Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Marvel's, but I do own Sophia and her voice. So don't steal them! If you do I'll send Sophia's voice to do something very unpleasant to you. Ler's just leave it at that.

A/N: Finally! The second part of my epic tale! I know it's been awhile, but I still haven't decided on Sophia's name yet, so you still have time to submit your entry! Oh, and this chapter was thought up at random. Thank you spazzy pills!

Chapter 2: For Your (In)Convenience

I awoke the next morning to Deadpool sitting in the middle of the floor, sewing. And I thought he was kidding! He was sitting next to two carefully folded, white and gray costumes. He looked up when I started giggling at him.

"Finally! You're awake!" he shouted at me. I winced from the loud noise. At least it was better than the voice in my head.

Are you talking about me behind my back? Talk about no trust.

I spoke too soon.

What's the matter? Don't you like me?

Um, well of course I do! Just not as much as some other people.

You better like me, cause if you don't that means you've got very low self-esteem. That's bad for a girl your age.

I sighed mentally, then turned to face Deadpool, who was looking at me oddly. I smiled at him, he smiled back, then continued to sew. I still think that's funny. I jumped off the couch stiffly and stretched like a cat, arching my back and stretching my arms. I moved towards the kitchen in a zombie-like manner.

"So, what's on the agenda for today, Mr. Wilson?" I asked him as politely as I could while managing to find a bowl for some cereal. I searched through the pantry for the actual cereal, coming up with a choice between Trix and Fruity Pebbles. I chose the Trix.

"Well first off, you are going to put on this fancy costume I sewed for you," he picked up one of the already finished costumes from the pile sitting next to him. "Don't let the Trix rabbit have any of your cereal!" he said when he noticed what I was having for breakfast. I nodded at him then smiled again. He continued on with his list, "Then we're going to have some real fun with grenades! Oh, and timed explosives!" he grinned to no one in particular.

"Sounds good. Say, do you have any bread to make toast? I'm really hungry."

"Well I have bread, but you can't make toast with it," he answered vaguely.

"Why not?"

"A girl named Laura Kinney threw my toaster out the window."

"Oh… Why did she throw the toaster out the window?"

"Because the fridge was too heavy," he said while still staring at his handiwork.

So that's why he doesn't own a toaster.

Yeah, a girl threw it out the window.

He just said that!

I'm repeating it to make sure you understand. Did you know that a teenager needs to hear something thirty-five times in order to actually remember it?

Wow. Really?

Yeah. Do I need to repeat that thirty-four more times, or are you good?

I'm good thanks.

You're welcome!

What's got you in such a good mood? This cereal is good. Nice and fruity.

It could be a lot of things. Like that cereal, or the fact that we get to use explosives today!

Sounds like fun. I really want some toast.

So go make some.

How? He doesn't own a toaster, remember?

Throw some bread in the oven.

But it might catch on fire!

A small price to pay for the wonder that is toast.

True. Plus he's got to own a fire extinguisher, right?

Him? No.

What?! No fire extinguisher?!

That's what I said, isn't it? Or did you forget?

I didn't forget! I'm in shock here!

Why?

Because! What would happen if there was a fire?!

He'd spit on it.

Ew.

That's right.

Do you know where a napkin is?

Deadpool doesn't own any napkins. Napkins are for girly-men, like Spider-Man.

Don't make fun of him! He's a nice guy!

It's true though. You're thinking it. I'm part of your subconscious, so you can't hide anything from me.

I thought you were the Green Goblin serum.

Well that's true. I'm 80% serum, and 20% subconscious. Does that clear things up?

Not really.

Oh, well that's all I got. So you'll just have to deal.

Um, okay.

"Is that cereal any good? It's been in my cabinet for quite awhile now." Deadpool stated.

I spit the cereal out of my mouth, spraying it all over the table. "What?!"

"I haven't eaten cereal in forever, so I was just wondering," he said as he glanced at the mess I had created.

"You need to clean that up. We have company coming later, after we play with the grenades," he frowned at me, then grinned at the thought of explosives.

"Um, okay. Do you have any cleaning supplies?" I looked at the mess of pre-chewed cereal and milk.

"Who do you think I am? Spider-Man? I don't own cleaning supplies," he informed me.

I sighed. Somehow I knew this was coming. "Okay then, I'll just run to the convenience store and buy some. Do you need anything else?" I asked him, searching the counter for a pen to write what I guessed was going to be a very long list. I was right.

"Yes; I'll need three more boxes of Trix, seventeen gallons of vinegar, six boxes of baking soda, a bottle of hydrogen peroxide, some bandaids- I prefer the Hello Kitty ones to Spider-Man or Wolverine, five rolls of duct tape, a few bottles of Tylenol, a few boxes of Advil, two tubs of 'I Can't Believe It's Not Butter'- I get that kind even though it's not really butter, some Pillsbury Crescent Dinner Rolls, um, am I forgetting anything?" he paused and glanced at me. "Oh yeah, I need some more Oreos too." He tossed me a silver colored credit card, which looked oddly expensive, for him.

"Why are you giving me your credit card?" I asked without looking at the name on the card, or the brand for that matter.

"It's not my credit card, its Tony Stark's. So don't feel bad when you end up spending way more than you wanted too; Tony's a billionaire. Now go, spend his money!" he said, shooing me out of the apartment.

"But I thought we were going to go blow things up," I used my best whining voice to sway him back to the dark, and explosive, side. Come join us; we have cookies!

Don't tempt the audience; they're crazy enough without your messed up cookies.

Huh, I guess that's true…

"That was before you offered to go to the convenience store," he said as he shut the door in my face.

Darn, I was really hoping he'd come with me.

Don't worry, you have me.

You don't count if you're part of my subconscious.

Well I'm all you got, so you're stuck with me.

I suppose we should be getting to the store now.

Yes, I suppose we should. Oh, but we don't need the audience to watch us the entire way; they get to skip ahead, to when we're buying things to get revenge on Deadpool.

What?

Oh never mind.

Thirty minutes later, after I had picked out everything on Deadpool's list, I picked out some things for myself. Tony won't miss a few thousand dollars missing from his bank account; after all, he is a billionaire. I looked carefully at the different types of curling irons; 2" to 5", ionized to nonfluffing. I finally decided on a hot pink one, with thirty different heat settings, for optimum curl. Take that Deadpool! This iron will teach him not to make me shop alone with a credit card that has Tony Stark's name on it! Oh wait… I'm alone with a limitless credit card. Time to shop!

Finally! Do you know how long I've been waiting for you to think that? Pretty long.

Hmm… I thought you left when I was picking out the Band-Aids.

Too bad, cause you can't get rid of me.

What if I go to a doctor and tell him I've got voices in my head?

He'll think you're crazy, then throw you in an asylum with all those other crazy freaks.

Hmm, I don't think I want that. Which eye-shadow do you like better; lavender or red?

Ooh the red, definitely the red. And no, you don't want to go to an asylum, they aren't as much fun as they might seem at first.

How would you know? Ooh, that's a pretty shade of Charcoal. I wonder if it comes in a shade lighter…

Check a little to your right. Yes, that's the one.

Ooh, pretty. Are we supposed to be somewhere?

Only Deadpool's. But this is much more important.

Maybe, but I think we should get going. He could be worried about me.

Deadpool? Worried about you? Now that's funny!

Whatever. I'm leaving with my merchandise.

Head to register 12. There's no line.

Okay.

I pushed my somehow-extremely-light cart over to register five, almost knocking over an old lady on the way there. "Sorry!" I called back to her. She was shaking her fist at me and mumbling something about how teenagers can't be trusted with a shopping cart. Oh well. You can't win them all.

Unless you're Deadpool.

Hmm, I guess that's true.

I put all my items on the little conveyor belt thing, and waited for the cashier to ring them all up. She scanned the box of Band-Aids, then again when it didn't show up on the computer. "Price check on item 566294011835396," she said in a gravelly voice. Somehow that reminded me of Mr. Wilson's voice. And how it sounded like charcoal, if charcoal could have a sound.

"You can swipe your card now," she said in the same voice. I obliged, swiping the silver card on the little card-swiper. She nodded at me, which meant I could go. At least that's what I thought it meant. But for all I know it could've meant that she was going to hunt me down later, or that she was impressed that I could push the gigantic cart all by myself, or that she knew who I was and was going to hunt me down. Wait, I think I already said that. Oh well, you can't be too careful.

Yes you can. That's why all those people are locked up in the asylum. Because they thought someone was going to take over the world, so they decided to beat them to it.

Yeah, but I'm not going to try and take over the world. How am I going to get these back to Wade's apartment?

Hey! Don't use italics, that's MY thing! And I have absolutely no idea on how to get those home.

Darn, now I have to do work.

Yes, now hurry up! We haven't got all day you know!

Weren't you the one who wanted to stay in the make-up aisle?

That's beside the point. The point is that it's cold out here!

Feels fine to me.

That's because I'm shielding you from the cold. Here how nice is it now?

Oh my god! That's cold! Cold, cold, cold, cold, cold! Shield me again! Please!

There you go. Now get us back to Wade's apartment! Hurry!

Ooh, don't you just love voices in your head? I know I do. Hah, just kidding. Or am I? dun dun duuuuunnnn! Review if you have any ideas for Sophia's 'Anti-Hero' name. I call it that because she is Deadpool's Apprentice, and he is an Anti-Hero, so she shall be too!!! Yay! Thank you Anonymous, Captain Deadpool, metaulvr and Super_Squeak19 for your entries! They are much appreciated! I think that's all, for now anyways. REVIEW!