Flashback

Today had been one of those days, the kind where you wished you could have stayed in bed all day and regretted at least a thousand times to have woken up this morning. For Balthazar the day started amazing. He had a little party, a few drinks and lots of fun, when those annoying Winchester boys decided to summon him. From there on the entire day went downhill, if not his entire week or life.

Sam and Dean thought they could shock him by reviling Castiel's big master plan about the souls, which they managed but not in the way they would have expected.

When the boys told him that his little brother Castiel worked with the current King of Hell in order to gain access to purgatory and absorb half the nasty fanged and clawed souls in there, Balthazar had been shell shocked but not for the obvious reasons you might think.

It wasn't the fact that that they had formed some sort of alliance that surprised him, but the fact that he didn't trust him enough to tell him about this partnership. That made him nearly slip and loose his carefully maintained mask of arrogance and disinterest.

But those two apes didn't need to know that, so he played along, pretending to know all about their plans and alliance.

At first, when they told him, that Crowley was still alive he got worried how much they actually knew.

Did they only know about Crowley or had they found out about him too. After all the stunts those two idiotic brothers had pulled over the past couple of years it wouldn't have come as a complete shock to him, if they pulled out a angel blade the next moment and killed him on the spot. Or Castiel appeared behind him and stepped him in the back.

He was the traitor in all this after all – at least from their point of view.

But when they said Crowley had an alliance with Castiel and his brother actually just pretended to kill Crowley in order to hide him from harm – harm mainly done by Sam and Dean – he relaxed a bit.

No they didn't know about them, about him.

So how could he agree to spy on Castiel, to work for them if his interests were so utterly conflicted. On one hand he wanted to help them and stop his brother from doing anything stupid but on the other hand, he was trying to help and stop yet another apocalypse. And god knows they had they have had enough of those over the last couple of decades.

It wasn't even that he was against that those two were putting their resources together and pull on the same strings. But he would be betraying trust if he spied on them.

There was only one thing he could do before deciding on anything. They needed to have a long talk, he had some heavy explaining to do as to why he hadn't informed Balthazar who he was really working with.

He already feared this conversation.

"Is it true?" demanded Balthazar as soon as his feet touched the ground. He didn't even bother with greetings. The angel was pissed, and that for a good reason.

"Is what true?" asked his opposite back, confused and slightly irritated. He stopped scribbling notes down, to glance at the infuriated angel.

Shaking his head Balthazar hopped onto an nearby desk, his feet dangling lightly in the air. "Let me tell you a little story."

Balthazar smiled his most radiant smile before continuing, "Once there was an angel, who got summoned by some idiotic brothers. And those morons told the angel an interesting story."

"Get on with it", growled the other impatiently, jabbing with his pen at Balthazar. "I don't have all day and you know it."

"Fine", he sighed, "spoilsport." Balthazar pretended to be sulking for a moment before finally asking the question he came to ask. "Is it true Crowley? Are you really working with my brother? 'Cos those two flanneled wannabe heroes gave me a reasonable explanation why you faked your death. Oh and they know you are still alive. I'm only asking this once and whatever you say, I believe you. Are. You. Working. With. Castiel?"

Crowley didn't reply but the way he cast his gaze slightly ashamed downwards, told more than a thousand words could have. Balthazar just knew him too well. He could read the demon like an open book, knew the hidden meaning of every twitch in his mussels, look on his face or wrinkle on his forehead. And Crowley could do the same with Balthazar. That is what happened when you spend centuries in each other's company and nearly three decades as lovers.

"Why?" Balthazar wanted to know, "why didn't you tell me? I had to find out from Sam and Dean fucking Winchester of all people! What is it? Don't you trust me anymore?"

"No", stated Crowley indignantly, "of course I trust you angel. With my life but it's not about that. I can explain." Desperately he waved his hands around, unsure what to do. This couldn't be happening. Balthazar wasn't supposed to be involved in all this.

"Then please, by all means explain it to me, my dear", begged Balthazar still angry, crossing his arms in front of his chest, "'cos I don't understand. Have I done anything to make you doubt me? To question my loyalties? What is it?"

"Angel", Crowley tried to calm Balthazar down, taking is hand in his own. Balthazar attempted to snatch the hand away but Crowley was faster and held his hand in an iron like grip, not letting him go and looked him straight in the eyes, pleading for understanding.

"I couldn't tell you, because if anyone finds out about us, they can used us against each other. I am sorry but it was for the best. They might have tried to use you as leverage against me, I couldn't risk that. The less you know the better for all of us."

Balthazar stopped struggling and gave the demon a blank look.

"You know, I don't get you. Who in the world might want to get to you. You're the King of Hell and for all my side knows I died in the war."

Softly, Crowley cradled the angels face in his free hand, running a feeble thumb across Balthazar's cheek.

"But that's not quite true, is it?" His voice had gone soft now, "one of them knows you're still up and kicking."

"Castiel?" He wondered aloud, sneaking his hand up Crowley's arm to come to a rest over the demon's hand on this cheek, holing it affectionately. "Why in the world would he try to get to either of us? He doesn't know what we've done or what we are to each other. And if he were to find out, it would be rather hypocritical of him to pass judgement, don't you think my dear?"

The anger had evaporated from the angel's voice, stance and facial expressions. His eyes had gone soft and he looked lovingly and kind, just like Crowley used to know him back in the old days. Before they were hunted and his angel had to grow up and become harder.

Sometimes, when Balthazar wasn't caution, he let is mask slip slightly around Crowley and he could still see the little kind angel inside, confused with the world and technology, wanting nothing more then to sit in a dusty old bookstore and collecting rare books.

Those times were long gone.

"Oh please", moaned Crowley exasperated, letting go of the angel and walking around his study, "like he is the same little bugger that you knew back in heaven."

"What do you mean?" Bewilderment was written all over Balthazar's face, he was so perplex it wouldn't take much more to make him loose his carefully arranged mask of indifference completely.

"He is... to express it carefully, completely bonkers. The Winchesters must have screwed up something in his head." When he say the tension coming back into the angel's features he stopped pacing, his voice becoming softer. "Don't get me wrong he is a great allay", he gripped both of Balthazar's hand in his, begging silently for understanding and trust, "just be careful when you talk to him. All the power seemed to have gone to his head. The little bugger is arrogant as hell and I think he might be dangerous."

"No way!" protested Balthazar vehemently but not letting go of Crowley's hand, "Cas is the most peaceful angel I've ever known."

"I didn't say he is violent", Crowley squeezed his hand lightly to emphasise his words, "just... take care angel, will you? You are too important to me to loose you."

"Of course darling", Balthazar all but beamed at the demon. "I will take care." He leaned closer, pressing his lips shortly to the demon's in a chaste kiss.

"Thank you." Crowley mumbled against the angel's lips, hugging him close. They stayed like this for a while, contend just to feel their loved one close, holding on for dear life and relieved they worked things out. Both of them hated fighting but that seemed to happen a lot lately.

"Uhmm...", stammered Balthazar later, after they had spend almost the entire rest of the day huddled together on the couch, "you know the bloody Winchesters asked me to spy for them on Cassy..."

Balthazar honest to god blushed admitting this. That is what happened when he spend too much time close to his beloved demon – he got all soft and shy.

"Do it", told Crowley him , "talk to him first, maybe then you'll see what I was talking about."

"I will." He kissed his demon one last time goodbye before vanishing. "See you later sweetheart."

As promised, Balthazar went to his little brother to get some more answers. But he honestly didn't like what Castiel told him. He sounded awfully sure and full of himself for someone about to go nuclear, so he went back to Sam and Dean next, agreeing to be their eyes and ears. Of course he took some precautions as Crowley had urged him to before he talking to Castiel. To be honest, he could understand the demon's worries now. Castiel did seem strange and slightly out of control, if you knew what to look for.

Balthazar's general laziness might have been the only thing that saved his life in the end. When he spoke to his brother, he did the same trick Gabriel had done a million times, he didn't appear himself but let a clone do the talking.

So when Castiel summoned him some time later, it was his luck that he was still using the clone as he never saw it coming.

One moment Castiel was besides him, talking about a spy and the next he was stabbing him with an angel blade in the back. Balthazar was shell shocked, but had at least the good sense to keep the apparition of himself dying up until Castiel left, happy with his handiwork.

Balthazar stood there, on the corner of perception, watching Castiel dispose of his death double. Castiel showed no mercy, no regret, just utter and complete superiorness, like he owned the world and could do whatever the heck he pleased.

So Crowley had been right after all, Castiel had gone mad if he could kill his once best friend without bashing an eyelid.

When Castiel was done and he felt is save to let go of the apparition of his dead body he went back to Crowley.

"You were right", he told the demon, shaking his head sadly, "he has gone utterly insane."

"Why", Crowley wanted to know, "what did he do now?"

"Congratulations", Balthazar beamed at Crowley without humour, "your lover is dead once again."