Hey everyone, thought it was time for a disclaimer and author's note in this chapter, seeing as I forgot them in the others.
Disclaimer: I do not own any Harry Potter characters or related ideas, they all belong to J.K. Rowling, though it would be pretty freaking awesome.
3. PENANCE
Thoughts whizzed through Snape's mind. Horrible thoughts, thoughts that he never had wanted to think again.
November 11th, 1981…
"November 11th, 1981," he whispered aloud. A lump in the back of his throat formed and his eyes stung. "Why?"
"Severus," Dumbledore said as if to offer consolation.
"No, this cannot… This cannot happen again… I'm dead, for God's sake!" Snape wailed. "Why, why this time? I just want to be… I just want to be dead…" he sobbed, although Dumbledore was in the room to watch.
"Severus, please, there's ought to be a reason we're-"
"Why did death, who was supposed to relieve me from my pain, take my back to the darkest time of my life?" Snape roared, causing Dumbledore to back down.
Snape sank onto his knees, his head in his hands. There just had to be a reason, unless his death was supposed to be torturous as well. But hadn't he suffered enough during his life? His brain whirred, nearly audible. Was he to live the darkest days of his life for eternity? Why the days after she had been killed? How torturous those days had been for him the first time, long, grief-filled days. He remembered all sorts of things from those days, those months, things he did not want to remember.
Snape simply knelt there at the table moaning and weeping, letting go of all the grief of his life. Dumbledore still stood at the other end of the table.
"I have a theory," he said quietly.
Snape looked up, eyes bloodshot.
"What theory? The theory that I'm doomed to relive my horrible, decrepit life for the rest of eternity?" Snape roared. "As punishment for the things I've done, the people I've killed, the ones I've betrayed?"
"Severus…"
"What? There's nothing left to say, Albus. I deserve this…" Snape trailed off, breaking down to his knees again.
"Severus Snape, listen to me right now," Dumbledore said sternly. "Contrary to what you believe, you do not deserve to relive such a thing. Why would a brave, honest man be subjected to such punishment?"
"I was never honest…" Snape whispered. "I lied, I lied all my life-"
"For your own good and the good of our forces," Dumbledore finished firmly. "Now if you would listen to me, I think I might know why we are here. We are not here for no reason. We haven't de-aged, haven't changed-"
"We? We? I want to know why I am here. I don't care why you are here. I want to know why my present self has been taken back to the darkest time of my life when I should be dead. Dead as a doornail," Snape hissed.
"I think you should know why I am here-"
"You've done enough for me already!" Snape shouted. Dumbledore backed away, and Snape saw a flicker of something in his eyes, although he wasn't sure what. Dumbledore stood for a moment, staring into Snape's eyes, waiting.
Snape wiped his eyes on his sleeve; aware Dumbledore was watching him. His tears left wet marks on his clothes and he thought he should probably be using a handkerchief, but what did he care if he was dead?
His heart ached, longed, for it all to end. All his life he had wanted to die, wanted to crawl into a hole and be no more. But here he was, in the death he had longed for all his life, still being. He didn't want to be anymore. He wanted to completely disappear into nothing, into nonexistence.
"Open that door," Dumbledore spoke.
Snape looked at the door Dumbledore spoke of, the one next to his mother's China cabinet that led to the upstairs of the house. He wondered why Dumbledore had ordered him to open the door; it only led to the two tiny upstairs bedrooms.
Snape opened the door.
Instead of a staircase, he found an endlessly long hallway possessing numerous doors along each side; all of them open.
Author's Note: So finally the title of "100 Doors" comes into play, and next chapter Dumbledore's theory will be revealed. Thank to excessivelyperky for your reviews and your perspective so far on this story, both Snape and Dumbledore will learn some things along the course of this story, even though I'm not really sure how it will end yet… Anyways keep reading and reviewing, everyone, you know you want to click that little "Add Story To Favorites" button down at the bottom… Suggestions and perspective are welcome and encouraged! I hope to have the next chapter up within a few days; it should definitely be up by Friday.