Chapter 3: Love is torture
She didn't blink.
She didn't move.
She didn't even breathe.
All she did was stare.
Stare at the body of Nao.
The body of her ally.
Her comrade.
Her best friend.
The body that was once alive minutes before, only to be killed by the hands of Natsuki, her best friend.
Minutes passed. To Natsuki, it was like hours, days, even months.
But Natsuki didn't care how long she had lied there, underneath those dead bodies, just staring at Nao's lifeless eyes.
And you know what? Nao stared right back at her.
Another few minutes passed, and Natsuki still lied there, almost as lifeless as her closest friend.
But Natsuki wasn't dead.
No, she wasn't supposed to live, but she did, and only at the expense of her best friend's life.
But… Was that the only price to pay?
A noise caught Natsuki's train of thought, shattering any spare thoughts she had as she listened for that noise.
"…"
Silence.
Natsuki didn't hear a single noise; there was no gunshots, no loud thud of bodies hitting the ground, not even the faint sound of combat boot-clad feet putting pressure on the gravel-covered ground in the distance.
No, not a single sign of life was left on the battle field. Except for Natsuki.
Shifting her weight slightly, Natsuki managed to roll the dead body atop of her to her side with a soft thud as the body hit the cold gravel.
And that's when she saw her.
Sergeant Suzushiro.
One normally should fear death, or even feel pain and despair when they are killed. But Haruka's face wasn't like that. Haruka's face was contorted, not into fear or agony, but that of sorrow. For what reason? Natsuki didn't know.
But then she noticed a small flap of paper sticking out from her sergeant's front pocket of her uniform, flapping up and down to the cold breeze that blew by.
Natsuki knew she shouldn't take that paper. She knew she shouldn't unfold it, or read any of its contents, but she couldn't help it. Maybe it was a last request of her sergeant. Maybe it was a note she forgot to take out of her pocket. Or maybe it was a letter to her beloved.
Reaching out slowly, Natsuki took the paper, gently tugging it out of its confinements. She glanced up every second or so to see if Haruka would react, but obviously enough, she did not.
Sighing softly to herself despite the situation, she finally slid the paper out of the pocket, trying to ignore her higher up's expression. She unfolded the parchment quietly, reading the contents slowly. She held her breath for some reason or another, as if she were discovering something secret…
'I love you, Yukino. Don't give up your life because of me.
Haruka'
Natsuki felt like throwing up.
Natsuki just felt horrible. She felt like a monster.
Haruka was a sergeant, a benefit to the army, and Natsuki… Well, she was just a private.
Thoughts spun in Natsuki's head, making her feel dizzy.
What if Natsuki let herself be killed?
Would Haruka have survived to go back to Yukino?
Would it be worth it if she didn't go back to Shizuru?
Natsuki fell to the ground on all fours. She didn't deserve to live. Nao didn't deserve to be betrayed. Natsuki shouldn't have been selfish.
She should have just died.
Yet another minute passed with Natsuki unmoving, staring at the gravel beneath her.
Shakily, she stood on her feet, shifting her gaze from the ground to the dead bodies in front of her. Nao, Haruka…
She looked around herself, gazing into the distance, looking at hundreds of dead bodies, just lying out on the battlefield, forgotten and left out to rot.
She felt like she was going to vomit. She felt like she was going to burst into tears. She wanted to do so, but she didn't. She couldn't.
She wanted to cleanse herself from her selfish actions, be it by salty tears or her own bodily fluids, but she just couldn't.
Nothing happened, she didn't react. She only stared out into the distance, at the dead bodies, then Haruka, and then finally Nao.
Natsuki couldn't do anything. All she could do was walk away.
So she did.
-o-
"Shizuru, don't…!"
A loud clang of metal hitting the tiled floor was heard throughout the apartment, followed by a desperate plea and a loud thud.
Tomoe held Shizuru in her arms as Shizuru sobbed into her shoulder, a bloodstained knife was laid onto the floor and drops of crimson blood were falling from Shizuru's left wrist. A diagonal cut was on her wrist, almost vertical, and the blood was gushing out of the open slit.
"N-Natsuki…" Shizuru sobbed, digging her face into the crook of Tomoe's neck and clenching Tomoe's shirt.
Tomoe growled, but still held Shizuru in her arms.
'Can't have a chance to feel Shizuru up slip by, can we?'
"Natsuki…!" Shizuru cried, her cry muffled by Tomoe's neck.
This elicited yet another growl from Tomoe, this one much louder than the previous one. She had a disgusted expression planted on her face as a scowl made its way to her lips.
'How dare Shizuru taint my ears with that name…!' She thought inwardly, growling audibly. Shizuru stiffened in her hold.
"How…" Tomoe started lowly, "...Can you even say that name in this apartment?" Tomoe hissed harshly, glaring at Shizuru.
Shizuru just shuddered visibly, her eyes widening as a cruel smirk played on Tomoe's lips. She wanted to move away from Tomoe, but she couldn't. By the time she had even thought of moving away, Tomoe had gripped Shizuru's wrists tightly and shoved her against the bathroom wall, ignoring the blood seeping through the fingers on her right hand from Shizuru's bleeding cut.
Instead of worrying about the cuts, she took pleasure from the frightened look Shizuru had, loving the feel of her beautiful, crimson blood against her fingers.
Oh, how Tomoe loved the pain that shone through Shizuru's crimson orbs. Shizuru's eyes remind her of blood, and oh, how she loved to see blood.
Tomoe was not in love with Shizuru. She was in love with her pain. Tomoe's pleasure was Shizuru's plights, her fun Shizuru's blood, and her love Shizuru's pain.
Sighing, Tomoe held both of Shizuru's wrists with her left hand, her right trailing down the side of Shizuru's face, then neck, leaving a trail of Shizuru's blood behind.
"So, tell me, Shizuru," Tomoe smiled fauxly, "Why were you crying Kuga-san's name and… Damaging yourself?" She asked, jerking her head in the direction of Shizuru's wrist.
Shizuru didn't answer, lowering her head and obscuring her face from Tomoe's vision, which made Tomoe frown. It isn't fun if you can't see the pain in Shizuru's expression, after all.
She tightened the grip on Shizuru's wrist sharply, causing Shizuru to gasp in pain as her head shot up to face Tomoe, whimpering loudly as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Answer me, Shizuru." Tomoe hissed, growling as she leaned in closer to Shizuru.
Wincing in pain, Shizuru finally answered.
""B-Because…" She stuttered, "I… I need Natsuki."
Tomoe's face wrung in disgust, but she recovered her composure quickly, shooting a demure smile at Shizuru.
"Oh, but Shizuru, you have me, don't you?" She chuckled darkly, eyeing Shizuru closely.
When Shizuru gave a weak nod, Tomoe immediately pressed her body against Shizuru's, panting hard and smirking.
"Then scream my name louder than Natsuki's."
-o-
Tomoe sighed, sitting in front of the fireplace 3 hours later on the sofa. She was smoking a cigarette, and in the ashtray on the tea table was filled with ashes and many cigarette buds.
She had managed to ravage Shizuru and earned pained moans and whimpers from her beloved hours before, and she was satisfied with her bite marks on Shizuru's flawless skin, her mark to know that Shizuru was hers.
It had been, what, 3 months since Tomoe had moved in with Shizuru, and she still hadn't destroyed the memories of Natsuki.
'Those memories are carved in there.' She mused, 'And the only way to get carvings out is to shave the surrounding bits off…' She sighed audibly, the only noise that could be heard in the lounge room besides the crackling of the fireplace.
During those 3 months that Tomoe lived with Shizuru, Shizuru had tried countless times of suicide, each time screaming Natsuki's name. Tomoe had let Shizuru cut her wrist horizontally, so she could see her suffer, but always intervened when Shizuru tried anything too serious.
After all, her play thing isn't a play thing if it's dead.
Puffing out a cloud of thick smoke, Tomoe chuckled.
"I will get total control over you, Shizuru."
-o-
Yes, sorry for the small chappy.
Once again, Tomoe is a sadist BITCH who shouldn't be in this story. But she is.
And are we seeing similarities with Tomoe and Natsuki? Yeaaah, I'm a sneaky little bastard. ;p
Oh, and guess what I forgot in the last few chappies?
THAT'S RIGHT, THE DISCLAIMER! So, here it is, while I can still bother doing one.
By the way, this goes for all my Mai HiME stories and this full story too. For the atmosphere, you know? Can't have a stupid disclaimer when someone is DYING in this story. Haha.
Disclaimer; I, BlueCrackers, do not own Mai Hime, nor can I bother to look up who actually DOES own it.
Rate and review please, and thank you for more reviews last chappy! Less than the first one, but oh well, still good! My aim is 30 reviews, and if I get more than that, I'll post quicker! I have already pre-written the next three chappies, so, if you want them faster,
REVIEW! ;p