A/N 1: Okay- this is the informational, educational chapter you've all been waiting for. If this isn't your kind of thing then you may skip it. Though then you can't blame me for feeling lost and confused.

Chapter 4

"Please state your name for the record."

"I... uh... what?" Hermione asked in confusion.

"State your name for the record- or should we take this as a sign that you are unwilling to co-operate?"

"Wha- Katie, what is going on here?"

"Shush! Here, we question you. Not the other way around- now state your bloody name!"

"Er..." Best to humour the crazies, she supposed. "Hermione Granger."

"Is that your full name?" Tracey asked her, a knowing glint in her eyes.

"Uhm... Hermione Jean Granger..."

"Right. Now that that's out of the way... Cho! Li! You may now question the subject."

Suddenly Hermione found herself flanked by two Chinese girls. "Uh, hi."

"'Uh, hi'? Is that how you got Mister Potter to date you? Your witty conversation starters?" Cho asked casually.

"Or did you seduce him using less legal means... like a love potion?" Li accused, turning Hermione's chair to face her.

A titter of female voices followed this statement.

"I... what? We're not dating!" Hermione cried.

"Ha! A likely story girl!" Li challenged.

"No! No! You have the wrong idea- we're just friends!"

"Hermione," Cho said in a sympathetic voice, "I'd like to believe you but you have to admit... the evidence does seem to be stacked against you..."

"Wh-what evidence?" Hermioned asked incredulously.

"What evidence? How about your guilty conscience for one? Not enough for you? Then I present The People's Exhibit A: photographs of yourself and Mister Potter sitting in a highly intimate pose behind the greenhouses this afternoon."

There was a ruffling sound, punctuated with little exclamations and chittering conversations as the photographs were distributed. Finally Li shoved the pictures in front of Hermione.

She recognized the pictures.

They depicted the position the two of them had been in that afternoon.

"We... We were just hanging out together! He was having a smoke before we went to the library for reasearch! It was completely platonic!"

"Oh really? Care to prove that?" Li sneered at her.

"Oh, come now. I'm sure she has a reasonable explanation for that picture..." Cho tutted.

"Yes! I do- he was comforting me! Harry's like my brother!"

"Oh really. Does that explain the amount of hours you spend with him per week? I present to you People's Exhibit B: a log of the average amount of hours you and Mister Potter spend in each other's company each week, arranged by year!"

Hermione raised her eyebrows at this statement before Li shoved the papers into her face as well. They were actually eerily accurate when Hermione thought about it...

"Hey! This is creepy! Who's been watching us this intently?"

"That is not something you need to know. I assume from your reaction that these are accurate?"

"Well, they seem to be..."

"Oh, so you keep records of how long you and Mister Potter spend in each other's presence?"

"Wha-? No! I don't, but I have a pretty good internal clock and... Wait! What's going on here?"

"Hermione, relax. We just need to know whether you and Harry are a couple?"

"No! We're not!"

"Prove it, Granger." Li hissed.

"I... how?"

"Madame President- if I may lead the witness with a few key questions?" Cho asked, Katie nodded. "Okay, Hermione. First things first: How did you and Harry get so close? I mean a Gryffindor and a Slytherin- it's hardly a common occurrence now is it?"

"Well... No. I guess not. To be honest, I didn't even notice him those first few months in first year. He was like a shadow of some kind. If he had been a bit paler I would have thought he was a ghost. But then I kind of noticed him when we reached for the same book- it was a copy of an extracurricular book on Runes, far above first year standard.

Well, we kind of got to talking then, about the book and academics. It never really crossed my mind that he was Slytherin..."

"Wait- he can talk?" Angelica asked in shocked tones.

"Well, yes. But he apparently has a throat injury- I've seen the scar, it looks terrible- and it makes him shy of how his voice sounds. Not to mention that it apparently really hurts..."

"Well, well, well! Hit me in the knees with a garden gnome!" Katie whistled.

"So, that's how you met?"

"Uh, well, yes. It was during a really bad time. Ron and Neville weren't talking to me after the whole Fluffy incident..."

"Dare we ask?" Li muttered from her side.

"Well- Fluffy is a huge three headed dog that Hagrid kept. It was guarding... Uhm..."

"Do not lie to us Miss Granger! Or we will make your life hell!" Li immediately jumped at her.

"That not being the point here!" Hermione pointed out. "The point is, we got to talking and we talked until Filch came stalking into the library..."

"Aw, you got locked in the library together... I can just imagine it." Cho grinned at her.

"Pity she isn't making much of a case here..." Li grinned maliciously.

"The point is- Filch came, and Harry managed to sneak us both out of there." It's how we found out he can turn others invisible when he really needs to. Hermione thought to herself. "And over the next six weeks we just kept on reading and working and talking together. He was a really good listener, and I was a kid with way too much to say."

"Well, obviously nothing's changed there." Pansy snorted in amusement.

"Oh, yes, ha-bloody-ha!" Hermione growled at her. "But the point is- we just kind of fit together. We were both reading tomes far beyond our year level, and we were both misfits. None of you can deny those facts!"

There was a muttered agreement amongst the girls.

"And then, when the troll invaded the castle... well. Harry hadn't seen me at dinner, and he was worried. So he snuck out early and performed a basic tracking spell to find me in the girls' lavatory."

"Woah, woah- wait. The most basic tracking spell available is third year level. Are you trying to tell me you guys were mucking about with that stuff already?" Katie asked, a dangerous gleam in her eye.

"Well... Yes."

"Okay. Millie, darling, hit her. On the arm yes- oh, fine, the left one. No, no- her left not mine. Not too hard mind you, just hard enough to get the message across..."

"OW! What was that for?"

"Because! Why do you think you're not taught every spell simultaneously? Or taught to summon something earlier in your school career, hm?"

"... Because that's the curriculum...?"

"Yes- but why is that the curriculum? Why not just teach you all the summoning spells in one great lump? Because- and listen closely- you mature magically. Just like you age physically and emotionally, your magical core still grows and matures. If you go putting too much strain on it too early you can end up a bloody squib! It's very dangerous!"

"... Oh." Hermione gulped.

"Oh. That's what the girl says- Millie, punch her again. This time I want her to be a little bit bruised, but not enough for it to actually form a bruise. Wow- you are good girlfriend! Okay- continue Hermione."

"Where was I? Somewhere between punches I kinda got lost." Hermione said, glaring at Katie as she rubbed her injured arm.

"You said, and I quote: 'So he snuck out early and performed a basic tracking spell to find me in the girls' lavatory', unquote." Tracey stated in a monotone.

"Right. So, there we were: Harry trying to console me, and I was crying my eyes out. Then suddenly there's a roar in the doorway and this huge troll is standing there and giving us the evil eye. I was so scared I screamed like a little girl, and Harry just sort of stood there paralyzed. But when the thing came charging at us Harry went charging right back at it! And he managed to get himself onto its head, clinging on for dear life, and then he punched the troll so hard he broke his hand against its thick skull!"

A gasp came from her audience, Hermione was really getting into this now.

"Anyways, that at least made the troll roar in anger and it plucked Harry right off of its head. But Harry wasn't going down without a fight so he bit the blaggart's finger and there was blood spurting from it! That's when I realized I had to do something- so I used the wingarium leviosa spell to knock it out with its own wooden bat."

There were noises of approval and scattered applause at that statement. Hermione blushed- she wasn't used to getting any kind of approval from her peers like this.

It felt good.

"Well, well, well. I guess there's nothing like defeating a mountain troll to cement a friendship, huh?" Cho grinned at her.

"Or a blossoming attraction!" Li accused.

"Oh come now! It's not like that."

"Really? Then why did only Gryffindor house lose and gain points after that debacle?"

"Oh, that was because Professor Snape was the first teacher to find us..."

Absolute horror met this statement- even from the Slytherins.

"Wow. So that's what earned him detention for the next three months... with Professor Snape..." Millie murmured softly.

"Uh, yes. Well. Professor Snape found us, gave me a tongue lashing until Professor McGonnagal got there- with Ron and Neville who she'd caught on their way to come and save me- and then he sort of smuggled Harry out underneath his billowing robes..."

"Huh. He seems to do that a lot with troublesome Firsties..." Pansy smirked, before stroking a little squirter bottle she had with her.

It was disturbing.

"Alright...So then what happened. I mean- we all know that the Golden Trio got into a boatload of trouble, but what exactly happened?" Cho interjected.

"Well... it was really a blur from there on... But Neville saw that Professor Snape was bitten in the leg by Fluffy, then Neville and Ron thought that Professor Snape must have been behind the entire scheme- but he wasn't! And then Harry helped me to get some research done, since Neville and Ron don't really like that sort of thing and then the whole Quirrel incident happened and then it was the end of the year and we'd won the house cup!"

"... Wow, Hermione, breathe!" Cho declared at the end of this.

"Sorry..." Hermione wheezed.

"Okay... but then, after the summer holidays, hadn't the whole thing cooled down?"

"Well... Second year was kind of weird. We were kind of awkward friends, see. We each had our own friends from our own Houses... So we were friendly, but not all that close. Then the attacks started, and Harry got really paranoid. He couldn't properly divide his time between myself and Daphne and Millie and it really got to him. He was driving himself insane. And then one night I had a brainwave and I went to do my research alone and there Harry was already- and boy did he chew me out for walking around alone. When I finally got him to calm down I told him about the Bassilisk and he told me that he had figured out that someone was being possessed.

And then he did something I know still haunts him: he let me make my way to the tower alone while he sleuthed around for the possessed student.

I got attacked by the Bassilisk that night. And the rest is just kind of blurs and sounds... though I hear he saved Neville's life that time around."

"What? How?" Katie asked, obviously hanging onto her words as much as the rest of the girls.

Hermione shrugged. "I don't know. Neither of them really talk about it- but I do know Neville's never trusted him since."

"Oooooooooh..." The room went.

"Anyway, when I woke up from the cure Harry was there by my bedside with apologies and a huge bunch of flowers and a box of Honeydukes' chocolates. Which he apparently had to beat Draco Malfoy at poker in order to get the money for them."

"Why? I mean, the Potters were a respected family with enough money to look after him for."

"Oh! I know the answer!" Ginny Weasley said- despite the fact that she still looked pale at the mention of her first year escapades.

"Okay then Ginny- educate us." Katie smiled at her.

"Well, the fact of the matter is that all the money any of us is left by a family member goes into trust. This trust is taken care of by an executor- a goblin from Gringotts. This goblin then keeps it in a high interest account for you until you start attending Magical School. Through a series of very complicated calculations the goblin works out how much you need to survive a school year- for books, wands, stationery, etc- factoring in the interest rate until you leave school, so he pays you out seven equivalent payments during your school years. After you graduate, the rest of the account is entrusted to you."

"Wow... That sounds complicated..."

"Yeah, well. Bill was better at explaining it than I was..."

"No, no. It kind of makes sense now..." Daphne mused.

"Anyways- get to the juicy part! What happened after he brought you goodies?" Cho asked.

"Nothing. But he was just so sorry and upset that I realized that, at the very least, he considered me his friend..."

"Awwwwww...!"

"And then in third year, well. That was a hectic year."

"Yeah- didn't Neville get abducted by that supposedly dead guy? During that weird attack on the castle's wards?"

"Well, yes. It turned out to just be a diversion- remember? Anyways, Ron and I got managed to get in the way so we got kidnapped too , and we all ended up in a graveyard. Apparently Vol-"

A sharp intake of breath.

"-demort had us brought there in order to use Neville's blood to create himself a new body. One that could actually touch Neville. However Harry had managed to follow us all, since his first thought had been that I was missing and he needed to come and find me. So while Harry managed a diversion, Ron managed to get himself and then us free.

So we ran. Luckily Harry had managed to get hold of a portkey, and so we all three got back to Hogwarts relatively in one piece. It was horrible though. I still have nightmares about that place sometimes."

"... Where did Harry get a portkey?"

"Huh. Good luck trying to get that out of him- I've been trying for years now, but he's just completely mum on the subject." Hermione shrugged.

"And that obviously made you closer." Cho stated.

"Well, obviously. I mean- he's always looking out for me..."

"Huh. I don't believe that You-Know-Who is back. There would have been some clues- a lot more destruction and mayhem." Pancy huffed.

"Now is not the time for this discussion. Besides- I believe Hermione, Neville Ron and Harry." Katie said simply.

"Okay- what about last year. That whole department of mysteries thing."

"Well... that's more complicated. You see- remember Professor Moody?"

"Crazy as a drunken house elf." Li stated simply.

"Yeah- he also kidnapped Neville again."

"What? Man- Neville gets kidnapped more times than a princess in some sappy fairytale!" Angelina said, her hands held up in exhasperation.

Hermione laughed. "Harry said, and I quote: 'Longbottom puts the "damn" in damsel in distress'".

Laughs followed this before Katie called everyone to order again, and gestured for Hermione to continue.

"Well, in Neville's defense: Moody- or the man posing as Moody rather- spent the entire year gaining Neville's trust. And then he offered to give him the extra lessons in Defense that Dumbledore insisted on... Well. It was just too easy to kidnap him and it wasn't until Moody didn't pitch for class the next day that we figured out that something was wrong... some friends we are huh?

In any case, we finally figured out that something was wrong. And then Harry- Merlin alone knows how- finds out about the prophecy and how it's kept in the Department of Mysteries. So we decide to call a truce in order to go get Neville back."

"But he could have been somewhere else!" Pansy argued.

"It was the only lead we had, and Harry seemed pretty adamant about it." Hermione shrugged.

"Maybe he was blessed with an inner eye..." Parvati Patil sighed dreamily.

"Well, whatever it may be, we managed to corral some thestrals and get to the Ministry on them. When we got there... well. We thought it might be too late, since Neville had been tortured until he was nearly catatonic.

But we managed to get the prophecy- Harry broke it in a scuffle with a Death Eater- and we managed to get Neville out of there and back to school."

"Wait- why did Harry and Ron call a truce?"

"Uhm... It was more like Harry walked up to Ron, put a knife to his throat and said that since I was bound to go haring off into this situation he was going along to protect me since Ron couldn't even protect himself, nevermind anyone else."

"Shouldn't Neville be more grateful to him then?" Pansy asked.

"Uhm, Neville kind of blames Harry... he thinks Harry is another Death Eater sent to befriend and then betray him."

Ouch. She thought as she saw the room wince in sympathy for her friend.

"Okay- one last question." Cho said.

"Sure." Hermione shrugged again.

"Can I date him?" Cho asked her.

"Uhm... sure. If Harry would like to... why would I have a problem with it? We're just friends."

"Madame Chair Person, would this be enough to convince my contemporaries that Miss Granger is innocent?"

"Hm. Councillors, to me. We shall see." Several girls- mostly Ravenclaw seventh years- immediately surrounded Katie and started whispering in her ears.

Cho gave her a bracing smile and a pat on her shoulder. "There, there. I'm sure that they'll believe you..."

"Uhm, Cho... I'm kind of confused here... what is this place?"

"Oh, that! The Hogwarts Women's Association! As founded by Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff themselves!"

"... I thought that was just an urban legend..."

"Oh no, no."

"We have come to a decision!" Katie's voice rang out over the chattering which had started.

"Wow. That was quick- I take it back. You're probably screwed." Cho said.

"I- Uh- what?"

"The decision is thusly: Miss Granger, you are to swear off any type of romantic relationship with Mister Potter. Both present and future. You will not run interference in any attempts of any other person in Hogwarts attempting to woo Mister Potter. Your hours will be carefully watched to ensure that the amount of hours the two of you spend do not increase more than alotted by your new" -and here Katie actually used air quotes- "research project. This is the Council's decision. Do you agree to these terms?"

"Uhhhhhhhh..."

"Go for it! You won't get a better deal!" Cho whispered in her ear.

"Too bloody good for you!" Li hissed into the other.

"... Alright...?"

"Great! That's lovely then. Spot of brilliance from us all I think. Miss Li- I believe you will be able to give us and Hermione a good time allotance? Yes? Brilliant. Hm, you may leave Hermione. Sorry about the heatedness of this discussion, but it was really quite a shock to us all, so we just really needed to clear this little mess up. So glad we could. Have a cupcake! Okay then, ta! Enjoy your evening!"

And with that Hermione found herself having been ushered out of the door, standing in a hallway clutching at a pink sparkly cupcake.

That was... weird. No other word for it.

At least the cupcake was good.

A/N 2: Phew! This chapter was really challenging to write. It went through a couple of rewrites until I finally decided to just post the damned thing. Nine pages of information- that's a lot of info to condense... So? Love it? Hate it? Bored to death? Think I should just burn it?

Yum- cupcakes.

Please note that the HWA is a plot device to make certain informational things a bit more interesting for you to read and me to write. After all, you need a bit of comic relief every now and then. This is in no way meant to be taken seriously. And it means to harm to women anywhere. Alrighty? Alrighty.