Heya guys! I'm so sorry it took so long, see below for excuses :). Anyways, this chapter becomes a bit more serious, but I hope you guys enjoy!
Disclaimer: Blah blah blah, I don't own LOTR, any of the characters/ places. Or things... See my profile for my full disclaimer... I'm too lazy to type up the whole thing...
3. Steal all of Merry's and Pippin's pipeweed and replace it with Chili powder.
Pippin opened his eyes, and began to glance around the fellowship's make-shift camp. Merry, Boromir, Gandalf, Legolas, and Aragorn were all still alseep, Frodo was sulking about something while sitting under a tree, and Sam was stirring something in a pot, over a fire. " Morning Pippin" Sam greeted him as he sat down beside the quieter hobbit, " Morning Sam" Pippin replied while looking around the campsite again, the two girls weren't there. " knowing those ladies, they're probably planning something" was Sam's irritated response when Pippin had asked him about Stephanie's and Jessica's whereabouts. Pippin smiled at Sam " come on Sam, they don't mean any harm, this is just their way of having fun" Sam glared at Pippin " Fun, should not be trying to hurt someone, who is already bearing a great burden" "AND" he added " why are YOU siding with some strange women, whom we met only a week ago" Sam was becoming dangerously close to yelling. " pipe down Sam!" Pippin hissed to the overweight Hobbit " You'll wake the whole fellowship up", Sam merely glared at Pip before turning back to his pot. Pippin sighed, it would take Sam a long time to get over the whole " Brawl" incident, he got up from his spot beside the fire, and went off searching for the two girls.
*****************************Meanwhile***********************************
Stephanie and Jessica trudged through the forest looking for the perfect spot to have their meeting. " AHA!" Jessica cried as she found a perfect clearing, across the river. " Look Steph," she called her older sister over " How's that clearing?" " Hrmmmmmm, it could work, but it has to be out of sight, no one can see us" Stephanie called from her perch, in a tree. Jessica grinned " howabout, I go over and run around, dance, try to make myself seen, and if you can't see me from that tree, then it's a good spot?" " okayyyy" Steph sounded hesitant " If you're attacked by anything, and I can't see you, just scream" Stephanie ordered from her tree. Jessica sighed " I can take care of myself, thank you very much" Stephanie didn't respond, so Jessica assumed her sister had heard her, and she headed to a shallow point in the river. Stephanie had been sitting in the tree for an hour or so, when all of a sudden, something fell from the sky
" ano835yjfn3ug(**(7(8niofg"
Stephanie looked around in confusion " Who's there?" she called to the air. " Sorry bout' that, Piper stepped on the keyboard" came an irritated voice, Steph whipped around and came face to face with none other than...
*******************************Meanwhile*********************************
Pippin was walking through the forest, when he heard two voices, both were feminine, but one was bored and threatening at the same time, and the other was irritated and guarded. He pushed his way through the undergrowth, and nearly ran right into another girl. " Pip" Stephanie narrowed her eyes at the other girl " this is the authoress that Jess and I mentioned" Pippin looked at the girl, she had shoulder length chestnut coloured hair, that was straight except for the tips of her hair, which had a slight curl to them. Her eyes were a misty blue grey colour, that seemed to pierce right through you. Her skin was slightly tanned but had a yellowish pigment to it. The "authoress" smirked at Pippin " just being called the authoress, gets boring after a while, so you can just call me Lee from now on." Stephanie looked like she was going to faint from shock " y-you gave away your t-true name?"Stephanie stuttered " you never do that!" Lee shrugged " I was getting tired of just being " the authoress."
The girls glanced at the sky " oh no" Lee groaned " What" Pippin asked beginning to worry " I just remembered, I left Piper by the keyboard" Stephanie's eyes widened in horror " run for your lives" she screeched. Suddenly more things began falling from the sky.
" HOI&(HHK((&HBGT%RFT" nearly crushed Pippin, but Lee pulled him away in time.
"BBBHNJGSDVJHDBJD*&^%$##$%" landed right on Stephanie's foot as she yelped in pain. When the trio glanced at the sky again, they saw another message that frightened them.
" PIPER RULES NOW! YOU SILLY MORTALS AND AUTHORESS, WILL BE CRUSHED, ALONG WITH EVERY PERSON OR THING IN MY QUEST TO RULE THE WORLD!"
Stephanie shuddered " Who knew that a five or six pound Shorkie puppy could become a villain"
" Well, she is my dog, would you expect any less?"
" come to think of it, no"
" Your world must be a very dark place if dogs can become evil"
" Yup, our would is definitely a dark place, but not due to the dogs"
" What makes it dark then?"
" Men, Women, people in general" the two girls chorused. The trio began walking back to the camp when they heard a scream. Stephanie froze and instantly started running back to the river. " What are you doing" Pippin and Lees called starting after her " That was Jessica's scream" Stephanie shouted over the wind, trying to judge how wide the river was, and if she could make it across without looking for a shallow point.
********************************Meanwhile********************************
Jessica felt her spidey senses tingling, and she jumped to the left, landing on the ground with a thud just as an arrow wizzed by her head, hitting the tree right above her. " I hope Steph gets here soon" she muttered to herself, picking up a branch and attempting to use it as a club. Jess suddenly felt something pierce her side, and she cried out in pain as she looked at what had caused the pain. " Great, just great" she glared at the arrow in her side, and she nearly fell over as a sword came dangerously close to cutting her in half. She could picture the Red queen from Alice in Wonderland leading the Uruk Hai, while shouting " OFF WITH HER HEAD!" The thought made Jessica smile, she even laughed a bit. " What are you laughing about human" snarled one of the Uruk Hai, standing a little bit too close to her, hatred filling his voice as he said the word " Human", while attempting to slice her head off with his sword. " uhh, uhh" The thirteen year old girl scrambled to think of an answer " I call Jigglypuff" she screamed at the top of her lungs... The three Uruk Hai that had attacked her, stop fighting and stared at her. When nothing happened, the three Orc-Goblin hybrids stared at Jessica with a strange look on their faces... The Uruk-Hai that had referred to her as " Human" barked something at the others in the Black Speech before turning back to the terrified girl with a malicious smile on his face, " We were sent here to find something, a halfling, he has an elvish weapon that my master wants, tell me where it is" the monster gave Jessica a second to think. The ring, they're after the ring! Jessica realized with a start, too late, the captain must have seen the look of realization cross her face as his grin grew even wider on his ugly face. Jessica stepped backwards slowly before she backed up into a tree, there was nowhere left to run, she had Uruk-Hai's surrounding her on three sides, while the tree blocked her fourth and only escape... The two side Uruk-Hai's started pulling out some black rope, as Jessica looked closer, she saw that it had tiny, sharp, barbs sticking out of it. " Please Steph, hurry" she whispered, a single tear slowly falling down her cheek, this was NOT part of the plan, she and Steph came here to have fun and torment the fellowship, not die right at the beginning. So much for her happy ending.
***********************************Meanwhile*****************************
Stephanie, Lee, and Pippin had finally made it across the river, mind you, all three of them were wet, due to Stephanie's and Pippin's lack of balance. Lee and Steph, who had been coming up with strategies, sudden;y crashed into Pippin's back as he halted. " Why'd you stop?" Lee growled, irritatedly. Pippin pulled aside some branches, " Look" he hissed, " there she is" and sure enough, there was Jessica, trapped against a tree, surrounded by three Uruk -Hai. " Alright guys, I'm going in" Stephanie announced quietly to Lee and Pippin before attempting to poof some weapons using her baton. Lee and Pippin waited, Steph tried banging her baton against her hand, then her leg, and finally a tree. The teen groaned " What is it?" Pippin asked, tilting his head in confusion " hehe" Stephanie laughed nervously " I kinda...ermmm, forgot to put new batteries in my Baton..."
" What are batteries?"
" that doesn't matter Pippin!"
" Be nice Lee, it's not his fault that we're more advanced than he is"
" Guys-"
" shut up Pip" both girls glared at the hobbit before starting to argue with each other. " It's not my fault that I left my spare batteries back at the camp!" Stephanie growled
" You Idiot! If you had your batteries, then Jessica would be safe by now!"
" Guys-" Poor Pippin tried again, with no avail.
" Why don't you give me some batteries, after all, you are the authoress, you can do whatever you feel like"
" I can't!"
" Why ever not?"
" Because I don't have my stinkin' authoress powers until tomorrow!"
" What! Why?"
" Ugh, it's a long story"
" I have time"
" NO YOU DON'T" Pippin snapped at the arguing girls. He turned to Stephanie hissing, "you realize that, at this very moment, Jessica is being tied up with barbed wire." Stephanie looked horrified, " Why didn't you tell me!" She shrieked, grabbing Pippin by the shoulder and shaking him. Pippin looked like he wanted to slap himself and Lee was getting more impatient by the minuet. Lee opened her mouth to say something, but she was cut off as the trio heard a small whimper. They all turned to look at what had made the noise. It was Jessica, being roughly tied to the back of one of the Uruk-Hai, with barbed wire. Pippin, Lee, and Stephanie all glanced at each other before charging into the clearing, trying to free Jessica.
********************************Rewind a few minuets*********************
Jessica had given up all hope of being rescued by her sister, and had decided that if she was going to get out of this mess, she was going to have to do it herself. She froze, hearing hushed whispers, she strained her ears, trying to figure out who was there. After listening for a few moments, she decided that it was her sister after all, and Pippin was there as well, the third voice wasn't so familiar, but it sounded a lot like the authoress' voice. Jessica yelped as the Lead Uruk-hai grabbed her roughly, and started tying her the to back of an Uruk-Hai, tears sprang to her eyes again as she felt the pointed, metal, barbs digging into her flesh, any movement and it would tear her flesh even more. After carefully listening to snippets of the conversation held right behind the bushes to he left, she realized with a feeling of dread, the none of her rescuers had any way of rescuing her. She heard Pippin snap something at Stephanie, and then some more hushed whispers, before her sister, Pippin, and some strange girl who sounded just like the authoress, charged into the clearing, and tried to take down her captors with some large branches... The Uruk-Hai somehow managed to dodge every blow, finished tying Jessica up, before they started running at an incredible pace through the forest. The last thing Jessica heard before she blacked out, was Stephanie calling to her, telling Jessica to have a good ride, and to meet the Fellowship at their next destination. Of course, Jessica knew that she was talking about Lothlorien, and her only concern was: how do I get away from these guys.
*************************************Later*******************************
" So now what?" Lee asked Stephanie and Pippin as they returned from their meeting with the rest of the fellowship. " We will be continuing on our way" Stephanie responded calmly. " How can you be calm?" Pippin cried " your sister was just kidnapped, and, there is now some dog trying to take over Middle Earth!" Stephanie and Lee sighed " it doesn't matter Pip" Stephanie frowned at the hobbit before heading over Merry to help him pack up for the next leg of the trip.
" AHHHHHHHHHHH Spicy, Spicy!" Merry and Pippin screamed as they ran around in circles desperately trying to find some water, or at least something that would soothe the burning in their mouths and lungs. Stephanie and Lee, however were having a great time, watching the hobbits run around and scream. Aragorn glared at the laughing girls " are you aware that their screaming could alert the enemy to our presence?"
" Maybe" the girls snickered again at the hobbits. " What did you do to them anyways?" Gandalf asked the strange girls. This however, only set the girls off again " W-we replaced their Pipe-weed with C-chili pepper" was the best response the girls could come up with in between their laughter. The whole fellowship stepped a couple of steps away from Stephanie and Lee, while Frodo kept giving the girls the evil eye, and muttering something underneath his breath. " What was that?" Stephanie asked the Emo hobbit, " nothing" he glared at her before running to catch up with Gandalf. The day was ended with Stephanie's final words of wisdom " Ducks are like waterproof chickens."
~ No reviews for chapter four... * Sniffle sniffle* I even asked nicely and everything..* Sniff sniff* Anyways. Did you guys likey? I know this chapter took a more serious turn but how was it? I've never written a more serious story before so I'm curious. There, now you guys have another reason to review... * puppy dog eyes* Pwease. :) Tell me, should Jessica live? Ha! Another reason to review! :P C'mon guys, even if it's just a thirty second review. :)
Thankyou to all who favoured this story, or me, and to all who put this story or me on alert! :D I know this chapter took a little bit longer, but Fanfiction decided to be mean, and give me a hard time. :) Plus, my life is really hectic, so I really can't set a date for updating...
Remember to review! :D