Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I do not and I never will own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer.

I brought my computer to my grandparents so we're all good on the Eastern front...for a couple more days.

Should I feel horrible for what I'm doing to Logan?

I'm in love with Katie in this chapter, by the way.

And Logan's not blubbery because...well, because. The human switches emotions and feelings very quickly, so this isn't odd. It's normal.

Second to last chapter? Maybe, or the third to the last. Fourth to last? Depends on what else I have planned. Muwahahahahahah.

Downhill From Here

Chapter 15

Mikkal

Katie, surprisingly enough, was the one who found him...even though she wasn't suppose to be out. It's called having a slight nightmare (slight compared to Logan's) and wanted to go to her big brother for comfort, and then hearing the whole story.

It made her sick. Her four brothers (that's right four) were the sweetest people she knew. Who the hell had the right to damage Logan like that?

No one, that's it. No one had that right.

She walked up to him slowly, but not quietly. When Logan first got to the Palm Woods and was walking through the lobby, Tyler popped out of his hiding spot and scared Logan so bad he almost had a panic attack. Whenever the guys were too quiet when walking up to him the apartment Logan went paler than usual and panicked.

"Logan," she said, voice wavering just a little.

He jumped anyway. Logan glanced at her before looking back up at the stars. "Katie," he said almost normally. "Aren't you suppose to be in the apartment?"

She laid down next to him. "Shouldn't you?"

He didn't answer, but she didn't really expect him too. Slowly she curled up next to him, craving the body heat, and he wrapped his arm around her. Out of all of them, Kendall and Logan were the only ones who still treated her like a little kid. It was nice to bring down the walls every now and then.

"That looks like a rabbit," she said, pointing out a cluster of stars. "And that looks like a dollar sign."

Logan laughed quietly. "You always have money on the brain..." His laughter turned into sobs and he buried his head in Katie's shoulder, clinging to her.

She rubbed circles on his back, whispering comforting words that may or may not be working. "Everything's going to be okay. Kendall didn't know what to do. He feels horrible for flinching away."

He shook his head and pressed in deeper into her collar bone. "No," he rasped. "He did exactly what he should do for a tainted person like me." He suddenly shoved her away. "And you shouldn't be around me, I'm corrupting you."

Katie just laughed softly and pulled him back. "I hate to break it to you Loganator, but FOX corrupted me a long time ago." She patted his head. "Why won't you let them help you?" She murmured.

Logan shuddered. "No one can help me," he whispered. "I just keep seeing him, every time I close my eyes he's...he's unzipping his pants and telling me...and telling me to suck." He sobbed. "I didn't want to. I fought back with tooth and nail, but he threatened to kill you guys...and I knew that he would do that...He'd do anything to keep me there and compliant."

Tear stung her eyes and she hugged him tightly. "Logan, you know that's the bravest thing anyone's ever done."

"It doesn't feel like it," he muttered.

"Not only has FOX corrupted me," she said. "But it's taught me that you're never going to feel brave about this. You're always going to feel weak, and pathetic, and dirty, and tainted." He tighten his grip around her. She tapped his forehead and titled his chin so they were eye to eye. "You just have to remember that it's not true. Think of it as a girl suffering from anorexia. She thinks the fattest cow, no, fattest whale on earth when in reality she's so skinny you can count every rib in her chest."

"I'm not following."

"Of course." She rolled her eyes playfully. "When it comes to facts and figures your smart but when it comes to psychology you don't understand," she teased, pleased when that got a smile from him.

"What do you know?" He countered jokingly. "You're only ten."

Katie sombered. "Logan. You're not dirty or tainted. You and Carlos are the purest people I know. The fact that you don't hide from the guys just because they're male, like Michael." He flinched at the name. "Means you still look at the world as mostly good. Tainted people can't do that, dirty people can't either." She looked back at the sky, light blue peaking from behind the tree line. "And despite the fact that you say you're broken, don't deny it I've heard you say it, you're not. If you were broken you'd be surrounded by white walls and getting regular drugs to keep you mentally stable. The fact that you aren't, means you're not pathetic or weak."

Logan was silent for a while before he let out a shuddering breath. "Why did Kendall flinch? He's suppose to be there for me, isn't he?"

"He is, but it's kinda hard to stay perfectly calm when you're best friend admits he can still "taste" that bastard."

"Watch your language." But he didn't use as much force as he normally would, too busy thinking. Eventually he heaved a sigh and stood up. "Come on, we should probably head back. Mama Knight is going to kill both of us.

"Probably only me, you have a good reason."

"So do you."

Logan crouched down and exposed his back invitingly.

She hesitated. "Didn't the doc say you hurt your back, and your shoulder?"

"They're fine now, plus you're light."

Katie climbed onto his back carefully and wrapped her arms around his shoulders loosely.

"Now don't choke me," he joked. "I know how strong you are."

She smirked and pretended to choke him, making all of the noises for it. Of all the things the sicko did to Logan, almost drowning him was the only asphyxiation he tried. Which was good, the fake choking was a common occurrence between the two. Both would hate it if that was taking away from them.

"Logan!"

"Logan?"

"Logie!"

They could hear all three of their brother's voices as they made their way over to the Palm Woods. Flashlights were still on even though the sun was risen enough to see pretty well.

"Over here," Katie called. She slid off his back just in time for Kendall to practically barrel him over in his haste to hug him tightly, proving that he didn't think Logan was tainted at all.

"I'm so sorry Logie," Kendall cried. "I didn't mean to, you just...surprised me. I don't think less of you because I this. You're my brother and my best friend, you're everything to me. To us!"

Logan wrapped his arms around the blond's waist and held him close, burying his head in his chest. "I believe you," he murmured, muffled. "I do." He pushed him away and looked at all three of them. "Before you ask me anything, he didn't do anything else. I was just locked in the closet for the rest of the time...until you found me."

James looked from him to Katie. "What did you guys talk about?"

She shrugged. "The FOX Network...it helps to make a connection with the innocent." She shot a grin at Logan. "To make them calm."

He shook his head. "That thing has corrupted her."

"So, are you fixed?" Carlos asked.

"Not even close," he said. "I've just...come to terms with a few things. That doesn't stop the images or the nightmares. Or the fact I can't stand the dark or strange people." He shuddered and earned another hug.

"Come on," James urged. "Let's head back in." He wrapped his arms around Logan's shoulders and Kendall wrapped his arms around Logan's waist. Both Katie and Carlos walked backwards into the semi-dark lobby, keeping a close eye on him.

Unfortunately none of them saw the shadow in the corner. Guitar Dude strummed a couple strings and sang "Hey," scaring the crap out of all of them.

Nothing was compared to the way Logan reacted. He leaped back, his back slamming into a pillar. His face turned gray and tears poured down his cheeks.

"Dude," Guitar Dude asked. "You okay?"

Logan didn't say a word, his eyes blank, hands shaking. His mouth moved, though, with silent, mute words. His fingers came up and brushed against his lips, a loud sob tearing through them.

"Logan," Kendall whispered. "Are...are you there?" A rather odd question, but one he felt he should ask.

There was no recognition, no spark in his eyes that let them know he was there.