Title: Love on the High Seas: "Wizards' Duel"
Author: Pirate Turner
Rating: G
Summary: Salem is called out by an arch nemesis.
Challenge: Fanfic-bakeoff LJ comm's monthly competition
Warnings: AU, Crossover, Drabble
Word Count: 300
Timeline: This story happens before the start of the series.
Date Written: 23 November, 2011
Disclaimer: Salem Saberhagen, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Captain Hook, Smee, Peter Pan, and Drell are ﾩ & TM Disney, not the author; are used without permission; and may not be used without permission. Sean Cassidy is ﾩ & TM Marvel comics and Disney, also not the author; is used without permission; and may not be used without permission. JD Dunne, Buck Wilmington, Josiah Sanchez, Jareth, The Magnificent Seven, Labyrinth, and all other recognizable characters and fandoms are ﾩ & TM their respective owners, not the author; are used without permission; and may not be used without permission. The Love on the High Seas series is ﾩ & TM Pirates Sparrow, also known as Captain Jack Sparrow, and Turner and may not be used without permission. Everything else are ﾩ & TM the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.

"What?" JD asked as "ooo"s went up throughout the crowd and some of their army yelled angrily in defense of their leader. "What did he say?" The opposing Wizard had called JD's adopted father a name in an old language he didn't know, and though he didn't know what he'd said, it was clearly a great insult.

Buck's mustache twitched angrily, but he placed a hand on JD's shoulder to still him. "He called him a newbie," he translated, growling, "a greenhorn."

"Salem's not - !" JD started to exclaim, shocked.

"We know that, Kid," Josiah's deep voice rumbled.

Captain Hook thrust his left fist into the air, his mustache bristling. "And Salem will show him how much of a newcomer to the arts he's not!"

"YEAH!" Smee shouted right beside him, pumping his plumper fist.

The army cheered, but Salem waved at them to hush as he stepped boldly forward. He gestured to the challenger. "Go ahead. Make the first move."

At Drell's command, a dragon swept through the air, blowing fire; Salem turned it into a hatchling just crackling out of its egg. A hippogriff attacked next; Salem transformed it into a hippopotamus. Arrows became flowers, and a Sphinx a mere cute and mewling kitten that Selina Kyle quickly grabbed out of the battle. Snarling crocodiles were danced away by ballerina hippos amongst Salem's men roaring with laughter.

As Drell watched the crocodiles in astonishment, Salem vanished the ground beneath his feet. Drell yelled as he fell, and his wand became a snake writhing around his hand. His screams were closed out by the new oubliette sealing. Salem smiled as his men cheered, and Jareth, Sean Cassidy, and Chris lifted him onto their shoulders.

"Ah," he purrs now, his long, black tail swishing joyously, "those were the good, old days."

The End