"I'M GOING TO FUCK THAT BASTARD UP SO HARD AND LAUGH AS HIS FUCKING BLOOD STAINS THE GRASS AS HE BEGS FOR MERCY WHILE I'M SACRFICING HIM TO JASHIN!" The head that Kakuzu happened to be holding swore very loudly.
"Sh-should a head without a body be talking…?" France asked in a whisper only Germany could hear. The blonde shook his head.
Pein stared at the hologram in front of him. "Kakuzu, why is Hidan decapitated…?" He asked cutting off said albino's cursing rampage.
"CUZ THAT FUCKING GIANT KNOCKED MY FUCKING HEAD OFF MY FUCKING BODY AND KAKUZU CAN'T GET TO IT CUZ THAT FUCKER IS THERE!" Hidan shouted at his leader. Pein just continued to stare, awaiting a reasonable explanation from Kakuzu.
"We were ambushed by a guy about Kisame's size. He came out of nowhere and knocked Hidan's head right off his body with a pipe and then came after me mumbling a weird chant. I barely had time to grab Hidan's head before I retreated to contact you. The guy isn't in my book of bounties so he isn't worth much, and I don't detect any chakra but I do detect something else coming from him…" Kakuzu further explained.
Pein threw a glance at Germany and France before looking back at Kakuzu. "Is he dressed oddly and talks rather strangely?" Pein asked Kakuzu.
"I DO NOT DRESS ODDLY THIS IS HIGH QUALITY FASHION!" France protested but was ignored.
"Yes he-" Kakuzu began but turned his head rather quickly and jumped out of frame of the hologram as something just nearly missed him.
"Kolkolkolkol…." The eerie chant rang through as a new man stepped into the frame of the hologram.
"IT'S THAT FUCKER! KAKUZU YOU DICK HEAD PUT MY HEAD ON MY BODY AGAIN SO I CAN FUCKING KILL HIM!" Hidan's cursing could be heard in the background.
"Oh you're still alive?" The man asked smiling like an innocent young child and his voice carried a thick Russian accent. "Well, not for long, da? It's your fault China and I are not at the meeting after all."
The large man stepped out of frame and soon the clang of metal on metal could be heard in the background. Meanwhile, a new man had taken the place of the Russian. He looked slightly bored and seemed to be watching the fight. "I wonder when I should tell Russia it was actually England's fault, aru." He mumbled mostly to himself.
Pein looked slightly irritated. By the sounds of it two of his best fighters were struggling against one man who didn't even have chakra. "Kakuzu!" He shouted loud enough for Kakuzu to hear if he was nearby. It also got the newer man's attention and he stared at them looking confused and amazed at the same time. "Your orders are to eliminate those-"
"DO NOT HARM THEM!" Germany interrupted, his voice was commanding and he was sending an icy glare at the Akatsuki leader. Sure he wasn't friends with those two nations, but at this time they were better friends with each other than with these violent strangers.
Normally Pein would have scoffed at such a threat being made by one of his prisoners but he froze as he met Germany's glare. He felt a power emanating from the blonde, not chakra, but it was something powerful and commanding, and Pein couldn't seem to continue his order. He narrowed his eyes and nodded a little bit. It seemed to make the nation relax a little. "Scratch that Kakuzu, capture them with the least amount of bodily harm as possible! Hidan that means no killing them!"
An "Awww fuck" could be heard vaguely from the background. The man who was currently visible on the hologram looked like he was about to say something back to Pein but was cut off buy Kakuzu's black threads wrapping around his body and the transmission being cut.
*~*~*Meanwhile*~*~*
"GAH THIS FOOD IS WORSE THAN ENGLAND'S!" Italy screeched, tears rolling down the sides of his cheeks from eating the terrible dish in front of him.
"But Tobi tried his best to make pasta! Tobi has never made pasta before! Tobi has only made onigiri before!" Tobi had been the one in charge of making Italy's meals, and has thus far failed.
"Did I hear that someone's cooking is worse than mon Angleterre?" Italy looked up to see France and Germany standing at the entrance to the cell next to Tobi, and behind him were two scary looking men.
"It's true, big brother France, taste it yourself! It's terrible!" Italy wailed.
France looked at the repulsive looking pasta and shuttered. "Non, I'll take your word for it…"
*~*~*Meanwhile*~*~*
"I can't believe my spell backfired like that…" complained a blond who had eyebrows that resembled caterpillars.
"Dude, your weird magic always backfires!" A second blond who sported glasses told his companion while walking through some woods with him.
"MY MAGIC ISN'T WEIRD! Your alien thing is weird."
"And your flying mint bunny isn't? And Tony still thinks you're a limey."
The two began to bicker much to the disappointment of an unnoticed third blond. The three had woken up together in this forest and have been travelling the woods together since then, although with much arguing. The third and unnoticed blond was actually trying to figure out where they ended up when he noticed something looming in the distance. "Hey guys I see something over there." He whispered and was obviously ignored again.
A few moments later the other two noticed it. "Hey America what's that in the distance?" Asked the one with giant eyebrows.
"I just said-" The unnoticed one tried to cut in.
"I dunno Iggy, why didn't we notice it sooner?"
"I did you just-"
"Don't call me Iggy, its England! And use proper English, 'dunno' is not a proper word! Anyway let's go check it out."
"But I saw it fir-"
"Hey wait up the hero should lead the way! You coming Canadia?"
"It's Canada and-"
"I saw it first so I should lead the way!"
Canada sighed and followed the two who were still bickering. "But I saw it first though…"
*~*~*Meanwhile*~*~*
"WOW! IT'S A GIANT WALL!" America announced excitedly pointing at a giant wall.
"No idiot, it's a secret ninja village, OF COURSE ITS A BLOODY WALL!" England snapped.
"Well a secret ninja village could be on the other side of the giant wall." America suggested.
"I wouldn't be surprised at this point…" Canada whispered, unnoticed.
"What's the chance of that happening you git?" England wanted to facepalm.
"Very high…." An unknown 4th voice stated to the surprise of the three blonds. The nations turned to look at a man who was defying gravity and was hanging upside-down from a tree, his arms crossed and the soles of his feet that seemed to be attached to a branch. His hair was a big bush of silver that if he was standing right-side up it would still be sticking up funny. His face was covered by a mask and his left eye was covered by something with a weird symbol on it. His one visible eye seemed to look a little droopy as he stared at the blonds. "Now, who are you and how did you find the Village Hidden in the Leaves?"
Canada and England just stared, lost for words, but America decided to speak up. "Well, to be honest, it wasn't really hidden in the leaves as you said, or very well for that matter!"
England rubbed his temples. "Oh shut up you wanker, before the bloody ninja kills you for being an idiot!"
A/N: Hey sorry for the huge delay! I thought I would have had more free time to work on this but in the summer I had work and then school started and… Yeah sorry! I'll try to update more often and blow off my homework more often! Alright see you next time bye!
Ok translation time!
Mon Angleterre- French for 'My England'