I'm sorry this took so long. I was at camp without internet... Anyways, on with the story!
Jessica: Wait! You forgot the disclaimer!
Me: *pouts* Do I have to?
Jessica: Yes, no getting around it
Me: *Sighs* I don't own the fellowship, ME, Or anything/ anybody in it. * glares at Jess* Good enough?
Jess: It'll do.
2. Dance around Gandalf singing about how Saurman has a longer beard, and is much wiser
Boromir was tired of trudging up the side of this cursed mountain. He was carrying Merry and Pippin while, making a path with Aragorn, who was carrying Frodo and Sam, through the snow for the others. It didn't help that the two strange girls, Stephanie and Jessica, had been throwing snowballs at everyone for the whole time. He breathed a sigh of relief as the girls became tired of throwing snowballs, (apparently they were boring targets) then groaned, as they began singing a ridiculous song about Bananas not being in the sky.
"There are no bananas in the sky, in the sky, There are no bananas in the sky, in the sky, there's a sun, and a moon, and a COCONUT CREAM PIE, but there are no bananas in the sky." Stephanie and Jessica sang at the top of their lungs, while skipping up the side of the mountain, grinning as they heard Boromir groan at their singing. The Fellowship still hadn't run into Legolas, who was most likely at the entrance to Moria, battered and bruised from the fangirl attack. " Hey" Stephanie whispered to Jessica " part one is complete, time for part two." Jess smirked, " can I do this one?" "sure" Stephanie paused " if you think you can handle it." " Of course I can handle it, why else would I ask if I could try." the younger girl snapped at her older sister. Jessica pranced ( yes I did say pranced) up to Gandalf, and began dancing around him, singing: " Saurman has a longer beard than Gandalf, and of course is much wiser, the length of Gandalf's beard and the level of his knowledge, could never compare to Saurman's, Gandalf's beard is dirty, and Saurman's is flirty-" Jessica stopped abruptly " I think I may have scared myself just now" she shuddered " I was never good at writing songs anyways" she glared at Stephanie who was rolling in the snow laughing at her sister's mistake. Gandalf had an irritated look on his face " Saurman is NOT wiser, and my beard is NOT shorter" he growled " yes he is" called Steph from behind, " He invented bombs, did anyone else? Nooooooo, therefore, he is much wiser" " What are bombs?" asked Pippin "errr" the girl struggled to come up with a simple explanation for bombs " they're kinda like fireworks, only they are designed to kill and destroy things like, big walls and big fortresses leading into caves drilled into mountains" pippin still looked confused " okayyy" and that was the end of that conversation.
When they reached the entrance to Moria, the first thing the fellowship noticed, was Legolas, curled up in the fetal position on the ground, rocking back and forth. Legolas glanced up, his eyes flickered with relief as he noticed the fellowship, but screamed as he saw the girls, and ran behind Aragorn. " are they here for me too?" he wimpered, pointing at the two sisters who were smirking at him. Stephanie ran up to him, laughing as he cowered in fear, " nah, we're just the ones who sent those girls after you" Legolas stood up " You sent those-those THINGS after me?" " DIE!" he shot an arrow at stephanie, eyes widening as she pulled out a colorful stick and used it to deflect the arrow. Everyone was silent for a moment, until they heard Jessica mutter " drat, stupid reception, I can't get any service here" they all turned to stare at her " What on earth are you doing?" Stephanie was obviously as confused as everyone else " I was trying to text mom and let her know that we'd be late for dinner" Jessica went back to trying to get a signal " You're worrying that we'll be late for dinner, when I'm in the middle of making Legolas look like the girl that he is" " HEY!" Legolas shouted " I am NOT a girl" he prepared to shoot another arrow " Don't bother" Aragorn sighed " we've tried everything, you can't get rid of them" the elf's eyes flicked back and forth between the girls and Aragorn " They have promised not to send anymore fangirls after you or anyone else." Legolas put his arrow away " I'm Stephanie and this is Jessica" Stephanie introduced herself and her sister to the nervous elf. Jessica smiled at poor Legolas feeling a flash of pity for her sisters apparent target " Don't worry, we won't do anything that could physically harm you" Stephanie laughed, putting a special emphasis on physically, and watched as the elf visibly relaxed.
Moria was pretty boring, all it was, was stone, stone, a skeleton or two, old diaries ( who knew that dwarves kept diaries, Steph was going to have to make fun of Gimli for that later), arrows, blah, blah, blah. The girls were getting rather bored, and everyone knew how dangerous things got when Stephanie and Jessica were bored. Once, they had replaced Gandalf's staff with a painted old stick, it took him all day to figure out the switch. Another time, they had cut Gimli's beard into the shape of a tree, Legolas enjoyed that one, Gimli had not. Anyways, they had FINALLY reached Balin's tomb when Stephanie and Jessica started bickering about something.
" I'm the Lord of the Rings nerd, I should get to say it"
" But it's one of the few, emphasis on few, lines that I have completely memorized"
" NO WAY!" Stephanie roared, and everyone became silent except for Gimli, who was still crying over his cousin or something being dead. Suddenly, a random arrow shot out of nowhere, nearly hitting Jessica, but due to her lack of height it missed. Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas ran over to bar the door, when Boromir and the girls all shouted at the same time " they have a cave troll!" Gimli decided that now was a good time to do his creepy war dance thingy on Balin's tomb shouting, " Let em' come! There's still one dwarf in Moria that draws breath!" Jess and Steph quit their staring contest and began laughing at Gimli " Great way to show respect to a dead relative Gimli, I applaud you for that" Stephanie called before using her baton to " poof" a bow and some arrows for Jessica, and a couple of daggers for herself before they charged into the fight. After the fight, which ended soon after Legolas decided to kill the cave troll, everyone , except the girls, thought Frodo had died, until Aragorn pulled the spear lance thingy out of him, and he woke up, gasped for breath, did the usual drama queen routine, ( the girls were very disappointed, they thought their presence would have changed the story and killed him, but oh well) and they all headed off again.
" Blondie, why did you have to kill him? I was going to keep him, and call him Fred, and feed him, and ride him, and play with him, and eventually attack him with marshmallows and watermelons" Stephanie whined, Legolas looked absolutely bewildered " What are you talking about?" " THE CAVE TROLL YOU IDIOT" Jessica snapped " She's never going to let you forget this now" she growled shuddering at the thought of her crazy, older sister having a cave troll for a pet. " Why don't you just get a horse or something?" Jess asked " a horse is NOT half as dangerous as a cave troll or even a morpheel" was apparently a good reason in the nerd's books. " What on Earth is a Morpheel?" was most likely what everyone was thinking ( except for Steph) but only Jess said it out loud " a morpheel is the Twilight Princess water temple boss" Stephanie seemed pleased that she, again, knew something everyone else didn't. Silence... " Uhh, geezer" Jessica asked pulling at Gandalf's robes " what's that" everyone looked in the direction she was looking " IT'S THE BALROG GUYS, FLEE!" Stephanie shouted, and for once, they believed her. Skipping ahead a bit the fellowship was all jumping across that thin bridge thingy ( why on earth did dwarves build such thin bridges, weren't they huge?) when Aragorn picked up Jess and chucked her to Boromir, ( she was rather annoyed) and before he could grab Steph, she jumped across shouting " I CAN FLY!" Skipping ahead again, Geezer fought the Balrog, and evidently lost while Frodo decided to be a drama queen and scream in his high pitched, girly voice " GANDALFFFFFFFFF." Poor Aragorn had to carry him, again, out of Moria and into the light. Miss Drama Queen- ahem, I mean Frodo decided to be all dramatic and walk off and cry in a corner. Stephanie smirked at Aragorn " here Simba, I can take care of Miss Drama Queen for you, he'll be back in no time." Needless to say, Frodo showed his true MDQ ( Miss Drama Queen) colors, he threw a tantrum, proving Stephanie's assumptions to be true, he was a five year old girl AND a drama queen.
Thank you to: Tiara d' Cullen, The Awesome one, and randomewriter90 for reviewing, you guys are the best! :) Thank you to all who added this story and myself onto their alert list, I'm sorry I can't name you guys, my stupid e-mail hates me..:P Again, I am so sorry this took so long, darn you internetless camps... Actually it was a pretty awesome camp. I might be working there next year... AND the staff get free wifi yay! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it! R&R guys!
~ Foundations of Stone