Hey everyone, I keep wanting to do this, but like the absentminded person that I am I always forget. I want to thank everyone who has reviewed and supported this story, sending me messages and just taking the time to read this angst-fest. I really appreciate it. I would not be continuing this story if it were not for all the support this story has received. Hopefully you are never disappointed with this story.

Oh, story? You want to read it? Fine, I'll keep the rest of my gratefulness to myself :)

"Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, what d'ya think you're doing?" Logan gripped Ororo's arm and yanked her backwards, she tripped over her own feet but he caught her.

She gripped the bucket she held with its cleaning cloths and polish even tighter, eyes narrowing at Logan. "I am going to clean my brother's room, as I do every week." She was suspicious and Logan needed to turn her attention aside, distract her, which was going to be pretty damn difficult considering that he might was well be wearing a sandwich board that proclaimed "Secret things we should not be doing right inside this door".

"Hank and I are doing an experiment. You can't go in there."

"Scott mentioned something about that. But that does not explain why you are in my brother's room doing an experiment when you could be doing it in the lab!"

"Cause it has to be done here, obviously."

"No, no," Ororo shook her head roughly, "get out. Both of you get out now."

"'Ro-" He was knocked into the wall by a blast of strong wind. Her white eyes looked at him and they were sad and angry and hurt that Logan would take away the last thing she had of her brother.

"No." She said firmly. "You will move your experiment Logan. You will leave this room alone."

"We can't."

"Do you desecrate headstones as well? Why does it have to be this room?"

"Because…."

A blue furry head poked out of the door. Seeing Storm he looked like someone caught in the middle of a crime. "Erm…Logan…?" A loud noise, like something glass breaking came from the room. "Freaking out." He said by way of explanation, ducking back into the room.

Ororo was confused. She did not like being kept out of the loop. Wolverine soon had an angry Storm in his face, finger digging into his chest, eyes glaring. "You have someone in there."

He hesitated, but she already knew. "Yes."

"Someone you haven't let us know about."

"Yes."

"Were you planning on telling us?"

"Yes…eventually. When he can handle it. He's…not in a good way right now 'Ro."

"So you took in a stray and plan on hiding him? Logan, this is not a cat that can be put in the closet when people come around to find rooms for the new children to stay…." It dawned on her, Logan saw the light go on. "That's why he's in Remy's room…because no one comes up here." She sighed. She didn't like keeping secrets from her team. "Why don't you let the others know? They would help him."

"Some of them would try…some of them would do everything they could to make it worse. He's not good at dealing with other people. We don't want him to be put under that much pressure to get well when we don't even know if he can."

She felt pity stir in her heart for a boy she didn't even know. He must be in a very bad way if both Hank and Logan were hiding him from the team, the team that was their family.

"I want to see him."

Logan blanched and actually looked frighten for a moment before he hid it, a look she had never seen on him before. It only had her more determined. "If I am keeping this secret I want to be in on it all the way."

"Hank!" Hank came out into the hall, looking wearily at Storm, and she had to admit to herself that it cut her to have her own teammates this unsure of her.

"She wants to see him."

"Wha..? No, absolutely not, we cannot risk his mental health and we cannot risk her reaction." He murmured the last part but she still heard.

"If you do not let me see him, then I will inform the team of what you are doing."

The two men looked at each other. When she put it that way, they virtually had not choice in the matter.

I hear the voices rising and falling outside the door and it makes my heart pound bloodily against my chest. It feels hard to breathe and I try to draw in as much air as I can. I'm facing the wall, trying to block it out, trying to find my way into my mind, the only place I could be safe…but now I'm not even safe there. It feels like it is all closing in. They are always around me. I don't have a moment to myself to process. To rest. To regroup. I'm bone weary; soul weary. I have no more resources left in me to try and survive, and I don't even have the energy to try and kill myself properly. Most people never stopped to think about that particular subject, but I've thought about it often and I've recognized the truth. You have to work yourself up to kill yourself, you have to draw the energy around yourself like it's the last person in the world who will ever love you and you have to wait. Keep your eyes peeled for the exact moment when you are alone and the quiet caresses you like a lover and you can fall under it as you die. Or in my case, almost die before being revived. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

My head hurts and I let my body sag against the wall. It's me and Gambit in my head now and we don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. Who's really Gambit, Remy Lebeau…who's going to take over here now. Will he kick me out? Lock me in some dark corner of my mind so he can have control? No, he watches out for me, that's not his angle. Will I eventually fade out? Is he the one that really belongs here? Am I just created? Or am I really the one who should be here? If there's only supposed to be one of us, and I'm sure at one point there was only one of us, which one is it? I don't think either of us really wants to leave.

"Fuck." I whisper, frustrated with the monologue in my head. My voice sounds strange and unfamiliar. It startles me and I look around the room to see if anyone else had spoken. Which of course they haven't because I'm the only one in the room. They're right outside, arguing about something. The two men's voices that I want so hard to accept are real, but I know they can't be, and a woman's voice that sounds at once familiar and far removed.

The door opens and I can't stop myself from reacting, from turning to look even though I know that the longer I pretend they're here the worse it will be when I have to go back to reality.

The woman I heard in the hall is brought in backwards with Logan's hand over her mouth. They shut the door behind them. Hank is looking at me apprehensively but hopefully. Logan turns around, holding to woman close to himself so she can't escape his grasp. She stiffens for a moment, her eyes widen and a moan echoes across the silent room. She lurches forward, and even though he's holding her and doesn't let go I can't help my reaction. I stiffen and back up, only stopping when I hit the wall. She looks like she's going to cry and Hank looks disappointed. Logan's face reads nothing. She manages to wriggle out of his hold and suddenly she's flying across the room towards me. I panic and my arms are out to stop her before I can even think about it. I've pushed her and she falls onto her butt. She looks at me in shock. I feel all their eyes on me and I feel like a bug under a microscope. I feel like I'm losing control, like it's all closing in on me. I slide along the wall, scrabbling to grab a hold of the wall, to grab a hold of myself. She tries to sidle towards me and I know Hank and Logan have both stepped in closer, closing the circle, closing my space. I sink to the ground and try to pull myself in. It's not working. Gambit is worried and I feel him coming forward to take the bad away. He wants to fight, to protect me because he feels my hold loosening. My nails dig into the wood floor. I feel the warmth from Logan and Hank meaning they are very close. I'm trying as hard as I can to hold onto myself. Then I feel the damp heat of her hand touch my cold hand. And I can't hold him back anymore. I clench my teeth and I hear gasps when I slam my head into the floor in my last effort to maintain control. I feel the skin above my eyebrow split and then I'm gone.

Logan realized that something had changed. He was afraid something like this would happen if Storm tried to go near him. He rushed forward to grab him when Remy started trying to put his head through the floor, fear making his blood run cold. Storm backed away, a hand over her mouth to stop herself from crying out. Certain facts became clearly evident to her. Something was terribly wrong with her brother.

Remy jumped up and Logan stopped, realizing instantly that something had changed, that Remy was displaying a strength they had yet to see. Those eyes that had before looked in turns so dead and so afraid were full of anger and a steely do-not-mess-with-me glare. Blood was running down the side of his face but he didn't notice. Logan had only seen him this way a few times that he had known him. When someone he loved was in danger. When he was getting ready to fight.

"Remy, you don't want to do that." He didn't respond. Didn't even look at him. He was looking at the one who had made him feel threatened. Storm had turned the balance into something frightening.

"Gambit." Logan let the warning color his tone. He would not allow Remy to hurt Ororo, Remy would never forgive himself once he realized what he had done.

Gambit turned and looked at him. Weary. Unsure. Gambit took a step closer to Logan and Logan stood his ground, waiting to see what he would do. Hank near about pissed himself with joy when he realized Remy was reacting to them, showing an interest in his surroundings despite the reasons why.

Gambit was right next to him, looking down on him since he was considerable taller than Logan. His right hand came up and long fingers splayed across Logan's shoulder. Gambit frowned a bit and Logan wondered why. Gambit peered into his eyes, those blue eyes that did nothing but look curiously back at him. Gambit ran his hands over his hair, over his shoulder and arms, feeling the muscles twitch involuntarily beneath his fingers. Everyone was watching him. Storm was still on the floor, gasping wetly, trying to process the whole situation. She couldn't understand what he was doing, why he was being this way, what had caused this.

Gambit stepped away. Took another step back, then another. He buried his head in his hands. "I'm goin' fuckin' insane." The men heard him mumble to himself. Logan snorted.

"It seems like you're finally coming out of it, actually." His head snapped up and those eyes focused on his and Logan felt a twinge of uncertainty. This man may not be on his best game, he may be completely insane and have no idea what he was doing, but he still had his predatory instincts. Logan walked to him and held him by his shoulders, forcing the younger man to look him in the eyes. " Why don't you tell us what happened?" It was the easiest way to try and help him.

For being so thin, obviously starved and sleep deprived, he moved faster than Logan could keep track of. He felt the force of something hitting him, no someone, Remy, plowing into him like a linebacker, knocking him on his ass. He froze when he felt those fine boned hands on either side of his neck. He knew if he moved, he would get his neck broken. Hank froze and Storm was silent.

"Remy," Hank tried to bring him into conversation, to remind him that he was here with his friends. "What is wrong? What did Logan say that upset you."

"Like y' don't know," he snarled, never losing his grip on Logan. And Logan didn't want to fight him and hurt the boy in the process. "Keepin' me here. Both of y'. I know y' know where I go." Remy's eyes squeeze shut, his jaw clenched as he brought himself under control. "Y' know where I go when y're fuckin' me, tryin' to make me scream and beg and accept and fight. And it pisses y' off that even when I'm supposed to be y'r possession, y'r toy, y' can't have me. I know it pisses Sinister off that even when he saved me from the ice, the people I take comfort from, the only comfort I get is from the same people who despise me and don't give a damn what y' do to me. And y' just want the things you think are his. Isn't that what y're always saying while y're fucking me unconscious or trying to flay me alive? "I have the one thing the runt doesn't." Well congratu-fucking-lations. I don't think he really cares. And y' might be ahead of the game now…but I'm going to win in the end. Y' can't keep me tied to this life forever."

"Remy?" Hank was trying to process what he had just been told. He had been shocked and elated when Remy began to speak in that hoarse, smoke-ruined voice. But all that joy had left and he had a hard time wrapping his mind around what he just found out. Sinister had him? And someone else too, apparently. And…it was one thing to know, logically about the rapes, another to have him just so matter-of-factly state them as though they were everyday occurrences. And they probably had been. But the way he was talking was as though he thought they were someone else. Hank couldn't imagine what Remy was seeing to make him think that. Hank wanted nothing more than to know what was going on inside this young man's mind. Sinister…. No wonder Remy was as mentally unsure as he was, Sinister was the master of manipulation, and there was no way to know what kind of tricks he had played on the boy.

Storm felt like puking hearing that admission.

"This-" He said, a sweeping hand gesture across the room, indicating all of them, "is a dream".

"Remy, no it's not." Hank told him gently.

"What happens when I wake up…I'll either wake up to find out that this is a dream, or I'll wake up to find out that…this really isn't a dream. And what do I do then? I don't even know which one I want. Which one is the better kind of hell?" Remy said tiredly, sounding an inch within crying and sounding so much like the unsure youth that he was.

"Brother," Storm tried to plead, coming closer to him.

Remy actually growled at her. "Y' think I'm still her brother? Really? After all this shit y' played then….and especially now? She would never have me now…and after be left behind…I won't have any of them. Y' can't play them games with me." Storm's heart broke at hearing those words. She knew that they were true, he wasn't trying to hide his feelings about them because he didn't think they were really who they looked like.

"Hank, try and hack into the mainframe and put the mansion on high alert. If Sinister's involved, we want every alarm in this place to go off the second he gets inside…'cause you know the second he finds out where Remy is he's gonna come for him. But we don't want everybody else to know."

"Of course, no need to let everyone into this..." He looked at Storm's tear streaked face and Remy's angered one and Logan, trying to remain calm, "charming family reunion."

"Remy. Would you like to let go of Logan now, please? He is only trying to help you. We all are." Gambit paid him no mind, staring through him. "Gambit?" Suddenly those intense eyes were focused on him and Hank felt very uncomfortable, still unsure what was going on in that head of his. "Would you let go of him. No one is going to hurt you." Gambit stared at him for a long moment, before his hands loosened and he shoved Logan away from him, a fighting move meant to give him a moment to prepare in case Logan turned and attacked him. Logan rubbed his neck for a second before he went and hoisted Ororo to her shaky feet. No need to make this situation any worse than it was. Taking two threatening elements out of the picture would calm Remy down.

"Think you've had enough excitement for one day." They walked out of the room, Logan dragging a confused and emotionally distraught Storm behind him.

When the door closed, it was only Gambit and Hank. Hank sat on the bed and merely watched Gambit as he hugged himself, leaning against the wall. Those crimson and onyx eyes were watering and Hank felt his stomach twist when he uttered a simple, tired sentence in a choked voice; "Why are y' doin' this to us?"

Logan walked 'Ro all the way to her room, just to make sure she told no one, at least not right now. They didn't meet anyone. Once they were in her room and he turned to leave she spoke.

"What is wrong with him, Logan? What happened?" Her voice was steady; she had spent the whole time since leaving his room controlling her emotions, calming the erratic weather outside that was no doubt alerting her teammates to her emotional status.

Logan rubbed a hand over his face. "That was the first he's spoken since we found him at a mental hospital a few days ago. So now we know Sinister had him, and some other sick bastard. This whole situation….tickles the back of my mind….but I'm too worried about the kid to focus on it. Whoever else had him worked a number on him. He's been starved, mutilated. His hand's crushed; he hurts himself, like you saw. He has all these weird behaviors. He's been raped. 'Ro" His pleading eyes turned to her and she saw how much this was affecting him, how much more than she expected it to. "He's broken. Someone broke him. And…we left him there to let it happen."

Storm felt sick at hearing again that Remy had been raped. For someone who loved sex so much, who was sex as much as he was, to have something that was so essentially him turned into a punishment…

"Logan," She placed a hand on his shoulder. "You were not there. Do not try and take the blame for this. I was there. Hank was there. We take some blame…but someone is going to have to die for this."

Logan saw the blood lust in her eyes. No one hurts her brother and gets away with it. The animal in Logan roared its agreement. Pack protects pack.

"Gambit, you are safe, whoever hurt you before will not get you here. Your family will protect you." As soon as he said it Hank realized the irony of that statement when they had all but given him to Sinister on a silver platter.

Remy just kept looking at him. And then he watched the strangest thing happen. The fighter's stance disappeared; the confused, pain-filled eyes were back. Remy was back. And he was being as tight lipped as ever.

"Remy?" Hank asked, unsure as he so often seemed to be these days. Those eyes flickered up to his before finding something on the floor to look at. Hank came off the bed and sat next to him. Remy made no attempt to get away but he did not acknowledge him either.

"Remy? Do you want to tell me where you went?"