June 15

A lot's been going on, but not a lot of time to write it. I've been busy with work, cleaning and cooking from early morning until late at night when I collapse in my futon.

Every day we live in fear of the Shinsengumi and the Bakufu finding us. The Choshuu are in and out all day, grim faced and quiet. Katsura-san hasn't returned here since the Ikeda-ya Incident. And every night, Himura is out.

There's a rumor spreading that the Choshuu prefecture is sending 3,000 soldiers to Kyoto to fight. Some of the maids and younger soldiers repeat this rumor with hope. But the veterans shake their heads. Sending these soldiers would be a foolish maneuver, and would only cause us worse problems.

Everyone is Kyoto is tense. There is no pretense anymore- this is a city at war. Every day, new corpses are found in pools of blood. How long will this chaos last before we all break?

June 30

I'm worried about Himura. He left the Inn three days ago, and he hasn't returned yet. What if something happened to him? What if he's dead, or injured, or captured by the Bakufu? Did the Yaminobu finally catch up with him? They've already attacked before without telling me, they might do it again.

I'm having a hard time sitting still. I tried to use work to distract me all day, and took only the smallest break to eat. But now it's nighttime, and I have nothing to do but worry.

July 1

Himura finally returned this morning. He didn't say where he was for the past three days. He was too tired. I found him in the genkan this morning, leaning against one of the walls, sleeping. I was so surprised to see him there, I nearly shouted. He must have been exhausted if he wasn't able to make it to our room. He didn't even wash first- he was covered head to toe in blood.

I debated on whether or not to leave him there. He was clearly drained, and needed sleep. And besides, why should I bother helping him, when I'm already so busy?

No. I couldn't leave him there like that.

I walked over to him. I nearly shook him awake, but remembered what happened before when I tried to touch him in his sleep. Instead, I clapped my hands loudly until he blearily opened his eyes.

"Come on, Himura-san," I said. "You've got to move."

He looked up at me, his eyes blank. I suddenly noticed clear lines running through the blood spattered on his cheeks. Had he been crying?

Sitting like that, he almost looked like a lost child.

He blinked a few times and leaned back against the wall again, closing his eyes.

"Oh no you don't," I muttered, and lightly slapped his cheek. His eyes snapped open again.

"Come on," I said. "You're taking a bath."

I reached down and grabbed his hands, pulling him to his feet. I led him out of the genkan and down the hall to the bath. I remembered years ago, when Enishi was a toddler and I had to force him to take baths. I'm not sure whether to be thankful or worried that Himura didn't fight back like Enishi did.

Thankfully, the bath was already warmed up. I waited outside for him, restraining myself from going in and checking to see if he fell asleep and drowned. But a little while later, he emerged clean. His head was still bowed with exhaustion.

I grabbed his hand and led him upstairs to our room. As we walked, I felt him rest his forehead on my shoulder. The warm dampness of his hair soaked into my kimono.

"Come on," I said. "Just a little further."

When we reached our room, he collapsed to the floor, and struggled into a sitting position.

"Do you want me to set up the futon?" I asked. He shook his head.

I was getting worried. Should I fetch a doctor?

"I can see them," he suddenly whispered. "All of them. Their faces…"

I suddenly felt chilled. His victims. And suddenly, I wondered: do you remember Akira?

"Tomoe-san," he looked up at me. His eyes were wide, and for the first time, I saw Kenshin smile. "Thank you."

July 2

The rumor was true. The 3,000 troops from Choshuu arrived in the city today. And now a new rumor of a greater Bakufu army coming to Kyoto is starting to spread. Maids are starting to disappear. We wake in the morning, only to find that one or two girls have vanished in the night. Okami-san is furious.

Himura is still out at night. Every time he goes out, I feel sick with apprehension. I don't want him to die. And I don't want him to kill.

I'm also on the lookout for Tatsumi-san's messenger. Now seems like an opportune time for the Yaminobu to strike. But what do I say when the time comes? Even if Himura did have a weakness to exploit, would I be able to tell them?

July 8

It's happening. There's a battle raging now between the Choshuu and Bakufu soldiers. And the Bakufu outnumbers the Inshin Shishi seven to one. The Inshin Shishi are getting slaughtered.

For the first time since I've been here the Kohagiya is completely silent. All the men are out fighting. Almost all of the maids, except me and four others, are gone. We're all in the main hall now, waiting. We don't know what we're waiting for, but Okami-san is keeping us under her constant watch.

"Nothing will happen to any of you as long as I'm here," she said. "Where the hell am I supposed to get new workers once this is all over?"

We've packed all of our belongings and keeping them near us. I don't have much- just my diary, my perfume and my shawl.

I-

Later

The Kohagiya is gone. While I was writing in my diary, Akane-chan said, "Do you smell anything?"

It was smoke. Once we realized that the Inn was on fire, we ran outside. Akane-chan and I had to drag out Okami-san. The Kohagiya was everything to her- business, home, family. Now ashes.

Once we were outside, we realized the gravity of the situation. There were panicking people everywhere. All around us were burning buildings. And across the street from our Inn was a dead man, being trampled by the chaotic mob.

I was forced away from my group as a family shoved past me. I tried to fight my way back through the crowd, but I kept getting more lost.

Suddenly, I felt a hand grab mine. Akira? I thought. But it was Kenshin, holding onto me tightly.

"Come on!" he shouted, and pulled me through the crowd. I held on, blindly following him. Finally, he brought us into an alley, away from the crush of people.

We stooped over, trying to catch our breaths. For the first time, I noticed that Himura's hand was gripping the sword at his waist.

"What do we do?" I asked once I caught my breath.

He stared at the burning city for a long time before answering.

"I don't know," he glanced over. "Just stay with me. I'll keep you safe Tomoe-san. I promise."

We eventually waded our way through the crowd until Kenshin found us a safe spot. We're now hiding under a bridge, next to the river. I'm currently writing this entry on a rock, using the distant fires as my light. Kenshin's sitting on guard. Neither of us will get any sleep tonight.