Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I do not and I never will own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

!IMPORTANT!

Soon I'm going to be gone for nineteen days as I go to Europe for a People to People thing. So, guess what. I won't be updating. This will NOT be the last chapter I post before I go, but this is just a fair warning. I will let you know at each chapter that I'll be leaving...just in case, ya know, you forget.

Author Note: I had pneumonia before, a really bad case, so I know for the most part how it feels and the basic treatment for it. (That's why the steroids line was used last chapter) the only thing is that I'm not sure what everything's called so sorry.

CHEEKYBRUNETTE! Okay people? Read CheekyBrunette!

And my hair stuff smells good, like watermelon candy

Downhill From Here

Chapter 13

Mikkal

Kendall woke up with a start and couldn't figure out why he was awake until he saw blank, glazed brown eyes staring back at him.

"Hi," Logan whispered.

He raised an eyebrow. "Hi," he said back. "How ya feelin'?" Okay, stupid question.

"Do you hate me?" Logan blurted out.

Kendall reeled back, shocked beyond belief. "What? No, of course not! Why would I hate you Logie?" That was a ridiculous question, he could never hate Logan!

He found his bandaged hands very interesting. "Because I can't remember," he mumbled. "And I'm causing you guys so much pain."

He grabbed his shoulder gently and shook him slightly. "Logan, if I was to ever hate you that'd be the stupidest reason to. You can't remember 'cause it's scary, none of us blame you for wanting to forget."

Logan met his eyes, but Kendall felt as if he was really looking at him. "Do you want me to remember?"

Tough question.

"Yes and no," he admitted. "No because there has to be a reason you're forgetting, and that reason can't be good. Yes because I'm tired of not seeing Logan anymore. Right now you're Logie, we want Logan." He hoped his friend understood what he was talking about.

He hugged himself. "I don't know what to do," he whispered.

Kendall leveled him with a solemn gaze, taking in the dark bags under his eyes that seemed to be worse than when they found him. "Have you been getting any sleep?" Fighting off an infection and pneumonia while not sleeping was usually considered a bad idea.

He shook his head, teeth coming out to bite his lower lip. "I get nightmares," he whimpered.

"May be that's you trying to remember," Kendall said softly.

"Logan," James said. "If you want to remember so badly, sleep. If anything happens, you know we'll be right here."

Logan reached out a took the brunette's hand, tangling their fingers together. "Please stay," he sounded so young.

James tightened his hand and sat on the edge of the hospital bed; Carlos laying just a little bit in front of him, arms wrapped around the raven's legs in a protective hold. The youngest teen buried his face against Logan's thigh.

"We're not going anywhere Logie," Carlos assured, muffled.

He sighed and curled against Kendall, letting his friends' presence lull him to a restless sleep.

James' free hand ran through the younger teen's hair, trying to chase away the nightmares that were going to come any minute now. Perhaps seconds.

"Do you think he's going to remember?" He asked their designated leader.

Kendall nodded reluctantly. "He's stubborn. As much as his heart's telling him no his brain's going to force it."

"Won't that make it worse?"

"I hope not."

Something jabbed him in the side and he went flying off the bed. Carlos met the ground with a thud, shoulder already beginning to throb. His eye shot up to see James and Kendall also pushed off the bed, but James' face was white in pain as Logan's grip on his hand got tighter and tighter.

Logan thrashed around, in the midst of another nightmare. But this one was different. There wasn't any visual differences, it was something in the air.

This wasn't just some nightmare.

"Don't touch me!" Logan shrieked. His eyes flickered under his eyelids. "Let me go! Let me go!"

"Logan!" Carlos moved to wake him up but he was held back. "Kendall, what are you doing? We have to...We have to wake him up!"

Kendall shook his head. "I don't think we should," but he sounded unsure.

"Help me!" Oh God. Tears streamed down Logan's cheeks as he pleaded and begged for someone to save him. "Kendall? Kendall please! Help me!"

He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move. Logan was calling for him to save him. How many times had he screamed that before he realized no one was coming? How...how could he still trust Kendall after that?

"Now can we wake him up?" James demanded angrily. He didn't even wait for the blond to nod (which he did half a second late) before he was shaking the traumatized teen's shoulder.

Logan shot up with a harsh, cut off gasp and started crying so hard he was hiccuping more than sobbing. He flinched away when James tried to comfort him and when Kendall tried as well he flinched even worse.

"I called you!" He wailed. "I called you and you never came! Why didn't you come?"

That kicked Kendall right in the stomach. He stumbled back, just barely catching himself on one of the chairs.

"Carlos!" James yelled, panicked. "Call the doctor, he's turning blue!"

And he was. Logan was choking on his tears, lips turning a nasty blue and face ashen gray. His chest heaved with shallow breathes as his liquid filled lungs refused him enough oxygen.

James rubbed his back soothingly, Kendall to frozen to move. "Come on Logan, just breath. Everything's fine. We're here, remember? We said we'd be here and we kept our promise. Come on Logan."

Logan attached himself to James waist, finally letting go of his hand. He gave one deep, shuddering breath before whimpering. "Don't leave me. Please, please don't leave me."

"I won't Logie."

Dr. Johnson ran into the room and tried to move James away, but the teen refused to. He was forced to work around him, replacing Logan's nasal cannula with a full on oxygen mask and running medicated fog through it.

"Logan, I want to you take a deep breath for me, okay?" Dr. Johnson asked.

He nodded slightly and obeyed, talking a deep, halting breath, but making it all the way through.

"Good, good," he said. "I just want you to relax, try not to exert yourself. Okay?"

Logan sobbed lightly and whispered, "Okay."

Dr. Johnson patted James on the shoulder before heading out of the room.

Kendall stared at his three brothers as James and Carlos let Logan leaned on their stable shoulders. How could he do the same as them? How could Logan still trust him?..oh wait, he didn't. He flinched, flinching doesn't usually mean trust.

He couldn't face Logan anymore, not because he was hurt that Logan didn't trust him, but because he wasn't there to protect him. Logan shouldn't trust him if Kendall couldn't protect him this time, sure he protected him a dozen other times, but one time was enough to ruin it.

"K-Kendall?" Logan stuttered.

He looked up to see Logan watching him, looking lost even with James and Carlos surrounding him. Kendall moved forward at the small smile he was given.

"I'm sorry for what I said," Logan murmured.

"Don't be." He hugged him tightly. "Do you remember anything?"

"A little," he admitted. "Can we talk about it later?"

"Of course Logie."

The four of them sat in silence with nothing else to say until Logan was ready to talk...if he ever was.