Disclaimer: found it, liked it, and wrote about it, for my friend's birthday, you get?

I sit looking at the Kendo champion and all I think to myself is how disgusting this feeling is. I can't stand it, I told myself I was through but now I'm on the balcony of this stupid area trying to tell myself to leave him, and it is NOT going to plan A, B, oh hell even C!

M-m-m-my heart, heart, my heart

My heart goes at the speed of light

But the exit signs always on my mind, always in my sight.

I can say that I really want to stay,

But the devil inside always wins the fight, always gets his way.

I love h- no I hate him. I can't love; I said I was done with that! No, no, NO! This is disgusting I think I gotta go out on my own way, yah I'll hit the highway!

Jump out the window gotta get out on the highway,

Think things have getting too attached I need an escape.

I'm seeing stars and there is nothing more that I hate, baby.

There is something that I gotta say.

After his practice I walk up to him.

"Mori-sempai, I have something I need to say to you…"

"Yes Haruhi? What is it, you look stressed."

It's disgusting, how I love you. God, I hate me.

I could kill you .Cause you're messing up my name.

Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.

It's disgusting. It's disgusting, how you changed me.

From a bandit to a baby.

"Well, I have been thinking about us and about what happened to me before us and uh well…"

"Yes Haruhi?" he swings his bamboo sword up on to his shoulders with as much practiced skill and grace as a hot guy like him can muster.

Thinking about gotta change my name,

If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.

Look at what you do to me. It's disgusting.

"I think I wanna, break no stay together okay never mind I love you Mori."

"Haruhi, I would understand if you don't love me, it is okay, one of the twins may be better it's your choice, it always has been."

"I know, I think I'm having issues with some stuff."

Placing a hand on his perfectly sculpted chest, I shake my head, and lean up against him on the drafty balcony for warmth and for his reassurance that I'm not going anywhere with any of those boys. As much for him as myself… I think.

My mind blinks like a traffic light.

It's green and red and stop and go.

Changing all the time.

And it makes me scared, that I haven't left.

That it's still right here, more or, or, or less.

Jump out in traffic, ya, I gotta go my own way. My head is slipping, too intense I need an escape

There is something wrong here, I don't feel safe, I have always felt safe so why do I want to run from him now? I don't know why but it is disgusting…

There is something that I gotta say. It's disgusting, how I love you.

God, I hate me. I could kill you

Cause your messing up my name.

Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.

I know he doesn't have this feeling, I used to be so independent, but now I depend on him. So why do I get the feeling to run now? That is the feeling that is disgusting.

It's disgusting.

It's disgusting, how you changed me. From a bandit to a baby.

Thinking about gotta change my name,

If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.

Look at what you do to me. It's disgusting.

He looks at me as the Sakura trees are in full bloom and I can smell them. This is r-r-romantic, I think I'll panic.

Chapter by chapter, I'm falling faster and faster,

Becoming manic and magic it's so romantic I panic, oh.

Hit the eject button but it must be stuck, something's up.

What did you slip into my drink? Baby.

This love can be disgusting; it is the sickly sweet kind the kind dreams are made of. I think that well I love him but it is the true disgusting love.

It's disgusting, how I love you.

God, I hate me. I could kill you. Cause your messing up my name.

Gotta walk my talk my fame, but I just want to touch your face.

It's disgusting. It's disgusting, how you changed me.

From a bandit to a baby.

Haruhi, Morinozuka… changes my name… sounds good…

Thinking about gotta change my name,

If I'm gonna walk this walk of shame.

Look at what you do to me. It's disgusting.

Oh, it is disgusting Oh, it's disgusting

Look at this, it is disgusting!

Look at what you do to me. Oh, look at what you do to me. It's disgusting .Disgusting.

Or, is it really that disgusting?

"M- Takashi, look at me please."

He looks down at me with slight surprise this is the third time I've ever used his real name. And he knows it, as well.

"Haruhi, did I do something to offend you? Or did I say some-"

I shut him up really quickly with a kiss. If this, no if he ends up that disgusting then I'll love it. I love him. And I'm tired of the mind changing and all that other crap. I love him I love Takashi Morinozuka! This is how it will stay no matter how disgusting this feeling is I love it!