I DONT OWN ANY CHARACTERS OR ANYTHING!

Authors Note-

Sorry I havent added any new chapters! I've been really busy. My dad just died and my boyfriend left me (again which is why i got this new chapter lol) I am also looking for a job and really busy at school. I will try to write more though! I am currently looking for a Beta reader. Message me if you are interested!

And keep reviewing! It reminds me to keep thinking. And soon I will add Heero's p.o.v on things so I things will get a little less confusing.

Duo's p.o.v

Nothing comes to mind. Im blocking all the painful thoughts from coming in. Coming in and destroying who I am. Or should I say what i have left of who I am. I feel like an empty shell. Letting myself feel nothing. To afraid that the tears will start pouring down again. My head still pounds from earlier, when I let my emotions go unchecked. I close my eyes, and rub my temples, hopeing the pounding would stop. I sigh knowing that once that pain is gone then ill be more aware of the sharper pain. The worst one of all. The pain of my broken heart.

"Why Heero?"

I whisper quietly to myself, no emotion in my voice, as i re-open my eyes and glare at the carpet. I can no longer allow myself to feel anymore. It hurts to much. The pain of my heart shattering into a million peices. And all I can do is sit here. Watching and felling it break. All those peices of my heart hitting the cold hard floor. Shattering.

I try to stop the pain. Hold on to what I have left of myself. But you have already stolen most of who I am. How will I go on without you? How will I not love you? How will I not think of you.

I flinch as the pounding in my head grows worse, and I try to stop the thoughts that had snuck up into my head.

"Is love really worth all of this?"

I close my eyes again and lean my head back. Remembering all the times me and Heero were together at the safe house.

How in the beginning I would just sit on his couch. Smiling and talking to him. He of course would say nothing to me. Just sit there typeing away at his laptop. I would just keep rambleing on and on, as if he were talking to me. And sometimes I would even say something that would catch his attention, and he would answer me a few times. Those days made me so happy. Because they let me know he was listening to me. And not ignoring me.

I loved seeing him, being with him. But how could I not see the falseness in everything? He had told me that he had no feelings. That he could let no emotions give him any weakness. And he was right. Who am I to fight for him? To become his one weakness in the world. After all that? I'm not sure if I can handle it. It's hard to get your heart broken for the first time. I'm already at my limit. I need to gain back my strength. My confidence. Then maybe in the future, I can try again... If I'm still alive that is...

I love Heero to much. He is my first love. Strange how you fall in love when you dont even realize or plan on it.

So keep that in mind.

"Love is not something you can plan on happening, it will happen to you when you least expect it."

Authors note- This was a bit confusing so I will explain a little. Well after the first chapter i imagined Duo falling asleep. This is him wakeing up and just thinking about things. Helping him get rid of his feelings so things could go back to normal. ^^ sorry i hope it wasnt to confusing.