Author note: I know this is moving fast. There is a reason. I don't want to get bogged down and trapped in Sophie's childhood, as admittedly all of my thoughts for this story are set in game verse. So, pardon the time skips.

Chapter start

You would have thought as a real adult I would have developed patience. There was a frustrating aspect to having this predicament. I had the mind of a young adult. But I had the impulse control of a child. It led to horrible situations, and I slipped more often than I wanted to.

The woman I knew as my Mother got sick. I watched as her body became ill, and was treated to a dull shock. She disintegrated before my very eyes. It was the first time in both lives I'd seen someone young wither. Like a tree losing its leaves, becoming skeletal and dim. The difference was a tree would bloom again. She never would.

The parties stopped for the year and a half it took her to fade completely. And I realized how much President Shinra actually loved her. It was a slap in the face, really. Of all the characters that shouldn't have been humanized, he was top of the list. But then I supposed, even scum bags had hearts. His just happened to be only large enough for greed and her. Maybe Rufus and I occupied a corner.

Rufus found refuge in his studies, Father in directing the company in more ruthless ways. Vergil indulged me quite smashing in that time as well. He didn't scold me when I ran off into corners of the Shinra building, and even let me drop Aerith outside of the Shinra tower every now and then. I found my refuge in the admittedly odd girl.

Oddly enough, I hadn't met her Mom, and I counted myself lucky. Truth was, I never went to get Aerith. She was deposited within my reach every few days. I assumed it was President Shinra who ordered her to my side like a puppy. Not even Hojo could argue.

Briefly I turned over the timeline. I had no clue how old Aerith was when she and Ilfana escaped. I had less knowledge about how many creepy scientists were active. There was the creepy one who used Genesis and Angeal. Hojo, man of the hour and I swear closet fetishist. Were there others?

Well, of course. Those three weren't the only scientists Shinra employed, but they were the ones the games focused on. I remembered Hojo more for the fact he was in all the media I knew. The others were loosely mentioned. Genesis and Angeal had one game.

Aerith was looking healthier too. It was true I was giving her old clothes that I didn't enjoy, and I was shoving toys on her. Really, it was a win for me. I could deplete the toy supply I never touched, could shove the candy people shoved on me to her. I liked chocolate, and of course sweets, but not every day.

I didn't feel like going anywhere today. I had visited my Mom earlier and felt raw. If I was really a kid, I bet her appearance would give me nightmares.

She had just been laying there, really. Her room was pure white, blinding enough that it hurt your eyes. This was how the beauty chose to reveal herself. Pure and airy, full of life. Her smile could have thawed Vincent Valentine into a blush. It was pure fancy.

The fantasy had ended. Her breath was shallow and sounded sticky. I knew that meant she'd coughed blood. Whatever the disease was, it hadn't been gentle. The healthily plump limbs were now thin enough to see the veins.

She had gone into a sleep state a few days ago. I doubted that she would wake up. I couldn't call what I felt as sorrow. I felt bad, yes. But I knew, logically, she wasn't around in the games. With that knowledge it made sense. Maybe a divorce. I guess death made sense too. Just wasn't the first thought.

I had stared at her gaunt face and known only that this woman would never move again. She would never smile. I left her room having not spoken a single word. Breaking the odd silence and expectation of that room seemed horrid.

It had been Vergil who burst in a few hours later, Aerith under his arm. It was odd how lackadaisical he was with us. He often carried things like they were luggage, and it tragically extended to me.

"You look pathetic." From beneath his arm Aerith waved. "Time to snap out of it, Princess."

This was one of the people I couldn't fool for long. Logically he couldn't have known much. However, he knew something was off about how I acted. Luckily, he seemed to put it down to me being oddly mature. Maybe he even blamed my lifestyle. It had just gotten tiring always trying to remember to think like a child. Damned awkward too, for most actions that would solidify childish behavior were totally degrading.

Either way he tossed Aerith onto the bed with all the flair of tossing a suitcase. "Your friend wanted to see you. Don't make me babysit."

"Thank you, Vergil. I'll definitely stir up some trouble for you later." I gave him a look, the book I'd been idly sifting through dropping against my chest with a Thump.

"Don't you dare," he groused. "Things are quiet. I don't need any drama. Not the right atmosphere."

To that, I had to concede. He left after a few moments. The girl I called friend or pet had shifted to the edge of the bed. It was tall enough her feet hadn't a prayer of reaching the ground without sliding off. Same for me.

Come to think of it, if Rufus was tall where was my height? I'd be a little cross if I ended up a shorty in this life too.

"What's going on Aerith? It's rare you come to find me. Usually, I have to send Virgil to fetch you."

The little girl slid to the floor. I admit, I took some pleasure to look at her. She wasn't dirty anymore. Her flesh was plumping up and her hair had attained a nice gloss to its brown strands. We were both seven now, and there were some changes for us both.

She remained quiet though. I placed the book carefully on the table and turned my eyes to her.

"Here, have some of these cookies. They gave me far too many."

"You don't eat sweets," she murmured softly.

"Ah, correction. I eat them every now and again. Cookies aren't my favorite thing though." I handed her one as soon as she came close enough. "I know you like them though. Enjoy."

What I wouldn't do for a regular old chicken nugget. I wasn't sure they even had chickens, and I tried hard not to think about what bird I was eating when I got "chicken". It didn't taste like any chicken I'd ever tasted before. All the food was slightly off, and other things they didn't have at all. Like spaghetti. The look on the chefs faces when I'd explained what I wanted had been tragic.

Aerith reclaimed my attention, grasping my hand tightly, the cookie dropping to the ground. It crumpled along the edge.

Her eyes were filled with some conflict I couldn't recognize. "I don't want you to be sad."

Chills trembled down my spine, causing a fine tremor to go up my spine. There was all of a sudden something knowing and somewhat terrible about the girl. It was an odd quality that never made headway in the game. It was apparent through the lens of real life.

Being an ancient, Aerith knew things. Though she probably didn't realize all that she knew. There were times she seemed to become more than herself, an energy swelling around her. I wasn't necessarily fond of those times. All they meant was coming closer to a future where she would be gone.

There wasn't a way to mask the way my heart ached with the thought.

I had a feeling I already knew what was going to come out of her mouth. I took a few deep breaths, trying to make them quiet. Trying to hide how tense my shoulders had become, fingers tightening for a brief second before loosening. Just breathe, Sophie. You got this.

"Aerith, what is it?"

She hesitated finally. Her eyes darted away from mine and to our still clasped hands. She stuttered a few times, and I studied her skin tone and the texture of her skin idly. She was paler than me, most likely due to rarely seeing the sun beyond the times I snuck her out into a courtyard.

"It's… well." She seemed to focus herself, taking a breath and firming her grip. "Someone close to you has returned to the planer. She isn't in pain anymore."

I wish it shocked me. A real kid would have been confused. Maybe angry. I tried to settle and have the appropriate reaction. My brain was blank however.

I tugged my hand away sharply and she gasped. "Oh. You mean… Mom?"

"Well, yes. She wanted to let you all know she loves you. And that she'll be watching."

Talk about a moment of confusion. I had known the woman was dying. And I wasn't sad about it. Not how I thought I should have been. Not only as a kid. But as a fellow human being. There was also something else festering in the pit of my stomach, something I didn't want to acknowledge. Aerith was giving me a look on sympathy. She expected me to break down.

If only I felt the urge. The truth was I wasn't… hadn't been close to the woman I called "Mother" in this life. She had been there frequently when I was below three. The interactions had diminished though when it became clear she and I had little in common.

I tolerated the dresses as part of my life. I never got overly excited about them like she did. Truthfully, I hadn't particularly cared about clothing in my last life. I liked looking nice, of course. It also didn't help that the only two people I'd connected with were Rufus and Vergil. Of course, Aerith too, but everyone still regarded her as my random project or pet.

The feeling fostered and I recognized it as guilt and… maybe envy. It was ugly. The way it flowed through my veins. I wondered if she would truly return to the planet, as Aerith claimed. Or would what happened to me happen to her? Would she be reborn?

I was spared having to respond to Aerith by my door opening harshly enough to slam against the wall. Aerith let out a little shriek and swirled toward the sound. My chair barely made a sound as it landed on the fluffy carpet.

Rufus stood in the doorway, looking determined and irritated. He came into the room with Vergil behind him. Considering my elder Brother usually stayed oddly stoic for a kid his age, I was taken back by the emotion flickering. Then I recalled what Aerith had said and figured he deserved some emotion now.

Vergil stayed quiet but his expression was pinched in a way it never was. I wasn't sure who the other Turk was guarding Rufus. At this point he wasn't inclined to forge a relationship with his Turks. Maybe because Tseng wasn't around yet? I wasn't sure what game Rufus did to earn that group of Turks devotion and, I hoped, friendship.

"Sir, I really don't think-", Vergil started.

Rufus cut him off with a curt gesture of his hand. "You aren't paid to think about what's best for my family. Not in these matters."

"True. Which is why I brought her friend." Vergil stood to his full height.

I can't explain how weird it was. Seeing a grown man even showing slight deference to a kid. He didn't even defer to me. Not that I wanted or needed that. Oddly he and Rufus were the main ones to treat me like I was older than I appeared.

"I've had enough of this discussion. I asked you to get the girl out of here."

Vergil huffed and exchanged a look with the other Turk. He then gestured to Aerith. "Let's go. The little Prince needs to talk to his Princess."

Rufus shot him a look. While Aerith shuffled forward, I busied myself with righting my chair. Once the door closed again, I didn't bother sitting again, feeling strength from standing. As though there were an advantage to it.

Rufus was constantly shooting up in height. He was going through that awkward cusp of puberty. Except there wasn't anything awkward to tease. He got taller again, and his baby fat dissolved. His voice was transitioning, letting me hear the beginnings of his voice from the game. I wasn't sure how I felt at that.

More and more I saw that Rufus. Not the sweet boy who taught his sister to walk. He still showed some affection for me, mainly behind closed doors. More often than not I recognized affection by a softening of his features.

I gave him my attention, reading his expression easily. Close contact gave that knowledge.

He crossed the room and for a moment his eyes traveled across my face. I wasn't sure what he was seeing. Maybe he was picking out features that came from his Mother.

His hand reached out, tussling fluffy hair, his fingers scratching against my scalp pleasantly.

"Rufus?" I knew what had happened. I wondered briefly if he was going to try and explain death to me.

All of a sudden, he went to his knees and pulled me forward. A small gasp left me as he gathered my much smaller body up into his. His arms were thing but string, and warmth immediately generated between us. I blinked, dazed. When I felt an odd moisture touch my neck, I realized what was happening.

Rufus of course wouldn't go for comfort from our Father. He and the President were always butting heads, to the point I'd heard them arguing. I was the closest person to this teen, who more and more began to send shivers of worry down my spine.

I didn't want him to become who he was destined to be. All I needed, and wanted, was him to not go down that path.

I tossed my arms around him and pat at his head like he'd done mine. Sophie Shinra didn't exist in the games or any lore I'd ever seen. I wondered how long I'd have with him.

I wanted to save him. Despite all my great intentions of staying out of it, I desperately wanted to change his fate. I didn't want him to try and kill our Father, or go after Cloud and the game characters.

Feeling his tears wetting my collar I wanted so much. And the resolve grew in me. I couldn't save the person who gave birth to me. Maybe I could use whatever time I had to save him. And ideally remain living beyond the damned games, in general.

"Is this cause Mama went back to the planet?" I asked it softly.

Rufus jolted and his grip tightened. "Who told you that nonsense?"

"Aerith. She said Mama loves us, and that she's with the planet now."

I felt he wanted to argue that point. Didn't he believe in the Promised Land shit in the games? Did that not extend to the idea of a planet ran by souls? Ghost planet?

In the end he simply continued to hold onto me. He didn't confirm anything, or even speak for a long while after that. He just held on and eventually I felt the tears stop coming. He hadn't sobbed or made any noises beyond the occasional sniffles.

I wondered what one's upbringing had to be like to create such a passion less cry.

End chapter