A/N- Hey guys, I am ever so sorry for the late update! BUT…I bought myself a new computer and now I'll be able to update all my stories whenever I like. :D Thanks for all the alerts/reviews! Keep them coming once you finish reading this... Xx
Chapter 14
It had been a week since Brittany spouted those words to her in the bathroom. Words Santana didn't think were ever possible to leave her lover's mouth.
We're finished. I don't love you. I lied.
How could it be possible? Brittany was the one who said that she wouldn't let anything or anyone get in the way of their relationship. She was the one who went on about dreams and reality. Maybe Finn was right, maybe Brittany only wanted her for the sake of it. It was all becoming a bit too much for Santana. All the lingering looks between them in the hallways, the desperate plea on her face for Brittany to explain what exactly was going on.
Rachel and Quinn were also struggling with their own relationship. Brittany had no idea about their predicament; it maybe had something to do with them putting on an act whenever they met up with Brittany in the lunch hall. And things did not change when the start of a brand new week came rolling in.
"Miss Lopez…a word in my office please." Sue announced as she interrupted the class half way through the lesson. Santana nervously wondered if someone had seen Brittany with her in the bathroom last week. The thought did not settle well within her, it terrified her.
"Could this not wait until my class finished?" Santana asked, taking a seat inside the principal's office. Sue also took a seat and slowly retracted her glasses.
"You and Brittany…" Santana felt her insides doing a 360 turn. "How are you coping?" The Latina had to double check, surely she was hearing things.
"Me and Brittany…Uh, why do you ask?" Santana hesitantly prodded. Sue was probably trying a sneaky one on her, so she could go back and report to Mrs Pierce. Just thinking about Brittany's mother made her nauseous.
"It's been a week and I'm sure you haven't bumped into her yet, does that not affect you?" Sue was blunt and direct; Santana hated being put on the spot. And anyway, sucks for her since Santana did see Brittany last week, even if it was a heart-breaking moment.
"She's in the past Sue, nothing to worry about." Santana plastered a fake smile and Sue seemed to buy the fake cheeriness in her voice.
"That's just fantastic, now get to class and I'm glad to see Brittany hasn't completely broken you, yet…" Sue put her glasses back on and resumed working with her paperwork. Santana frowned at her comment. What did she mean by that? There's no way Santana was going to let Brittany break her down. She'd get her back somehow, she was sure of it.
…X…
"I wish you'd stop hurting me already." Quinn muttered, who was sat on the opposite end of the table in the cafeteria. They were waiting for Brittany to show up, before tucking into their lunch. Rachel sighed heavily and kept her gaze on anywhere but Quinn.
"Hey guys, budge up a little." Mercedes said with Tina and Brittany behind her. The five sat around the table quietly and well, the tension was awkward. Mercedes and Tina began chatting away and Brittany kept her sight on the doors praying to catch a glimpse of Santana.
"Seriously, what is up with the atmosphere today?" Mercedes finally asked, breaking her conversation with Tina and staring at the three eerily quiet girls.
"What can I say Merc, some people…" Quinn shot Rachel a cold look, one with anger written all over it. "Like to hold on to stupid things that happened a million years ago." Brittany was now alert to the discussion. She had no idea Quinn and Rachel were on bad terms; guess not being in their classes didn't help the situation either.
Rachel scoffed with a sarcastic laugh, not one to miss a beat. "Stupid things…kissing Brittany is hardly stupid, it's probably the worst thing that someone could ever do to me actually."
Brittany widened her eyes. Such was her own heart-break that the last thing she needed was to be the reason behind her best friend's split. "I'm sorry, I should have said." The blonde mumbled under her breath, keeping her gaze soft at the girls.
Rachel instantly put her hand forward and reassured the girl. "Britt, this isn't your fault, don't be sad, okay?" Quinn hardened visibly at the touch.
"I'm suffering here as well you know, there were two lips that night. So why does Brittany get all the sympathy?" She hissed, struggling to contain the hurt from her tone of voice.
Not comfortable with where the situation was headed, Brittany abruptly left the table and not even the calls of 'Britt come back' from Rachel had stopped her.
"Oh great Quinn, real smart of you." The brunette scolded Quinn, who in turn couldn't help but let a few tears roll out and she too left the table. It wasn't fair how Rachel seemed to only be on Brittany's side, she needed to be cared for and loved too.
…X…
Brittany scanned her surroundings one last time before stepping into Miss Lopez's class. She knew the teacher would still be having her lunch with the rest of her colleagues, so she used this time to just sit in the room and re-live some of her most recent, amazing memories.
And of course they were all to do with Santana. Any memory she had of her teacher always gave her heart a full swirl, why did things have to be so complicated? Why couldn't they be together and be like any normal couple? So what if one was student, the other a teacher? More terrible things were happening in the world, right? Brittany was so absorbed in her thoughts that she failed to hear the door creak open.
Santana stood there for at least a good second, mouth slightly open. What was Brittany doing here? She wanted to say so much and she wanted answers. But she just couldn't lash out at the girl, obviously she had her reasons and being gentle with her was a must. "Brittany…"
Upon hearing her name being said in just a mere whisper, Brittany gulped and felt her breathing rapidly increase. She did not want another altercation, she wasn't strong enough. This time, she wouldn't be able to lie to Santana. She'd tell her the truth. That she still loved her.
"Sorry…" Brittany said for the second time today, apologizing did not bode well with her. "I was looking for something." She glanced once at Santana and then rushed to get out of the classroom. Once again though, just like last week, Santana grabbed her by the elbow.
"I know you love me, don't walk away." Santana croaked, slowly turning the blonde so they could be face to face. Her hands went to Brittany's waist. "I told you once I'll be damned to ever let you go, I meant it." She stated, this time with a more confident and stern voice. Brittany pumped her chest with some much needing breathing, the close proximity was too much to handle right now.
"N-no we can't…" Brittany whispered. "Please, I can't." Santana ignored the pleas, she could see the blonde's eyes glistening with a genuine sparkle, which was enough evidence that Brittany still loved her.
"We can, this is what we both want." Santana spoke. She stared directly into them captivating eyes and slowly, ever so slowly connected her lips with Brittany. She opened her mouth as an invitation for some tongue, to which Brittany gladly offered. She held her tight, just glad to be in Santana's arms again. But before she knew it, her panic attacks were back in full force.
"I, this is, no…I have to get out of here." Brittany stuttered, breaking the kiss and nodding her head sideways. Santana tried to calm her down, things were just about to get better for them.
"Brittany, listen to me…" Santana grabbed one of her hands and placed both of theirs above her chest; heart so to speak. "I always said things wouldn't work out. Remember when I broke up with you, because I was wary of how your mum would react?" The blonde nodded. "But you never gave up, you believed in us, in our love."
A drop or two of tiny tears fell down her face, Brittany knew she was going to crack any minute now. Just the touch of Santana's breath, or the way their hands were clasped together hovering over Santana's chest; it all felt gut wrenching. She wanted all of Santana, but she couldn't go behind her mother's back again.
"I don't…" Brittany stammered, her sobbing slightly erratic now. "I don't l-love you, I just wanted to…" She stopped and stared hard at Santana through her puddle of tears. If she went ahead with this massive lie, surely there'd be no going back. But if she never, then Santana would never let her go. "I just wanted to see what Rachel and Quinn felt when they went down on you."
Santana released Brittany's hand and took a few steps back, increasing the gap between them. "You…No, you're lying, you don't mean that." Her gaze hardened and she searched Brittany's face, to see if there was any truth behind her comments.
"I never wanted you." Brittany could feel her heart rate increase but she had no choice and had to feed her with lies. "It was all an act, I'm sorry for doing this but you deserve the truth."
"The truth…?" Santana exclaimed. She chuckled bitterly and unclasped the bracelet from her wrist. "You're a fucking liar, a scared little girl." She threw the piece of jewellery to the floor and marched forward to her desk. Tears were streaming freely from Brittany's face. She didn't know what hurt more. Santana tossing the bracelet away like it meant nothing or the abusive word that left her teacher's mouth. This was getting out of hand and every part of her was yearning for Santana to calm down, to understand her.
"Please, don't be angry, I never wanted th-"
"I was doing fine until you showed up. I had no problems with my students going down on me, at least I was satisfied." Santana said in a sort of calm voice. She had her back to Brittany and was silently glad that she couldn't see the girl crying, even though she could hear her. "Then you came along and I thought you were something special, someone who was more than just a quickie in the storage room."
Santana turned around. She wasn't about to let her own tears fall down, even if they were threatening to come out. She looked at Brittany and frowned. "You took me for a fool, made me believe in love, our love."
Brittany stepped forward but Santana motioned with a hand to not come any further. "Just leave Brittany. You don't love me, I get it. You never wanted me, I get it." Santana walked to the door, opening it for Brittany to leave. "There's nothing left here for you anymore, just go."
Brittany wiped the tears from her face and kept her head down. She took tiny steps and before exiting the class, she placed a hand on Santana's shoulder. "It wasn't supposed to end like this." She gently whispered and left without another word.
…X…
Santana struggled for the rest of the week. She hadn't seen Brittany since that day and the more she thought about her, the more it angered her. How could she have been so stupid to believe that Brittany was in love with her? The bracelet, staying late after classes, the hugs, kisses; it was all one big act. She contemplated on whether Brittany was lying because her mother told her to do so. But yesterday, Rachel had told Santana that Brittany was back with Lucy and that whatever relationship they had was a big fat joke.
It was Friday afternoon and Santana was sat on her desk. She dropped her pen down and glanced up at her students. They were all doing their own thing and not one was doing what Santana had asked of them. Well, that was until she spot someone at the back, head dropped down and working on the task she set. The student, who's name was Jessie, Santana was sure to keep behind once everyone left.
"We need to talk." Rachel turned to Quinn from her seat. "About Britt's birthday next week." Every year for Brittany's birthday, the girls would plan something that normally meant partying hard, which would then ultimately cause their drunkenness and lead to very hot sex.
Quinn scoffed. "Now you wanna talk, can't fix our relationship but can worry about Britt's birthday." In Quinn's eyes, she had every right to be like this. She couldn't understand why Rachel was so easy on Brittany, but not her.
"It's her 18th, I want to do something extra extra special, because of everything she's had to go through." Rachel calmly spoke. Truthfully, she hated how far apart Quinn and her had become but she was struggling to forgive her. Maybe it was the fact that Quinn didn't share a kiss with just anyone. It was Brittany, the girl she used to have strong feelings for.
"Okay fine, we'll ask the others over the weekend or something." Quinn said in a no-nonsense voice and left the classroom. Other students were also beginning to leave and it was then that Santana had called her over.
"Jessie, come here a second." Santana gently called out, stopping the girl from leaving. Once everyone had departed, she told her to close the door and then make her way forward.
Brittany said goodbye to a couple girls and walked down the hallway. Her phone vibrated and she saw a text from her mum, telling her that she had arrived; waiting outside for her. Brittany couldn't believe her mother sometimes. She honestly thought she wouldn't be collected by her mum every day; it was becoming a little annoying now. Not that she would openly admit it.
As she neared the college exit doors, she took a quick glance to her left. It was Santana's classroom. For a second, she was tempted to go inside. To apologize and tell her teacher that she was lying, how it was all lies and that she did love her. A couple steps forward and the college girl had her hand on the doorknob. But then she saw something through the glass, and most definitely heard a voice; two voices to be accurate.
"What is she doing with that student?" Brittany mumbled sadly to herself, images of Santana possibly doing the dirty with that girl were flashing vigorously in her mind. "No, no it can't be." She felt every limb in her body go weak and she could hear her heart rate notch up rapidly.
Brittany let go of the doorknob and made a dash for the exit. Holding back the tears, she greeted her mother and without giving her a hug- which she normally did, she hopped into the car. All Brittany could think about during the car journey was Santana and that student. And only one question kept replaying in her head.
Was Santana going back to her old ways with the students?