"Wake up, sleepy head."
"I don't wanna."
I mumble, brushing away the hand on my shoulder and rolling over. I was having the most wonderful dream...
"Dobe. Sakura left when I had to carry you back."
My eyes snap open.
"You mean that wasn't a dream?!"
Oops. I should have said nightmare. Maybe that would let him carry on his life as if it'd never happened. He'll probably forget about it quickly, and things will go back to normal between us: He'll stand around looking sexy, and I'll stand to the side, secretly staring at him and having dirty thoughts. The only thing different will be Sakura. She'll most likely turn extremely bitchy towards us both.
"No, it wasn't. Uh, about that... I'm sorry... Thanks for helping me out though. I don't think she'll be bothering me anymore."
"... Glad to help. I'm going back to sleep now." Where I can keep replaying that explosion of a kiss as much as I want, whether you like it or not.
"Is that it?!"
I look up at him in surprise, and detect a slight blush. He's giving me that weird look again; the one I don't understand. Wait... Does he actually like me?
"What... do you mean, 'is that it'?"
"I kissed you for crying out loud!"
I can't hide my dopey smile at that. "Yeah, I know! It got you out of your problem!"
"Are... Are you serious?!"
"What?!"
"Do I have to kiss you again, Dobe?!"
'I have no objections, but I don't see what you're trying to get out of this time.' "Do you need a review or something?! What do you want from me?!"
Typical me, blurting out things I really don't want to say. What I really meant was: 'Take me now!' ... Am I allowed take-backs? I guess not, because he's getting up to leave.
"Ah, wait!"
I catch him by his arm warmer, and he stops.
"That's not exactly what I'm trying to say. Heck, that's not even remotely close! I usually can't speak what I mean very well, and I end up with the exact opposite, even though I try to say what I mean, but it just doesn't come out right. Does that make sense?"
"So far."
"I really don't know if you meant the kiss or not, so I'm kinda not sure how to react. I know I'm slow, and I know... I know I'm a klutz, but I... I..."
... Trail off into silence because I don't know what to say. I just cling to his arm, and hope he doesn't hit me for being so stupid. I must be talking gibberish; I don't even understand myself. Not like I could even hear through my stupid overly loud heartbeat. Why?! Why did it have to happen like this?! To my surprise he instead turns, and I finally find some way to end my sentence, letting him go and blushing furiously.
"I'm so confused. I never change."
My view of the floor is suddenly altered as Sasuke squats in front of me, and lifts my chin with a curled finger. I'm about to say I'm sorry, but he pulls me into another kiss. If I thought that other one rocked, this one must be like a dynamite factory! When he finally pulls away, we're both panting.
"That's why I love you, Naruto."
OH MY GOD, NARUTO! GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER AND ANSWER!! (Hey, he said I wasn't dead, right!)
"I..." I'm about to say I love him too, when I remember Sakura, and how hard she tried all those years. "I'm sorry, Sasuke..."
I don't look at him, and bury my face in my pillow. I just can't crush everyone's fantasies, even for my own.
"... I don't."
The weight of those terrible words echoes through my room, crushing me in its lie. I almost wonder what Sasuke looks like, but I never want to see a god upset. I hate never being able to change! I always have to be the good guy!
"Naruto..."
I don't want him to see me either, or he'll know that I lied. My pillow is starting to get wet, but I don't care. I've just given up everything for the sake of a few stupid fan girls. Okay, more than a few, but I know what it's like to want someone so bad. It's either he's single, or you can't see him anymore. He's forever beyond your reach, and your world comes crashing down around your ears. In my case it was just swallowed up by a big black hole, but you get what I'm saying.
I feel a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off half-heartedly. I'm trying to hide the fact that I'm crying, and I hope it's working. He gets up, and leaves without another word. He closes the door behind himself, and I hear his footsteps recede. When I couldn't hear him anymore, I finally just let myself cry. What was I thinking?! I have no fears of rejection to worry about, so why can't I just confess?! All the other girls do! ... But... I'm not a girl. It's unnatural for boys to be together; I'd be reducing our village by two boys, and there sure are a lot of girls around here.
I end up crying myself back to sleep, not caring what-so-ever about today's mission. The week is almost up, and then we'll have to go back to classes at the academy. I can't wait. Note the sarcasm. I'm never going to be a ninja if I keep having so many emotions. Tools aren't supposed to become emotionally unstable at any time in their lives, especially not over something stupid, like love.