Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I do not and I never will own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

Author's Note: Please enjoy my first official Big Time Rush Fan-fiction. It was originally going to be 84. Out Cold of the 100 themes challenge I'm doing for Big Time Rush, but it expanded to something much more than that.

I'm so mean to Logan

Downhill From Here

Chapter 11

Mikkal

His throat burned as he lost the little he had eaten in the last week. Carlos' only life line right now was white, porcelain, and oh-so-very solid. He had his arms around the toilet in the mockery of a hid as he rested his head on the seat, panting heavily.

James rubbed his back soothingly, and a twang of guilt hit the tall teen's heart dead on. James should be comforting Logan, not him...even though comfort was exactly what he needed right now.

Watching Logan thrash around like that, screaming...begging...was a nightmare come to life and ten times worse then any nightmare the guys ever had.

"Mrs. Knight." Dr. Johnson caught her attention after Carlos bolted out of the room with James close behind. "May I speak to you privately?"

She was torn between wanting to know what he wanted and going to her son and daughter. She made a noise at the back of her throat and entered the hallway with him, he closed the room door behind them.

"What is it?" She asked, worry evident in her voice. "Is something wrong?"

Dr. Johnson frowned, not helping the slightest. "With Michael Morgan's record I'm required to perform certain...tests."

Mrs. Knight grabbed the end of her sleeves. That didn't sound...right.

"I performed and rape kit but the results were negative." He caused panic and panic and eased it with one blow. "But I can't rule out any other sexual abuse.

She struggled to breath. Oh God...Logan...

He sent Katie out a few minutes ago, to find the guys and maybe grab some apple juice (she hated orange juice). Kendall found himself alone with a basically comatose Logan. He gentle fiddles with the line dripping from the fluids bag, reading the label on it absent mindedly.

His heart was racing from earlier and he wanted was for Logan to wake up with a smile and leave it at that.

He wasn't sure if he was being selfish for that. Was he only wishing that for himself? So he didn't have to see Logan go through this?

A small groan interrupted his thoughts and his gaze shot down to lock with dazed and empty chocolate brown eyes. He jumped back when he saw Logan was awake, but didn't do anything other than that.

Those eyes traveled around the room, taking everything in. He glanced at Kendall again and furrowed his eyebrows. "Ken...dall?"

Kendall nodded. "Yeah, Logie." Deja Vu hit him from when he first found his friend. "It's Kendall."

He looked around again. "Where's...James...and...Carlos?" There was too much pausing between each word, it made him worry even more.

"They had to leave for a moment," he explained. "Take a small break."

Logan nodded and closed his eyes again, but didn't fall asleep. "Hurts," he mumbled.

That sent Kendall into action, he pressed the call button over and over as he kept his eyes on Logan. If he dared to look away for one moment then Logan was going to disappear once again and there was nothing he could do about it.

Dr. Johnson came in first, his mother not too far behind. "Logan Mitchell?"

Logan looked at him warily, but not scared. "Yes?"

He sighed. "Good, you know your name. What else can you tell me?" He took out his clipboard and a pen to start taking notes. The doctor didn't want to push to far, but he wanted the basics for the detectives before they came in to officially question him.

"Tell you?" He repeated. He looked at his hands and flexed them experimentally, hissing when pain spiked up his fingers. "I... don't know," he finally said. "The last thing I remember is...is telling Carlos that I'm going to be fine...why do I hurt so much?"

When the boys were younger it was just Kendall, Carlos, and James—no Logan. Only when second grade was almost halfway through did a strange, new kid show up with his smarts and his cowboy accent.

He was scared and timid, but the guys didn't let that deter them from talking to him. No one in their class was like that, having spent first grade and kindergarten and pre-school with them. They made everyone talk to them like they were best friends, no matter how much they didn't want to.

Anyway, Logan was forced to sit next to Kendall and he didn't really sit next to him. He moved his chair so he was pressed against the side not touching Kendall's desk, scared beyond belief.

"Hi!" Kendall said happily, practically shaking in excitement. He loved meeting new people.

Logan didn't want to answer, but Kendall just had that pull that made him answer with a whispered, "Hi." He never looked up from the math worksheet given to him when he walked in, already on problem five.

"Whoa!" Carlos exclaimed, leaning around his much larger friend. "How did you do that?"

He finally looked up, showing off his chocolate brown doe eyes. "Do what?" He asked shyly.

The small pointed at his paper. "That math. I don't get it."

He grinned and blushed slightly. "I...I can show you?"

"Really?" Carlos' eyes lit up. He shoved Kendall out of his seat. "You wanna be friends?" He asked.

Logan faltered for a moment before he smiled brightly. "Sure."

"You should smile more," James said suddenly. He leaned over both Kendall and Carlos to peer into the new student's face. "It makes you look better, you have a nice smile."

He backed up a little, startled, but didn't say anything to that comment.

From that moment on, they were best friends.

James and Kendall never got bullied, may be because they were bigger or may be more confident, but Logan and Carlos did.

Well, it was mostly Logan.

While Carlos was only bullied in their younger years because of his larger, rather low-middle class family (they weren't middle class, but they weren't low class either), he eventually became popular like the older two. Logan was bullied because he had no dad (Kendall didn't, but that's because he was TDY all the time), he was really pale, was really smart, was shy, and wasn't every active except for hockey.

It didn't make any sense really. The guys couldn't see anything wrong with him at all. Why did people do stuff like that?

Kendall was always the person Logan went to when he was having bullying problems, only because his trust in the older teen knew no bounds. Maybe it was because Kendall was the first person to talk to him and get him out of his self-induced (or so people though) shell.

So he was always there for him. When Jimmy Nixon created the most hear breaking, angst-ridden situation and made Logan doubt himself even more, he was there. When Jake King almost killed him with a stupid "non-life threatening" prank, it was Kendall who was there to pick up the pieces. When the secret about Logan's dad was finally revealed, he was there through the nightmares.

Kendall was there for everything, he was the leader and the protector.

But how was he suppose to face this with a strong will?

...Why do I hurt so much?...