Disclaimer: I only own Sophia, and her weird inner voice. The rest belong to Marvel.
A/N: I would like to thank all my reviewers for submitting their suggestions for Sophia's name, but Zarsthor was the ultimate winner. You are reffered to as 'Deadpool's awesome naming skills' in this chapter. Thank you everyone!
Chapter 4: The Manly Scooter Ride
"You are extremely early, Weasel. We weren't expecting you until 2," Deadpool said, shaking his finger back and forth.
"Um Wade? It's 2 o'clock right now," Weasel looked at his watch. "Well technically it's two o'seven."
"Oh really? Well then you are late! Bad Weasel!" Wade continued to shake his finger at Weasel. Weasel just shook his head then turned to me. He offered me his hand nervously. I gripped it firmly and he jumped back a little. "I don't believe we have formally introduced ourselves yet. I'm Jack Hammer, or Weasel. And you are?"
I opened my mouth to answer but Deadpool answered instead. "Her name is Jacknife."
Jacknife? How did he come up with that one?
I don't know, but I like it. It sounds dangerous.
Yeah. I like it too. Jacknife.
"Oh." Jack Hammer pulled his hand away quickly. "Well it was nice seeing you Wade, but I've got to go. Bye!" Weasel rushed for the door but I ran after him and grabbed one of his arms. He squealed, then I pulled him down to the floor and sat on his back.
"Thought you could run, didn't you Weasel?" Deadpool walked over to where I was sitting on Weasel. He grinned at Weasel then motioned for me to get off his back. "Sophia you can get off him now. I think he's learned his lesson." I jumped off his back. Wade offered his hand to Weasel, who grabbed it gratefully.
Why did he try to run? And why did I go after him?
Well maybe he was scared of Deadpool's awesome naming skills. Jack is his name you know.
Okay, that answers my first question. But why did I go after him?
Oh, that was me. Sorry about that, but we needed to prove a point.
And what would that point be?
That you really do have super powers.
Oh, that one.
"Well Weasel, I'm sorry about Sophia. I haven't had time to train her yet."
I snorted and blew a dangling hair out of my face. I have manners, what was he talking about?
Um, I'm pretty sure you just proved his point.
Oops.
"It's okay Wade. I'm fine." He got up off the floor and made his way over to the chair that Wade had previously thrown across the room. "When are you going to start training?"
"We're going right now! Sophia put on your suit I sewed; we're going on a field trip." He threw one of the suits at me. I grabbed it and headed to the bathroom. As I was rounding the corner I heard Weasel say something.
"You sewed her costume?" I heard him start laughing quietly.
"Yes, as a matter of fact I did," Deadpool stated smugly. There was more laughter after that. I walked into the bathroom and locked the door. I carefully put the costume on and it fit like a glove. I gave myself a good look in the mirror. My costume looked like Deadpool's except that white replaced red, light gray replaced black, and the dark gray belt replaced Deadpool's brown one. I looked good.
It's nice to see that you're being modest.
I know, right?
I was being sarcastic.
I knew that.
Sure you did.
I pulled the mask over my head, thus completing my costume. I unlocked the door and stepped out into the hall. I walked back into the livingroom only to find that Deadpool was showing Weasel the inside of his fridge. Which was weird. I crept over behind them quietly and tapped both of them on the shoulders at the same time. They both jumped and turned around to me. Deadpool nodded and pointed to the stitches in the side of my costume.
"See Weasel? I told you I could sew." He smiled smugly at Weasel.
Weasel put up his hands. "I'm sorry I didn't believe you." Deadpool pushed me towards the door and followed behind me. Weasel followed reluctantly behind him. "I've got a bad feeling about this."
"Come Weasel! Come Sophia! To the Deadmobile!" He lead us to a beat up red scooter with a bunch of stickers all over it. It looked like it would barely hold up Deadpool, let alone two other people. It'd probably fall apart right under us!
Looks pretty sturdy to me.
Well you aren't the one who would get hurt if it did fall apart, anyways!
True. Good luck!
Thanks, that means sooo much to me.
Hey! Watch the sarcasm!
Whatever.
Deadpool hopped onto the scooter and patted the seat behind him. I hopped on, then Weasel got on after me. Great, sandwiched between two men on a scooter that may or may not fall apart on the road. Deadpool smiled. Is it just me, or is Deadpool enjoying this just a little too much?
I'm pretty sure he's enjoying this too much.
Glad to see I'm not alone.
You're never alone. You have me.
That's not a very encouraging thought.
Sure it is! It means you'll never be lonely!
Uh huh.
Deadpool pulled out of the dark parking garage with enthusiasm. He drove along the road as fast as the scooter could go without falling apart. Which isn't very fast if you ask me.
It's super fast if you ask me!
I didn't ask you.
Well you should have. I have very good opinions.
Everyone's entitled to their opinion. Even if it really doesn't matter.
Says you.
Yeah, says me.
Deadpool waved at a cop going in the opposite direction. The cop waved at him, then did a double take. The next thing I know, the cop's chasing us up the street with the sirens blaring. I hugged Deadpool just a little bit tighter, and I felt Weasel hug me a little bit tighter. Deadpool smiled and hit the gas as fast as it would go. I felt the little red scooter shudder then speed up to way faster than the cop's car. We sped down the road and rounded the corner tightly. Deadpool lost the cop around one of the many corners we rounded after that.
Deadpool smiled again and steered us towards a big steel building. He hit the brakes and spun the little scooter around so that it parallel parked itself. I loosened my grip around his waist and he hopped off the scooter. I tried to hop off the scooter but was held back by Weasel who was still holding on tightly to my waist. I tugged at his hands and he released his grasp almost immediately.
Deadpool led us into the building with a smile still plastered on his face. We followed him to the elevator. I pressed the button and waited. Deadpool tapped his foot on the ground impatiently.
The elevator doors pinged open and we stepped inside. The little room was enveloped in the overwhelming aroma of pickles and peanut butter.
The elevator has character now, too.
Great. That's just fantastic. Because I love it when everything smells like pickles and peanut butter.
I know I do.
Well that's you. What are we doing here?
We're going to play with explosives! Yay!
Who owns this building?
Tony Stark.
Of course.
He's got plenty of buildings to go around.
So we get to play with explosives?
Sort of. You guys are going to have to defuse a bomb.
WHAT?!?!
Deadpool got a call saying that there was a bomb about to go off in the attic of this building. That's why Wade called Weasel.
Why didn't they call a bomb squad, or something like that?!? We're hardly experts!!
Shows how much you know about your buddy Weasel. He's got experience with many weapons and can hack into almost anything. Including a bomb. The police force wasn't alerted to the presence of the bomb because they are so confident with Weasel's skills.
Oh. That makes me feel much better.
I took the time that we had in the elevator to check what was in my pockets: a pocket knife, some throwing stars, a few grenades, a couple of clips of bullets. Wait. Bullets? Do I have a gun?
Yes. Check your right-hand side, hidden pocket.
A hidden pocket? Cool.
I felt around in my 'hidden' pocket and pulled out a beautiful gun. I sensed Deadpool's surprise when I randomly pulled out the gun, and Weasel's fear from the same moment. I grinned.
I believe you also have a katana on your left-hand side shoulder case.
A sword too? This is the best day ever.
I pulled the katana out of its casing. Deadpool stared at me in surprise. Weasel fainted.
Great! Now who's going to defuse the bomb?!?!
I belive that would be you.
WHAT?!?!