Author's note: Okay, I know this is LOOOONNNNGG overdue, and super short, and I'm sooooo sorry about that! But I decided to write today cuz I had a bunch of free time, but I didn't know what to write about! So a dash of inspiration came to me while I was singing in the shower (don't judge me, it's perfectly normal), and voila! Here we are!

PS: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to JFK. If you don't know who he is, you're a terrible person, or possibly from a country other than the United States, which is cool, so it's all good.

Chapter 15: How I Almost Shot A Guy

Here I was, laying on this grassy knoll, feeling like the guy who assassinated John F. Kennedy, my crosshairs aimed at my target's head, ready for a kill shot, when he turns and looks around. I was in a rather good hiding spot, I thought.

You're not in a good hiding spot. Everyone can tell that this bush is fake just from the fact that it's the only piece of vegetation around! This knoll isn't even grassy! It's just dusty!

Sheesh, somebody got up on the wrong side of the dirt mat this morning. Anywho, I may have forgotten that I'm supposed to be hunting a telepath soooo… Sing a song so he doesn't read my mind!

You're ridiculous!

If he kills me, you die too, remember?

Ugh, you're right. ….I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world.

I kneeled down in my fake bush. (There's a lot of stuff in these pockets, who woulda guessed some of it would come in handy?) My rifle was steady on the ground, my target in sight.

Life in plastic, it's fantastic! You can brush my hair, undress me anywhere, imagination, life is your creation!

Does it seriously have to be that song?

Come on Barbie, let's go party.

Next thing I knew, X-Man was staring right at me, pinpointing my exact location. Fudge muffins. Now I have to run.

And here I am, running for my life, ever so gracefully, tripping over rocks and running like a maniac. Yep, just your average day in the life of me, Sophia Dyhar, AKA Knifepoint, AKA Deadpool's Apprentice. Well, not so average I guess. This is a little melancholy, actually. Where are the flying boulders I enjoy so much?

Right as I thought that, a giant boulder flew an inch from my face and landed directly in front of me.

Ask and you shall receive!

Very wise. I'll remember that next time.

I turned around and X-Man was hot on my trail. Snickerdoodles! What do I do?

I dunno, reason with him? What I wanna know is why you keep saying random sweet treats.

Oh, I curse using the names of desserts.

How adorable!

Shut up.

Don't you mean, CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES? Teehee, I'm going to have fun with this.

I've created a monster.

Okay sugar cookie!

I stopped in my tracks, and turned to face X-Man. He stopped suddenly and walked up to me. I dropped to my knees.

"Please don't kill me, Mr. X-Man! Jackknife is forcing me to do this because he hates you and has a grudge against me for accidentally using his name after saving a building from a bomb that he set up. It's all rather confusing. I really don't know what's going on at this point," I explained to him.

He smirked. "Your monologue with yourself is rather interesting, sugar cookie," he teased. "What do you want?"

"Oh great, you heard her. I really just want to get back to my home, on my earth," I replied. "I don't want the money Jackknife offered, I just want to get back to training with Deadpool. God knows what he's been up to while I've been gone… I want to see my brother again, even though he's a zombie now. An incredibly lame zombie which has no purpose in this story."

"Wait, story? Jackknife would send a crazy after me. I thought he was dead," X-Man said.

"No, he's very much alive. I don't know where he is at the moment, though. He's probably around here somewhere. And yes, this is a fanfic written by some teenager who is incredibly bored at the moment." I smiled. "You're welcome! Can you take me back home now?"

That sounded wrong.

"Yes, yes it did." X-Man smirked again. "Yeah, sure, I'll get you back to your earth. Just take a sniff of this rag first though." He shoved a rag in my face.

"Hey, this smells funny.. Like, like chloroformmm—" I passed out.

Next thing I knew I was laying on Deadpool's living room coffee table.

"Hey! Took awhile! I've been looking for you forever!" Deadpool announced, leaping off of his chair, a bowl of popcorn flying through the air and scattering across the floor. "Popcorn?"

"No thanks, and I seriously doubt you were even looking for me, no offense," I said.

"Good, you're learning! Excellent, excellent," he tapped his fingers together evilly. "Now get into the kitchen and make me a sammich, woman!"

I rolled my eyes. He held a katana to my throat. I sighed.

"Fine. Hope you know the only kind of sandwich I make is PB&J," I said, resigned.

"Does that stand for pickles, beans, and jelly?"

"Um, no."

"Darn." Deadpool looked at the floor glumly.

It was good to be back.

Author's Endnote: Guys I need some feedback, and again I'm sorry it was so short. But hopefully there will be more this week! Also, I had writer's block for the past few months, although some of my classes are helping with that. Thank you though, guys! Seriously, I love you! I feel like this story has come so far, it-it-it just brings a tear of joy to my eye. *sniffle sniffle* *sniff sniff* crap, I smell chlorofoormm...*passes out*