Chapter 5: recitation
It was no surprise to understand the way that the young empath had awakened. The images of her nightmare were enough to drive her to escape them in fear, her body visibly flinching from its natural sleep induced paralysis in the process. Eyes bolted open, pupils wide with alarm. The ferocity of such an emotion snapped any subconsciously gained concentration that had held her body afloat in a healing trance, and resulted in her sudden landing atop the firm mattress of a medical bed.
Simultaneously the form of a green cat shrieked in sudden shock and fear, leaping clear up into the air, hairs on end. He landed on the floor, scampering away from what had startled him on natural instinct.
Raven's body shot straight sitting up, head swerving about in disorientation and confusion. Within an instant she realized that she wasn't in Slade's grasp or within the horrible confines of her father's horrendous visions, but in the serenity of the titan's medical bay. She exhaled a breath she didn't realize she was holding and breathed in deeply again, trying to soothe her rapidly beating heart.
Her first thoughts weren't 'what had happened' but of her prior dream. She couldn't believe what it had entailed, didn't want to admit how horribly bothersome its images were. The revelation was still present, unfortunately. Raven knew what it had been, what it had meant. It was the combination of subconscious fears and realizations mixed with her father's own dirty work. The dark titan had raped Slade's mind, taken from him something that could never be replaced, and by doing so she was no different than He whom had raped her mother.
Raven closed her eyes, breathing deeply, wrapping her arms around herself. It was never meant to go that far. She was falling so far down to his level. It would have been different if He had forced such actions from her, but it was only wishful thinking. Raven had willingly done what she had to Slade. It made her no better than Slade, and no better than Trigon.
A sudden pressure radiated on a spot near her legs, and Raven opened her eyes to see the return of the green cat. He sat on the bed's edge and slowly his form returned to that of the familiar Beast Boy. On his face was a smile of relief, though visibly her waking had left his nerves jumpier than usual. "Hey Rae, glad to see you're up."
Raven looked at him hollowly, before turning her gaze away from him and into her lap. Beast Boy's words still rang sharply in her ear. Her nightmare had been so real, that it was hard to even face the one whom claimed that she was evil. Looking at him would only encourage her emotions to get out of hand. Raven needed to focus. She directed her attention to the fibers of the clothing she was in, instead of thinking of him.
She wasn't in her uniform. No, that had been replaced with a medical gown and judging by just the slight flexing of her back, her back and sides were heavily bandaged. Could she blame Cyborg for not wanting to put skin tight clothing back on her to agitate the wounds? No, she supposed she couldn't. Focusing on the material before her rather than Beast Boy, Raven realized the pattern of green shed cat hair upon her. Clearly Beast Boy had been sleeping on her stomach when she'd woken.
"Hey, um, are you…alright," Beast Boy was surprisingly serious, as he leaned in nearer to her.
"I'm fine." Raven swallowed, looking into her lap didn't help the matter of forgetting her vision.
Beast Boy removed his glove. Without hesitation he began to part strands of hair matted to her face from her cold, fevered sweat. Then, he planted his green palm on the surface of her forehead and waited, concentrating.
The dark magus flinched at first, initially surprised that he would touch her. She then reminded herself that it had only been a dream, that this Beast Boy hadn't cruelly accused her of such measures. With that thought in mind, Raven basked in the warmth of that hand, finding the heat soothing and a relief to how sick she felt. There was no telling if she'd ever be allowed to feel such warmth again. She closed her eyes, and leaned into his hand, as if she could absorb that heat. Disappointment met her when he removed out of the touch he initiated.
"Your fever broke," he sounded relieved, "Looks like I ought to sleep with you more often."
A moment's flicker of unadulterated actions flashed briefly through her mind. On reflex Raven turned her head from him once more, tightening the self induced hug. This was enough of a warning bell for the green titan that if Raven wasn't even going to slap him for such crude remark, that something was very terribly wrong. He reached a hand behind her and pulled her up close to him in a hug of his own, trying to fight the urge to recoil at hugging someone sick and sweating.
The half demon buried her face into his chest, soaking in that warmth that made feeling sick that much bearable. Raven dared not question the reasoning behind the embrace, knowing that all she wanted was to feel that warmth. Empathically she drank on that unconditional love that associated itself with Beast Boy to quench the returning shame that she felt in her actions. Raven would never admit it, but Beast Boy reminded her so much of a dog in the best of ways. Dogs were creatures that, although constantly sought out for their own acceptance, tended to love unconditionally in a form of family loyalty. Yes, Raven wanted that type of comfort that moment.
"Hey, it's all right," Beast Boy murmured, though his voice was uncertain. He wasn't used to being the one to offer words of encouragement, and to Raven no less. She was always the one in the team whom showed the strongest of walls and resilience. Raven seemed to have perfected the art of keeping to herself without even so much as offering a peep hole into her. There had been a slight weakening of that barrier after Malchior which he had witnessed, that she'd let him witness. It had been a tiny moment where he had felt privileged, and now, now it seemed again that Raven had needed to lean on something else while she rebuilt that barrier. Beast Boy was privileged indeed.
Words weren't exchanged between the two. Beast Boy would not force anything out of Raven unlike he suspected a certain masked titan would. He also knew that Raven would be unwilling to give him any such answer if he asked, and questioning now would only upset her more he suspected. All that seemed to matter that moment was that Raven had been hurt in some manor and that she needed this. Beast Boy wouldn't push it farther than that.
Minutes passed until Raven pulled from his embrace, her face her usual cool blank slate. Flatly she gave him. "Thank you."
Beast Boy's smile returned. "You sure you good? There's plenty enough here for a second hug?"
"I think I'll pass." Oh how good it was to hear Raven's deadpan quips.
"Then, if you're good, I'm gonna go get Cyborg and Robin.," he began to scoot off the end of the mattress, oblivious to Raven's minor flinch.
"Beast Boy, if you so much as think of uttering a single word of this, I will send you into another dimension.," she threatened. Oh no, Raven would have none of the others knowing she needed a hug. She had an image to protect, more than ever lately.
"Right, dimension," he looked slightly panicked, "My lips are sealed! Oh, and don't get kidnapped or anything while I'm gone, Robin would totally kill me."
Raven raised an eyebrow out of amusement. "That's a tempting spectacle."
Beast Boy crinkled his nose and stuck out his tongue before scampering out in the form of a cheetah. It appeared he really didn't want her to be left alone for too long. Robin had unsurprisingly asked for a full watch upon Raven three days ago when he had discovered her within Slade's clutches. For the most part, everyone had been vigilante in doing as such, even Beast Boy. Despite Robin's nature to keep all of them in the dark on what was happening, both Beast Boy and Starfire weren't naive enough not to make their own conclusions of prior events. These conclusions were never voiced out loud, and everyone's silent thoughts drove them to keep their gothic titan safe. It was a nice thought that would probably drive Raven absolutely nuts within the next coming days.
Minutes later Cyborg entered the room with Robin following. Both looked remarkable tense, but that tension seemed to ease as their eyes met Raven's for the first time in days. Raven's cool façade never faltered, much to her relief. Cyborg's lips curled up into a big grin. "Hey, how's our little lady?"
"Sick of being sick," she voiced, running a hand through wet hair. For a fever that had been broken, Raven still felt surprisingly terrible. Though, Raven would much rather be sick with fever than within the horror of her dream.
"We've had you on antibiotics the past couple of days. The wound on your back was pretty infected, we figured though if you could heal your back up on your own, the fever would go down in time.," Cyborg reasoned with her, finally reaching her bedside. "How is your back? Bandages aren't too tight for your ribs?"
Raven paused in her answer. Cyborg had sounded so concerned, so relieved she was all right. No, Cyborg couldn't have been like then she'd formerly perceived. At least, she hoped he wouldn't. Still, he was unremarkably happy, she could feel it.
"No," she began slowly, "I'm just stiff and a little sore. Everything's been reduced to minimal bruising."
Cyborg grinned, placing a mechanical hand on her head and roughing her lavender locks up. Now she looked more like the bed ridden patient she'd been the past few days. Raven didn't hesitate in giving him an annoyed younger sibling look.
Slowly, she turned her head to Robin, whom had stayed back a distance, and all she could think about was what Slade had formerly done to him. She knew it's what drove him, drove him that extra length to stop him from doing it to others, from doing it to her. Raven saw this trait endearing in some way, and was honestly thankful he tried so hard to force her to give in, to let him handle Slade. Raven easily felt remorse and that shame rising. Instantaneously Raven stamped out those rising feelings. Raven couldn't afford it.
When Robin felt her starring at him, he looked up and walked over. Pulling up a seat, he asked, "What happened?"
It seemed a popular topic starter with her and Robin as of late, and she was tiring of it. The exasperation on her voice was apparent when she spoke to him, "What do you think happened?"
Robin was crudely honest. "That Slade abducted you last night. He raped you, and followed you back to the Tower to try it again."
"Robin." Cyborg's voice was stern and protective, displaying the masked titan had went over the line. Robin said nothing in response.
Raven exhaled, closing her eyes and breathing deep. Quite the opposite, Boy Blunder, she mused silently to herself, quite the opposite in deed.
"Well," Robin prompted.
"If you believe that's what happened, then that happened. Only the individual can decide the truth for one's self.," she stated, neither confirming or denying his statement. She opened her eyes and looked back towards Robin with calm and collected face.
The masked titan remained silent, her words sinking into his brain. Raven had just told him it was possibly what happened, but then she didn't. It wasn't an answer he couldn't exactly argue with, but it didn't give him much either. That was alright though, as of late he'd butted heads with the dark empath more than enough in the past few weeks. If what he'd stated were true, now wasn't the exact time to push too much from her.
Instead, he offered up what little information he could gather, hopefully in a peace treaty between their recent arguing. If he were lucky, Raven may willingly tell him one or two things too.
He leaned further towards her figure, chin resting on hands, elbows resting on legs. "Whether Slade had or not, we've been able to figure out why he's trying."
Raven raised a bemused eye brow towards the masked titan. She all ready knew why Slade was attempting to ravish her for lack of better words. Having feared most physical contact especially the kind that had been issued to cause her mother such pain as to having conceived her, the very thought if it happening to herself was enough to frighten her. If it ever did happen, Raven was certain it would achieve what Slade and her father wanted; a broken will and submission to his whim. Whatever Robin thought he knew would certainly be far from that explanation.
Humor me, Boy Wonder. "All right, Robin, enlighten me with your wisdom.," Raven sarcastically replied.
"We think Slade somehow survived and received his new powers from a satanic cult, the Blood Clan, in exchange that he makes you pregnant." Robin showed no joke in his voice.
Raven stared at him a moment, literally stunned to hear the explanation. She knew her father's cult would eventually show up somewhere. It was inevitable. Knowing and owning a copy of their bible, for the sake of having reference, Raven was well aware of an additional prophecy that included her. Call it a second Armageddon, if you will, a prophecy dictating that she wed Brother Blood and bring into the world a child that would bring a thousand years of peace, or as good as peace got under Trigon's rule.
"Your father giving me consent, sharing each other our lives, the bond growing between both a woman and a man…I'd say we're almost married."
Her skin palled at the thought, the only outward sign that the information had affected her. Had Trigon and the Blood Clan deem Slade as Brother Blood? It…it seamed likely. It was quite possible that the Brother Blood they knew had in fact been with legions with the Blood Clan. It had been her initial thoughts upon hearing of his mystic powers, a trait that went with the family lineage. The fact he had taken over the HIVE made her wonder if perhaps he was trying to single her out thinking she'd be with them. Her fears had been put to rest knowing he'd transformed himself into a machine similar to Cyborg, it meant there was no way he could try to fulfill that prophecy with her.
It was possible, though, that he was the Brother Blood of Blood Clan lineage, and from doing what he had, forced the Blood Clan to find a replacement. Maybe, just maybe they'd put that responsibility on Slade as well. Besides this revelation, that goal was secondary to breaking her will. It still appalled her.
Judging by the feelings of surprise and suspicion on Robin's part, Raven determined Robin had realized the news was something to her.
"I'll let you know if and when that happens," she muttered back, her voice just slightly shaky. She strung a hand through her stringy oily locks, bringing a small wave of air a minor relief to her face.
Robin stood from his chair. "I promised Star and Beast Boy pizza…" He looked hesitant to leave, but for only a moment. Without so much as mentioning anything more of Slade or even interrogating the dark magus about Trigon, he exited the room.
Raven's eyes narrowed in confusion, watching the door he'd exited from. Here was Robin, not forcefully interrogating her, and then leaving. For pizza. Not holing himself up and researching Slade. Leaving for pizza. An eyebrow rose quizzically. "Okay…did something happen?"
Cyborg let a low bemused chuckle. He moved around to the other side of the bed and took up the chair Robin previously sat in. "Starfire and BB literally busted down his door and dragged him from his research."
"I'm taking they threatened physical harm if he didn't agree to take a break," Raven quipped.
"Exactly, it was actually kinda funny. I'm sure security cameras got it on tape if you want a good laugh.," Cyborg offered.
"Hn.," she smirked, "And you're not going with them why?"
Cyborg smiled at that question. "We decided that one of us should stay behind to keep an eye on ya. What with Slade doing what he's trying, we all figured it best."
"Oh.," her face remained somewhat blank, though inside she felt some what irritated. If Robin thought a round-the-clock watch on her was going to stop anything he certainly was wrong. It would probably only succeed in aggravating her to an extreme.
A silence drifted in the air, weighing with a surprising lightness to Cyborg's presence. For a while, they just sat in the comfort to each other's breathing. It was a nice, rhythmical, natural sound, one in which Raven's drifted in a moment of contemplation and meditation.
When it seemed she had put any stray emotions to rest, Raven turned fully to Cyborg. Out of response, Cyborg turned entirely to her, an unasked question on his face. She gazed a moment into his eyes, before averting them to her legs. Softly and anxiously, she asked, "Did you see what happened with Slade? Through the security cameras?"
Cyborg frowned slightly. "No, not really. We tried though. Records showed when you got back to the tower, you cleaned up, made tea. You dozed off for a few minutes, and Slade cruised into the room. Shortly after something smacked the camera, something incased in your powers. Turned out to be a game controller."
"Oh…," she replied, a mixed look of relief and regret on her features. Relief that they hadn't seen her at her weakest, regret that they couldn't capture any information from it on their own.
"Rae?" Purple eyes moved to focus upon the chocolate skinned titan.
"Why," he stated in a rather baffled tone.
"Why…," Raven restated solemnly.
"I know something's eating away at you, now don't try to deny it, there's no point.," he halted Raven before she could argue that she was fine. "You take everything and lock it up inside, and it's hurting you. Seeing you fall apart like this is killing us just as much…I just…why do you do it?"
Her eyes lingered on his a moment more before she turned herself from him. "Please don't ask me that."
Cyborg bent over and placed his hands again on her shoulders. Gently he turned her back around to face him. His hands guided her face to his when she looked away. "Please Rae, I'm not asking you what happened with Slade, and I'm not going to force you to answer, and I'm even not going to force you to stop whatever actions you're taking. I just want to know why?"
"There's a saying that ignorance is bliss.," she murmured, trying her best to remain calm with her head in his hands.
"Then what's so important that you have to suffer silently for? Who are you trying to guard this way?" Cyborg maintained his gaze on the other, and for a moment he saw vulnerability in the smaller one's eyes.
Raven closed her eyes, breathing deeply. She shut out Cyborg's face and the strong brotherly emotions emitting from him. She needed stability. She needed to meditate.
"Please," Cyborg prompted her.
There was a deep shaky intake before meekly she uttered out, "You guys. You guys are that important."
Silence again filled the air, heavier than the earlier bout. Slowly Cyborg released Raven from his grip and stood up. "Deep down, you're a big softy.," his voice sounded somewhat relieved, a little brighter, "That's why you're so adorable." This was preceded by another round of Cyborg roughing up the sick titan's hair.
"I am not adorable.," Raven snorted, and tenseness left over from the conversation melting away.
Cyborg grinned, heading towards the door. "Well, since you're up I'm gonna get you on something semi solid. Mom always said nothing cured a cold better than a big bowl of chicken noodle soup." He grinned, his expression vacant a moment in revere, before he began heading towards the door. "I'll get you a cup of tea too."
"Cyborg?" He stopped and turned around. "Yeah?"
"Could you maybe put some honey and cream in my tea if we have any?" she looked somewhat curious.
Cyborg's eyebrows rose in a quizzical manor. "Uh sure…but you normally take it black, why the change?"
She looked at him blankly before stating with unusual foreboding in her voice, "Slade…changes people."
Cyborg stood somewhat dumbfounded by this statement. Sure he knew the statement to be true; Robin was living example of this. Tea, however? Raven received a quizzical look from him in return to her comment before leaving the room entirely.
Raven's lips pulled down into a grimace. The accounts of her dream and her last two encounters with Slade leapt freshly into the forefront of her mind. Slowly she looked down towards the palms of her hands. The heat of the inscriptions in her palms was an ever reminder her time was growing even shorter, though they dare not climb to the surface of her skin. The demon exhaled, settling back into the comfort of her pillow.
"Slade changed me."
AN: Short chapter this time. To be honest, I felt that the feeling given in this chapter stood apart from the last, and it doesn't fit well within the next chapter either. So for all purposes, if this fic was separated into parts, you could say this is the end of part one because it bridges chapter 4 to chapter 6. I do warn you, Chapter 6 contains the events of the episode Prophecy. For the most part, this includes actions and dialogue repeated from the actual episode. But that doesn't mean you should skip reading that chapter entirely! In addition to the episode, I've inserted scenes and more dialogue that helps to smoothly transition the episode within this fic.
With that being said, most of you may notice my lack for writing places involving Starfire or Beast Boy. The reason being is that too many times I tend to slip into writing scenes with Raven/BB fluff, and dirty scenes playing off of Starfire's naivety with Raven… To avoid that and to keep this as Raven/Slade as possible both of their roles will be lessened to a degree.
I've also hit an area in writing this fic where I am uncertain how to proceed. I know where this fic is heading, just how to reach that area at the moment. I've been trying to avoid writing pointless filler scenes within the fic, and right now, I'm stuck between writing filler fluff or to write small paragraphs recounting areas of fluff and moving on over it. The problem is, which ever I decide to use, I wouldn't know what sort of fluff could evolve from Raven and Slade… If you have and ideas or opinions regarding the matter, put it in your reviews. Thanks loads, all you guys who review rock.