Thanks to Duchess Delanie for letting me reference her story events.
Hiccup decided he really hated dragon training. As it turned out, the entire village was right. He was incapable of it. He was small, he had no idea how to hold a weapon properly, and every other kid in that class could destroy him without breaking a sweat.
Sometimes he seriously feared they would. All he had to do was mess up badly enough, and one of them, probably Snotlout or Tuffnut, would have him twisted and broken before he could say "dragon". Even Gobber just sighed at his attempts and then compliment some old project in the blacksmith stall as if such compliments would make a difference.
Hiccup was grateful he had the house to hide in at the end of the day, though he prayed and prayed that his dad had not secretly hired a number of babysitters to keep an eye on him. That was exactly something his dad would do despite all the speeches of Viking independence and strength. He could come in at dusk, lock the door behind him, and take a much needed breath.
He set to building a fire. When that was happily blazing he set to the next order of business, finding something to eat. Plenty of meat had been dried and stored, and Hiccup had been feeding himself for so many meals for years now.
His dad just wasn't that good at preparing meals. Food was basic to survival. If you wanted to survive, you got food. You didn't wait around for people to prepare it for you.
What was the Night Fury eating? Hiccup hadn't gone there that day. His back ached from training and he still could not shake away the terror he had felt when the dragon had glared at him with those eyes that would have killed him even if the rest of him wouldn't.
Maybe Night Furies liked to play with their food a little. Keep up the chase, and it wasn't like the thing could fly away.
If it could manage to fly out of the ravine, Hiccup knew exactly where it would be going first. With a gulp he glanced at the ceiling. No dragon burning through it yet.
He was being stupid. The dragon couldn't fly, therefore it couldn't get out of the ravine, and there was absolutely nothing to worry about. If it bothered him so much, well, there were plenty of weapons in this house alone. His dad loved weapons and shields, kept them everywhere, in fact. He could still kill the dagon, somehow. Maybe if he threw a sword in there without looking, it would miraculously kill a dragon and Hiccup would not have to feel like a guilty coward about it. Even thinking about that made him sick.
Nothing like this had ever happened to another Viking in Berk. Ever. No one else had shot down a dragon, accidentally marooned it in a ravine, and now constantly thought about it.
He should have never brought out the Mangulator in the first place. It caused such a mess. Gobber was right, it was stupid. A complete waste of time.
And now he was the loser kid with a dragon trapped in the woods. Thor almighty, why did these things always have to happen to him? Was he really thinking that by not visiting the dragon it would magically go away? It would probably die, and then he would be responsible for the carcass of a dragon somewhere.
He wasn't sure he wanted dead.
He sat crosslegged next to the fire and nibbled at dried fish. No cooking for him tonight. What was his dad eating, he wondered. Hiccup didn't even know what supplies these people brought with them on these voyages, his dad had never explained to him the full process. His dad never explained much of anything except what a Viking should act like.
Sometimes he wondered what his mother would think of him. She had died ten years before, and Hiccup was no longer sure what memories of her were real and which were just his own fancy. He just remembered that she had been pretty, drop dead gorgeous. Though all little boys probably though their mothers were the most beautiful. She had been nice. She had sung to him, played with him.
Then had come that spring when everyone had gotten sick including her. Hiccup hadn't been allowed near her, for fear he would get sick as well. He had desperately wanted to lay with her, cheer her up, but his dad had said no. Obviously that had been the best choice, looking back, for a lot of kids had died as well that year.
Still, it would have been nice to speak with her before she had died, not just be informed she was dead and no longer there to take care of him.
Gods as witnesses, Hiccup's dad had very little clues on how to be a parent.
Well, that didn't matter. Things were as they were.
But what had she wanted?
Probably to be a big strong Viking like his father.
He was going to have to return to dragon training.