Chapter Four: Better Than Me

Buffy climbed up the stairs groaning with each step she took. Today had been a long day. Between making sure everything was set for the concert to avoiding witnessing Spike and his girlfriend making out everywhere, which seemed to be the hardest task of all. She was more than happy for him, but did he have to flaunt it so much. "Go I need a Riley!" Buffy said as she opened the door and found Riley sitting on her bed.

"Buffy." Riley said as he stood up.

Buffy closed the door and walked over to him. "Hey what are you doing here?"

"You forgot again."

"Forgot what?"

"We had a date tonight remember? We were going to have dinner then catch a movie."

"Oh god Riley I'm so sorry."

"That's the third time this week Buffy."

"I know Riley and I'm so sorry."

"Buffy sorry just isn't going to cut it anymore. All you care about is that stupid ass club and that fucking band. You don't care about us anymore Buffy."

"Riley that stupid ass club as you so nicely put it is my sole income. So excuse me for wanting to make sure we stay in business and that I have a house to live in."

"What about you and I Buffy? Don't you care about us? Don't you care about me?"

"Riley of course I do."

"Then why don't you return my calls? Why do I always have to make the first move lately? Why is it that every time I come down to the club to see you Willow says that you're busy with the band?"

"I'm sorry about that, but Spike and the guys needed my-"

"There you go talking about him again. I swear Buffy lately you haven't have a single story that hasn't had him in it. I hear his name more than anything else lately."

"I'm sorry Riley."

"Are you sleeping with him?"

Buffy looked at him disgusted. "No I'm not sleeping with him. Riley I'm not that type of person."

"You could have fooled me."

"Riley, have I ever given you a reason not to trust me?"

"Lately you have. When I'm with you Buffy it's like the whole world falls away and all there is, is you."

"And you think that I don't feel the same way about you? How dare you tell me how I feel.

"You keep me at a distance Buffy. You never even call to check up on me."

"Oh I'm sorry. You know, um I'm sorry that I couldn't take care of you when I thought my club, my life was at stake."

"It's about me taking care of you. It's about letting me in so you don't have to be on top of everything all the time."

"But I do! That's part of who I am. And that's what this is is all about, isn't it? You can't handle the fact that I'm stronger than you."

"It's hard sometimes yeah. But that's not it."

"Then what; what else do you want from me Riley? I've given you everything that I have. I've given you my heart, my body and soul."

"You say that, but I don't feel it. I just don't feel it."

"Well, whose fault is that? Because I'm telling you this is it. This is me. This is the package. And if it's so deficient that you need to go and accuse me of things that aren't true, then we REALLY have a problem."

Riley looked down at the ground then up at Buffy. "I'm leaving Buffy; let me know when you aren't so busy." Riley said as he pushed past Buffy and out the door.

Buffy sank down to the ground as she started to cry.

-Ring- "Uh." Spike groaned as he rolled out of Dru's arms to answer his phone. "Ello?"

"Um Spike." Buffy said between sniffles.

"Hold on." Spike said into the phone as he got up.

"Where are you going baby?" Dru asked.

"I'll be right back love." Spike said as he kissed Dru's forehead then left the room. "Buffy."

"Oh Spike I'm sorry to call you so late, but I didn't know who else to call." Buffy cried into the phone.

"Hey why are you crying? Did something happen? Is Dawn okay?"

"Yeah Dawn's okay."

"Then what's wrong?"

"Riley and I got into it really bad today."

"What'd he do?"

"He accused me of not caring about him and cheating on him."

"What an asshole! Who does he think you're cheating on him with?"

Buffy laughed. "Talk about the past coming back…um he thinks it's you."

Spike laughed. "Wow the past sure does like to make a nice reappearance. Buffy are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm better; I just really needed to talk to you."

"This reminds me of that night after prom."

"Yeah, it reminds me of it too."

"Hey I have to go back to bed or Dru will get suspicious. But listen to the song better than me on our CD."

"Okay, but why?"

"You'll see. Good night love." Spike said before he hung up.

Buffy hung up the phone and grabbed the CD. She placed it in her CD player and hit play.

'I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes

And I think you should know this
you deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)'

Buffy grabbed the CD cover when the song was over and flipped to the lyrics for the song. She looked up at who was listed as the writer of the song and smiled.

"Come on Will give it back." Buffy said as she lunged across the bed.

"No Buffy this is really good." William said as he avoided Buffy.

"Will that's a private poem please let me have it back."

William smiled and shook his head. "Buffy one day I'm going to write a song with this in it."

"Fine, but when you print it you have to use a nickname for me or I'll sue your ass."

"Fine Buffy whatever you want."

Buffy smiled and reread the words. 'Better than Me: Written By: Spike Matthews and the Slayer.'