Losing Honor In Literary Devices

Disclaimer: I am no way affiliated with Gilmore Girls. The show belongs to the CW. I am no was affiliated with Rory or Jess, Milo Ventimiglia or Alexis Bledel.

Hope you enjoy. Review!

One hand curled around the cushions on the couch, while the other gripped the phone tighter to her ear, hearing the sound of his voice, whispering sweet nothings that steadied her breath and calmed her muscles.

He knew exactly what to say to her to still her, although she could not completely comprehend all that he was saying, it was calming her in a way that nothing else could. Not books, not music, and certainly not Logan. It was Jess, fully and untainted.

He read to her. Passages that seemed all too familiar, yet so far away. He told her that she was wonderful, he told her anything that she needed to hear. Some things were so far off that she couldn't believe them, while others she willed herself to believe.

She sat listening to him speak without saying a word for about an hour. Her hair was almost fully dry. She thought about talking to him, expunging the one-way conversation, but decided against it, knowing that it would just bring up a topic that both were getting very good at avoiding.

"Rory?" He asked. She bit her lip. Crimson spilled into her mouth leaving a metallic taste that coated her tongue.

"Yeah?" she asked. She shut her eyes, concentrating solely on the taste that resided in her mouth.

"I have talked for over an hour, and you haven't said anything. You called, I asked no questions, but what have we talked about? Books? Music? Nothing important. Why did you call?

It was a reasonable question; she just didn't have an answer for it.

"Jess, I just needed to talk to you. To hear you, I guess."

"Why me?" He asked, pushing a little bit further being careful not to push her over the edge, because he wouldn't be there to catch her.

"Because, like you said, Jess. You know me better than anyone. Besides, why do you think I called you?" She spoke only above a whisper. She was in so deep that she couldn't believe that she was complicating things by talking to Jess.

She was only trying to fix everything, though.

"I don't know you anymore, Rory." He spoke sadly into the phone. It was only half-truth because he did know the real Rory, just not this mask that she had pulled over her face thinking that she wasn't good enough, before it slowly molded into her face suffocating her real self.

"I know. Jess, I don't know me anymore. How did you do it all by yourself? How did you fix yourself?" She was rambling to herself more than to him.

"Well, lets just say I had a lot of support." He smiled sadly into the phone.

"You don't give yourself enough credit, Jess." She spoke into the phone. He had thanked her when he showed her his book a while ago, and maybe she did deserve some credit, because she had shown him that he really could be better, but she didn't deserve all the credit. Jess saw what he needed to do, and did it. She couldn't say this for herself.

"Rory, you still with Logan?" He asked her. Last time he had seen her she had told him that she still loved Logan. Jess had felt like his heart was being ripped out as the words traveled from her lips to his ears. He did his best to keep the disappointment off his face by cracking light jokes.

"I mean, yeah he still introduces me as his girlfriend, and-"

"Rory, are you still with him, or not." He quickly cut her off.

"Yeah." She said quickly into the phone, hoping that if she said it fast enough it would stay unheard.

"I'm still waiting." He told her. It wasn't mean or angry, just stating that he was getting tired of being dragged back and forth.

"I know, Jess. Look, could we possibly meet for coffee or something?"

"What? Meeting didn't go so well last time. Besides, I'm in Philly, you're in New Haven."

"Fine, I'll come down to Philly for the weekend." Rory stated confidently.

"Why are you so set on this, Rory?"

"I don't know! I don't know, anymore."

"Enough with the pity-plea, Rory; I'm getting tired of hearing it." His voice was lacing with anger.

"I'm sorry." She apologized at him once again, her voice losing some confidence as it traveled the through the air to his ears.

"This is crazy," he told her. She shut her eyes and a clock behind her eyelids appeared, it desperately reminding her that her time was up.

"Can I come to Truncheon?" she asked. She pleaded in her mind for him to agree.

"I can't stop you," was his reply instead. She couldn't blame him though.

"Alright, I'll see you soon?" She asked. He nodded, and she hung up the phone.

---

Rory walked to the bathroom, and pulled up her hair in a sloppy, lop sided bun on her head.

She applied some makeup, and walked to their bedroom, and opened a window to get that nasty perfume that resided in the air to clear.

She packed a bag, mostly books that she though she should read again, and some clothes for the weekend.

She still didn't know exactly why she was traveling all the way down to Philadelphia, but as corny as it sounds, she felt as if she was being drawn there.

She scribbled down a note to leave for Logan and attached it to the key he had given her in case he worried-doubtful, and shut the door of the apartment, taking one last look in before locking it, and sliding the key back under the door with the note still attached. This way, nothing could stop her because she had no way of getting back in.

She adjusted the strap of the bag on her shoulder, and walked down the steps into the front lobby and through he double doors, finding her car in the overcrowded parking lot, and taking a seat in it.

She let out a breath, and picked an old CD that she had received as a present about four years ago from Jess. It was the Distillers, from when they went and saw their concert.

She started her car, and it roared to life as she pulled out of the parking lot, and started the long drive to Pennsylvania.

---

It was many hours before she saw that familiar building, with the aged bricks. Truncheon stood tall as the sun was setting behind it.

Rory parked her car, and sat in it for a couple of minutes, contemplating what she should do. She had gotten this far, might as well go in, she finally decided.

She grabbed her bag, and walked up to the doors. They were huge and intimidating, probably made out of oak, she silently thought to herself.

She pushed the door open, and looked around. Slowly, her eyes came to a figure standing in the corner of the room, book in hand, gel in hair. He hadn't looked at her yet, but she knew that he knew she was in the room. Something about the environment changed in that moment, and his eyes detached themselves from the book, and traveled up to meet hers.

She stood by the doorway, frozen, afraid to move.

Just when that spear had made it to her hands, she dropped it, and it rolled across the floor, gathering more dust.

That honor stuff was in short supply.

---

So, love it? Hate it? Tell me. I have already written the ending for this fic, but it will be a long while before this story is done, so don't worry.

Also, sorry for making Jess kind of snappy when they were talking on the phone, but think about it: if your ex girlfriend who acts like Rory does, called you after telling you that she was still in love with someone else, I would be a little angry.

Thanks. Please R&R!

-Missed the Train