just couldn't, his body didn't listen. Instead, he looked at the machine and spotted a control panel.
He waddled over to it and just pressed a button. The sound of numerous metal blades inside the meat grinder filled the room and the scent of rust entered his nostrils. He could feel the slowly rising heat, radiating from the machine, and his heartbeat quickened.
He gulped and pressed another button. This time, a loud click in the ceiling was heard. It caught his attention and he looked up; he could see the otter, who was still unconscious, being lowered into the opening. 'At least he won't scream,' thought Skipper, when he turned towards the doors again.
He didn't need the Lov-U-Lator to tell him where Marlene and his team were, he only needed his gut, 'But taking out the competition is never a bad idea'.
The male otter's hind paws were the first thing to get pulled into the machine. The blades ripped them off immediately and blood poured out of the wounds. The rest of the legs were quickly swallowed as well and the lower half of the body was soon gone. The small intestine got caught and began uncoiling like a fire hose. The ribcage was crushed, the lungs torn and the heart minced. His skull was crushed into dust and his brain just added to the viscosity of the inconsistent fluid coming out of the end.
Skipper pushed open the door on his far left and he heard a click in the remaining two, indicating the promise, of them being locked forever, being held. He heard the beeping of Kowalski's machine behind him, but he already knew he made the right choice.
He entered the room and was blinded by an intense light. It made him shield his eyes, but slowly moving away his flipper, he could make out an x-ray image of a bird. The light went out and the figure regained its black and white colors again. He immediately recognized him, "Rico!"
Skipper saw that he was in a cage, but not just his weapons expert, after further analysis, he recognized his options and special ops guy as well and then there was, the still unconscious, "MARLENE!"
He raced towards the cage, ignoring the warnings his team was giving him. As soon as he touched the it, he was flung back on his back. "Okay, which one of you pushed me back?" he asked.
"The net is electrified Skipper," reported Kowalski.
Rico got up as well, his "feathercut" smoldering from the shock he had received himself, "Uh, yup!"
"Uh Skippah, if you don't mind me asking, why are you covered in blood?" the chubby bird asked.
Skipper looked down and an ice-cold sensation struck him in his heart. He looked horrific, blood splatters stained his white chest, they were dead giveaways to what he had been doing until now. Should he tell his team the truth, that he was forced into playing a sick game? He slowly opened his beak, having no clue what he should say, but fortunately, he was saved by the static.
He turned around and saw a television, all the penguins were watching it, and "Billy the penguin" appeared. He slowly turned towards the camera, "Congratulations Skipper, you have reached the end and as promised, here are your friends."
"Not quite, they can't get out."
"Pardon me… there, the electricity is off now." Rico jumped onto the net and began working on it. He was clipping the wire with his beak, but it was going to take some time. "And as for your exit…"
"I'M NOT KILLING ANYBODY!" yelled the leader. But after realizing what he had just said, he gulped, hoping his team had not gotten that.
A green "EXIT" sign turned itself on above a door, "Of course not, I think you've had enough for a life time." The screen switched to a clip of Skipper, inside the freezer, smashing Savio's head with a baseball bat, and then went back to "Billy".
The lead penguin turned towards his team and saw the shocked expressions they all had. "I had to save Eggy," he tried, but somehow he felt like he didn't reach them.
"Did you see that?" the puppet began, "That's who your leader really is." The scene changed again, showing the clip where the captain injects the wingless Frankie with the lethal dose.
"It was a mercy kill, he was going to bleed to death."
"And I guess so was Joey," Billy commented and showed the bloodthirsty look Skipper had while being sprayed with blood, from chopping off the kangaroo's tail. The leader didn't have anything to say at this point.
Clips of his other kills were shown as well before finally switching back to the puppet. Skipper slowly turned around to face his team, he was grateful that Marlene didn't see the monster he had become… aw crap.
There she was, the Asian otter, with a paw in front of her mouth and her eyes watering. "Marlene," Skipper tried and made a step closer, but the girl backed away, despite the fact that a cage was separating them; she didn't feel safe from him.
He saw her fear and looked at his team. Rico had stopped clipping the net halfway through after seeing the clips and Kowalski and Private were staring silently. "Listen," the captain tried, "everything I did, was for you, I wanted to save you all, especially you Marlene."
Silence… he was sincere, but his actions, no matter the reason, were unforgiving. He turned around towards the exit door. He could just make a run for it, with his multiple identities and contacts, he could at least stay out of prison.
He looked back over his shoulder and saw everyone still standing there in shock, "Goodbye," he muttered and slid towards the door.
Sitting behind some computer monitors, was, for those who hadn't guessed it by now, special agent Buck Rockgut, "Game over," he said and turned them all off.
Trap originality self-evaluation:
1. Reverse Aquarium – There wasn't anything like it inside the movies, but the person who gets tested normally has to escape a non-deadly trap first.
2. The Point of Revenge – No originality whatsoever, after taking a second look, I saw that it was basically "The Shotgun Collar" from the third movie.
3. Ice Breaker – I think it was 100% percent original and I noticed that I, unintentionally, made him "break the ice" in the first challenge.
4. Wing Clipping – I think it was Okay.
5. Meat Scale – Damn it, it was just an adapted "Pound of Flesh" trap from the sixth movie
6. The Right Touch – Probably my best work, despite the fact that it just randomly popped into my head and that it turns out that it's just a combo of the "Boiler Maze" from the sixth and the "Horsepower Trap" from the seventh movie.
7. Triangle – IDK, maybe it's just a mix of "The Reverse Bear Trap", "The Love Triangle" and the "Boiler Maze".
8. The Shit Chair – Completely original, but unfortunately not mine.
9. The Acid Chair – Hmm, strangely, no trap in the movies demanded that one must cut off his own hands. The closest were "The Pendulum" and the "Razor Box". Maybe even "The Reverse Bear Trap 2.0".
10. Shake Your Lungs – Maybe it's more of a "Cube: Zero" rip-off than one from Saw.
11. Executioner's Platform – It was simple, perhaps too simple. I wanted one trap to just be Skipper, his victim and a knife.
12. Razor Net – Maybe a combo of the "Razor Box", "The Decision Lines" and the entire fifth movie? You decide.
13. Birdcage – Nothing to it, I don't really consider it a trap, more of a restraining mechanism.
14. 50:50 – It was just an idea that popped up and yet it is 100%.
15. Boyfriend Grinder – My first idea, the most original, aw crap, "The Propellers" and "The Intestines Pool". Seriously! Fuck, and to think that this was the only one I was certain about.
This is just a self-critique. I didn't plan on making my traps the chimeras they turned out to be.
All good things must come to an end… so do the terrible. But here we finally are again. Hope you enjoyed it, you sadistic freaks (Pause for laughter), but unfortunately I can't make a sequel to this, so this really is "GAME OVER". I also fear that "Saw VII" or "Saw 3D" was the ending to the saga as well. Nothing came out on October the 23rd, but I kinda expected it considering that there was no trailer.
Tell me what you thought of the traps, if I'm being too harsh on myself, or just leave a review. Thanks for sticking to the end.