Disclaimer: I'd like to point out that I do not and I never will own Big Time Rush, Kendall Schmidt, Logan Henderson, Carlos Pena, Jr., and James Maslow. I do own, however, Catalina "Cat" Aragon, Michael and Andres, and Junior Detective Keller. I semi-own Detective Spencer. I own Alice Tudor...sort of.

Alice Tudor, in name and appearance only, was my delegation manager. She was exactly one word: AMAZING! We all miss her.

And thank you CheekyBrunnette for summing up the last chapter with a perfect word "...INTENSE!"

I'm home! Man, that trip was amazing! But if I never see another dish of chicken curry again it'll be too soon. And if anyone see's British spellings let me know, sorry about it.

Anyone else love James' dance in the music video for "If I Ruled the World"? I know I did! I love those guys!

Downhill From Here

Chapter 16

Mikkal

Silence filled the lobby, and a panic so stifling, so thick he could taste it on his tongue. Kendall's hand trembled as it hover an inch from Logan's too pale face. His brother was right in front of him...physically. Mentally...mentally he was hundreds of miles away.

"Logan, please," Carlos begged him to come back, even if he wasn't sure Logan could hear him. "Don't leave us."

He just stared straight ahead, fear slowly growing in his eyes. Before it was just a spark of fear before he disappeared, now it was building and more powerful. Not only was Logan gone, but he was getting even further away before their very eyes.

"It's us," James tried. "It's James, Kendall, Carlos, and Katie. It was only Guitar Dude, he didn't mean to scare you. Please. Michael's dead, he's never going to touch you, hurt you again."

Everything was on repeat. Every time there was a light of hope in Logan something happened to make the light be smothered. They just wanted it to stop, they wanted their brother back. They wanted to stop having to bring him from the darkness, they wanted Logan to be Logan again.

And they wanted all of that to happen soon. If not for their sake then for Logan's. If this kept happening then sooner or later they may not be able to bring him back.

Their greatest fear was that this was that time.

Katie tried her hardest not to cry, but a few tears still leaked out. She wiped them away forcefully, she knew enough about life and enough about Logan to know that crying wasn't going to solve anything.

"Logan," she said quietly. She thought, maybe, hearing a female voice would be better than hearing so many male voices that could potentially morph to sounding like Michael's. "You're in the Palm Woods lobby with Kendall, James, Carlos, Guitar Dude, and me, Katie. It's 4:25 in the morning. You were going to make cookies with me tomorrow, well today actually, as a surprise for everyone else. Remember? We talked about it yesterday morning."

A shuddering breath, a blink, and the fear dimming was her only answer, but that was good enough.

Kendall forced himself to step back and let his little sister take control of the situation. Though he didn't like either of those things. His sister having to take control and calling this a "situation". Has it come to point were Logan was nothing more than a situation that needed to be resolved quickly and cleanly?

The mere thought made him sick to his stomach. He shook his head, ridding it before he actually did puke. Logan was his friend, he was more than a situation, he was a person who needed to be helped.

And they were going to help him.

Katie sat next to the traumatised teen, sides barely brushing together. "Remember earlier?" She rambled. "When we were looking at the stars and one of the them looked like a dollar sign, you said I always have money on the mind? You wanna know what's on my mind now?" She didn't get an answer...but she wasn't really expecting one.

Her barrier against the tears crumbled, and she began to cry. She took her brother's hand slowly, gently, and squeezed it. "On my mind is my brother, the only person in the world who makes school fun. Who lets me steal from his plate like he doesn't see me when I know he does. Who tells awesome stories about Carlos getting not-seriously hurt, who adds the blood and the pain in them even when most people see me as a little girl who couldn't handle that."

Logan blinked again, his grip tightening around Katie's fingers, his eyes shifting around like he was trying to see them but couldn't.

"We want you back bro," was all Carlos said.

Suddenly Logan launched himself into Kendall's chest, breathing heavily and trembling so hard even the blond was shaking from the force.

"I-I n-need h-help," he stuttered out, tears running down his cheeks. "I k-keep seeing h-him e-everywhere, i-in e-everyone" Logan squeezed his eyes shut. "I d-don't w-want to b-be s-scared a-anymore."

We don't want you to be scared anymore either.

Kendall was weak and pathetic, it all boiled down to not being able to help his friend when he needed it the most...he should be able to help Logan, he had to be able to. What kind of brother...leader was he if he couldn't even comfort him properly?

"Do you still wanna make cookies?" Katie asked weakly.

Logan smiled slightly, appreciating her attempts to make things more normal and less tense. "Of course I do," he managed to say without stuttering.

Kendall and James went to either side of him and helped him up, supporting more of his weight than they wanted. Katie shooed Guitar Dude away while Carlos ran ahead to press the elevator call button.

Once upstairs and once Logan was tucked in (courtesy of Mrs. Knight) they reconvened in the living room, cups of coffee (hot chocolate for Carlos and Katie) in hand.

The mama sighed. "Well, I figured this would happen," she said solemnly. "I asked Detective Spencer who she recommended and she gave me the name Alice Tudor, she's apparently the best child psychologist in the business and she's work with the department millions of times for child...victims."

James flinched at the word victim, he was never going to get use to that...But he had to, Logan was always going to be labeled a victim. Maybe, perhaps, later on as a survivor.

"Will Logan talk to her?" Katie asked.

Kendall rubbed his eyes. "He said he needed help. I think he will."

Mrs. Knight checked the time. "I can give her a call in a few hours. Right now, though, everyone needs to get some much needed sleep."

The boys nodded their agreement before quietly heading to Kendall's and Logan's room. Kendall took his bed while James and Carlos moved their sleeping bags so they were closer to Logan's bed instead of the blond's.

There was a slight knock at the door and Katie peeked her head in. "Can I...stay in here?" She asked.

Kendall nodded and let her snuggle up next to him, both keeping their eyes on the sleeping Logan.

"He's going to be okay, right?"

"Of course," Kendall stated firmly. Half-believing himself. "He's going to be perfectly fine."