A/N: Alright guys, here's where I grovel at your feet and ask for forgiveness. I know I've been procrastinating with this story, but I'm finally back. Thanks for all the reviews and such. Now, onto the story~

Chapter 4: Serious Buisness

Recap:

Alfred sat in the room in boredom, eyes scanning over every poster on the wall. He must have read every poster at least twenty times when the doctor walked back in, looking very confused.

"Mr. Jones, we've done the tests multiple times. I need you to answer one question for me. Have you had any sexual relations with anyone in the past nine weeks?"

Alfred nodded slowly, worried. Did Ivan give him an STD?

"Well, Mr. Jones...There's nothing more I can do but congratulate you. It seems you are pregnant."

Alfred saw the ceiling, then black.
_

Alfred opened his eyes, seeing white. Was he dead!

"So you've finally regained consciousness, have you?"

Realizing quickly that he was laying down on the hospital examination chair, Alfred sat up and looked over at the doctor. He searched through his mind to remember what was so bad that he blacked out- Heroes do not faint. When the memory came back to him, it wasn't entirely a great thing.

"So...I have a baby in me?"

The doctor nodded, looking over his clipboard. "That's usually how pregnancy is described, yes."

The little hamster in Alfred's brain tried to turn the wheel of thoughts, but evenit was confused.

"B-but I'm a guy! Guys can't get pregnant! This..I'm...Its...It's not normal!" Alfred gave the doctor a look of fear. He was trying to grasp at any explanation for why this would be happening. How this could be happening.

"Doc, please tell me this is all a huge joke and he," Alfred pointed to Russia, who'd been watching the scene Alfred was making out of amusement, "Payed you to lie to me! I can't be pregnant!"

The doctor looked up from the clipboard, annoyance burning in his eyes.

"Look, I'm not sure how you are do to your gender and anatomy, but the tests and research clearly show that there is indeed a fetus inside of you, it is three months of age, and I don't know what else I can say to prove to you that I am speaking the truth. If you don't wish to have the child, then the only thing I can tell you to do is have an abor-"

"What? I can't do that! Heroes don't kill babies!" Alfred's eyes were wide in panic. If the doctor was telling the truth, what else could he do? At most, he just wanted to go home and take a nice long nap and worry about this later.

"Then I need you to take this," The doctor handed the slip of paper to Alfred, " Give this to the secretary, and schedule an appointment for next month. There's nothing more I can tell you."

The drive home was awkward and very quiet. Russia was staring out onto the road, and Alfred was staring at his lap silently- a huge contrast to his usual attitude. There was nothing to be said, though. The doctor's words echoed in Alfred's mind, and he wasn't sure what to do or think.

"I will be helping you raise the ребенок."

The sentence was so quiet that Alfred almost didn't hear it. He turned to see Russia still focusing on the road as he drove, as if he hadn't said a thing.

"What?"

This time Russia glanced at the younger nation from the corners of his eyes. The violet orbs held a serious expression and there was no grin as a sign of a joke.

Alfred stared at Russia in shock. Since when had the larger nation ever played house? He was more of a big bully. Alfred tried to imagine Russia as a father, but his mind remained blank at the impossibility of the task. It was just to unreal to even think of.

Russia had apparently noticed the look of confusion.

"This is my baby, Да? I do not think you sleep with any other male nations. It's my baby so I will help raise it." Russia could have been talking about nothing more than the weather, the way he said it so calmly.

"Hell no! You'll probably raise it to be some kind of commie freak like you!" Alfred couldn't help it. He didn't like serious. When things got serious,and he got nervous, he had to crack a joke or he'd fall to pieces. Russia obviously didn't take it as a joke. A hurt look appeared on his face.

"I will remind you I am no longer a communist, and despite what you believe it does not run in my veins so I am not still a communist. And I would not raise our child with those conditions. I want our baby to be free as well, just not a junk-food eating pig."

Oh god,oh god, oh god. Russia said 'our' child. 'Our' baby. Alfred felt his heart beating loudly and mentally yelled for it to shut the fuck up so that Russia wouldn't hear. And for once, Alfred didn't know how to reply to the frozen hearted-literally- nation.

The car ride was silent again for at least five minutes. Russia had apparently expected an answer because he once again broke the silence when they pulled up to a red light.

"You will let me help raise him, Да?" Russia stared at Alfred now, obviously waiting for an answer to be given. Alfred stared back in thought. This was Russia's child too, right? And it wasn't like the guy would use the kid to take over the world right?...Oh crap, what if he did? And turn the whole earth into a commie icy land and call it Russia and- 'No, Al. Get a grip on yourself. Cold Wars over. Stop getting so nervous. Be serious for once.'

Alfred looked up at Russia, and he couldn't help the sunny grin that came to his face.

"Yeah. You and me both, big guy. We'll raise him or her together."

A/N: A Finally an update. And please don't hate me about the whole Baby-Killing comment. I don't mean to offend anybody.