Heya guys! I'm so sorry for another late update, I went on a retreat this weekend, and school has been absolutely crazy! Just a heads up, I'm going to do things a little bit differently from now on. Instead of me just writing chapters for the ideas of the list, I'm going to do more filler chapters as well, so I'll write a list chapter, and the next one will be a filler. Here's a better way of describing it: Instead of all my chapters being; List, list, list, list, filler, list, list...Ect, you get the idea. It'll be: List, filler, list, filler, list, filler, and so on. I hope you enjoy this shake up! :)
Disclaimer: I think by now you guys have guessed that I don't own LOTR...
Jessica was quite proud of herself, she had somehow convinced the Uruk-Hai that they had great singing voices, and they should start a singing group. Apparently all the whipping and insults they received from Saurman had greatly lowered their self-esteem. Jess smiled, all these big guys really needed was some encouragement, love, decent bread, and ( of course) auto-tuning, before they could make it big. " Are you comfortable back there, Lady of the great north?" asked the Uruk-Hai that was carrying Jessica on his back ( Jessica had named him Bob) . She nodded as the great creature turned his head to look at her before barking something to the other two ( named Dan, and Brock), Dan and Brock barked something back in reply in their native tongue before the three of them, all slowed down and began searching for a spot to rest for the night .
" Can too!"
" Can not!"
"Can too!"
"Can not!"
Pippin sighed, Lee and Stephanie were at it again, the two girls were arguing about whether Lee could bring some "furry pot maker" here just for torture reasons. He could see that the fellowship all looked like they wanted to throttle the strange girls, well, except for Frodo, but he was giving them the evil eye anyways. Pippin sighed, braced himself, and walked over to Lee and Stephanie. " who is this 'furry pot maker' that you girls are talking about?" he asked, in hopes that he could make them forget about whatever they were fighting about... Both girls stopped talking and turned to him
" what do you mean, 'furry pot maker'?" Lee asked, looking as confused as Stephanie did. He sighed " you know, Hairy Potter?" both girls looked at him funny before they burst out laughing. Pippin was lost...again... Stephanie managed to calm down first "Harry Potter is a wizard from another world, whom Lee thinks she can bring here."
" Why would she want to do that?"
" We're bored" Lee grumbled
The whole fellowship backed away in fear of what they might do. Stephanie ignored them and turned back to Lee " anyways, if you can do it, then do it."
" FINE, maybe I will" Lee glared at Steph before pulling a magic wand out of nowhere and shouting " BIPPITY-BOPPITY-BOO!" There was a flash and some smoke, but when the smoke cleared, Lee facepalmed, and Stephanie had an evil smirk on her face.
" AND A ONE, A TWO, A ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR!" Jessica counted in for the Uruk-Hai as they began to sing.
We can't find our duckies,
They just disappeared.
They're getting a mustache,
And probably a beard.
And Paul is a-torturing,
Our duckies all night.
And if we don't get our duckies back,
There's gonna be a fight.
Bring back, Bring back,
Oh, bring back my ducky to me ( to me)
Bring back, bring back,
Oh, bring back my ducky to me.
" Wonderful, wonderful" Jessica clapped as Bob, Brock, and Dan finished practicing their first single " The Rubber Ducky Blues." Brock smiled down at Jess " O Lady of the North, will you teach us some songs from your homeland?
" Jess looked around at the three hopeful singers " alright, but you might not understand some of them" she warned, but it seemed that in their excitement, the Uruk-Hai didn't hear her. Jessica sighed and began searching through her iPod for a good song...
" DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!" Stephanie screeched as she used her Baton to "poof" a Paintball gun, grinning like she belonged in some mental asylum, as she pelted the poor girl that had arrived in the smoke caused by Lee.
Boromir leaned over to Lee " who is this girl, and why is Stephanie trying to kill her?"
" He, he" Lee looked sheepish " I accidentally 'poofed' the wrong character. This girls name is Katniss Everdeen, one of the worst characters ever created." Lee paused and glanced over at Stephanie "Why is Steph trying to kill her? Well, as mentioned before, she is a terrible character, and Stephanie just hates her anyways..." She seemed to just realize something "Come to think of it, Stephanie hates anything that has to do with the Hunger Games, except for Gale..." Boromir shook his head and walked away, leaving Lee to try and figure out how to get rid of this 'Katniss Everdeen' before Stephanie caused some real damage.
Stephanie pouted when Lee 'poofed' Katniss away. " I was going to kill her" she whined, glaring at the other girl.
Lee rolled her eyes " violence is not, I repeat, not, always the answer"the Katniss hater just glared at her" Says you" she muttered before running up to Legolas." Hey blondie!" Stephanie yelled in his ear, the poor elf winced " what?" he sounded tired " I haven't forgotten that you murdered Fred" Legolas just ignored the crazy girl, and walked over to Aragorn.
You, with your words like knives and swords and weapons that you use against me
You have knocked me off my feet again got me feeling like I'm nothing
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard, calling me out when I'm wounded
You, pickin' on the weaker man
Well, you can take me down with just one single blow
But you don't know what you don't know
Someday I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
You, with your switching sides and your walk-by lies and your humiliation
You, have pointed out my flaws again as if I don't already see them
I'll walk with my head down trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you
I just wanna feel okay again
I'll bet you got pushed around, somebody made you cold
But the cycle ends right now 'cause you can't lead me down that road
And you don't know what you don't know
Someday I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
And I can see you years from now in a bar, talking over a football game
With that same big loud opinion but nobody's listening
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing
But all you are is mean
All you are is mean and a liar and pathetic and alone in life
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean
But someday I'll be living in a big old city
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
Someday, I'll be, living in a big old city
(Why you gotta be so mean?)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
(Why you gotta be so mean?)
Someday, I'll be big enough so you can't hit me
(Why you gotta be so mean?)
And all you're ever gonna be is mean
Why you gotta be so mean?
Bob, Brock, and Dan barked in delight as they finished singing Taylor Swift's "Mean" before they sat down with their 'manager' Jessica. The Curly haired girl grinned at the three Uruk-hai " I just had the greatest idea guys!"She jumped up with excitement " you guys could perform that for Saurman!" she cried, looking at the trio hopefully.
Bob, Brock, and Dan discussed among themselves in their native tongue before nodding " We...will do it" Dan rumbled. " Great" Jessica clapped with delight " Let's start practising guys!"
The fellowship had finally reached Lothlorien, although Stephanie jumping on Legolas's back and dubbing him ' her noble steed' as revenge for killing 'Fred' did not make the trip any easier. It had taken twenty minuets or so to convince the elves that, yes, the girls were staying with them, and no, they were not to be attacked ( that last one was more for the safety of the elves, than for the girls). Lady Galadriel did her mind reading trick, and Celeborn has asked about Gandalf, for he much desired to speak with him ( causing the girls to giggle), and finally they had been led to where they would stay the night.
The fellowship was all resting in someway or another. Lee was reading the history of Middle Earth books for the eleventh time, Legolas was resting his sore back, Sam was writing failed attempts at poetry ( although no one had the courage to tell him so, due to their rational fear of frying pan- wielding hobbits), Merry and Pippin were devising ways to get Sam to shut up, Frodo was sulking (again), Aragorn was waking Gimli up ( he fell asleep while Sam was reciting his awful poetry), Gimli was attempting to stay awake ( and failing, that's why we need Aragorn), and Stephanie was doing her best to make Frodo's miserable life even more miserable.
Lee watched in amusement as Frodo offered the one Ring to Galadriel ( she was planning on using this for blackmail), and as Galadriel almost took it. This is why The Lady of Light was always one of her favourite characters, she was offered the one thing that could make her more powerful than anyone else, and yet, she refused. Sure she was tempted by it, but she ultimately refused it.
As Frodo walked off Lee stepped out into the light, narrowing her eyes as Galadriel smiled " you knew I was there the whole time, didn't you" Lee grumbled causing the Elleth to chuckle " Why yes, I did. Would you like to look into the mirror?"
She took a step back nervously " I don't know... What will I-" Lee stopped herself " No, don't answer that, I don't need you whole ' even the wisest cannot tell, for the mirror shows many things, Lecture." Galadriel merely nodded before pouring more water from the mini waterfall behind her, into the mirror/ birdbath. Lee stepped forward slowly to the mirror/birdbath, gripped the sides, and looked in. What she saw horrified her, it frightened her so much, that she stumbled backwards and fell on the ground with a cry of fear.
What Galadriel said next was said through mind-speak " do you see what will happen if you do not keep things on the right path? I know what you saw, and it must never happen. Also," she added " I do not recognize those other people you saw, but from what I have seen, they will only bring destruction to this world, if you see them, you must kill them." Lee nodded before she got up and ran up the stairs, not looking back.
Jessica tried to hide behind Bob as he, Brock, and Dan conversed with the mini army of Uruk-Hai that they had run into on their way to Isengard. Bob turned to her, looking triumphant " They will get what they need from this forest, and we will wait for them on the outskirts, and when they finish we will all go together to Isengard." Jess smiled nervously, still not trusting these other Uruk-Hai completely and nodded. She climbed up on Bob's back, and they took off, speeding through the forest.
Stephanie was concerned, they were leaving to meet Galadriel, receive their gifts, and leave Lothlorien forever, and still no sign of her younger sister. She sighed, if they hadn't run into her already, then she was probably headed somewhere else, she would just have to text Jess later. "Stephanie" Boromir called, bringing the girl out of her thoughts " coming" she called back, jogging to catch up with the group.
Lee really hated the seating arrangements for the boats, She , of all people, was stuck with Aragorn and Frodo ( she didn't mind Aragorn, but Frodo was becoming unbearable) . Stephanie ( lucky duck), was sitting with Blondie, Pippin, and Gimli ( Pippin and Stephanie were both really small, so they were able to fit without being squished), and in the last boat was Boromir, Sam, and Merry. She sighed as she heard laughter, Pippin and Stephanie were having a splashing war with Merry and Sam, why did Steph get to have all the fun, after all, she was the authoress, she should be having fun... Lee entertained herself by going through her list of what everyone got.
Legolas: Lothlorien bow, Gimli: three strands of Galadriel's hair, Aragorn: a mini lecture ( some gift), Merry and Pippin: Daggers, Sam: shiny silver rope, Frodo: Middle Earth version of a flashlight, Boromir: a shiny golden belt with a silver leaf, Stephanie: Maps of Middle Earth, Me: a piccolo thingy. Lee had forgotten what the Piccolo was supposed to do, so she had decided to blow it when Boromir blew the horn of Gondor.
Lee groaned as she looked at the sky, " LOOK OUT GUYS" She shouted, drawing everyone's attention to the sky. With swift, expert movements, Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas swerved the boats to the side and stared in complete surprise as "ADLKJGN39FN002399" fell from the sky and landedin the water right beside them.
" Quick" Aragorn called " we must reach our destination by tomorrow" Legolas and Boromir nodded and began to paddle faster, dodging that random letters and numbers that were falling from the sky.
By the next day, the fellowship had reached the eastern shore, and they had begun to build a campfire. It wasn't long before Gimli began to frighten the hobbits with a detailed description of what their path would be like and Aragorn had to shut him up. He froze however when he noticed that both Frodo and Boromir were missing, and the chase began.
Stephanie and Lee charged through the forest calling Frodo's name, pretending that they didn't know what was going to happen, while keeping an eye out for Jessica.
" Look" Steph hissed, pointing to where Frodo and Aragorn stood, talking...very close to each other. Lee couldn't resist " BROMANCE!" She called before the two girls ran into the clearing only to be surrounded by Uruk-Hai. " Fox dung" Lee growled before pulling out her wand, and Stephanie pulled out her baton.
Lee had just poofed Biggoron's Sword when she noticed Stephanie angrily hitting her baton against her hand " nooooooooooooooooo" she cried, hitting it against her hand even harder. Lee rolled her eyes, chopping the head off one of the creatures " what's wrong?"
" the batteries are dead!"
"AGAIN? Here, I brought some batteries"
" this is my back up baton, it takes triple A, not double A!"
" YOU IDIOT!"
Thankfully, before anyone got hurt ( besides the Uruk-Hai) Blondie, Gimli, and Aragorn showed up and began killing off the monsters. They were only allowed a moment of epicness though, as everyone booked it when they Heard Boromir's Horn of Gondor.
Lee pulled out her Piccolo as she ran, dodging the arrows sent her way okay, I've only got a few minuets so I've got to hurry, Lee took a deep breath, and she blew the wind instrument for a few moments, before a sudden pain erupted in her side, and she collapsed onto the ground.
Thankyou to DragongirlIM, Hero of the mind, and Blackpanther101 for reviewing! I love you guys! ( in a non-creepy way). Review, or I'll send Link after you ( see chapter four)... When you review, tell me what idea on the list you want me to do ( except for 4-7, I'm saving those for sometime in November to Christmas) and tell me what you think the piccolo does.
Happy reading!
~ Foundations of Stone. :D