Summary: Bryan and Tala decide to take Ian out for a ride in Tala's surprise taxi in a final ditch effort to cure their little friend's phobia. Ian, however, is convinced that the British taxi is stalking him and, when they go for a drive in the woods, things seem like they're only getting worse.

Disclaimer: Beyblade does NOT belong to me, however much I might wish it does.
The plot is inspired by this freaking brilliant episode of The Regular Show, so if anyone's reading this and thinking, 'Heyyy, i've seen this somewhere before' then well, yeah, that's why. I'm not claiming it's brilliance! DDDDDD:

Thanks to: Kiray Himawari; chocolatexloverx16 and Spinster-magic95 for their reviews on the previous chapters. This one goes out to you! :3

3. Bathroom Break

"So...what are we doing here again?"

Ian was nervously toeing the ground with his boot as Tala fiddled with the locks on the garage door. All five of them, to be exact. Tala was always anal about them going in this garage, and Ian had always wanted to know what was inside. But, alas, he was never allowed.

"Ian," Bryan said in response to his question, "You know how we've always wanted to see what Tala keeps inside this garage?"

"Yeah..."

"Well, now we are!" he said with a flourish.

"Yeah… but why?"

"Because, Ian, inside this garage is something that's gonna cure your fear of British taxis."

Ian suddenly felt sick. "What? You mean like the cricket game, Bryan? No way, man! I'm not doing this!" He then began to storm away, but his little legs didn't get him very far before Bryan caught up to him and started dragging him back by the elbow.

Just then, Tala brandished his feared pimp cane in Kai's face and ordered him to bring him a step-ladder so he could remove the final lock. As Kai trotted off like a smitten puppy (Bryan shuddering again at the mysterious powers of the pimp cane), Ian's eyes travelled all the way up to the top of the garage door where, sure enough, he saw the final lock. It was bigger than his nose, and it was the only one he'd never been able to open because it was simply too high for his stubby little arms to reach.

Kai returned soon enough and, not two seconds later, Tala was climbing up the ladder and removing the final lock. He threw it at Kai and told him to hide it somewhere very safe, and then clean the house and make dinner before they got back. He wanted steak, and he wanted it well done. Then Kai skipped obediently away like the little bitch he was, with a rose blush covering his cheeks, and Tala made his way down the ladder.

"Right, boys," Tala said, opening his arms and beckoning the other two forward, "This is the moment you've been waiting for."

He opened the double doors dramatically, and Bryan and Ian both prepared themselves for what was inside. Ian gasped and hid behind his hands, while Bryan simply lifted an eyebrow. Inside, gleaming proudly in the light, was a yellow New York cab.

Tala took a few steps inside and twisted around on the spot, holding his arms out to them. "Well? Here she is!" He then twisted around again to gaze lovingly at his second most prized possession. "Isn't she beautiful?"

His coat tails swayed around limply as he waited for their response.

"…Tala," Bryan started a little hesitantly, "I thought you said you had a British taxi?"

Tala spun around on the spot yet again, and looked at Bryan with surprise. "Huh? A British taxi? Oh, I thought you said a brownish taxi!"

Bryan resisted the urge to face-palm. "But Tala, this is yellow."

Suddenly, Tala was holding out his pimp cane in Bryan's face, backing him away into the wall. His eyes were sharp and cold. "Take it back."

"Wh - Tala, what the hell?"

"Take it back! My Taxi is not a coward!"

Bryan could feel the effects of the pimp cane starting to work their magic on him. He was going weak at the knees and he felt slightly feverish. His mouth was going dry and he could feel his blood pounding in his head. He was just breaking out into a light sweat and beginning to tremble when he said, "Shit, Tala! Alright, I take it back!"

Then Tala had lowered the pimp cane and was walking away. Bryan shuddered slightly as the effects of the pimp cane were wearing off. Geez, he thought, that was fucking horrible. Now he knew how Bella in Twilight must feel every time she looked at Edward. That pimp cane was insane! Poor Kai, having to deal with that all the time.

Taking a deep breath and recovering himself, Bryan walked over to Ian and said, "Right, so...are you ready to go for a ride in Tala's taxi?"

"What? Dude, no, I'm not getting in that thing!" said the midget, shrinking back a little.

"Why not? It's not even British."

"I don't care – a taxi's a taxi!"

Bryan made to grab for the smaller teen, saying, "Dammit Ian, stop being a pussy! We're going for a ride in that taxi!"

"No no no – wait! I er, I need to go to the bathroom!" Then he swiftly ducked Bryan's outstretched arm, left the garage through the inside door and walked through the utility room into the bathroom.

Once there, he turned on the tap and began to splash some water on his face, trying to reign in his fear. He knew it was stupid – Tala's taxi wasn't even British. But you just couldn't tell these days. All taxis were potential threats as far as Ian was concerned.

Ian looked into the mirror and took in his haggard appearance in the mirror. There were bags under his eyes, and his whole face was drooping. Hell, even his poor nose was sagging a little under the stress of the past few days with Bryan. Stupid Bryan shoving his face up against the tv for two days, and then taking him to a cricket match that he knew would be swarming with crazy British people. And now this? What the hell was he trying to do, kill him?

But even Ian knew he couldn't go on like this. He knew he couldn't live properly if he was always looking over his shoulder for evil killer taxis, whether they were British or otherwise. And he knew he couldn't avoid British people forever – they were freaking everywhere these days. And they even ruled the world at one point!

No, Ian knew he would have to confront this, otherwise this fear would rule his life forever. He looked his reflection sternly in the eye. "Right Ian, you can do this, man. It's just a car – nothin' to be afraid of. Just a load of metal and some gas. You can do this. You're a tough guy."

After this inspiring pep-talk, Ian walked over to the toilet-paper dispenser to grab some tissue so he could dry his face. But when he pulled it out, he jumped back in horror as he saw that it was stamped with the print of a tyre-mark.

"Oh shit," his little eyes darting nervously around the room. "Shit shit shit shit –"

Suddenly, the bathroom was lit up with a flash of lightening, and through the little window above toilet Ian saw the British taxi. It was glimmering murderously in the light, and its spiky radiator grill teeth were sharpened and glinting. 'Ello Gov'nor…'

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"

Screaming like a banshee, Ian wrenched open the bathroom door and into the adjacent utility room. He backed up against the door into the garage and spared a glance back into the bathroom to see if the British taxi was still there. Then the telephone on the wall next to him rang, and made him jump right out of his skin. Gulping in fear, and shaking like a leaf, Ian reached out a hand and took the phone off the hook. "He - hello?"

'...Ello Gov'nor.'

Horrified, Ian threw the phone against the wall and backed away in shock. This crazy killer British taxi just wouldn't leave him alone. Why him? Why was it after him, what had he ever done to it?

Oh no, he thought. It's because he broke that stupid video. He threw it up against the wall and it broke. Before, he was only having nightmares, but now it was after him for real and it was after him with a vengeance!

Suddenly Ian heard a noise behind him. He turned around in fear, expecting to see the taxi behind him. But it was only the fax machine. It was printing out something slowly, and with great trepidation Ian approached it to see what was written. His breath caught in his throat when he saw the words, 'Ello Gov'nor' on the page.

"AAAAHHHHHHHH!"

Screaming, Ian ran out of the utility room and back into the garage where he saw that Tala and Bryan were already inside the New York cab in the front seats. He wrenched open the door and jumped in the back, screaming, "Drive drive drive!"

"Ian, what –"

"JUST DRIVE!"

Tala did so, all to eager to take his baby out for a spin to bother calling Ian up for his rudeness. After they'd pulled out of the drive, Bryan turned around to look at Ian, who was now laying low in his seat and shaking like mad. "What the hell, Ian?"

"Bryan - it's the British taxi. It's after me!"

"Urgh, not this again! Ian, it was just a mo –"

"It's NOT just a movie! Bryan, it's after me! I broke the video and now it wants revenge! It's not gonna leave me alone until it KILLS MEEEEE!"

"ARGHH, whatever Ian!" Bryan growled and threw his hands up in frustration. "Tala, just keep driving. We're not getting out of this car until Ian gets over his bloody fucking stupid damn fear."

Two hours later, and it was just getting dark. Bryan had fallen asleep and was now drooling against the window, Tala was still driving along quite happily and humming to the tune of 'Mambo Number 5,' and Ian was in the back seat performing calming breathing exercises, his eyes darting out of the window every now and then.

However, as Ian looked out of the window, he noticed that they were heading towards what strangely looked like a forest. A very dark, very scary looking forest.

"Uhh… Tala? Where are we going?"

"Oh!" Tala exclaimed flamboyantly, "just into the woods out of town. I always drive down here when I like to relax."

"Relax?" Ian questioned as he looked out of the window dubiously.

"Yes! Don't you just love the scenery?"

No, Ian did not like the scenery at all. As he was looking out, he saw that all the trees were jagged and sharp, and he was sure he could see faces in them. And they were looking at him. He knew it was probably just the shadows, but it was still creepy, and definitely not relaxing at all.

Then, just for a split second, off to the side he thought he saw the British taxi in the middle of the trees. Its headlamps were glowing in the dark. Ian started to break out in a sweat. No no no no no, not here, not in the woods, he thought. It was dark and creepy enough out here without the killer British taxi finding him.

His eyes followed the headlamps out through the back window until they disappeared into the distance. Well, at least it wasn't following him, he thought. But he still didn't like being inside this forest. He was about to ask Tala if they could leave now, when the car suddenly started making spluttering noises.

"Oh, no! It seems we've run out of gas!" Tala said. "My poor baby's all drained out!"

Ian froze with dread.

No, they couldn't be out of gas, not here! Not in this dark scary forest with no where to run. The British taxi was just behind them, he was sure.

He was going to die.

A/N: Well, here's the next chapter guys! Poor Ian, he just can't catch a break! And now they're stuck in the woods with no gas in the tank, and the British taxi surely behind them. Did you, know, the British taxi also seeks revenge on people who read without reviewing? So, make sure to click the button below or it'll be coming soon to a bathroom near you! O:

Next chapter: Thursday :3