Shinobi among Wizards
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Harry Potter, or any other anime, manga, game, book, or anything else that might make an appearance in this fic... I own nothing
Chapter 5 - Letters, and The Keeper of Keys
"Normal talking"
'Normal thinking'
"Demon talking/Jutsu/Spell"
'Demon thinking'
~Parseltongue~
Written Down
The escape of the Brazilian boa constrictor earned Harry his longest-ever punishment, by the time he was allowed out of the cupboard again, the summer holidays had started and Dudley had already broken his new video camera, crashed his remote control airplane, and, first time out on his new racing bike, knocked down old Mrs. Figg as she crossed Privet Drive on her crutches. Now school was over Harry and Naruto spent as much time as possible out of the house, doing several projects and thinking about the end of the holidays, when September came he would be going off to Hogwarts and, Dudley would be going at Vernon's old private school, Smeltings. Piers Polkiss was going there too, Naruto on the other hand, would be stuck with the Dursleys, or at least a clone of him as he had several projects to before his time at Hogwarts was to start.
One day in July, Petunia took Dudley to London to buy his Smeltings uniform, leaving Harry and Naruto at Mrs. Figg's. Mrs. Figg wasn't as bad as usual. It turned out that after she broken her leg tripping over the cat that they put a genjutsu, she wasn't as fond of them. She let them watch television and gave Naruto a bit of chocolate cake that tasted as though she'd had it for several years, thought he didn't complain. That evening, Dudley paraded around the living room for the family in his brand-new uniform. Smeltings boys wore maroon tailcoats, orange knickerbockers, and flat straw hats called boaters. They also carried knobbly sticks, used for hitting each other while the teachers weren't looking. This was supposed to be good training for later life, as he looked at Dudley in his new knickerbockers, Vernon said gruffly that it was the proudest moment of his life, Petunia burst into tears and said she couldn't believe it was her Ickle Dudleykins, he looked so handsome and grown-up.
Harry didn't trust himself to speak, he thought two of his ribs might have already cracked from trying not to laugh and Naruto had to place a silencing seal on himself so they couldn't him laugh.
There was a horrible smell in the kitchen the next morning when Harry went in for breakfast, it seemed to be coming from a large metal tub in the sink, he went to have a look, the tub was full of what looked like dirty rags swimming in grey water. "What's this?" he asked Petunia, who's lips tightened as they always did if he dared ask a question. "It's your school uniform," she said and Harry looked in the bowl again. "Oh," he said, "I didn't realize it had to be so wet." Naruto laughed silently, since he couldn't make noise at the moment.
"Don't be stupid," snapped Petunia. "I'm dyeing some of Dudley's old things grey for you. It'll look just like everyone else's when I've finished."
"I don't think so," Naruto whispered to Harry after taking off the seal, Harry agreed, he seriously doubted this, but thought it best not to argue.
Dudley and Vernon came in, both with wrinkled noses because of the smell from Harry's new uniform. Vernon opened his newspaper as usual and Dudley banged his Smelting stick, which he carried everywhere, on the table. The heard the click of the mail slot and flop of letters on the doormat and Harry went to get the mail. Three things lay on the doormat: a postcard from Vernon's sister Marge, who was vacationing on the Isle of Wight, a brown envelope that looked like a bill and… a letter for Harry.
Harry picked it up and stared at it, no one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him, who would? He had no friends from school and his disciples couldn't write to him without drawing attention, no other relatives beside Naruto, he didn't belong to the library, so he'd never even got rude notes asking for books back.
Yet here it was, a letter, addressed to him so plainly there could be no mistake:
Mr. H. Potter
The Smallest Bedroom
4 Privet Drive
Little Whinging
Surrey
The envelope was thick and heavy, made of yellowish parchment, and the address was written in emerald-green ink, there was no stamp. Turning the envelope over, Harry saw a purple wax seal bearing a coat of arms; a lion, an eagle, a badger, and a snake surrounding a large letter H, he realizes that this was the letter from Hogwarts. Harry toyed with the idea of opening it, but decide not too he already knew what it said and knew he couldn't gave a reply, plus it would be funny to see Petunia and Vernon's faces.
Harry went back to the kitchen, shaking his head to get rid of the thoughs that he clearly got from spending to much time with his brother, he handed Vernon the bill and the postcard, sat down, and slowly began to open the yellow envelope as Vernon ripped open the bill, snorted in disgust, and flipped over the postcard. "Marge's ill," he informed Petunia. "Ate a funny whelk…"
"Dad!" said Dudley suddenly. "Dad, Harry's got something!"
Harry was on the point of unfolding his letter, which was written on the same heavy parchment as the envelope, when it was jerked sharply out of his hand by Vernon.
"That's mine!" said Harry, as he pretend to trying to snatch it back.
"Who'd be writing to you?"
"Lots of people do," said Naruto as if was obvious
Vernon sneered at Naruto before shaking the letter open with one hand and glancing at it, his face went from red to green faster than a set of traffic lights and it didn't stop there, within seconds it was the greyish white of old porridge. "P-P-Petunia!" he gasped as Dudley tried to grab the letter to read it, but Vernon held it high out of his reach.
Petunia took it curiously and read the first line for a moment it looked as though she might faint, she clutched her throat and made a choking noise "Vernon! Oh my goodness-Vernon!"
They stared at each other, seeming to have forgotten that Harry, Naruto and Dudley were still in the room. Dudley wasn't used to being ignored. He gave his father a sharp tap on the head with his Smelting stick. "I want to read that letter," he said loudly.
"Get out, all of you," croaked Vernon, stuffing the letter back inside its envelope "Let me see it!" demanded Dudley.
"OUT!" roared Vernon, and he took both Harry and Dudley by the scruffs of their necks and threw them into the hall, slamming the kitchen door behind them.
Next morning at breakfast everyone was rather quiet Dudley was in shock, he'd screamed, whacked his father with his Smelting stick, been sick on purpose, kicked his mother, and thrown his tortoise through the greenhouse room, and he still didn't have his room back. Vernon and Petunia kept looking at each other darkly then the post came, they made Dudley go and get it. They heard him banging things with his Smelting stick all the way up the hall. Then he shouted, "There's another one! 'Mr. H. Potter, The Smallest Bedroom, Four Privet Drive-'"
With a strangled cry, Vernon leapt from his seat and ran down the hall, Harry right behind him. Vernon had to wrestle Dudley to the ground to get the letter from him, which was made difficult by the fact that Harry had grabbed Vernon around the neck from behind and after a minute of confused fighting, in which everyone but Naruto got hit a lot by the Smelting stick, Vernon straightened up, gasping for breath, with Harry's letter clutched in his hand.
The next morning he crept across the dark hall toward the front door, try to make it look like he real wanted that letter when he saw Vernon lying at the foot of the front door in a sleeping bag, clearly making sure that Harry didn't do exactly what he'd been trying to do. But this gave he a gave him a narutoish idea, so Harry leapt onto Vernon big and squashy face.
"AAAAARRRGGHH!"
After Vernon shouted at Harry for about half an hour (which he believe was worth it) and then told him to go make a cup of tea. Harry shuffled miserably off into the kitchen and by the time he got back, the mail had arrived, right into Vernon's lap. Harry could see three letters addressed in green ink.
On Friday, no less than twelve letters arrived for Harry, and as they couldn't go through the mail slot, they had been pushed under the door, slotted through the sides, and a few even forced through the small window in the downstairs bathroom. Vernon stayed at home again after burning all the letters, he got out a hammer and nails and boarded up the cracks around the front and back doors so no one could go out. He hummed "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" as he worked, and jumped at small noises.
On Saturday, things began to get out of hand. Twenty-four letters to Harry found their way into the house, rolled up and hidden inside each of the two dozen eggs that their very confused milkman had handed Petunia through the living room window.
While Vernon made furious telephone calls to the post office and the dairy trying to find someone to complain to, Petunia shredded the letters in her food processor.
"Who one earth wants to talk to you this badly?" Dudley asked Harry in amazement.
"Hogwarts," Thought Harry and Naruto together.
On Sunday morning, Vernon sat down at the breakfast table looking tired and rather ill, but happy. "No post on Sundays," he reminded them cheerfully as he spread marmalade on his newspapers, "no damn letters today -" Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head, next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets, the Dursleys ducked but Harry leapt into the air trying to catch one-
"Out! OUT!"
Vernon seized Harry around the waist and threw him into the hall, when Petunia and Dudley had run out with their arms over their faces, Vernon slammed the door shut. They could hear the letters still streaming into the room, bouncing off the walls and floor. "That does it," said Vernon, trying to speak calmly but pulling out great tufts out of his moustache at the same the same time.
"I want you all back here in five minutes ready to leave, we're going away, just pack some clothes. No arguments!" He looked so dangerous with half his moustache missing that no one dared argue, they drove and they drove, every now and then Vernon would take a sharp turn and drive in the opposite direction for a while. "Shake 'em off . . . shake 'em off," he would mutter whenever he did this.
Vernon stopped at last outside a gloomy-looking hotel on the outskirts of a big city. Dudley snored but Harry stayed awake, sitting on the windowsill, staring down at the lights of passing cars and wondering… They ate stale cornflakes and cold tinned tomatoes on toast for breakfast the next day. They had just finished when the owner of the hotel came over to their table.
"'Scuse me, but is one of you Mr. H. Potter? Only I got about an 'undred of these at the front desk."
She held up a letter so they could read the green ink address:
Mr. H. Potter
Room 17
Railview Hotel
Cokeworth
Harry made a grab for the letter but Vernon knocked his hand out of the way. The woman stared. "I'll take them," said Vernon, standing up quickly and following her from the dining room.
"Wouldn't it be better just to go home, dear?" Petunia suggested timidly, hours later, but Vernon didn't seem to hear her. Exactly what he was looking for, none of them knew. He drove them into the middle of a forest, got out, looked around, shook his head, got back in the car, and off they went again. The same thing happened in the middle of a plowed field, halfway across a suspension bridge, and at the top of a multilevel parking garage.
"Daddy's gone mad, hasn't he?" Dudley asked Petunia dully late that afternoon. Vernon had parked at the coast, locked them all inside the car, and disappeared.
"No he hasn't, he's always been mad," Naruto muttered as it started to rain, great drops beat on the roof of the car Dudley sniveled. "It's Monday," he told his mother. "The Great Humberto's on tonight. I want to stay somewhere with a television."
Monday, this reminded Harry of something, if it was Monday and you could usually count on Dudley to know the days of the week, because of television-then tomorrow, Tuesday, was Harry's eleventh birthday, of course his birthdays were never exactly fun, last year, the Dursleys had given him a coat hanger and a pair of Vernon's old socks, this is why he and Naruto left a clone with the Dursleys and did something fun.
But it looked like they could do it this time, still, you weren't eleven every day.
Vernon was back and he was smiling "That's not good," Naruto whispered to Harry who agreed with him. He was also carrying a long, thin package and didn't answer Petunia when she asked what he'd bought.
"Found the perfect place!" he said. "Come on! Everyone out!" It was very cold outside the car Vernon was pointing at what looked like a large rock way out at sea. Perched on top of the rock was the most miserable little shack you could imagine.
Vernon got a toothless old man to agreed to lend he a boat, the inside of the shack was horrible, it smelled strongly of seaweed, the wind whistled through the gaps in the wooden walls, and the fireplace was damp and empty, and here were only two rooms. They ate a bag of chips each and banana. As night fell, the a storm blew up around them and spray from the high waves splattered the walls of the hut and a fierce wind rattled the filthy windows. Petunia found a few mouldy blankets in the second room and made up a bed for Dudley on the moth-eaten sofa.
She and Vernon went off to the lumpy bed next door, while Harry and Naruto were left to find the softest bit of floor they could and to curl up under the thinnest, most ragged blanket.
The storm raged more and more ferociously as the night went on. Harry couldn't sleep he looked at the lighted dial of Dudley's watch, which was dangling over the edge of the sofa on his fat wrist, told Harry he'd be eleven in ten minutes' time, he lay and watched his birthday tick nearer, wondering if the Dursleys would remember at all, wondering where the letter writer was now.
Five minutes to go. Harry heard something creak outside.
Four minutes to go. Harry could feel someone's chakra coming.
Three minutes to go. It was getting closer.
Two minutes to go. He could heard the rock crumbling into the sea?
One minute to go and he'd be eleven. Thirty seconds…twenty…ten…nine-maybe he'd wake Dudley up, just to annoy him-
three…two…one…
BOOM.
The whole shack shivered and Naruto sat bolt upright, having been awoken but the loud crashing knock.
They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. "Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.
There was a crash behind them and Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands - now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.
"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you - I'm armed."
There was a pause. Then - SMASH!
The door hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.
A giant of a man was standing in the doorway his face was almost completely hidden by a long, shaggy mane of hair and a wild, tangled beard, but you could make out his eyes, glinting like black beetles under all the hair. The giant squeezed his way into the hut, stooping so that his head just brushed the ceiling. He bent down, picked up the door, and fitted it easily back into its frame. The noise of the storm outside dropped a little. He turned to look at them all. "Couldn't make us a cup 'o tea, could yeh? It's not been an easy journey. . . ."
He strode over to the sofa where Dudley sat frozen with fear. "Budge up, yeh great lump," said the stranger.
Dudley squeaked and ran to hide behind his mother, who was crouching, terrified behind Vernon.
"An' here's Harry and Naruto!" said the giant. Harry looked up into the fierce, wild, shadowy face and saw that the beetle eyes were crinkled in a smile.
"Las' time I saw you two, you was only a baby," said the giant.
Vernon made a funny rasping noise. "I demand that you leave at once, sir!" he said. "You are breaking and entering!"
"Like that's gonna work," thought Naruto
"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune," said the giant, he reached over the back of the sofa, jerked the gun out of Vernon's hands, bent in into a knot as easily was if it had been made of rubber, and threw it into a corner of the room.
"He's strong," thought Naruto as Vernon made another funny noise, like a mouse being trodden on.
"Anyway - Harry," said the giant, turning his back on the Dursleys, "A very happy birthday to yeh. Got sommat fer yeh here - I mighta sat on it at some point, but it'll taste all right." From an inside pocket of his black overcoat he pulled a slightly squashed box. Harry opened it and inside was a large, sticky chocolate cake with Happy Birthday Harry written on it in green icing.
Harry looked up at the giant and say a small thank you, and then ask "Who are you?"
The giant chuckled. "True, I haven't introduced meself, Rubeus Hagrid, Keeper of the Keys and Grounds at Hogwarts, yeh'll know all about Hogwarts, o' course."
"Er - no," said Harry lying easy to the giant.
Hagrid looked shocked. "Sorry," Harry said quickly keeping up his act.
"Sorry?" barked Hagrid, turning to stare at the Dursleys, who shrank back into the shadows. "It's them as should be sorry! I knew yeh weren't gettin' yer letter but I never thought yeh wouldn't even know abou' Hogwarts, fer cryin' out loud! Did yeh ever wonder where your parents learned it all?"
"All what?" asked Harry innocently.
"ALL WHAT?" Hagrid thundered. "Now wait jus' a second!" He had leapt to his feet. In his anger he seemed to fill the whole hut. The Dursleys were cowering against the wall. "Do you mean ter tell me," he growled at the Dursleys, "that this boy - this boy! - knows nothin' abou' - about ANYTHING?"
"I know some things," he said. "I can, you know, do math and stuff." But Hagrid simply waved his hand and said, "About our world, I mean, Your world, My world, Naruto's world, Yer parents' world."
"What world?"
Hagrid looked as if he was about to explode. "DURSLEY!" he boomed.
"Note to self - Never on the wrong side of Hagrid's temper," thought both Harry and Naruto
Vernon, who had gone very pale, whispered something that sounded like "Mimblewimble." Hagrid stared wildly at Harry. "But yeh must know about yer mum and dad," he said. "I mean, they're famous. You're famous."
"What? My - mum and dad weren't famous, were they?" Harry ask playing stupid
"Yeh don' know . . . yeh don' know . . ." Hagried ran his fingers through his hair, fixing Harry with a bewildered stare. "Yeh don' know what yeh are?" he said finally.
Vernon suddenly found his voice. "Stop!" he commanded. "Stop right there, sir! I forbid you to tell the boy anything." A braver man than Vernon Dursley would have quailed under the furious look Hagrid gave him; when Hagrid spoke, his every syllable trembled with rage. "You never told them? Never told them what was in the letter Dumbledore left fer him? I was here! I saw Dumbledore leave it, Dursley! An' you've kept it from him all these years?"
"Kept what from me?" said Harry eagerly.
"STOP! I FORBID YOU YOU!" yelled Vernon in a panic and Petunia gave a gasp of horror.
"Like that's gonna stop him," thought Naruto.
"Ah, go boil yer heads, both of yeh," said Hagrid. "Harry - yer a wizard"
There was silence in the hut. Only the sea and the whistling wind could be heard.
"I'm a what?" Harry ask.
"Am I one?" ask Naruto playing his part.
"A wizard, and o' course you are," said Hagrid, sitting back down on the sofa, which groaned and sank even lower, "an a thumpin' good'un, I'd say, once yeh've been trained up a bit. With a mum an' dad like yours, what else would yeh be? An' I reckon it's abou' time yeh read yer letter."
.
Harry stretched out his hand at last to take the yellowish envelope, addressed in emerald green to Mr. H. Potter, The Floor, Hut-on-the-Rock, The Sea.
He pulled out the letter and read:
HOGWARTS SCHOOL of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY.
Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore (Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)
Dear Mr. Potter,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed list of all necessary books and equipment.
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl no later than July 31.
Yours sincerely,
Minerva McGonagall
Deputy Headmistress
"What does it mean, they await my owl?"
"Gallopin' Gorgons, that reminds me," said Hagrid, clapping a hand on his forehead with enough force to knock over a cart horse, and from yet another pocket inside his overcoat he pulled an owl - a real, live, rather ruffled-looking owl - a long quill, and a roll of parchment. With his tongue between his teeth he scribbled a note that Harry could read upside down:
Dear Professor Dumbledore,
Given Harry his letter. Taking him to buy his things tomorrow Weather's horrible. Hope you're well.
Hagrid.
Hagrid rolled up the note, gave it to the owl, which clamped it in its beak, went to the door and threw the owl out into the storm. Then he came back and sat down as though this was a normal as talking on the telephone. "Where was I?" said Hagrid, but at that moment.
Vernon make himself known saying how he swore a stop to that rubbish when they took him and Naruto in, after that Petunia shriek about how see saw her sisters, Harry and Naruto's mom as freaks, which had Naruto glared at Petunia, unfortunate Vernon made the mistake of insulting Dumbledore.
Hagrid seized his umbrella and whirled it over his head, "NEVER-" he thundered, "-INSULT-ALBUS-DUMBLEDORE-IN-FRONT-OF-ME!" He brought the umbrella swishing down through the air to point at Dudley - there was a flash of violet light, a sound like a firecracker, a sharp squeal, and the next second, Dudley was dancing on the spot with his hands clasped over his fat bottom, howling in pain. When he turned his back on them, Naruto saw a curly pig's tail poking through a hole in his trousers.
Naruto and Harry were laughing so hard that they fell off of their seats. Vernon roared, pulling Petunia and Dudley into the other room, he cast one last terrified look at Hagrid and slammed the door behind them, Hagrid looked down at his umbrella and stroked his beard.
"Shouldn'ta lost me temper," he said ruefully, "but it didn't work anyway. Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do." He cast a sideways look at Harry and Naruto under his bushy eyebrows. "Be grateful if yeh didn't mention that ter anyone at Hogwarts," he said. "I'm - er - not supposed ter do magic, strictly speakin'. I was allowed ter do a bit ter follow yeh an' get your letter to yeh an' stuff - one o' the reasons I was so keen ter take on the job -"
"Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
"Oh, well - I was at Hogwarts meself but I - er - got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third yer. They snapped my wand in half an' everything. But Dumbledore let me stay as gamekeeper. Great man, Dumbledore."
"Why were you expelled?" ask Naruto.
"It's gettin' late and we've got lots ter do tomorrow," said Hagrid loudly. "Gotta get up ter town, get all yer books an' that." He took off his thick black coat and threw it to Harry. "You can kip under that," he said. "Don' mind if it wriggles a bit, I think I still got a couple o' doormice in one o' the pockets."
Omake: The Toad Sage
BOOM.
The whole shack shivered and Naruto sat bolt upright, having been awoken but the loud crashing knock.
They knocked again. Dudley jerked awake. "Where's the cannon?" he said stupidly.
There was a crash behind them and Vernon came skidding into the room. He was holding a rifle in his hands - now they knew what had been in the long, thin package he had brought with them.
"Who's there?" he shouted. "I warn you - I'm armed."
There was a pause. Then - SMASH!
The door hit with such force that it swung clean off its hinges and with a deafening crash landed flat on the floor.
A tall man was standing in the doorway, he had extremely long and spiky white hair tied back into a pony tail, with two shoulder-length bangs that framed both sides of his face. He also had red lines that ran down from his eyes and wore a horned forehead protector with the kanji for 'Oil'. he wore a green short shirt kimono and matching pants; under which he wore mesh armour that showed out of the sleeves and legs of his outfit. His outfit was completed with hand guards, a simple black belt, wooden sandals, a red cloak with two simple yellow circles, and a toad summoning scroll on his back.
Harry looked up at the white hair man and ask "Who are you?"
Who am I? Well…" Jiraiya smirked, giving Naruto and Harry a bright smile as he struck a pose. "I am the living legend! I am a man who commands respect! Men look up to me, women love me, and fathers fear me! Open your eyes and take a look! Behold the one and only divine wizard, the powerful Toad Sage that is… the Gallant Jiraiya!"
An awkward silence blew through the hut, and even the storm outside seem to stop as the great Toad Sage was stared at by the Dursleys
Meanwhile Naruto and Harry were using their Sharingan able to memorize and burn the priceless look on the Dursleys faces into their minds.
So chapter 5 is up and chapter 6 will be in a few days